Disclaimer: Don't own Square-Enix's Final Fantasy, Microsoft's PowerPoint, or Advil.

A/N:

Oh No! This is my last chapter! I am all sorts of sad…While I always complained about updating…I am really going to miss this story. I don't want it to end! I had so much fun writing it…I am also severely jealous of LittleLate, since she gets to write the much-loved Epilogue. Oh well, she gets to write it, but I get the surprise of reading it. : )

Anyway- This is my (CornCob's) very last chapter, so be sure you review and tell me good-bye! sniff I'm going to miss you guys, you were such a dedicated, lovely audience. Happy reading!

The clock struck six as the ever punctual Tseng and Sephiroth entered Conference Room 498. The two were not surprised to find the room vacant.

"You owe me 5 gil." Tseng announced as he chose his seat and settled in, tossing the man to his left a satisfied smirk. The two had bet on whether or not Reno and Zack would be on time to the meeting. Sephiroth had given the two miscreants the benefit of the doubt, Gaia only knew why. The taller of the two sighed as he sat down as well.

"Very well. I really did believe that they would try to beat us here. Good impressions and all that."

Tseng gave a lopsided smile.

"You clearly don't know Reno."

They sat patiently in companionable silence before Tseng noticed one of life's many injustices.

"You bruise is already gone!"

He pointed at the side of Sephiroth's head accusingly, correct in that there was no longer a single mark marring the man's pale complexion. At Sephiroth's shrug, the Turk only huffed.

"Damn SOLDIERs and your mako healing. I'm going to look like I got mugged for a week. That's not a good image for a Turk, you know…"

Sephiroth have a silent laugh and the two fell back into silence. Minutes passed as the two leaders began to get restless, not to mention irritated. Tseng wondered if the two truly were that stupid, that they would waste their one shot at redemption.

"Perhaps we should go collect our misguided subordina-"

Sephiroth stopped short as the office door open and in walked Zack and Reno. Both men adorned a pair of thick-framed reading glasses and each carried a non-descript, black suitcase. Tseng and Sephiroth sat patiently as the two new-comers began to walk about the office, opening their suitcases and setting up what appeared to be an overhead projector. Tseng's eye gave a slight tick.

"Is that my projector?"

His frustration only grew when he went unanswered. Not only had they filched his very expensive projector, but to ignore him when he questioned them? He gave Sephiroth a stern look. Perhaps he would have better luck.

"Zackary, you are 17 minutes late." Neither Zack nor Reno gave any reaction and Sephiroth and Tseng looked at each other in mild disbelief. Were they really being ignored? Them? You didn't just ignore them. Especially when it was your life on the line, and your very existence may very well rest on what you had to say.

Zack and Reno continued to set everything up and quietly mumbled to each other as they went. Tseng was considering firing them both right then and there when the movement stopped and the two seated men were finally acknowledged.

"Ah, Gentlemen." Reno said, bowing his head slightly. "Glad to see you made it. My associate and I were worried you might miss our appointment." His 'associate' then stepped up to the table.

"Good morning, Sirs, and thank you for coming. My partner and I worked very hard to prepare our presentation for you today. Mr. Sinclair, the lights, please?"

"Certainly, Mr. Fair." Reno responded politely, already standing near the lights as he flicked them off. The whole ordeal looked as though it had been rehearsed hours before hand, and for all Tseng and Sephiroth knew, it probably had.

The room was flooded with darkness; apparently the men had not seen fit to turn the projector on before hand. Zack and Sephiroth were able to see through the blackness, as mako did have some of its rare perks. Sephiroth was trying to hold back a snicker as he watch Reno almost make a graceless fall over one of the many chairs in the office before Zack clicked on the machine, coughing lightly as he did.

The room now filled with a soft light as the wall before of the two seated men now displayed the opening of a PowerPoint presentation, and the words "Why We Did It: An Inspirational Presentation by Zack and Reno."

Zack and Reno had had to do some major tweaking on their story, as Zack did not want Vincent's involvement to be mentioned. He at least stood a chance against Seph and Tseng. Vincent would just flat out kill him if Zack got him into anymore trouble.

"Now before we begin…" Reno reached into his suitcase to reveal two note pads and two pens.

"If you have any questions or notable notes throughout our presentation, please jot them down and hold them for afterwards."

Sephiroth and Tseng regarded one another skeptically as they received their pads and writing utensils. They were beginning to wonder if they really should have just handed themselves over for Hojo's experimentation; It couldn't have been as painful as this promised to be.

"All righty!" Zack chirped as he picked up the remote to the projector machine and Reno extended his pointer. There had been quite an argument the night before over who would get to use the pointer and who would control the remote. In the end it was, yet again, left to the good old Rock Paper Scissors to decide fate.

"Let's begin!"

Both men standing took a deep breath as Zack pressed the button on the tiny remote and both Superiors strongly wished for an Advil.

"Our first topic of discussion will be this: How it started!"

Zack took another deep breath and looked to Reno, who nodded supportively as he pointed at the first bullet on the screen.

"We were sitting happily in the cafeteria, talking about this and that, when Reno made a joke about Sephiroth looking like a woman. I, in retaliation, insulted the entire Turk department and then Reno personally. We both have no excuse and are…uh"

Reno coughed something under his breath and Zack straightened.

"Truly repentant!"

As the raven-haired man continued to chatter on about the early stages of the whole ordeal, Sephiroth and Tseng put their note pads to good use, though not in the way that had been expected of them.

Writing quickly, Tseng slid his note over to Sephiroth, tapping his arm lightly to get his attention.

'20 gil says they stayed up all night with a thesaurus practicing this.'

Sephiroth smirked down at the neatly written note, now tuning out his rambling Second in favor partaking in the immature art of note-passing.

'Probably. Those glasses are horrid. We should have never arranged to meet them here.'

As the time passed on, the notes grew more and more off subject, ranging from Tseng's aging grandmother whom he had not seen in several years, to Sephiroth's opinion on the footwear issued to the cadets by the company.

It was only when they were discussing the pros and cons of quick killing vs. torture when a light cough from Reno captured their attention.

"Excuse me, Mr.…" it then occurred to the redhead that neither men had a last name, at least not that he knew of. "…Mr. Turk and Mr. General. Passing notes is not acceptable during…"

One look at the both of them and the young Turk quickly abandoned his reprimanding.

"Ahem, as you were then….Sorry, Zack, please continue."

Zack nodded, silently happy that their two bosses now seemed to be paying attention. He had noticed their notes earlier but did not intend to say anything about it. He was here to bargain for his life, after all, not assure that died in this conference room.

He then clicked the remote, causing the screen to shift and display a picture that made Tseng's eyes widen and jaw drop. It was a medical file picture of one Rufus Shinra, complete with blackeye.

"We now begin our next topic! Remorse and Revenge!" Nodding a final time, Zack stepped aside and let Reno take the floor.

"Right. We have here our first example. This was the day that Zack and myself almost apologized to each other. Then, due to a series of unfortunate actions, I ended up clubbing the brat in the face…"

Seeing Tseng's full body twitch, Reno quickly motioned for Zack to go to the next slide.

"Heh heh, at least you match now, aye boss?" Reno jested, pointing at his own eye. At the absolutely horrifying stare he received, he cleared his throat.

"Moving on…A while later, when Zack and the General were assigned to a mission off base, Zack rigged his office, should I have tried anything. His plan backfired and ended up causing Sephiroth to be covered in syrup: only to blame said offense on me soon after."

Zack refused to meet his Commander's eyes as the silver-haired man stared in angry shock. Fortunately, he and Reno knew they were bound to get many bad reactions from the two intimidating men, and as such had planned to just keep talking. As long as they kept doing the talking, everything would be okay.

"Later on down the road, he stole Delilah, which caused Tseng to be an all-in-all nightmare for a week. In response, I slipped down into Hojo's lab and snagged a picture of Seph when he was a kid…" the redhead was now staring very hard at his wrist watch. "I made…a few…copies and put them up around the company…after that was when things began to get a little out of hand…"

Tseng took the note that Sephiroth had just written and snorted slightly, shaking his head.

'Now it gets out of hand?'

The older Turk did not have the chance to respond when Zack once again took center stage.

"The next topic is 'Why Kidnapping?' We only ask that you hear us out and do not attempt to harm us until this is all over."

Both the young Turk and SOLDIER looked at each other a moment for strength before the black-haired man continued.

"We don't know."

The two seated men stared blankly at the ones standing before them. Had they really just said they didn't know? Surely that was not their answer…At the look they were receiving, Zack quickly elaborated. He had the feeling that answer wouldn't be accepted...

"We don't know why we did it. We went over it a hundred times afterwards, and neither of us can understand what there was to gain by kidnapping either of you. If anything, all it did was cause us more trouble. We're not cut out for head-honcho. We're better off passing on the orders than dishing them out ourselves…"

Another click on the remote revealed a slide that made both General and Head Turk choke.

It would seem that the two subordinates had cannibalized the company photo records and had clipped each of their faces out and pasted them onto crudely drawn stick figures, each one drawn holding the hand of the next. First was Zack, who held onto Seph who held on to Tseng who in turn held onto Reno. It was quite demented in everyones' opinion, and both Superiors made a mental note to destroy that particular slide.

"In the end though." Reno started this time.

"We love you guys, and you both know, deep down in your small, black, withering hearts, that no one else could do what we do. While we annoy you to no end, we're the only ones you let annoy you. Like it or not, over the years you have grown to like, and dare I say it: even love us. Besides, you know that it would be taxing to train a replacement for either of us. We know everything there is to know about you as our boss, do you really want to start over with some new face?"

Zack stepped in, placing his hand on Reno's shoulder.

"What we are trying to say is: Please. Please forgive us. We're sorry for everything that we did. We didn't mean anything that happened, and we certainly didn't mean to sabotage your friendship. Everything fell into prospective for us when we thought Hojo had butchered you --"

A quick elbow in the side from Reno derailed the SOLDIER's train of thought and had him clearing his throat.

"I mean, yea. We're sorry. Please give us another chance. Keep us around…We'll be good, promise."

Both boys smiled sheepishly at their bosses. Now that their presentation was over, their confidence was dropping and nervousness was definitely setting in. Their confidence continued to falter as Tseng and Sephiroth leaned into each other, muttering softly before standing and walking towards the door.

Opening the door, Sephiroth paused when Zack's hand touched his shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

Sephiroth smirked down at his hesitant Second.

"To file the cruelest, most explicitly detailed disciplinary report this company has ever seen."

Zack's eyes widened.

"But! But-"

"Don't talk to me, Zackary. I am merely handling Sinclair's report. Any issues you have will be taken up with Tseng. He is writing yours."

The door slid closed as the two Superior Officers exited the room, leaving behind two very pale, gaping men. The two stood in silence for a few moments, just imagining the punishment, before a slow smile spread over Reno's face.

"That was a damn good presentation we put together, 'Mr. Fair.'"

Zack's smile quickly prevailed over his worried frown.

"And props to you, as well, Mr. Sinclair! Excellent work with the pointer. Though don't think I didn't see you trip after the lights went off."

Reno rolled his eyes, grumbling something about 'freaky-ass SOLDIER eyes.'

"So…" Zack looked at Reno again.

"You think they're going to kill us, or just demote our asses all the way to hell? I can see it now…Lackey Sinclair and Grunt Fair, the unstoppable duo! Toilets beware; when these guys get bathroom duty, they mean business."

Reno laughed slightly, hoping against hope that wouldn't be the case.

"Nah. Like we said, they don't wanna deal with some new face. They enjoy us, whether that admit it or not. We may get a light slap on the wrist but that'll be it. We're in too good with 'em."

Zack nodded fondly as the two began to clean up their belongings.

"As long as we return this projector to Tseng, I believe you are right, dear friend."

fffffffffffffffffffff

Sephiroth and Tseng stood in the General's office, looking down at the reports they had just filed, as well as the disciplinary action they had chosen.

Tseng looked up at his friend with mirth in his eyes.

"Should we tell them now, or…"

"No." Sephiroth shook his head. "We'll let them find out."

Tseng nodded and turned towards the door.

"Well I've got to go check on Rufus, as well as meet with Valentine. I'll see you at lunch."

Sephiroth nodded and dipped his head slightly. As Tseng left he settled himself into his chair. He had a few phone calls to make.

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Author's Note:

Waaaa!!! I'm so sad! I'm happy that I have one less thing to finish, but...I MISS IT ALREADY! pouts Oh well. As long as you guys enjoyed it, it's okay. I am not sure how I feel about this particular chapter being my last one...it probably just feels funny to be DONE without the story actually being..DONE.

Well...Now it's TooLittleTooLate's final turn, and then it will all be over. I, personally, can't wait to see what happens (we don't tell each other jack..)! Thanks for reading!