Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, only those that I created
myself. Please do not harm me in any way. I only do this for fun.
A/N's: I am completely overwhelmed with the reviews from the last chapter. 23 from Aff.net and an amazing 45 at ff.net alone. The responses have been incredible. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support they mean so much to an amateur writer. Much love to you all. Now, on to the next chapter. Not much in this one, but the next will be good.
A Secret worth Keeping
Chapter twenty-two: Musing and a confrontation
It was getting late. Hermione sat in her rocker, holding Sebastian against her chest as they rocked. Outside, the sun was just starting to sink in the evening sky. Her son had just finished nursing but seemed to refuse to close his eyes to sleep. To Hermione, he seemed to want to see his father before sleeping for the night. She could relate to that. She wanted to seem him before she fell to sleep as well.
She was worried.
It was around four o'clock when the trio had left Diagon Alley via the floo at The Leaky Cauldron with all their purchases. However, Hermione was quite aware that Severus hadn't accompanied them. She hadn't heard or seen him since he took off after the Malfoys. To say that she was fretting was an understatement.
Harry and Ron had volunteered to go back and try to track them down, but she'd vetoed that idea immediately. If something had happen to Severus, she didn't want her best friends stepping into the same trap.
Sebastian flung up a small fist, which she took in her hand and gazed down at her tiny infant son. His eyes were as dark as his father's, and even in his tender years she could see the intelligence lurking there. This child, with the intelligence of both his father and his mother, had a future that wouldn't leave him wanting. If he had any of Severus' diligence and sense of stick-to-itness and her loyalty and bravery, then he could do anything he set his mind to. Yes, Her and Severus's child would be great, brave, strong and loyal to the good side. She would make sure of that. Her son will not be led into the darkness. Severus himself would see to that.
She closed her eyes, leaning back into the cool wooden surface of the rocker, letting her thoughts go where they would. In her mind's eye she could actually see she and Severus growing old together and watching their children growing up. Children that would only be sired by Severus, because she didn't think that she could ever let anyone else touch her. It was scary enough just thinking about giving herself willingly to him. Her one and only experience, she was sure, had scarred her for life, and letting him have her again in that fashion scared her. She knew the fear was mainly in her mind. The memory of the pain, the realization that it was Snape raping her and the horrid humiliation of Malfoy watching the whole evil act was enough to terrify anyone. She had reason to fear sex. But would it be mere sex with Severus now? She had heard that sex and making love were two completely different acts.
If it had been just she and Severus at that time, with no Malfoy, perhaps it would have ended up differently. Severus did state that he had been going to tell her the truth that evening. Perhaps she would have given herself to him willingly then.
But fate did have a different agenda in mind that evening.
Would things have been different then? Would she have had Sebastian in her life if things had occurred differently?
She shivered and held Sebastian closer to her chest in a protective gesture. Her son meant the world to her now. No matter how he was conceived, she and Severus loved him. But, if she had let Severus make love to her, and she had conceived, would she have been brave enough to risk exposing Severus and her relationship to have the baby?
She didn't think so.
She opened her eyes to see Sebastian staring up at her, seemingly knowing what his mother was thinking.
"It was a good thing then, wasn't it my Angel? If that night never had happened then I wouldn't have you." Her words were barely a whisper and she leaned down to kiss the downy black fuzz that covered his head.
Sebastian kicked his tiny feet in delight.
Giggling, she stood up and walked to the window to watch the sun setting. The clock stated that it was almost seven thirty. Three hours past the last time she felt Severus's presence, three hours that she had been dreading, worrying about his safety. With Sebastian clutched to her chest she watched the road winding out to the gates which divided the safety of Hogwart's to that that which lay beyond, watching for a sign of Severus's safe return.
Her fears were unfounded. She knew that. Malfoy senior was supposed to be Severus's friend, but that didn't stop her from worrying. Some friendships turned out volatile and ended up with savage consequences.
What if Malfoy senior discovered Snape's alliance with the Order? In her heart, she feared that she would never see him again and that feeling brought tears to her eyes. "Please come home to me, Severus.... " She pleaded to him, knowing that he wasn't anywhere nearby and couldn't hear her plea. "I'm not willing to give you up.... not now." Not when she thought that she was beginning to have such strong feelings towards him. Maybe it was love. She didn't know. After all, she had never been in love before. If it was love
"Hermione?"
She whirled around at the voice coming from the hearth. Automatically dismissing her train of thought, she quickly moved from the window and approached the fireplace in order to see Albus's head floating in the flames.
"Professor?"
"Can you come to my office? There is a matter of importance we need to discuss."
Hermione glanced down at Sebastian before meeting the Headmaster's eyes again.
"I shall have to bring Sebastian. I don't have anyone here to watch him. Ron and Harry have gone off somewhere
"They have both been contacted and are heading here as well. Bring Sebastian. I am sure we can find someone willing to watch him while we have this conference."
"Yes sir." She nodded and turned from the flames. "I just need to get him dressed first. Give us fifteen minutes."
"That will do. We will see you soon then." Albus nodded solemnly as his head disappeared.
Hermione's heart was fluttering. Why would Dumbledore be summoning her, Ron and Harry? Perhaps he had word about Severus. Perhaps something had happened.
She quickly dressed the wriggling baby and wrapped him securely into his familiar blue blanket. The same blanket she had originally bought at the thrift store after she had been released from the hospital. Funny how that seemed like years ago, when it was only a few short weeks. Her life had taken a dramatic change since then. Writing those letters to Dumbledore was the best idea she had ever had. Now, she had a life that was worth living. A life with both her son and the one man that she felt herself falling for. Severus Snape. The same Severus Snape she'd hated for the longest time. The same Severus Snape that had ridiculed her and deemed her worthless for so long. And the same Severus Snape that loved her with every since of his being.
The same Severus Snape that was worrying her into tears fearing for his safety.
Slipping quickly into her shoes and tossing a robe over her shoulders, she exited the dungeon nursery and hurried up the winding stairs to Dumbledore's office. Sebastian safely cradled in her arms within the folds of the warm cloak.
At the base of the stairwell leading up to his office, she couldn't help but smile as the stone gargoyle gave one look at the baby in her arms and grinned toothily. It waggled its stone ears at the baby, eliciting a happy gurgling sound from Sebastian.
"Baby Ruth." She stated the password and the gargoyle nodded slowly, wiggled his ear once more to the baby, and swung aside to allow the entrance to emerge.
Hermione said her thanks and ascended the stairs.
Loud angry voices caught her attention as she paused at the door to shuffle Sebastian into a more comfortable position before opening the door and stepping in. She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes caught Severus's standing next to Albus's desk. So happy to see him, she immediately ran into his arms.
"Severus! I was so worried. I
His arms hugged her for only a moment before they released her and turned her around.
"Not now, Miss Granger, we have business to attend to."
Her eyes grew wide as she stared at the group before her. Harry and Ron had their wands pulled and pointed to Draco and Zabini, who in turn had their wands drawn and pointed. All around the room there were Slytherins standing at the ready.
"Oh shit." She whispered, holding her baby tighter.
Acknowledgments:
someone28, mssudie, Azulkan2, Ariana Althena Evergreen, Rosmerta, Embers, Katze, astarael, long-waytogo, Josie, theophania, Sonia, Moony182, Akasha Ravensong, Hidden in Shadows, fleria, RebelRikki, Rycca W, Jubilli, ziggie1836, baboon, Anarane Anwamane and Heartnut:
Thank you! I'm glad you all liked the chapter! I am overwhelmed by the amount of reviews I received for this one. More is on the way soon. I promise!
Keket Amunet, JustJeanette, Eth : I'm glad that you all didn't see R.A.T. coming. Means I've done my job properly. Heh heh.
Ana Morales, Jazzylady dracodolenz and Fridwulfa: I too, like a semi-good Draco. I don't like it when he's TOO out of character, but I do like it when he shows SOME compassion. This is my side of him. I'm glad that you all like it. I figured, what the hell, may as well bring along the rest of his group as I go.
Magdellin: Funny. I seem to never be able to rid myself of those 'nasty grammar issues' I have a journalist friend go over this before I post and I still miss them. Oh well, I'm glad that you are still enjoying this story, Hon. I hope you get that comp issue fixed.
Astrid: Thank you. I had hoped that R.A.T. was original. As someone pointed out at AFF. It's another form of the DA only from the Slytherin's side. I thought that was cool. If JK wants the idea, she is welcome to it...LOL
Emma-Kitty: Poetic justice. I love that. I hope that things work out for you. I am here if you need an extra ear. Much love.
Sara D: Woo hoo. I'm glad you got good grades. I don't feel so bad about you reading this then. LOL. You got the gist of the story so far. Draco is on the right side.
JeanB: I am glad that you like the R.A.T.s. Thanks. I know that it was harsh of her parents to wash their hands of her so surely, but in order for this story to work, they had to be that way. I haven't decided where they will end up in the story, but I'm sure I'll find out when I get there.
Fleria: Ah...I think all of your questions will be answered, if not in this chapter, then the next. Just keep reading.
elvenprincess1313: Oh, I don't consider her review a 'bad' review. I just admit that she had a different view of what I wrote. That didn't bother me. I can take criticism if it's in a way that isn't cruel. She was very purposeful in her thoughts and had a valid point. I just disagreed with her. So, no harm done really, but thank you for your defense. I truly appreciate it.
Kirsta: You have no idea how overwhelmed I am with all the reviews I have somehow garnered for this little story. And believe it or not, I almost didn't post the first chapter. I just did it as a kind of short (very short) story. Just something to see what I could get out of a boring day. I am soooo surprised that it has gotten to be so popular. Shocked would be more like it. But then again, I have a very interesting and vivid imagination. I hope I will continue to intrigue you with my work. Blessed be to you and yours.
AltoSaxyGal: I think it was about time that someone wrote of the GOOD side of those kids.
Tracy3: R.A.T. stands for Revolutionaries Against Tyranny. Draco's future relationship to Sebastian is yet to be determined.
Tubin: Thanks for the review. I know I have a bit of a softer side of Severus here, but he has yet to confront Lucius over what had happened in the past. Look for the 'OLD' Severus to show himself once more...soon. I also thank you for seeing my version of the Slytherins. I'm glad that it is being taken as I have been writing them.
Lilmamaday: Friends always stick up for friends. Severus and Lucius will lock horns soon.
JosieBelle: Aww. I hope you gave her the addy. LOL. The R.A.T. acronym is actually in the story. It means Revolutionaries Against Tyranny. The leadership of R.A.T is yet to be determined, but more than likely it will be Draco, Zabini and Marcus.
Maddy-Riddle: There will be much discovered in the next few chapters. Hope they will be worth waiting for.
aragornluver821: LOL. Why does everyone want a battle between Harry and Severus? Hehe...I'll just have to see what I can do for you.
Killer Angel: The junior Death eaters have their own agenda. You will see later.
Bless be to you all
Red
A/N's: I am completely overwhelmed with the reviews from the last chapter. 23 from Aff.net and an amazing 45 at ff.net alone. The responses have been incredible. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support they mean so much to an amateur writer. Much love to you all. Now, on to the next chapter. Not much in this one, but the next will be good.
A Secret worth Keeping
Chapter twenty-two: Musing and a confrontation
It was getting late. Hermione sat in her rocker, holding Sebastian against her chest as they rocked. Outside, the sun was just starting to sink in the evening sky. Her son had just finished nursing but seemed to refuse to close his eyes to sleep. To Hermione, he seemed to want to see his father before sleeping for the night. She could relate to that. She wanted to seem him before she fell to sleep as well.
She was worried.
It was around four o'clock when the trio had left Diagon Alley via the floo at The Leaky Cauldron with all their purchases. However, Hermione was quite aware that Severus hadn't accompanied them. She hadn't heard or seen him since he took off after the Malfoys. To say that she was fretting was an understatement.
Harry and Ron had volunteered to go back and try to track them down, but she'd vetoed that idea immediately. If something had happen to Severus, she didn't want her best friends stepping into the same trap.
Sebastian flung up a small fist, which she took in her hand and gazed down at her tiny infant son. His eyes were as dark as his father's, and even in his tender years she could see the intelligence lurking there. This child, with the intelligence of both his father and his mother, had a future that wouldn't leave him wanting. If he had any of Severus' diligence and sense of stick-to-itness and her loyalty and bravery, then he could do anything he set his mind to. Yes, Her and Severus's child would be great, brave, strong and loyal to the good side. She would make sure of that. Her son will not be led into the darkness. Severus himself would see to that.
She closed her eyes, leaning back into the cool wooden surface of the rocker, letting her thoughts go where they would. In her mind's eye she could actually see she and Severus growing old together and watching their children growing up. Children that would only be sired by Severus, because she didn't think that she could ever let anyone else touch her. It was scary enough just thinking about giving herself willingly to him. Her one and only experience, she was sure, had scarred her for life, and letting him have her again in that fashion scared her. She knew the fear was mainly in her mind. The memory of the pain, the realization that it was Snape raping her and the horrid humiliation of Malfoy watching the whole evil act was enough to terrify anyone. She had reason to fear sex. But would it be mere sex with Severus now? She had heard that sex and making love were two completely different acts.
If it had been just she and Severus at that time, with no Malfoy, perhaps it would have ended up differently. Severus did state that he had been going to tell her the truth that evening. Perhaps she would have given herself to him willingly then.
But fate did have a different agenda in mind that evening.
Would things have been different then? Would she have had Sebastian in her life if things had occurred differently?
She shivered and held Sebastian closer to her chest in a protective gesture. Her son meant the world to her now. No matter how he was conceived, she and Severus loved him. But, if she had let Severus make love to her, and she had conceived, would she have been brave enough to risk exposing Severus and her relationship to have the baby?
She didn't think so.
She opened her eyes to see Sebastian staring up at her, seemingly knowing what his mother was thinking.
"It was a good thing then, wasn't it my Angel? If that night never had happened then I wouldn't have you." Her words were barely a whisper and she leaned down to kiss the downy black fuzz that covered his head.
Sebastian kicked his tiny feet in delight.
Giggling, she stood up and walked to the window to watch the sun setting. The clock stated that it was almost seven thirty. Three hours past the last time she felt Severus's presence, three hours that she had been dreading, worrying about his safety. With Sebastian clutched to her chest she watched the road winding out to the gates which divided the safety of Hogwart's to that that which lay beyond, watching for a sign of Severus's safe return.
Her fears were unfounded. She knew that. Malfoy senior was supposed to be Severus's friend, but that didn't stop her from worrying. Some friendships turned out volatile and ended up with savage consequences.
What if Malfoy senior discovered Snape's alliance with the Order? In her heart, she feared that she would never see him again and that feeling brought tears to her eyes. "Please come home to me, Severus.... " She pleaded to him, knowing that he wasn't anywhere nearby and couldn't hear her plea. "I'm not willing to give you up.... not now." Not when she thought that she was beginning to have such strong feelings towards him. Maybe it was love. She didn't know. After all, she had never been in love before. If it was love
"Hermione?"
She whirled around at the voice coming from the hearth. Automatically dismissing her train of thought, she quickly moved from the window and approached the fireplace in order to see Albus's head floating in the flames.
"Professor?"
"Can you come to my office? There is a matter of importance we need to discuss."
Hermione glanced down at Sebastian before meeting the Headmaster's eyes again.
"I shall have to bring Sebastian. I don't have anyone here to watch him. Ron and Harry have gone off somewhere
"They have both been contacted and are heading here as well. Bring Sebastian. I am sure we can find someone willing to watch him while we have this conference."
"Yes sir." She nodded and turned from the flames. "I just need to get him dressed first. Give us fifteen minutes."
"That will do. We will see you soon then." Albus nodded solemnly as his head disappeared.
Hermione's heart was fluttering. Why would Dumbledore be summoning her, Ron and Harry? Perhaps he had word about Severus. Perhaps something had happened.
She quickly dressed the wriggling baby and wrapped him securely into his familiar blue blanket. The same blanket she had originally bought at the thrift store after she had been released from the hospital. Funny how that seemed like years ago, when it was only a few short weeks. Her life had taken a dramatic change since then. Writing those letters to Dumbledore was the best idea she had ever had. Now, she had a life that was worth living. A life with both her son and the one man that she felt herself falling for. Severus Snape. The same Severus Snape she'd hated for the longest time. The same Severus Snape that had ridiculed her and deemed her worthless for so long. And the same Severus Snape that loved her with every since of his being.
The same Severus Snape that was worrying her into tears fearing for his safety.
Slipping quickly into her shoes and tossing a robe over her shoulders, she exited the dungeon nursery and hurried up the winding stairs to Dumbledore's office. Sebastian safely cradled in her arms within the folds of the warm cloak.
At the base of the stairwell leading up to his office, she couldn't help but smile as the stone gargoyle gave one look at the baby in her arms and grinned toothily. It waggled its stone ears at the baby, eliciting a happy gurgling sound from Sebastian.
"Baby Ruth." She stated the password and the gargoyle nodded slowly, wiggled his ear once more to the baby, and swung aside to allow the entrance to emerge.
Hermione said her thanks and ascended the stairs.
Loud angry voices caught her attention as she paused at the door to shuffle Sebastian into a more comfortable position before opening the door and stepping in. She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes caught Severus's standing next to Albus's desk. So happy to see him, she immediately ran into his arms.
"Severus! I was so worried. I
His arms hugged her for only a moment before they released her and turned her around.
"Not now, Miss Granger, we have business to attend to."
Her eyes grew wide as she stared at the group before her. Harry and Ron had their wands pulled and pointed to Draco and Zabini, who in turn had their wands drawn and pointed. All around the room there were Slytherins standing at the ready.
"Oh shit." She whispered, holding her baby tighter.
Acknowledgments:
someone28, mssudie, Azulkan2, Ariana Althena Evergreen, Rosmerta, Embers, Katze, astarael, long-waytogo, Josie, theophania, Sonia, Moony182, Akasha Ravensong, Hidden in Shadows, fleria, RebelRikki, Rycca W, Jubilli, ziggie1836, baboon, Anarane Anwamane and Heartnut:
Thank you! I'm glad you all liked the chapter! I am overwhelmed by the amount of reviews I received for this one. More is on the way soon. I promise!
Keket Amunet, JustJeanette, Eth : I'm glad that you all didn't see R.A.T. coming. Means I've done my job properly. Heh heh.
Ana Morales, Jazzylady dracodolenz and Fridwulfa: I too, like a semi-good Draco. I don't like it when he's TOO out of character, but I do like it when he shows SOME compassion. This is my side of him. I'm glad that you all like it. I figured, what the hell, may as well bring along the rest of his group as I go.
Magdellin: Funny. I seem to never be able to rid myself of those 'nasty grammar issues' I have a journalist friend go over this before I post and I still miss them. Oh well, I'm glad that you are still enjoying this story, Hon. I hope you get that comp issue fixed.
Astrid: Thank you. I had hoped that R.A.T. was original. As someone pointed out at AFF. It's another form of the DA only from the Slytherin's side. I thought that was cool. If JK wants the idea, she is welcome to it...LOL
Emma-Kitty: Poetic justice. I love that. I hope that things work out for you. I am here if you need an extra ear. Much love.
Sara D: Woo hoo. I'm glad you got good grades. I don't feel so bad about you reading this then. LOL. You got the gist of the story so far. Draco is on the right side.
JeanB: I am glad that you like the R.A.T.s. Thanks. I know that it was harsh of her parents to wash their hands of her so surely, but in order for this story to work, they had to be that way. I haven't decided where they will end up in the story, but I'm sure I'll find out when I get there.
Fleria: Ah...I think all of your questions will be answered, if not in this chapter, then the next. Just keep reading.
elvenprincess1313: Oh, I don't consider her review a 'bad' review. I just admit that she had a different view of what I wrote. That didn't bother me. I can take criticism if it's in a way that isn't cruel. She was very purposeful in her thoughts and had a valid point. I just disagreed with her. So, no harm done really, but thank you for your defense. I truly appreciate it.
Kirsta: You have no idea how overwhelmed I am with all the reviews I have somehow garnered for this little story. And believe it or not, I almost didn't post the first chapter. I just did it as a kind of short (very short) story. Just something to see what I could get out of a boring day. I am soooo surprised that it has gotten to be so popular. Shocked would be more like it. But then again, I have a very interesting and vivid imagination. I hope I will continue to intrigue you with my work. Blessed be to you and yours.
AltoSaxyGal: I think it was about time that someone wrote of the GOOD side of those kids.
Tracy3: R.A.T. stands for Revolutionaries Against Tyranny. Draco's future relationship to Sebastian is yet to be determined.
Tubin: Thanks for the review. I know I have a bit of a softer side of Severus here, but he has yet to confront Lucius over what had happened in the past. Look for the 'OLD' Severus to show himself once more...soon. I also thank you for seeing my version of the Slytherins. I'm glad that it is being taken as I have been writing them.
Lilmamaday: Friends always stick up for friends. Severus and Lucius will lock horns soon.
JosieBelle: Aww. I hope you gave her the addy. LOL. The R.A.T. acronym is actually in the story. It means Revolutionaries Against Tyranny. The leadership of R.A.T is yet to be determined, but more than likely it will be Draco, Zabini and Marcus.
Maddy-Riddle: There will be much discovered in the next few chapters. Hope they will be worth waiting for.
aragornluver821: LOL. Why does everyone want a battle between Harry and Severus? Hehe...I'll just have to see what I can do for you.
Killer Angel: The junior Death eaters have their own agenda. You will see later.
Bless be to you all
Red