Sparks
Official Disclaimer: The Transformers ain't mine.
Author's Note: Ok, in my defense, I've had to read over depressing classic Russian literature for the past several days. Don't ask why, it's complicated (it's part of my job - and no, don't ask what that is, that's even more complicated), but that's my excuse for the last chapter and this one. Also my excuse for any sudden pretentious-sounding writing. How these Russian writers can be both depressing and pretentious at the same time, I have no idea...but they use truly demented grammar, and it's making me have twitch attacks. But yeah, sorry for the delay in this chapter - I was having a bit of trouble with it. I'm still not entirely happy with it, but it will do.
- Chapter Eleven: Ghosts and the Allspark -
Three days after Optimus' death, Alex stood somberly on a platform in a large room, surrounded by just about every other human that had dealings with the Autobots. The secretary of defense was a few feet to her left, and the President beyond him, along with every member of Will and Bobby's team. The platform they stood on was a good eighteen feet above the actual floor of the room, bringing them about level with the shoulders of most of the Autobots. The Autobots themselves, save for Ironhide and Bumblebee, stood around the room like sentries guarding the two concrete slabs that were the only features of the room besides the platform and lights. On one concrete slab, only vaguely visible through a semi-transparent cover, were the humanoid remains of a smallish silver Autobot.
On the other slab was an ever growing pile of parts, mostly dull steel and black in color, but a few large pieces showing the bright red and blue colors of the Autobot they'd come from. Another semi-transparent cover rested beside that slab, waiting for Ironhide to bring the last of the parts. As Alex watched, Ironhide rolled into the room, followed by the transformed Bumblebee, who took up station by the door while Cliffjumper transferred Ironhide's cargo to the concrete slab. When his truck bed was empty, Ironhide transformed, and he and Cliffjumper stepped back to make room for Ratchet and Wheeljack, who lifted the cover and secured it to the slab of concrete before returning to their own places. All the Autobots' heads bowed, their optics dimming, and the humans knew it was time for them to leave the room and its grieving occupants. They filed out silently. Alex, the last to leave, shut the door to the platform with a quiet click.
People milled around in the corridor outside for a bit - the President and Secretary of Defense, of course, had to go almost immediately, though the President did stop to speak to Alex. She couldn't reply, since her vocal chords were still a mess, but she could nod. Afterwards, she had no idea what he'd said to her, had only a vague impression that he'd talked to her. She'd been calm, seeming unaffected by Optimus death, right up until today, but it seemed the funeral - or whatever one wanted to call it - had finally made her realize that everything was not alright. Alex moved now liked she was in a dream - she had a curious state of detachment from everything. When she lifted her arms to hug her sister, it felt like she hadn't told the limbs to move, and the sensation of skin on cloth was dulled, fuzzy almost, like a memory.
Alex walked through the dream-like haze as the people closest to the Autobots, the one that lived with them and drove them to the store and around their home cities or towns like normal vehicles, gathered in a small meeting room not far from the memorial room where they'd left the Autobots, living and dead. She was aware of the conversations going on around her, but couldn't bring herself to pay attention to any of them, instead grabbing a chair and dragging it into a corner of the room and sitting. She couldn't talk anyways, so she was left alone, with only the occasional worried person coming over to make sure she was alright. She smiled at them, and nodded towards her legs. They should have hurt after standing for that long, Alex knew - she was still recovering from her rapid stair climb when she'd had the Matrix inside of her - and people accepted the excuse without question, but Alex felt only a vaguely itchy feeling from them.
Sitting alone in the corner, lost in thought, it didn't surprise Alex that she fell asleep, she was just surprised that she didn't notice it happen. She only noticed she was asleep when she realized the blackness around her was being stripped away by the swift-moving lines to reveal the silver desert of the Autobot virtual communications environment. Feeling almost more awake now than when she'd actually been awake, Alex stepped forward with a frown, waiting for Autobots to appear - but none did.
At first.
Alex had made her way to the lone rock in the landscape, which she'd seen Ironhide sitting on that one night, when something in her peripheral vision caught her attention, and she whirled. She gaped, her head tilting back as she looked up, hardly able to comprehend what she was seeing. Then reality came crashing down on her, so to speak, and she staggered back along the virtual landscape.
"You - you're dead!" she stammered to the Autobot before her. With agonizing slowness, Optimus' head turned towards her. Cybertronian words flowed around her, and she shook her head mutely. There was more movement, behind Optimus, and her eyes flicked away from the dead Autobot to find another one fading in - she wouldn't have recognized him, save for the fact that she'd just seen his body a little while ago. "Jazz..." The silver Autobot turned his head towards her with the same agonizing slowness as Optimus.
Cybertronian floated through the air again, and Alex couldn't tell for the life of her if it was Optimus or Jazz that had spoken. She shook her head again, and then her eyes widened as, behind Optimus and Jazz, an entire army of Autobots appeared. Someone, or maybe all of them, spoke in Cybertronian, and the mechanical language filled the landscape, growing louder, ever louder, until Alex could feel it in her bones. Then, suddenly, it changed in pitch, and Alex clapped her hands over her ears as the piercing sound dug into her skull. The piercing sound grew even sharper, even louder. Alex felt herself scream, and then the landscape and dead Autobots disappeared in a burst of white light.
When her vision cleared, Alex found herself walking down a corridor in the dam, headed for the memorial room holding Optimus and Jazz's remains.
She tried to stop.
And couldn't.
---
Beth was worried about her sister - Alex had seemed normal, almost cheerful, when she'd greeted Beth at the airport. She'd even made a joke about Beth missing Cliffjumper for less than pure reasons. It was - well, it wasn't like how Alex had dealt with their dad's death. She'd gotten angry when their father had died, and then one day had just broken down, and Beth had helped pick up the pieces. But now - Alex didn't even seem to be grieving. Beth had some hope after the funeral, when Alex seemed a bit...detached, like it was finally hitting her that Optimus was dead, and she was withdrawing to deal. Even though it hurt that her sister wouldn't come to her, Beth was happy that Alex was finally dealing, at least. Then it had disappeared. Beth had been tense, watching her sister in the corner of the meeting room, looking for any sign of the collapse she thought would follow the numbness - but it hadn't come. Instead, Alex had suddenly stood, her eyes snapping open, and surveyed the room coolly before stalking out.
Beth had stayed still out of shock, at first, but now she was outside, trying to find her sister. She heard a commotion farther down the hall, around a corner, and went to investigate. She paused as she rounded the corner, coming into one of the rooms large enough to accommodate Autobots, and it took her a moment to find and focus on the commotion. Two army privates were holding her sister back by her arms as she steadfastly tried to get past them, to the human-sized floor-level door to the Autobots' memorial room. Alex wasn't saying anything, wasn't giving any reason, but then, she couldn't, not with her vocal chords temporarily ruined from having spoken Cybertronian. Beth decided to step forward and see if she could help, and she slipped around the privates so she could look her sister in the face.
Either they knew who she was, or didn't care because they were too busy with Alex, because neither of the privates said a thing to her, instead calling on their radios for Doctor Adair and some backup. Beth couldn't help but smile a bit at the fact that they needed backup to deal with her sister, and then turned her attention to the woman in question - and gasped. Alex's eyes were a bright, clear blue, and almost seemed to be glowing.
Thinking back franticly over what Ratchet and Cliffjumper had told her about her sister's condition, Beth realized that this meant the Allspark energy inside Alex was active. She was probably talking to the Autobots, actually - and since they were all inside the room Alex was trying to get into, maybe restraining her was unnecessary.
"Alex, do the Autobots want you to go in there?" Beth asked, just to be sure. Alex showed no sign of having heard, just as two more privates came jogging down the corridor and to help their fellows. Doctor Adair wasn't far behind.
"What's happening?" the doctor asked the group in general.
"I don't know, Doctor. She just came down here and pushed past us, then tried the door. She got angry when she couldn't get in, and we had to restrain her." one of the first privates, who would have been guarding the door before Alex showed up, replied.
"Her eyes are blue." Beth put in.
"What?" Adair said with a frown, slipping past the airmen to get a look at Alex. "Hmm." the doctor waved a hand in front of Alex's eyes, which went completely unacknowledged, save for a blink. "I take it you tried to talk to her?"
"She didn't even seem to hear." Beth confirmed.
"Hmmm, like when she had the Matrix inside of her. But she can't have anything else in her - I checked her readings after she handed the Matrix off to Bumblebee, she was normal." Adair said with a frown, and then started digging around in her pockets, finally coming up with a portable recorder. "Thank goodness I had the forethought to have Ratchet record this for me after the Matrix thing." Adair pressed the play button on the recorder, and screeching metallic sounds emerged - Cybertronian. Alex visibly slowed in her struggles.
"What's it saying?" Beth asked in an undertone to Adair.
"To calm down, that we mean no harm, and that if she'll just come with us we'll get an Autobot for her. I meant it to be used if we somehow found an Autobot that couldn't communicate, but it works for this." Adair replied quietly.
"If they couldn't communicate, how were you going to know they were an Autobot and not a Decepticon?" Beth asked with a frown.
"A Decepticon would just start shooting things instead of paying attention to the little flesh-creatures." Adair replied wryly, and Beth nodded as the flow of Cybertronian stopped. Alex had stopped completely now, and was standing passively between the two privates, looking calmly at Adair. Motioning with her hand, Adair took a few steps down the corridor, and Alex arched an eyebrow, glancing back at the door, before following. Beth followed after, along with the two privates that had come as backup.
"When the Autobots emerge, let me know." Adair called back to the privates guarding the door, and one of them saluted in response before resuming guard duty. Unsurprisingly, Adair led Alex and the rest of them to the infirmary. The two privates following them took up stations outside while the three women went inside. Adair managed to get Alex up on one of the medical bays, though Alex was now frowning, looking suspicious.
"Why don't you try and talk to her again?" Adair suggested to Beth. "I'm going to run a few passive tests." Beth nodded, heading over to the bed.
"Hey Alex. Can you understand me?" she asked. She received a flat look from her sister, and winced, looking away. Her gaze settled on the pad of paper and pen that Alex had been using to communicate, and she scooped them up and handed them to her sister, who took them with a puzzled look. It took several minutes for Beth to get across to her sister was she was supposed to do with the paper and pen, which was odd, but then Alex set to with gusto - and wrote in Cybertronian. Beth sighed as her sister filled four pages with the alien writing before handing it back expectantly.
"Adair." Beth said, getting the doctor's attention, and when she had it, she held up the pad of paper. Adair shook her head.
"I thought as much." she said. "I know they need to grieve, but I hope the Autobots hurry up. They're the only ones in the world - save for Decepticons and, apparently, Alex - who will be able to understand that." As if on cue, Adair's phone rang, and when she picked it up, her eyes slid over to Alex as she listened.
"Take that pad down to the Autobots' exit from the memorial room - they finally came out, and one of the privates spoke to them." Adair said once she hung up. "We'll figure out what to do next after they've translated it." Beth nodded, and then headed out the door as Adair began speaking to Alex. Beth made her way quickly back down to the Autobot entrance to the memorial room, finding all the Autobots waiting there, most of them seeming concerned or curious. Their human friends were gathered to one side, as well, and greeted Beth with curious questions as she entered. She ignored them, however - it was the Autobots' attention she wanted. Fortunately, they noticed her almost as soon as she entered the room, and after seeing that she wasn't going to respond to the humans, Cliffjumper stepped over and kneeled in front of Beth.
"What's this about Alex?" he asked, and in response, Beth held up the pad of paper. Cliffjumper frowned, carefully taking it from her, and then stood as he looked intently at the writing on it. "Where did you get this?" he asked after he'd gone through all four pages. Ratchet and Bumblebee had since joined him in his reading.
"Alex just wrote it." Beth replied, and would have continued, but the Autobots began speaking amongst themselves in Cybertronian. Beth found it rather rude, and was about to interrupt and say so when the conversation abruptly stopped and Cliffjumper kneeled again, handing her back the pad of paper.
"Where is Alex now?" he asked.
"In the infirmary - Doctor Adair took her there after she tried to get into the memorial room where you guys where." Beth said.
"You must bring her here." Cliffjumper said seriously.
"Why?" Beth asked with a frown. "What did she write?"
"It's...complicated. For now, you must trust us. Bring Alex here." Cliffjumper said. Beth frowned at him for a moment, but suspected she wouldn't get any more out of him, so she turned and headed back the way she'd come. Will and Mikaela followed her after a moment, but didn't ask questions.
"The Autobots want us to bring Alex to them." Beth said upon returning to the infirmary. Then she blinked, realizing the place was in much more of an uproar than when she'd left it. Adair hurried by, and Beth grabbed her arm, halting the doctor for a moment. "What's going on?"
"Alex is saturated with Allspark radiation - she's still not radioactive, but the radiation is having negative effects on her body even as it's healing itself afterwards. I don't know how long it will stay that way, though." Adair snapped, then pulled her arm out of Beth's grasp and continued to Alex's bedside. Alex herself could not be seen due to the sheer number of Adair's nurses and fellow doctors that were surrounding the bed. "So you can tell the Autobots to stuff it." Beth paused.
"Can I -" she was cut short as Adair and several of her medical staff began moving a glaring, restrained Alex to a room off of the infirmary. Beth caught a glimpse of several large machines before the doors to the room swung closed. "- talk to my sister who happens to be the only living relative I have who knows who I am, save for a few stuck-up cousins living in New York?" Beth finished dryly.
"I could..." Will trailed off in his offer, waving vaguely in the direction Adair and her fellows had taken Alex. Beth shook her head.
"No, don't bother." she said. "I think it's time to find out exactly what Alex wrote on that pad of paper."
"I'll stay here, in case there's any sort of change." Mikaela offered. "Sam can fill me in later." Beth nodded a curt thanks, and then she and Will set off.
"Where is Alex?" Ratchet asked as soon as the two of them returned.
"Apparently dying from Allspark radiation even as it's healing her." Beth snapped in reply. "I think it's time to explain what's going on." Ratchet sighed, and then glanced at Cliffjumper, who kneeled next to Beth again.
"Beth, Alex is...well, if what she wrote on the paper is correct, Alex isn't exactly Alex anymore. She claims to be the Allspark, manifesting in a new form - a claim that's backed up by what you just told us." the Porsche Autobot said carefully.
"The Allspark was destroyed." Sam pointed out from off to the side.
"Apparently not. From what Alex wrote, the Allspark cannot be destroyed - it only changes forms." Bumblebee said.
"And apparently it's sentient." Ratchet said with what sounded like sour amusement. "Because of course, that makes absolute sense - after all, how could something give life and sentience without having such things itself?" Beth got the feeling Ratchet was kicking himself for not having realized this earlier.
"So what's happened to Alex, then?" Beth asked.
"We don't know." Cliffjumper said.
"We were going to ask when Alex was brought down here." Wheeljack supplied helpfully. Beth frowned.
"I'll see what I can do, but Adair seems intent on trying to 'fix' Alex." she said.
"She must not try!" Bumblebee said, his tone sharper than even the other Autobots had ever heard it. "The Allspark might be lost again if she does. While it is in Alex, there is at least a chance of finding a way to transfer it to something else."
"I can order her to release Alex to us if all else fails." Will offered, and Beth nodded.
"Right, let's go." she said, and then took off back to the infirmary, Will behind her. Adair naturally resisted having Alex taken out of her care, but after Will threatened to order her to release Alex - even though she curtly told him he couldn't override her on a medical matter - Adair finally relented. The doctor followed unhappily behind as Beth and Will led Alex through the corridors to the Autobots. Beth remained silent for the trip, not trying to speak to Alex, knowing that it would be useless.
They reached the room where the Autobots waited quickly, but while Beth and Will stopped at the entrance, Adair followed Alex as she kept going to Cliffjumper, who looked down at her in surprise as she placed both hands on his metallic foot. Even as Adair opened her mouth to argue with the Autobots about Alex being down there, lightning arched across Cliffjumper's frame, and he stiffened. Adair instinctively stepped away from the glowing arcs of energy, but the other Autobots started forward - only to be stopped by Ratchet, who had done a scan of the Autobot almost immediately.
"Don't - there's enough charge going through him that our systems would be overloaded if we touched him!" the medic snapped. "Even my medical insulation wouldn't be able to handle it."
"Well what about him, then?" Bluestreak demanded, motioning to Cliffjumper. Ratchet didn't have time to reply as Cliffjumper, without moving even the smallest bit, began speaking in Cybertronian, catching the Autobots' attention. They listened raptly, and when he finished, Bumblebee walked over and opened the door to the memorial room without saying a word. Alex drew back from Cliffjumper and made straight for the door, ignoring the resounding crash as Cliffjumper collapsed behind her. Glancing uncertainly between her sister and her mechanical friend, Beth hesitated.
"He'll be alright." Ratchet said after making a few more quick scans of Cliffjumper. "His systems just need to reboot."
"What about Alex? What's she doing?" Beth asked, heading for the memorial room once she knew her friend was alright.
"Rebuilding Optimus - or she will be, shortly." Wheeljack said as the Autobots and the other humans followed her into the room. Alex was waiting impatiently for the Autobots, and Bumblebee and Ironhide carefully removed the cover over Optimus' remains before Sideswipe gave Alex a hand up onto the concrete slab.
"What? That's crazy! How could Alex know how to put Optimus back together?" Adair demanded, sounding distinctly cranky.
"Alex doesn't know." Wheeljack said. "The Allspark, however, does know." Adair seemed ready to protest, not having heard the earlier explanation about Alex being the Allspark, but Bobby pulled her off a ways and began explaining what they knew. Beth ignored them as questions bubbled up inside of her.
"Ok, so the Allspark rebuilds Optimus. What then? Does she bring him back to life? And what about my sister?" Beth asked. Wheeljack frowned, and Bumblebee turned and spoke to Alex in Cybertronian. Alex paused in what she was doing, and then the most unholy setting of screeching sounds Beth had ever heard came from her sister's throat. It was Cybertronian, but somehow it sounded almost demonic coming from the throat of a human. Alex ended her speech in a gagging cough, then scowled and returned to what she was doing. The Autobots exchanged uneasy glances.
"What did she say?" Beth asked.
"She said Optimus' spark will be restored once he's rebuilt. But - once an Autobot dies, their spark is returned to the Matrix, and it cannot be retrieved." Wheeljack said slowly.
"The Matrix?" Beth asked, glancing towards Bumblebee.
"No, not the Matrix of Leadership - that's just a part of the greater Matrix. This greater Matrix is...in human terms, I believe the Matrix would be considered the afterlife for Transformers. There is no distinction between good or evil in it, like in your heaven and hell, but it is where all Transformer sparks go when the mechanical body dies." Wheeljack explained carefully.
"Alright. You said no one can bring a spark back from the Matrix, though, so what'll happen when she brings Optimus back to life? Will he be a zombie or something?" Beth asked, and she could hear a slight snicker from one of the men behind her, which everyone tactfully ignored.
"No, we can only assume that it will be a new spark in Optimus' body." Wheeljack said.
"So it'll be Optimus' body, but not Optimus' mind?" Sam asked, and Wheeljack and Ratchet both nodded.
"Won't you find that weird?" Will asked.
"Perhaps." Bumblebee said. "But we can change our forms easily - all the 'new' Optimus would have to do is scan a new vehicle, and he would not look like Optimus anymore."
"But you'll know." Beth pointed out, thinking privately of what she would have done, would have felt like, if Josh could have been healed and brought back to life, but as a completely new and different person. She didn't think she would have been able to handle it.
"Yes. We will." Bumblebee said with a sigh, and turned to look at Alex, who was still digging through Optimus' parts. "However, I doubt we could change her mind, and as the Allspark pointed out to us, we would not have been able to restrain her for long. Energy such as that...she could easily have melted or short-circuited anything between herself and Optimus' remains. The Allspark is a representation of life, however, and so she chose to wait, to see if she could reach Optimus in another way."
"Oh." Beth said. She remained quiet for a moment, before remembering that her last question hadn't been answered. "So what'll happen to Alex once this is all done with?"
"The Allspark said Alex was still there - whether it meant as part of it, or sleeping, or purely in the physical sense, we can't say." Bumblebee said with a frown as he watched the Alex.
"So she could be dead?" Beth asked, forcing all emotion from her voice.
"We don't know." Ratchet replied, his gaze on Alex. "This is beyond even our understanding."