Chapter 12

When she walked into her apartment everything was the same. The living room was still clattered with Cameron's toys; the afghan that covered her earlier during her nap was still bunched on the floor from when she dropped it in her haste to see her son walking to Jason. The only difference in the bright living room that always welcomed her home was her fiancé passed out on the floor.

Throwing her keys on the coffee table, Elizabeth rushed to Lucky's side forgetting everything that happened earlier that night, their fight and her kiss with Jason. She knelt down beside him, turning him gingerly onto his back. When his face came into view, Elizabeth gasped at the sight of his bruised and bloody face.

"Lucky." Her voice was frantic. "Lucky, can you hear me?"

He didn't move but the moan that escaped him eased some of Elizabeth's fear. She held his head in her lap and stroked his hair away from his face. Her frantic eyes left his face in search of their phone. She saw it on the far end of the couch, far enough where she would have to put Lucky's head back on the floor to retrieve it.

She was in the midst of releasing his head when his eyes opened and a groan escaped him. "Eliz… Elizabeth?"

"I'm right here." She cupped his face between her palms and looked into his glassy eyes. "Oh god… Lucky what happened?"

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth… I didn't… I didn't mean to do it."

"What?" He was grasping onto her hands with an almost frantic need. Elizabeth stared at him with confusion as he rambled on; apologizing to her for something she had no idea about. She moved back, got to her feet and tried to help Lucky up. The alcohol from before and the beating he took proved to be obstacles, allowing him to stand for a brief moment before he swayed towards the couch and plopped down.

Lucky put his head in his hands, still uttering incoherent phrases. Elizabeth frowned at his need to apologize, but before she could find out what he was talking about, she went into the kitchen and retrieved a pack of ice.

Placing the ice over the growing bump on Lucky's forehead, Elizabeth sat on the coffee table in front of him and tilted his head up to look into his unfocused eyes. "Lucky." It took several moments for him to process she was sitting in front of him, holding ice to his head. When he finally looked into her eyes, Elizabeth ran her thumb back and forth over his cheek. "What happened Lucky, what are you talking about?" Her voice was soft, soothing.

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth." Tears gathered into his eyes, causing her own eyes to fill at his emotion. "I didn't mean to, it was one night, one stupid night."

"I don't understand." He was starting to scare her. Her heart was thundering in her chest, making it hard to breathe. "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't mean to sleep with Sam." The ice fell from his forehead at the same time her soothing hand did. Her eyes were wide with confusion, with fear, with hurt. He continued on as if he didn't notice, needing to apologize for his mistake. "You kicked me out and I… I thought it was over between us. I went to the bar and Sam was there. One thing led to another and I…"

She stood up from the coffee table, unable to sit so close to him, unable to process what he was saying. Her back was to him and when he went on, she looked over her shoulder at him as she rubbed her belly. His elbows rested on his knees as his head rested between his hands. "I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing." He looked up at her, "Please Elizabeth, you have to believe me."

She turned fully around to look at him; silent tears were running down her face as she looked into his equally emotional eyes, glassy with tears and alcohol. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I had to explain what happened. I couldn't let you go on knowing what happened and… and not tell you why it happened."

Confusion etched her forehead as she studied him. He thought that she knew that he had an affair with another woman, but she didn't. He was only telling her because he thought he was caught. Anger replaced her grief stricken tears. "You slept with Sam." Her words were laced with anger, disgust.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." He scrambled to his feet, bypassed the coffee table and came to a stop in front of her. Lucky reached out for her shoulders and gripped them frantically as he looked into her eyes full with fury. "You have to believe me Elizabeth, I would never hurt you."

"Don't touch me!" She backed away from him; almost fell over from the strength she pulled away from him until he steadied her. "I said don't touch me."

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry, you're sorry?" Her expression showed her disgust with him and his pitiful explanation. "We had a fight and you slept with another woman and you're sorry?"

He tried to reach out for her again, tears gathered in his eyes when she held up her hand, warning him to stay away from her. "I didn't know what I was doing Elizabeth, please."

"You disgust me, you know that?" Both of her hands rested on her stomach as she seethed at him. "I have done everything I could think of to make a family with you. I have spent so much time dreaming of what it would be like to have the perfect family with you, and you made me believe that we could."

"We still can."

"No we can't!" Her hands were trembling. "You've ruined everything Lucky. You slept with another woman, how am I supposed to trust you."

"Please, I told you it was a mistake; I didn't know what I was doing."

"And that's supposed to make it ok?" He didn't respond as a tear slipped down his cheek. "We are supposed to be building a life together, a family and at the first sign of trouble you run away and find comfort in another woman's arms. In Sam's arms."

He looked away from her at the other woman's name on Elizabeth's lips. He was ashamed for what he had done. He never wanted to tell her what happened, but when Ruiz came into his home earlier, he thought she had already known. Judging by her reaction, she hadn't known.

"I have sacrificed so much to be with you. I mean look at me! I am carrying another mans child in order to provide for us!"

He finally looked at her. "You know how much I didn't want for you to be carrying Jax's child."

"That's not the point Lucky. You had plenty of time to tell me that you didn't want this before we went through the procedure-"

"I told you I didn't want to!"

"But then you told me it was ok! Don't you dare try to pin this on me." Her voice became very calm and lethal as she pointed a finger at him. "You are the one who screwed up, you are the one who walked out of here and ended up in bed with another woman."

Silence.

"What was it Lucky? Why did you sleep with Sam? Was it because you were feeling insecure about me carrying Jax's child?"

"I don't know. I told you, I didn't know what I was doing."

"Uh-uh, no that's not going to work. We got in a fight that night and you walked out after I told you to leave. We fought about sharing custody with Jax… oh my god. That's why you agreed to share custody, because you slept with Sam and you felt guilty." He remained silent. "Isn't it?"

"Partially."

"I can't even look at you right now." She went to reach for her keys on the coffee table when Lucky's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Please do not leave. We have to talk about this."

"What is there to talk about Lucky? You slept with another woman, ruining any chance for us to have a family together. What else to we need to talk about?" Her voice was condescending causing anger to form in Lucky.

"You're right, I slept with Sam and I cheated on you. But damn it Elizabeth, I was upset and I was confused. You are pregnant with another man's child and it kills me every time I see him around you because I know that that child growing inside you isn't mine, it's his."

Her hands continued to rub her belly. "So that's what this is about, you're jealous of Jax?" He nodded his head slightly causing her to snort in disgust. "You know that you have nothing to be jealous about. I don't love Jax; I don't even have feelings for him. You are the one I love and you went and screwed that up. You never had reason to be jealous of anyone."

"Oh really." He lifted his eyebrows in question as she tilted her head, their conversation growing ugly. "I never had anyone to be jealous about. What about Jason?"

"Jason? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"Why don't you tell me Elizabeth? You've been spending so much time with him lately. I'm beginning to think that you have feelings for him again. And you say I'm not supposed to be jealous of him."

"First of," she jabbed a finger into his chest, "I was hardly spending anytime with Jason when you hopped into bed with Sam, so don't you dare try to blame any of this on anyone but yourself. You're the one who got drunk, and you are the one who had sex with another woman. And Jason is just a friend of mine, he need's… you know what, we are not going to talk about this again. We're not going to talk about anything, I'm leaving."

"No your not," his voice seemed commanding, something that just lit her fire even more.

"Don't you dare try to stop me. You disgust me right now Lucky, I can't even look at you let alone be in the same room as you."

When he went to stop her from retrieving her keys from the coffee table, Elizabeth reached her hand back and slapped him hard across his face. For the moment he was distracted with holding his face, she had the chance to blindly reach down for her keys and grab her purse. She turned around with all intentions of making it to her front door until Lucky grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him, causing her stomach to crash with is. "Please do not go." His voice held tenderness as his grip held her tight.

"Let go of me." He looked into her face, saw the pain, the hurt, the anger and disgust and let her go.

She walked away without looking back, slamming the door behind her.

Elizabeth walked to the parking lot, dashing tears away from her face with angry swipes of her hand. She made it to her car door and when she went to insert her key, she realized she grabbed Lucky's keys instead. She took one look at her apartment door, thought of the man inside, the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with and made her decision. It was either go back inside and grab her keys, having another altercation with Lucky, or take his car to wherever she planed on going.

Decision made, Elizabeth walked towards Lucky's car.

He didn't know why he was here. All he knew was that he couldn't sit at Jake's anymore. After Elizabeth had left, practically running away from him, Jason wanted to go after her, but he knew better. It was a mistake kissing her, something he knew he shouldn't have done, but damn if he didn't enjoy it. He watched her make a mad dash for the exit of Jakes and called himself several names, none of them good.

Jason spent about an hour at Jake's, sipping on one beer until he couldn't stay there any longer. He didn't feel like a bike ride, didn't want to think, so he came here. He only felt comfortable around two people. One of them ran away from him, so that left Sonny.

Jason stood in the middle of Sonny's living room debating whether or not he made a mistake seeking the other man out. Before he could decide whether or not he wanted to stay, the decision was made for him when Sonny came walking into the room.

"Hey man, I didn't expect to see you here."

"I could leave if you're busy."

"No, I'm not busy."

"Ok."

They stood there in silence for several moments. Neither man knew what to say to the other. Sonny wasn't used to this feeling; it had never been this uncomfortable to be around Jason. They had been in fights before, done stupid things, but they had never been brought to the point where it was awkward standing in the same room. It unnerved Sonny.

Walking to his wet bar, Sonny motioned for Jason to take a seat as he offered him a drink, the younger man refused, so Sonny poured himself a glass of water. "What brings you by?" He asked as he leaned against his bar.

Jason really didn't know what to say. "I uh, I wanted to see how everything was going with you. I know that Carly is still in Rose Lawn, is that working out for her?" He really didn't know Carly, but from what he heard, she had been just as good of a friend as Sonny was.

Sonny could tell that something else was on Jason's mind, but he let it slide. "Carly's making great improvement in Rose Lawn. They think she should be able to come home in time to spend Christmas with the boys."

"Michael and Morgan?"

"Yeah." When Jason did nothing but nod his head in response, Sonny took a sip of his water and eyed the other man. "Something on your mind?"

Jason looked everywhere but at Sonny, when he finally looked at the other man, his expression was calm, waiting for Jason to speak. Sighing Jason clasped his hands between his knees and studied them. "I've been spending a lot of time with Elizabeth." He looked up at Sonny, but the other mans expression didn't change. "She's been helping me out a lot and she's been a good friend."

Sonny nodded as Jason spoke. He saw the two of them together a couple of times and was happy for the fact that Jason had someone who he could talk to. He knew the younger man worried about her and felt connected to her in someway. Jason had asked him to put a guard on her, worrying that Manny Ruiz posed a threat. "Does this have anything to do with Manny? Did he approach her again?"

"No." Frowning, Jason remembered that he still hadn't gotten an answer from Elizabeth on whether or not she would accept a guard. "Manny hasn't approached Elizabeth again. Something… happened earlier though, and I," sighing again, Jason looked back towards his clasped hands. "I kissed Elizabeth earlier tonight."

Sonny didn't say anything but when Jason looked back towards the older man, he could see the shocked expression on his face. His eyes opened wider than normal and he just stared at Jason. Finally composing himself, Sonny addressed the other man. "What happened?"

"I don't know Sonny." Standing up from the couch, Jason walked over to Sonny's desk before he turned back around and leaned back against it. "We were at Jake's playing pool. She started to tell me about our past." He looked away from Sonny and his eyes became unfocused, almost as if he were trying to relive the moment he kissed Elizabeth. "We were just talking and I don't know, something happened and I just kissed her and she kissed me back."

Sonny's voice broke Jason out of his trance, "What's the problem then?"

Smirking, Jason looked back at Sonny, crossing his arms over his chest. "She practically ran out of Jake's after we kissed. I just," he dropped his arms down to his sides, showing his frustrations. "I don't know Sonny, Elizabeth just… she makes me feel things and I don't know if I can control how I feel around her anymore. I don't know if I want to."

Sonny didn't want to be the one to bring Jason down further when he was already so low, but he felt the need to reason with him. "She is engaged to Lucky."

"I know that." Jason's hand sliced through the air silencing Sonny. "I know she is in love with someone else. I shouldn't have kissed her."

"You said she kissed you back."

"She did."

"Well-"

"But she also ran out Sonny." Jason straightened against the desk and placed his hands on his hips. "I don't know; I just don't want to lose her as a friend."

"Maybe you should just give her sometime and see what happens." He didn't know what else to say, but Sonny hoped that Jason wouldn't give up; it seemed that Elizabeth was good for him.

As a friend, of course.

"Maybe your right." The sigh that escaped Jason this time was borderline hope and regret.

"How has everything else been going? Is your treatment going ok?"

"I've only had one treatment so far and it seems to be helping." He didn't want to tell Sonny about his resent memory glimpses, didn't want to get his hopes up and then shatter them when he explained that he still had no memories of their friendship. "I have an appointment really early tomorrow morning," looking at Sonny's clock, he realized it was well past midnight. "Actually, I have an appointment in a couple of hours. I should be heading out."

When Jason turned around to walk away after saying goodbye, he turned back around to look at Sonny as the other man nodded his head and looked down towards his feet. "Sonny."

When Sonny brought his gaze to him, Jason nodded his head once. "Thank you."

And then he was gone.

Elizabeth sat in front of her grandmother's house in Lucky's car for several hours. She didn't know where she wanted to go, but as she turned out of her apartment complex, the first thing that came to her mind was seeing her son and holding him in her arms. But as she pulled down her grams street and stopped the car, she couldn't talk herself into getting out.

She didn't cry the entire ride to her gram's house, didn't shed one tear. But the moment the car stopped, the flood gates opened and she couldn't stop. Lucky had cheated on her with another woman, again.

Only this time, they were together and the other woman wasn't her sister, but it was worse. He had cheated on her with Sam McCall, someone she had been friendly with. She wouldn't call Sam a friend, but she had always made sure to be kind to the other woman, partially because she had meant something to Jason at one time.

But Lucky had cheated on her with Sam, and he ruined everything. For so long, since she was a teenager, she had dreamt of marrying Lucky and building a life with him, the perfect family. They had messed up with each other several times, delaying her dream for years, but they were finally together again. And what did you do? He ruined their chance at true happiness.

Swiping away her tears, Elizabeth rubbed her belly as her child kicked her, obviously worried about her mother. "I know baby," sniffing Elizabeth continued, "Mommy is just a little upset right now. But you have nothing to worry about."

Looking back at her grams dark house, Elizabeth let a wistful smile cross her lips as she returned her gaze to her full belly. "No matter what, you are going to have the best life ever. I promise you that."

"See, your dad, Jax, he is kind of this power hungry business type, but I know he will love you with everything he has. You'll probably be the most spoiled little girl. But don't worry; I'll make sure you don't get spoiled too much." Laughing at the thought of Jax pampering their little girl with everything she wanted Elizabeth patted her stomach when her baby kicked again.

"I promise you that your life will be full of love and happiness. I may not be the smartest or the luckiest when it comes to love, but I know that I will love you and be the best mommy ever. Just ask Cameron." Closing her eyes, Elizabeth leaned her head back and let a tear fall down her cheek. "No matter what, you'll be so loved."

Opening her eyes again, Elizabeth took one last look at her grams house and decided to drive around a little more. She didn't want to disturb her grams just yet, and she wasn't ready for the endless questions the older woman was sure to ask.

Starting Lucky's car again, Elizabeth pulled away from her grams house and made a right towards the road to nowhere.

It didn't feel right driving down that road without Jason or his bike. It felt almost wrong. But still, Elizabeth pushed the gas a little harder and rolled down her window, wanting to feel the wind in her hair. She pushed the gas a little more, but eased off when she came to a turn. Once she passed the turn, not loving it as much as when she was on Jason's bike, she slowed the car down and turned around.

The cliff roads where just not the same without Jason, they did nothing to make her feel better.

She pressed the gas as she passed the last turn, because of the downward slant of the road the car began to pick up more speed. Elizabeth looked down at her speedometer, seeing that she was going well over fifty and began to hit her breaks.

Nothing happened.

The car began to pick up more speed as Elizabeth began to press the break harder. She couldn't push the break down any further, but the car didn't slow down, it just continued to go faster, picking up more and more speed as the car moved.

Heart beating against her chest, Elizabeth looked around for something, anything to give her the answer in what to do. She couldn't stop her car, couldn't slow it down as panic made its way into her chest, cutting off her air supply.

Frantic, Elizabeth tried the break again, swerving her car trying to keep it in control. She reached for her purse, not knowing what else to do as she sailed down the deserted road; she pulled out her cell phone and dialed nine-one-one. As she brought the phone to her ear, a car pulled out in front of her, making her swerve to the right.

The speed of her car made it impossible to avoid the accident. Her phone fell to the floor as her car swerved. Metal crunched against metal, creating a sickening sound as Lucky's car spun in a circle before it flipped once, causing the roof of the car to crunch against the ground. The wheels continued to spin in the air as the car remained flipped over.

Pain radiated through Elizabeth's entire body before darkness took over.