Chapter Sixteen
Everything was perfect.
Candles littered the table along with cartons filled with Chinese food. The penthouse was dimmed, making the soft light from the candles glow against the darkened room. It was the perfect setting to get him back.
And how could he refuse after she told him her wonderful news. It also didn't hurt that she was wearing her most revealing dress.
The soft rap against the door stirred her into action. This was it; she was finally going to have him back again.
Opening the door, slowly for the dramatics of showing herself off, Sam smiled with a seductive gleam in her eye. "I'm so glad you came."
She stepped back, gesturing him inside.
Jason stood in the doorway, unmoving. He should have known better, he shouldn't have come here. The room was filled with candles, suggesting a romantic night. Sam had told him that she had something important to tell him, something that she couldn't tell him over the phone. She even promised that this had nothing to do with getting him to move back with her, but clearly, she was lying.
"I should go."
"No!" Sam shouted, gripping onto his arm only to loosen her grip and soften her voice. Tears would help, they always did. "Please… please don't go."
Eyes welling up with tears, Sam pleaded with him. "I have to talk to you."
Since the moment he woken up and saw her, every time he got mad or tried to have time to himself without her, Sam's eyes would always well up with tears and at times he would soften and give in to her. But since he moved into Jakes and hardly ever saw her, the tears didn't do much for him. He felt bad for her, especially since he was supposed to be in love with her and he couldn't imagine how she must have felt, but he couldn't help her anymore. He wasn't the man she wanted him to be.
Without a word, Jason turned around. He didn't make it two steps before she shouted at him.
"I'm pregnant."
That stopped him. His entire body tensed, not a muscle moved for a moment. Her voice forced its way through his shock. He could hear the tears in her voice.
"I didn't want to tell you like this. God, Jason, I had this all planned out. You would come in; we'd eat our favorite meal and talk, maybe even laugh together, like old times. Then I'd tell you and… that's it. I just wanted to tell you. This isn't some type of trap or anyth—"
"Is it mine?" He asked, slowly turning around.
Her eyes opened in shock, her mouth formed a thin, angry line. "Of course it is!" He only stood there, staring at her. "Just come in a sit down."
He moved into the room but didn't sit. Sam's expression pleaded with him to sit. "I don't want to sit." He didn't want to stay; he didn't want to hear this.
"Of course this child is yours, Jason. We were together several times before you lost your memory. But I know the night we conceived." She smiled; a dreamy look in her eyes. "It was a beautiful night. We had Chinese food, you carried me upstairs and—"
"I don't want to hear this." He sighed, an angry arm slashing through the air.
"You need to hear this. You need to know what we were and how much we love each other. Then…then maybe you wouldn't try so hard to deny we are meant to be together." She walked over to him, grabbed his hands and held on tight when he tried to pull away. "We made a life together, out of love. Don't stay away from me anymore; don't stay away from your child."
He didn't need this, not right now. He hardly even knew who the hell he was and now he was going to be a father. It wasn't the kid's fault, though.
"This baby could make you remember me." She moved closer. "Maybe we could recreate that night to celebrate this miracle."
Brow furrowed, Jason took a step back. "No."
Her face fell. "But we made a baby together."
Scrubbing his hands over his face, Jason stalked away. So many emotions were running though him. Anger, confusion, hurt, sadness. But none of that, none of his feelings changed the fact that there was a child who was going to depend on him now. Just when he was starting to get his life back on tract, even though memories were coming back to him, all of Elizabeth, he was finally starting a new life. And now this, something that would bring him back into the life he was trying to get away from, a life he couldn't even remember.
He wanted so badly to hit something, to ram his fist into the wall before him. But he held back. "I-I need time to think." He started; his voice scratchy with emotion.
"What's there to think about? We have a baby together and now we need to be together to raise this child." She was panicking once he turned around and began to walk towards the door. "You of all people would say that this baby needs its mother and father to be together and love it. Please!"
He turned around, looked at the woman standing before him. This baby would change things, he would have to allow Sam in his life, but he didn't have to let Sam be his life. Not like she wanted it to be. "I will love this child and be a father to it."
With that he walked to the door and out of the penthouse. He didn't look back when she called out to him.
"This baby needs both of us together. A child deserves to have two loving parents who also love each other!"
She was right. A child did deserve loving parents, and he would do all he could to love his child and give it a good life. He just couldn't see himself loving Sam and being with her.
He walked past the elevator and towards the stairs.
Sam watched him leave. Once the door to the stairs closed behind him she slammed the penthouse door. The crash didn't do enough to satisfy her anger. Turning around, she glanced at the uneaten Chinese food, the wax dripping off of the candles that did nothing to help set a romantic mood. She walked to the table with angry strides, swiping her arms across the surface and felt a slight satisfaction at seeing everything that once littered the table fall to the floor.
Her anger didn't end there. It didn't end with ripping the pillows off of the couch, or throwing the chairs across the room; it didn't even end when she threw several glasses against the fire place and finally stopped. She had a feeling that the anger would never end until Jason finally remembered who they were to each other.
Walking towards the desk, Sam picked up the phone and dialed the number to the person she knew would help her get rid of some of this angry energy.
"Why are you trying to make it seem like my baby never existed?"
The question echoed through the small apartment, screaming in Elizabeth's ears, ringing in Lucky's.
Staring at her in bafflement, Lucky stood frozen in place. The anger from seeing her with Jason when he walked into their apartment still simmered through him. "What do you mean?"
She was suddenly feeling cold. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, Elizabeth looked away. "I came home from the hospital to find all of her things gone. You got rid of them. Why?"
"I thought it would be easier for you if you didn't have all of those things to remind you."
"All of those things? Those things belonged to my baby and you just got rid of them." Her voice was hardening. She allowed her gaze to lock with his, let him see her anger and hurt. "I just lost her; I don't want to forget about her."
Shaking his head, Lucky stalked over to the couch where she sat and sat down next to her. His body was turned towards hers, crowding her. When he tried to reach for her hand, she pulled away. His anger grew. "What did you want to do, Elizabeth? Come home and go through all of its things and cry? The baby's gone, you need to move on."
"It's only been two weeks!" Not wanting to be near him, she stood up and walked around the living room, giving him her back. "You've been against this baby from the beginning. It doesn't matter that she was a part of me, you never wanted her. You—"
"She wasn't going to be our baby! You were going to give her away to another couple!"
"We don't need to go over that again." She spoke quietly, too quietly. She still kept her back to him. She was sick and tired of explaining to him why she offered to give Jax and Courtney a child. They were a couple in love who wanted but couldn't have a child. She thought they deserved a chance at a family and wanted to help them. She also wanted to help Lucky and get out of dept so that they could move on with their lives. He didn't understand that when they first agreed to her being a surrogate and he still didn't understand it.
Turning towards him, Elizabeth's voice remained whisper soft. "Once Jax and Courtney broke up, we were going to share custody of the baby with Jax. She was going to be in our lives and you still couldn't accept it."
"You're right!" He exploded. "She wasn't my child and I couldn't accept that you were having another mans baby. Could you really blame me? Do you know how hard it was to see your stomach grow, to see you excited about having a baby and know, know all along, that that baby wasn't mine?"
"It's not like I slept with him. It's not like I cheated on you and that's why I was pregnant. Lucky," her voice softened. "It doesn't matter that Jax was the biological father. You would have been just as much of a father to that baby as he would have been."
"It's not the same."
Staring at him, Elizabeth shook her head, a single tear slipping past her lashes. "What happened to you?" She whispered. "It shouldn't matter that she wasn't your baby by blood, if you love me, it shouldn't—"
The ringing of his cell interrupted her. Her eyes begged him not to answer it, to let it ring and let them finish this. He looked at the caller ID, answered it.
"Yeah?"
"It's me. I need you to come over. Now."
Looking at Elizabeth, the broken expression across her face, the tears falling from her eyes, Lucky shook his head. He didn't need her to yell at him, to tell him what a horrible person he was for trying to help her. The baby wasn't his, and yes, he did hurt for her for loosing the child, but he wasn't the father. Jax was.
Clenching his hand around the phone, Lucky locked his gaze with Elizabeth's as he answered. "I'll be right there."
Hanging up the phone, Lucky looked away. "I have to go."
"Where are you going?" She sniffed, taking a step towards him then stopping.
"It's work."
"Lucky, please." She touched his arm, made him look at her. "I need you right now. I don't…" another tear slid down her cheek, her chin wobbled. She swallowed and when she spoke, her throat hurt. "I don't want to be alone right now."
Seconds before she was accusing him of not caring about her child and now she was begging him to stay. It was most likely to yell at him some more. Anger from their previous fight, anger at seeing Jason in his home, made him lash out.
"Why don't you call Jason? I'm sure he'll rush right over."
Her hand slipped away from his arm as he walked out the door. Getting in Elizabeth's car, Lucky headed towards Sam.
An hour later there was a soft rap against the front door of her apartment. She knew it wasn't Lucky, he wouldn't knock. Hoping it was Jason, Elizabeth wiped her hands across her face several times to hide the evidence of her crying. No matter how hard she tried to stop, she couldn't.
Bending her head, Elizabeth opened the door to give the best smile she could at Jason but he wasn't standing there.
Jax was.
He immediately rushed forward at seeing her tear stained face. "Hey, you ok?" He asked, enveloping her in a strong hug.
She sighed against his chest, happy to feel the support of his arms around her. This was all she needed. To be held, to feel like she could let go and not be ashamed of it. And she did let go, all over his—most likely very expensive—suit jacket.
Minutes passed before she shook herself out of her tears, taking a step back. When she finally looked into his concerned filled face, Elizabeth smile reassuringly, "I'm good… I'm better. I think I just really needed that."
Stepping into her apartment, Jax cast his most charming smile. "I'll be happy to let you cry on my shoulder any time you want to."
Laughing a little, Elizabeth led the way to her couch. "I'll be sure to warn you ahead of time. That way you can change you shirt into something a little less expensive." Scrunching her nose, she raised her eyebrows. "Do you even own anything other than suits?"
Tapping her shoulder, Jax laughed. "As a matter of fact, I do. I'm not always about business, you know."
Smiling, Elizabeth looked away then met his kind blue eyes again. "What are you doing here?"
The smile slipped from his face, he looked down at his lap. "I wanted to talk to you about …" his voice broke making him blink several times before he continued. "About having a memorial for her."
"I haven't even…" Her voice trailed off, tears began to cloud her vision again.
"I don't want anything big." Jax voice was firm, but she could see the pain in his eyes. "I was hoping we could have a small memorial to lay our baby to rest, peacefully."
Nodding, Elizabeth let her tears fall. "That would be nice."
"I didn't mean to upset you."
Placing her hand over his, Elizabeth gave it a gentle squeeze. "We need to do this, together. You lost a child, too."
"I still can't believe it. One minute I was going to be a dad and the next…" Clearing his throat, Jax let his emotion show. "And the next she's gone."
"I'm so sorry. It was my job to protect her and I—"
"Hey," he spoke firmly, "It's not your fault, this is not your fault. I don't blame you in any way and you better not be blaming yourself."
"I'm trying not to, but it's hard."
"I know." Clearing his throat, Jax rose. "I'll make some of the arrangements and call you so we can agree on what to do."
She nodded, gave a gentle smile.
Staring down at her, Jax put his hands in his suit pants. "Do you want me to stay? I can cancel some of my meetings if you don't want to be alone."
"No… no. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure, I don't want to leave you alone."
"I'll be ok. I'm going to leave anyway. I have someone I need to see."
Once Jax was gone, after convincing him some more that she was going to be ok, Elizabeth picked up her phone. The phone rang two times before the gentle voice of her grandmother answered. "Grams, it's me, Elizabeth….I'm fine, I was just wondering if you could watch Cameron a little while longer. There's something I need to take care of before I pick him up."
The door to his living room opened, causing Sonny to look up from the paperwork in front of him. Jason stood there, an odd expression on his face.
Sonny rose from his chair, gestured Jason inside. "Hey, come in." Once he was inside the room, Sonny sat back down. "What's up?"
"Sam's pregnant."
Jason didn't know why he was here; why he came here after his appointment with Tony Jones, but he needed someone to talk to and though he would turn to Elizabeth, he didn't think right now would be a good time to come to her about something like this.
So his next instinct was to come here, to Sonny's.
Sitting back in his chair, Sonny let out a long breath. He was at a loss for words. "Wow, man. I…"
"She says its mine."
"It probably is." Sonny answered. When Jason just stared at him, Sonny held up his hands. "You and Sam loved each other, lived together. It hasn't been that long since you lost your memory. You and Sam were probably trying to start a family before what happened."
Lifting his arms from his side, Jason shrugged. "I can't change what happened. I don't remember her. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"Do you have to figure it out right now?"
"How can I not?" Jason asked, fixing Sonny with a wide eyed expression. "I just found out I'm going to be a father, how can I not try to figure out what to do?"
Sonny shook his head, wanting to help his friend but not knowing how.
Jason sat down, rested his elbow on his thigh, his cheek in his hand. "Sam thinks that this can bring us back together. She thinks I'll remember her and our love and be with her and the baby." Sighing, he shook his head, rubbed his hand over his face. "That won't happen, I've changed."
Voice low, Sonny clicked his tongue. "You can't be sure of that."
"What I know now is that I don't love her. I can't be with her and allow her to hope for something that I know wont happen." Standing, Jason walked towards the windows and looked out. "I think Elizabeth's accident wasn't an accident."
He turned around to see Sonny's expression. Other than the mild look of shock that passed his face then left, Sonny's expression never changed.
"Why would you think that?"
"I just have this feeling." He answered his voice firm and determined. "I think someone tampered with her car. I think Manny tampered with Lucky's car. He was probably after Lucky and Elizabeth ended up in the middle some how. I have this feeling that Manny is behind this."
"Ok." Sonny agreed immediately. "I'll put someone on it. There might be a problem though. Her car accident was two weeks. If there is any evidence to the car being tampered with, it's probably already been covered."
"You said that Manny was working with Alcazar. There has to be some way to figure out if they had anything to do with the accident."
Sonny wanted to ask him what he planned on doing if they were able to prove that it was Manny and Alcazar's fault that Elizabeth was in her accident, but he held back. He still wanted Jason back in the business, but he also wanted to have him back as a friend as well. They were slowly getting their friendship back; Sonny didn't want to make a mistake by pushing Jason away.
"How is Elizabeth?"
"She's doing better. She can walk on her own. But she still limps a little if she pushes herself." He suddenly felt very old and very tired. Sitting back down on the couch, Jason pressed his elbows into his knees, needing the slight pain that went along with the sharpness. "I hate seeing her in pain."
Clearing his throat, Jason stared into his open palms. "I hated to see her struggle when she had to start walking again. I just wanted to help her, to make all the pain go away. But I couldn't."
Sonny listened, didn't say a word as Jason spoke about Elizabeth.
"It kills me to see her cry and know that there isn't anything I can do about it. She says that I help her by just listening, but she still cries."
He sounded so helpless, lost.
His eyes connected with Sonny's. No longer did Sonny see a man struggling to keep everyone away. Before him sat Jason, the man he knew before he lost his memory. His expression was open, allowing Sonny to see the pain and something else behind his eyes.
"There might be another answer to why you can't be with Sam again."
Confused, Jason's eyebrows furrowed, his hands dropped to lay slack against his thighs. "What does this have to do with Sam?"
"You can't see yourself trying to reconnect with Sam because of Elizabeth." Sonny answered, gave his friend a sympathetic smile. "You're in love with Elizabeth."