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Chapter Twenty

"How was work today?"

"Fine."

Elizabeth sighed and tried hard not to roll her eyes but failed. For the past week, everyday was the same. Lucky would leave every morning for work, kissing her lightly before walking out the door for most of the day. He would come home, seem distant and when she would ask how his day went, the answer was always the same: 'fine.'

It hadn't bothered her at first. She had been too busy taking care of Cameron, making the arrangements with Jax for the memorial and spending time with Jason, still revisiting their past.

Lucky was there for her when she needed him, though. He held her when she cried at night when she allowed herself to think about the upcoming memorial. He was even there for her yesterday at the memorial, holding her hand and letting her lean her head on his shoulder when she felt too tired to hold it up.

But now… now that the memorial was over, she wished things could go back to the way they were. She would still mourn for her child, thinking about her, but she had to move on.

They used to talk about everything. Now they hardly ever spoke unless she initiated it. There was one bright side, however, they hadn't fought.

Placing the shirt she had been folding in the laundry basket, Elizabeth stood and walked into the kitchen were Lucky was getting a beer. He just closed the refrigerator when she hugged him from behind. "Was it a long day?"

"No," he shook his head as he twisted off the cap, taking a long pull.

Trying again, Elizabeth moved around him, kissing him lightly, "Did you have to arrest anyone?"

Placing his beer down, Lucky wrapped his arms around her, kissing her again. "Just some drug dealer." He began to trail kisses down her cheek and neck, nipping lightly at her shoulder. "I don't want to talk about work right now."

Feeling slightly uncomfortable, Elizabeth tried to back away but couldn't get out of his arms. "Lucky, we can't. Cameron's going to wake up from his nap any minute."

He smiled, backing her against the counter, "let him play in his room once he get's up. We haven't been together since before your accident. I miss you."

She let him kiss her, frowning when the usual flutter didn't erupt in her stomach. Patting his shoulder, Elizabeth moved out of his embrace and into the living room. "Right now isn't a good time," she said almost distantly.

"Damn it, Elizabeth, when is this going to stop?"

Turning around at his angry voice, Elizabeth looked at Lucky with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"This," he gestured between them. "You. Keeping your distance from me."

Placing a hand against her chest, Elizabeth squinted, "You think I'm the one keeping my distance. I can't even talk to you without you changing the subject or acting like you're too busy to hold a conversation."

She saw his face tighten before he blew out a breath, placing his hands on his hips. "You know what? I don't need this. I've had a long and stressful day at work and I thought I could relieve some of that stress with my fiancé."

"You want to make love to me to relieve your stress?" she scoffed. "Wow, you are such a romantic. We haven't made love for weeks and you want to start up again with a little quickie?"

"Like I said, I don't need this." When she continued to stare at him with disgust in her eyes, he threw his hands up. "I'm taking a shower."

"You do that," she snapped, plopping back down on the sofa to resume her folding from earlier. The bathroom door slamming made her roll her eyes. "Jerk."

She couldn't understand what happened to them. It was like she was loosing touch with him, maybe even falling out of love.

No, she scolded herself. She couldn't think like that. She loved Lucky; they were planning on spending the rest of their lives together. So what if they were hitting a rocky patch right then; they'd get through it, they always did before.

She picked up another shirt, frowning over her thoughts, when a memory hit her like a freight train, causing her to drop the shirt.

She was kissing him. The sensations running through her caused a flush to raise high in her cheeks. The kiss was slow, sensual, breathtaking.

It was a kiss she couldn't believe she had forgotten.

As the kiss kept flashing in her mind, she breathed a sigh of relief. Lucky made her feel good before, they could get to that place again.

Just when that thought ran through her mind, her memory moved forward, letting her see the face of the man she had kissed.

It wasn't Lucky.

It was Jason.

Gasping, Elizabeth closed her eyes, squeezing them so tight it hurt. When the hell did she kiss Jason?

She urged herself to remember as her stomach tied itself in knots. The memory was still unclear, but she could pick up pieces of what had happened.

She remembered going to Jakes to find Jason and the next thing she could remember was kissing him. Her fingertips touched her lips as a sigh escaped between them. How she ended up in his arms she couldn't remember.

But it had been one hell of a kiss.

A slow smile tilted the corners of her mouth as she recalled that kiss over and over. He had held her so gently, like she was a precious gift. His lips had been soft, yet firm as they explored her mouth. As if he were standing right there, kissing her again, she could remember his hands running softly through her hair.

Well… damn.

Confused, scared, excited, Elizabeth jumped up from the couch, walking to her door. She made it one step outside when she realized she wasn't wearing any shoes. Shaking her head, she turned around and went back inside her apartment, questioning herself.

What the hell was she doing? Was she just going to find Jason, grab him and kiss him the second she saw him?

"Slow down," she whispered, trying to catch her breath. She heard Lucky stop the water in his shower and began to panic again. Grabbing her shoes, Elizabeth made her way to the door again when she remembered she was a mother.

"Crap," she breathed, making her way to Cameron's room as she tugged her sneakers on. She opened his door quietly, thinking to pick him up while he was still sleeping but her son had other plans.

He was sitting up in bed playing with his toy motorcycle as he made a slurping sound. He looked up, saw her and squealed, "Mommy!"

"Shhh," she placed her finger against her lips, walking into his room. "Do you want to go bye-bye?"

He nodded clapping his hands before holding them out to her. She picked him up and started to walk out of the room when he wiggled against her, shouting, "Cycle! Cycle!"

"Ok, ok," she whispered, hurrying to get the bike before Lucky came out of the bathroom. She smiled as she picked up the toy, remembering when Jason gave it to Cameron the day before the memorial.

Elizabeth hadn't been herself that day, knowing she had to be there for Cameron but not being able to make herself move. Jason had come over, like he'd known she needed help. He didn't ask her any questions, just said he was going to take Cameron out for the day to give her some rest, knowing she needed time to just sit down and cry. When they had come back that day, she was all cried out, thankful for the break.

Cameron had come running in, the motorcycle in his hand high above his head, wanting to show it off. When she had raised an eyebrow at Jason, he turned sheepish, shrugging his shoulders and stating that "Cameron wanted it."

He was such an amazing man and Elizabeth finally allowed herself to admit that she was beginning to feel more for him, again. She tried not to; she always talked herself out of those feelings when they began to surface. But now, after remembering that kiss, she couldn't hide it any longer.

There was something going on between the two of them and she needed to find out what it was.

She just made it to the door when she heard Lucky call out to her.

"Where are you going?"

"Out," was all she said as she shut the door.

First stop Grams, next stop Jakes.

"I didn't get any information today but I'll keep you informed." Digging in his pocket for his room key, Jason listened as Sonny gave him more instructions on how to follow Manny.

He placed the key in the door, unlocked it and pushed the door open. "I'll do that." Looking up, Jason stopped, staring at the woman standing in his room. "I'll have to call you back later." Not listening to hear what else Sonny had to say, Jason ended the call.

"How did you get here?" he asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Sam," he sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.

"I followed Sonny this morning, ok? I had to see you," she pouted, stepping closer to him.

Feeling a headache form behind his eyes, Jason pushed the door closed with his foot, not hearing the click of it closing and not caring. "What's wrong?" he asked, wishing he didn't have to.

"Everything," he heard her sniff, causing his gaze to snap to hers. Tears were welling in her eyes, making her look miserable. "This just isn't right, Jason. My whole world turned upside down when you lost your memory. I've lost you and it's not fair to me."

"I'm sorr—"

She cut him off, "I know you can't remember us, but you won't even give us a chance. Have you ever stopped to think about what I'm going through?" she placed a hand against her chest. "You were my world and now you won't even talk to me."

"I'm not trying to hurt you."

"But you are!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks now. He felt like an ass to be hurting her this way. She really didn't do anything wrong except for worry about him too much, crowding him. "Every time you act like I'm bothering you my heart breaks more and more."

Nodding, Jason looked away, hating to see her cry but not knowing what he could do to help her. He couldn't help the way he felt. Telling her he would give them a chance would help her but it wouldn't be right because it would be a lie.

"This," she whispered as she gestured between them. "This kills me. Every time I used to cry, you would hold me and it would always make me feel so much better. Now here I am," she lifted her arms and dropped them back down with a slap. "I'm crying and I'm hurt and it's like you don't care."

He did care that he was hurting her.

She buried her face in her hands, sniffing, causing him to step forward and place his hand on her shoulder. He stiffened when she flung her arms around his stomach, clingy to him.

"I just miss being held by you," she whispered brokenly

Feeling like the biggest jerk for making her cry, Jason slowly put his arms around her, patting her back.

He felt her lift her head from his chest and he looked down at her. Sam's eyes were no longer filled with tears but another emotion.

"There's only one way to decide that you can never be with me," she whispered huskily.

He waited for her to continue, his breathing quickening, already regretting letting her get too close.

"Kiss me. Kiss me and tell me you don't feel anything." When he opened his mouth to protest, she placed a finger against his lips, leaning forward. "You'll finally be able to see how you really feel once you kiss me." Still, he waited.

"It's just a kiss," she murmured right before she leaned all the way in and placed her lips against his.

He heard her moan as she hugged him tighter. Her lips moved over his and Jason kissed her back.

As she cupped his cheeks in her hands, Jason finally realized what he felt for her.

Nothing.

Elizabeth raced up the back stairs of Jakes. She still didn't know what she was going to say to Jason when she saw him but she knew that she had to see him.

She had some things to figure out and it all began with Jason.

Stopping before his door, Elizabeth frowned when she noticed that it was slightly ajar. Shrugging her shoulders, Elizabeth lightly tapped on the door as she stuck her head in.

"Hello…oh." She stopped, feeling her throat tighten. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"No, it's not…" Jason said as he untangled himself from Sam's arms. The other woman glared at her, sucking her teeth and stepping closer to Jason when he moved away from her. "Elizabeth, this isn't what—"

"It's..." she cut him off. "I didn't…" not able to finish, Elizabeth fled from the room, doing her best to keep her tears at bay.

She could hear Sam tell Jason to not go after her as she fled down the stairs and Elizabeth hoped he would listen to Sam. She couldn't face him right at that moment and keep her dignity.

Her feet hit the landing and she was already making her way to the back exit when she felt a hand wrap around her arm. "Elizabeth, wait."

Pulling her arm free, Elizabeth dashed the few tears that slipped past her lashes and onto her cheeks away. Putting on her best smile, she turned and shrugged her shoulders. "It's ok, Jason. I'm sorry I walked in on the two of you."

"You didn't walk in on anything," he said, sounding urgent. "She asked me—"

"You don't have to explain," she interrupted, putting her hand up. "You're a grown man Jason, what you do is your own business." She had to get out of there. She could feel her throat closing as more tears threatened to spill.

"Sam's the mother of your child, you two used to be together. It's only natural…" she shrugged again, hugging her arms tight across her middle.

Jason stepped forward, lifting his hand to touch her but dropping it back down to his side. He sighed, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "I need to explain to you what just happened, please."

How could she tell him no after everything he did for her? He always listened to her when she needed to talk, it was the least she could do to listen to him.

Even if it broke her heart.

"Ok," she spoke quietly, looking at the ground.

She heard him take in a large breath of hair and then release it slowly. "Sam showed up before I got home. She was crying and I felt bad because I'm the one who made her cry. I hugged her and then she asked me to kiss her."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, still looking away.

"I wasn't going to at first, but then she said it would make me see how I really felt about her."

Her chest tightened, waiting to hear how he felt.

"I didn't feel anything."

Elizabeth's head snapped up, her eyes opened wide. "You didn't?"

"No," he shrugged. "Whatever I felt for her before I lost my memory, it's gone."

"Unless you remember her."

"I don't think so."

She finally looked at him and when their eyes connected, she couldn't look away. She felt a sizzle in the air, ready to crack at any moment. Her lips were suddenly dry, causing her to lick them. She watched as his eyes followed the movement.

"Why did you come here?" he whispered hoarsely.

"I remember kissing you." She blurted out, not thinking. She felt her cheeks grow hot and she wished, more than anything, that she could turn back time and not say that.

"What?"

Well, she thought, the damage was already done.

Rubbing her forehead, Elizabeth explained, "I don't remember everything, but I remember kissing you the night of my accident." A sudden horrifying thought crossed her mind. "We did kiss, right? I'm not—"

"No," he cleared his throat, blushing a little. "We kissed."

"What happened?"

He cleared his throat again and when he went to speak, Sam came downstairs. She placed her hand on Jason's chest as she sneered at Elizabeth. "We're not done talking, Jason."

"Sam," he practically groaned but Elizabeth stopped him.

"No, Jason it's ok. I," she breathed in deeply. "I have a lot to think about. You two should finish." She smiled, letting him know that everything was ok, that she wasn't hurt by what she saw earlier. "We'll talk later."

"Yeah," he smiled back. "Later."

Not even glancing at Sam, Elizabeth walked out of Jakes with a smile across her lips and a knot in her stomach. There was a lot to think about.

Just when she was about to start her car, she heard the back door of Jakes slam, causing her to look up. Sam stormed out of the building, a furious look upon her face. For some reason, it made Elizabeth smile.

She didn't know why, but there was something in the back of her mind that told her she hated Samantha McCall.

And it had nothing to do with the other woman having Jason's child. She was sure of that. She envied the woman, but she didn't hate her for that.

There was something else that made her not like Sam. One way or another, Elizabeth was going to find out what it was.