IX. Separation – the act of being kept apart or divided
Life continued on for each of the couples. James trained his mind not to think of Lily. And Lily did her best not to think of James. They each tried to be happy in their respectful lives. But after so much time, things seemed hopeless.
James had settled into a routine in his new home. Although it was miserable for him he couldn't help but smile at Andromeda's happiness.
"So you really do like it here?" he inquired of her, one night.
"Oh, yes! Very much!" she said shortly.
"Well, I'm glad. What do you do during the day while I'm at work?" he asked.
She hesitated. "Er – I," she stuttered. "I just do housework and go into town sometimes." He couldn't help but feel she was hiding something from him.
"Oh," James replied.
"Do you like it here?" she asked him.
"Oh, well, you know, I miss home," he said.
This was how the majority of their time was spent: speaking this exact same conversation. The fire in their relationship had long since burnt out and James wasn't exactly keen on rekindling it.
The day had been cold and rainy. The light in the woods surrounding him was dim. The ground was cold and wet, but he didn't care. He brushed a hand through his messy hair. He scanned the area once more, gazing through the woods to sense any sign of peculiarity. But then, the most beautiful sight he could ever imagine came before his eyes.
Through the looming cedar trees, came a young girl dressed in a dark blue gown. Her red hair gently rested around her shoulders. She stepped towards him, taking one glance behind her shoulder.
"Hello," she said. Her voice was soft.
He smiled at her arrival and walked toward her. "I've missed you," he said taking her hand in his.
"I've missed you, too," she said, gazing into his eyes. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. He gently pressed his lips onto hers, cherishing every second of her presence.
"Its time to give him up," Belqua told Lily one evening as she gazed mindlessly at the ocean. "Its time to move on."
"I'm trying, Belqua," she said. "I really am."
"You must! It's been four years. He's not going to come back. He's gone."
"I know that," Lily shouted angrily. "I know!"
"I'm sorry, but I heard Master Sirius talking of a baby, the other day."
Lily was speechless. "A baby? Are you sure?"
"Well, I only heard him through passing, but-"
"But I don't want to have a baby," she said.
"Well, I believe the kingdom is expecting you to produce a son to be an heir. They have been waiting for one ever since you got here."
Lily felt disgusted. She once again felt like an object that was only for one purpose. "I am not having a baby," she told Belqua firmly. At least not with him, she thought.
He wrapped his arms around her as she let his tongue explore her mouth. They stood there embracing each other taking in the whole ideal. Finally she pulled away from him.
"I have something for you," she said stepping away smiling. She pulled his arm with her.
He smiled back at her, relishing in her radiating beauty. "Alright," he said allowing her to pull him deeper into the woods.
"Back in my home," she began, "across the sea," she added with a smile, "we have an ancient myth about a boy and a girl who fell in love. The boy was a warrior and he was wounded in battle with a poisonous weapon and became unconscious. After failing to awaken, they claimed him dead and he was shipped out to sea."
"Poor guy," he said running a hand down her lower back.
"Don't distract me," she teased in his ear. "Or you won't get what I want to give you."
Similar to Sirius, Andromeda wanted a baby. But like Lily, James wasn't willing to give her one. The discussion of offspring often lead to angry quarrels and James spending the night in a pub drinking to take away his pains.
"Andromeda we've been over this before," James said slowly. "I'm just not ready."
"But why not, James? You've got a stable job. We have a comfortable life in a nice home. I don't understand why you are so against this."
"I just don't want a baby! Can't we drop the subject?"
"No, James! We can't! Not everything is always on your terms."
"Obviously if it wasn't you'd have your bloody kid already."
"Well, maybe I will just do that," she said defiantly.
"How? I don't see you making any sperm."
"Are you that ignorant, James Potter?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that maybe you're not the only one who finds me pretty."
"Great. Now we're fighting like bloody teenagers," he said pouring himself a glass of gin.
"Don't change the subject!" she yelled waving a finger at him.
"What do you mean by that? Are you cheating on me or something?" he asked pouring another glass.
She didn't reply.
"The boy was found by a healer who was able to bring him back. She had to keep him hidden, though, for she was promised to another man. They fell in love, though."
"How touching," he commented nibbling her ear.
"After his health returned, he left her to return home. They were both miserable after being separated but each knew it was for their own good. She was, after all, promised to another man.
"Upon returning to his home land, the boy discovered his older brother, the one about to be king, would be married a week later. The news was shocking to the boy, but even more so when he discovered who the bride would be."
"The girl from across the sea."
She smiled at him. "Exactly."
"Have you ever thought of having children, Lily?" Sirius asked one morning at breakfast.
Lily hesitated at the question. "Children?" she repeated.
"Yes," he said nodding. "Children."
"Er –" she stammered. "No, I haven't, actually."
"Would you consider it?" His voice was sincere and he looked into her eyes.
"Sirius," she began.
"You don't have to decide now," he offered. "Just consider it for me. Please." He smiled hopefully at her.
She couldn't resist smiling back and nodding. "Alright," she said. "I'll consider it." He beamed back at her.
"What did they do then?" he asked, nuzzling his face in her hair. She put her hands around his face and lifted it level with hers. She moved in close to him and kissed him gently.
"They tried to… work around it, you could say."
"How so?" He looked into her green emerald eyes.
"They met with each other secretly, behind the brother's back. They had a secret love affair." She kissed him passionately and slowly making every moment count. He moved his hands around underneath her gown.
"Sounds familiar," he whispered into her ear.
"You're cheating on me?!" he yelled. "Is that what it is?"
"Oh, James, its not like you were completely faithful either. I know you had a girl back home."
"And how did you know that?" he tried.
"You see, unlike you, I wasn't oblivious to the way you looked at me and the way you touched me. I always knew there was someone else on your mind. I always knew it."
"Then why did you marry me?"
She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "Does it matter now, even?" she asked through gritted teeth. "This obviously isn't working out."
He didn't reply but just emptied his glass and walked to the door grabbing his jacket. He opened it and stepped outside slamming the door without saying a word.
"Did the brother ever find out?" he asked, kissing her neck. She moaned lightly and let him continue before answering.
"Yes," she said it so quietly, that even being right next to her, he had to strain to hear her. "Their relationship tore them apart, especially the boy. He felt a sense of loyalty toward his brother and the guilt of sneaking around with his wife bore down upon him."
He let go of her and looked into her eyes. He saw something different in them, this time. Whether it was lust or fear he did not know. "Where are you going with this story?" he whispered, suddenly afraid, himself.
Lily stared out her window and watched as the sun set into the trees. It was time to move on, she told herself. She couldn't think of him forever. It had been four years. He wasn't coming back. She'd never see him again. What was she waiting for?
Sirius entered the room, dressed for bed. He climbed in, and Lily joined him a moment later.
"Have a nice day, today?" he asked her.
"Yes. Did you?"
"I did as well," he replied and turned to blow out the candle that was lighting their room. She watched him as he closed his eyes to fall asleep. "Good night," he murmured, sleepily.
"Good night," she said. A few moments later, she spoke. "Sirius?"
"Yes," he mumbled.
"I've thought about what you asked me and I've decided."
"What's that?" he said, his eyes still closed.
"I'm ready to have children." She said it before she could stop herself. His eyes opened and he turned to her.
"Thank you," he said sincerely, kissing her. She kissed him back with all the feeling she had. And soon the kiss turned into something more and she found herself looking up into Sirius' face and trying all she could not to think of James.
"The brother caught them one night, out in the forest," she continued. "His anger towards his brother and his wife was immeasurable." Her tone was serious now, not the playful, carefree jingle it had been. "He summoned them to death. But the boy miraculously escaped and rescued the girl. They fled into the forest where they tried to live happily.
"The brother found them and condemned the girl to a life in prison and the boy to be hung. Upon seeing his dead body, she became distraught and drank a potion, poisoning herself.
"They were buried next to each other in the forest. The myth says that two trees, honeysuckle and hazel, grow out of their graves and the branches are intertwined. The brother is said to have tried to cut the branches three times but the branches grew back every time. He eventually gave up."
James returned the next morning to find the house silent. "Andromeda?" he called. "Are you here?" There was no answer. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He walked to the bedroom to see that all of her things were gone. He walked back out to the living room and noticed the same thing. Why was this happening? Why couldn't he just be happy with what he had? Why did he have to be tormented constantly with that face from his past? Moments later, the door opened and Andromeda walked in. She didn't greet him.
"Hello," he began. "What happened to all your stuff?"
"I'm leaving," she said abruptly.
"What?" he asked confused. "Where are you going? All your family is back home."
"I'm staying with a friend."
"Its him, isn't it?" he asked. "You're going to him, aren't you?"
"James, please don't do this—" she began.
"Answer me!" he yelled at her. She just shook her head and grabbed a few random objects from the kitchen. "Andromeda!" he continued to yell. "Answer my fucking question!"
"Yes, James!" she bellowed back. "Yes, I'm going to him. I'm going where I am wanted. I'm going where somebody will love me and I can love somebody back. I'm tired of putting out all my heart to you and you stomping away leaving it to grow dust in the corner. I'm tired of looking in your eyes and seeing someone else. I'm going away to someone who loves me. I'm leaving you."
She stomped out of the house and slammed the door. He stood in the middle of the room for a few moments without moving. Her words stung him. He walked slowly to the sofa and collapsed onto it. What had he done?
"The myth says that the boy was from here," she motioned around her, "this country. And also it says that they were buried here." She stepped her foot gently onto the ground they were standing on.
He looked up and saw two large trees with branches so tangled he couldn't tell which branch belonged to which tree. "These are their graves," he said, his voice trailing off into the air.
"I don't want to be that couple," she said turning his face back to hers. "I don't want that fate." He swallowed and nodded, not taking his eyes away from her. "You must promise me," she said taking his hand in hers, "you must promise me that that won't be us."
"I-I don't know if I can promise you that. I love you," he said.
"You have to," she said forcefully. There were voices coming from their trail. They both turned to look. "Please, promise me," she said quickly taking another glance behind her.
"I promise," he replied. She smiled
"I love you, too," she said and kissed him quickly before scurrying away.
Lily entered her chamber one evening to find Sirius staring out the window, solemnly. "Sirius, darling," she said to him. He didn't turn to her, and continued to stare out at the ocean. "Sirius, what's wrong?" she asked and moved over to him. Once she was close to him, he grabbed her waist and pulled her to him. He hugged her belly and rubbed his hand over her newly developed bump.
"He's dead," he murmured. Lily was confused. James flashed before her eyes.
"What do you mean? Who's dead?" she asked.
"Peter," he said. He wasn't crying and there were no tears in his eyes, but he clutched to Lily so hard, that Lily had to pry his hands away from her bodice.
"Come to bed, darling," she said helping him up and walking him to the bed where he laid down and stared up at the ceiling.
He stood alone in the woods. A breeze passed through giving him the chills. The absence of her presence made him cold. His cheek pulsed where she had just put her lips. His hand tingled where she had just let go of him. Or was it something else?
He opened his hand and looked to see a small hazelnut and a honeysuckle she had placed there. He smiled and took a closer look at them. He knew the honeysuckle would dry out, as he was sure she knew too. He inspected the small nut to see each of their initials carved on the side.
James was at work, when he got the letter. Andromeda had been gone for a couple of weeks. She had moved in with some man by the name of Ted Tonks on the other side of town. James would see them occasionally in town, holding hands and laughing. At the first sight of them he'd sulk into the shadows and walk in the opposite direction of them. He was miserable, trying to find any excuse to return home. Finally it came.
It was a letter from Remus saying that Peter had died. He had contracted a rare form of rabies after experimenting on rodents. He had driven himself insane. The funeral would be held when James returned. James couldn't say he was completely devastated by Peter's death. He shed no tears for him, but it just showed James how he had been wasting his life and how he couldn't dwell on the past. He had to move on because there might be no tomorrow.
As James packed his belongings on the eve of his return he came across a small pouch that had been hidden in a book. It had fallen out easily while he moved things around. He opened the small bag curiously, unsure of its contents. He poured them out onto the table. There were only two things inside.
The first thing that rolled out was a small nut. At the sight of this, James knew exactly what else lay inside the bag. He pulled it out carefully, making sure not to break it. He sat it down next to the nut. It was the honeysuckle and the hazelnut. He sighed, sadly as he looked at the objects in front of him. I'm going to move on, he said, placing the honeysuckle carefully back into the pouch. He picked up the nut, but the letters inscribed on it caught his eye. Although he knew what they were, he had stared at them for long hours, on nights long ago; he traced his finger over them as if he had never seen them before. He had never realized it before, but she had used her maiden name on the nut, even though she gave it to him after she was married.
It doesn't matter anyway, he said to himself and put the nut back into the bag. He looked around at a place to put the bag. He couldn't find a safe enough place for it, so he simply stowed it away inside his pocket. It would be safe there, he decided.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was quite fun to write! I hope you enjoyed reading it! I kind of thought of the flashbacks like how they do it in Lost. Lol. Just thought I'd share that. :) Also please, please, please review!