Disclaimer: Me no no have anee FY stuffs kay-kay? I feew wike bebe tawk wight now. Yipee!

Based off da anime version, btw.

I edited it a bit...just put in some more stuff and corrected spelling mistakes and such...yeah.

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Have you ever had one of those beyond crappy days? Believe it or not, I have. Now, I know that might sound a bit odd for me, but after all I am human. I think. Oh. Yep. Definitely human. Did you know that even I get embarrassed? So hard to believe, I agree, seeing as how I hardly ever show any emotion.

Probably the two most embarrassing things in my life: Soi and Tomo. Not only do they still wear the dumb costumes we had to wear on set, but they fight over me in public! I swear, we can be walking down an aisle in Wal-Mart and out of nowhere, "I love you Nakkie-poo."

"No, I do."

"Don't be ridiculous. A mere woman could never fill Nakkie-poo's needs."

"A mere woman?"

"Yes, of course." And lightning will come from the ceiling and collide with Tomo's head. So humiliating, honestly. And in the episode where Tamahome killeed me, I could hear Soi offset yelling, "No! Not my Nakkie-poo! You will pay!" And security will have to come and take her away, and Tomo will start an argument over who loves me most! Also, when we were airing that episode, in the scene when I grabbed Tamahome's hair and pulled his head back, you have no idea how many letters I got from angry Tamahome fangirls who thought I was gonna kiss him and say something corny like, "I love you, that's why I'm going to let you kill me." (Guilty) It was bad enough that I had to flat out kiss him at all! And when I had to kiss Miaka, oh my God! I swear, it seemed as though she had been eating onions right before we started just to bug me! EEW! That's really sad, I mean, don't you think so? And to think that I, the strongest character, was murdered by someone who was in love with an onion eater! Truly honestly embarrassing. Also, I have to be honest. I didn't have very many fans. The alcoholic, the crossdresser, and the monk had tens of thousands of fans each. I would be lucky if I had 500. Hell, TOMO had more fans than I did! It's probably because I was the only bad guy that was 100 Percent Evil. That's why I don't act anymore, nobody will hire me cuz they all think I'm evil. Sure, I'm mean, cruel, some may even call me the 'Male Cruella DeVille'. But 100 Percent EVIL? Don't think so. And even if I was, well...Let's not talk about that.

Now, you wanna know what else is embarrassing? MY TEAM. I mean, come on! I had a freaky-dressing-way-too-much-makeup-wearing-gay-guy, a woman who was practically obsessed with me, a midget, a half-wolf half...whatever...thing, fifteen year old twins who 'only wanted peace' my ass, and then there was myself. Seriously. On the other team, it was a little (Try a ton!) more intimidating. They had an Emperor, a Karate-Master, a Bandit Leader, a man with extraordinary magical powers, a child genuis a doctor with medical knowledge, and a crossdresser with super-humn strength. Do tell me, was that crossdresser a boy or a girl? I could never tell. Or, I could look at them in a more negative way, if I felt like it. A narcisist, a greedy asshole, a hot headed liquor loving egomaniac pyro TEENAGER, a 'monk' that killed his best friend, a 13 year old boy with pink hair and the height of an 8 year old, a sasquatch who may or may not have the ability to talk at all, and a crossdresser with super-human strength. Oh, and if you would like to keep you stomach INSIDE your body, make sure you never ask the sasquatch how many times his ex-girlfriend had died. Don't ask how I know that.

Do you know how embarrassing it was to have Suboshi...walk in on Soi and I? Did you know I was slapped by 15 year old girls on a daily basis? Did you know I once had a dream that a Yu-Gi-Oh! card was made based on me? It was called 'Two-Faced-Dumb-Blonde-That-Crushes-Cute-Little-Yellow-Birdies-With-His-Bare-Hands'. When that happens, you've hit rock bottom, and you know it. Sure, it was only a dream, but, still...

Oi, gotta run, I hear Soi and Tomo coming.

Signed,
Yours Truly,
Nakago

P.S. I hope you know the real me now.
P.S.S. I do not crush cute little yellow birdies with my bare hands. I collect them.

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So, whatdya think? It was kinda short...but I love it. Please R and R!
I did actually have a dream about a Yu-gi-oh! card made based on Nakkie-Poo, but just so you know, I HATE YU-GI-OH!!!