Hello again! Well. This is certainly a ...strage... little fic. I was listening to that damn blink 182 CD again last night. LOL. (And heed in mind that the whole Bratz fiasco was the production of the last time I was listening to that CD. It makes me do weird things! I swear it!) I dreamt it last night, I swear, and then when I woke up I was laughing my ass off. So yeah. Hope ya likey. Review please.

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

A/N: For some reason, I dreamt that Miaka had a british accent.

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"Now, I have called you all here tonight for a very important reason." Miaka was seated gracefully on a thick stair railing in a huge room, eating a big red sucker. Her 4 favorite seishi were gathered around her- Nuriko, Chichiri, Tamahome, and Hotohori.

The latter of the four sighed. "We know, Miaka, you've said that four times now. Any chance you'll actually tell us this important reason?"

Miaka's head shot up. She glared at the Emperor, then threw her big red sucker at his head. "SILENCE! I shall speak when I feel the need to!"

Everybody waited...and waited a bit more.

"Now, I have called you all here tonight for a very important reason. I summoned you all so that I could reveal-"

"What's under your shirt?" Tamahome asked hopefully.

"SILENCE! So that I could reveal...your...destiny. Isn't that cool?"

The seishi nodded.

"First- Nuriko. My dear," The priestess clomp clomp clomped over to him, trying to act sexy. She smiled a sexy smile, her teeth red and sticky.

"Nuriko. You must never speak to anyone again. No, you are never to emit any noise from your vocal chords in any way. You are never to look in a mirror again. You are to wear a straightjacket and no pants when you sleep. You may only take a shower once a week, every monday from 12 PM to 12:03 PM. You must not wash your body and you must only wash your hair with pinecones. You are not to touch any member of the opposite sex, whatever that may be, with any part of your body that is not your big toe. You must be in your bed, asleep, each minute between the hours of 4 PM and 10 AM every day. You must both wake up and fall asleep promptly on those exact minutes. You may only use the bathroom at 3:50 PM, noon, and 10:45 AM. Each time you wish to leave your bedroom, you must draw an elaborate picture of a dancing chimichanga. If you do not follow these guidelines precisely, I will die. Got it?"

Nuriko sadly nodded his head.

"Good. Now, let us make it official."

From out of nowhere, Miaka turned around and pulled the lid off a large silver platter filled with sparkling ashes. Gently, she lifted it over the man's purple head and poured them on him.

"Now shoo, it's almost 4."

After watching Nuriko run off, she turned to Hotohori, who was wide eyed.

"Priestess, why would you do that? Nuriko is a great man...thing."

"SILENCE! Hotohori. Your fate shall be the same as Nuriko's."

She turned around and removed the lid off yet another large silver platter, but there were no ashes. She seemed to take no notice of this, though, and lifted it over the Emperor's head. Then, she used all her strength and rammed it into the top of his head. He fell to the floor, motionless. Miaka smiled.

She looked over at the two remaining seishi, Tamahome and Chichiri. Both were terror-stricken and shaking. She put her sexy smile back on.

"Oh Tamahome..." The priestess stood within two inches of him. "What do you think is your destiny?"

The navy haired seishi forced a grin. "I get to be with you forever?"

"Silly Tama-kins," She said, poking him on the nose. "But we do love eachother oh so much, after all."

He smiled. He knew she wouldn't do anything to him. She loved him.

Taking comfort in this idea, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. Her smile widened. It now looked almost like a Barbie-Doll smile...

...Totally fake.

Tamahome jumped back at the sight of it. "What are you going to do to me?!" Miaka just stood there, that freaky smile on her face.

He continued to back up untill he reached the wall. In the blink of an eye, Miaka pulled out a gun and pointed it at him.

"I love you, Tamahome." BAM! She shot off his left arm. BAM! His right arm. He fell to the ground, screaming and writhering.

Chichiri was now terrified beyond belief.

"Hey Chichiri, your destiny is as follows- Head down to the nearest Wal-Mart, buy groceries and something nice for yourself. Remember to buy something kinky, cuz it's our special night tonight." She gave him a long kiss and then he smiled and left.

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That was pretty much the dream, but I think that there was something about Miaka transforming into Yui and then back. It was soooo weird lol. Please review.

Is this not what I get for listening to blink 182 in my sleep?