AN: I know I suck; I'm not even going to try and explain why it's been so long. I am going to try and continue this story however, so per usual: please read and review.

PS: Still need a BETA.

Eternal Night

4. Explanations

I lay completely still on the bed. Edward looked from me to the door and back,

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

I stared up at him with a stony expression. I'm not sure if I really want to do that. I took in a deep breath and blinked slowly. When I opened my eyes Edward was nowhere to be seen. A slight panic rose up in the base of my stomach but was diminished when he reappeared in front of me, phone in hand.

I continued to stare at him and he began to shake the phone in his hand.

"Bella, come on, what are you doing?"

The confusion etched across his face made me begin to force my confession out of my mouth. I was scared that it would be Renée. My thought stayed in my head however because Edward's sleek thumb flickered down onto the talk button and a light voice was now echoing throughout the room.

"Hello? Hell-oo?"

My face paled as the voice reached my ears and Edward's mouth fell into an O shape. He looked deep into my eyes like a child that had been caught doing something he had been told naught. As hard as it was to I reached out a slightly trembling hand to take the phone, grazing his cool fingers as did. The familiar touch seemed to jog my brain back into a semi-functioning state.

"Hello?"

"Bella its mom, what took you so long?" Her voice was rushed as normal but had a slightly irritated tone.

"Sorry, I just- you know I kind of-" But I was cut off mid ramble.

"You know what? It's not even important. We need to have a serious chat you and I." Her voice switched into the parental tenor I seldom heard growing up. She must be very angry. My hand went to my stomach and began rubbing small circles in a futile attempt to calm down the bubbling nausea that seemed to have emerged from my conscience.

"Okay."

"Charlie called and told me about that motorcycle you seemed to have deemed worthy of safe recreation." I didn't even respond to this, every possible word I could have said seemed to be locked up in my throat. I curled my knees up to my chest and locked my free arm around them.

"Well?" She asked sternly. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out were my hurried breathes into the receiver of the phone, creating a raspy static. Edward gently picked up my curled form and placed me in his own lap. His chest moved in and out against my back, a reminder of his promise. I inhaled shakily and swallowed before responding.

"I don't have an excuse, just and explanation that I don't think you would understand. Even if I told you it just wouldn't be enough for you to comprehend what made me make that horrible decision. I know that I disappointed you, Charlie, and a few other people, but at the time it seemed right."

"So Edward knows about this then?"

"Yes."

"Does he know that this is his fault entirely?" Edward's chin which had been resting on my shoulder drew back and his hands paused for a brief second before resuming their gentle massage of my arms. I felt my anger begin to prickle in the corners of my eyes bust forced it back.

"Mom, my decision to act recklessly cannot be pinned on him no matter how you try to reason it so don't." I snapped back at her. Renée was silent, but not for long.

"We haven't ever had to worry about you doing anything rash until you met that boy. You have always been responsible and now you are being careless with your life, he has no right to be anywhere near-"

"STOP." My retort came out much louder than I had intended making Edward flinch slightly, Renée's angry breathing was coming in loud and clear over the phone line. After a moment I began again.

"Sorry for yelling, but I need you to understand something. I made that decision and me alone. I also love Edward more than anything in the entire world and nothing is going to change that. I told you that you wouldn't understand if I tried to explain why I did what I did but you can't blame him. We both know I messed up and in all honesty it was bound to happen at some point." I myself was shocked by this little tirade. My mind blanked when I thought of what else to say so I waited. Her sigh was almost imperceptible, but her voiced carried over softer than it had been before.

"I know that you love him Bella, just be careful ok? I'll call Charlie and tell him his punishment is sufficient."

"Thank you mom." Renée didn't even respond before clicking off. I looked down at the phone for a few seconds before shutting it off. Exhaustion seemed to trickle over my body like being in a shower; dripping down until every muscle felt it. I slumped back against Edward and wrapped my own arms over his which were positioned around my waist. I closed my eyes and we sat there motionless and silent for minutes before he broke it.

"You're amazing you know?" I just grunted in return regulating my breathing to match his. He kissed the top of my head and laid his cheek against my hair. After a while I forced myself to open my eyes and glanced at the clock.

"I need to make dinner." Without a word he picked me up effortlessly and carried my down the stairs. I didn't even try and convince him to put me down but instead nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck. When we entered the kitchen he placed my feet gingerly on the tile floor before stepping back to allow me to move freely.

Instead of sitting down at the table and watching like he normally does he stood awkwardly next to it. As I moved between the counter and the refrigerator I noticed his eyes flash between me, the table, and the stove several times. After a minute of him still not sitting down I pivoted to face him, a bag of small red potatoes in my arms.

"Is something wrong?" His eyes darted up to meet mine and held my gaze. Flickers of emotions seemed to light up in his topaz orbs like lightning. Confusion, longing, love, and nervousness? Finally he seemed to settle on determined.

"May I help you?" I stood there and regarded him for a second. Why would he want to help me cook dinner? But rather than ask I nodded my head and turned back to the counter.

I gave him simple instructions for washing and cutting the potatoes. When he saw me grab my own knife from the drawer he grimaced before I retorted his silent objection of being able to handle chopping without killing myself. Edward being Edward was done in a flash and then looked at me expectantly. I tried to explain to him that cooking is more of a relaxing type of thing so when he was given the task of peeling and cutting carrots he went at a more human pace. We worked silently with just the sound of our handiwork filling the room.

When we were about half way through the prep work I decided to ask him a question that had been in the back of my mind since the other day.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" I bit my lip in hesitation. He turned his body slightly so that he was facing me straight on, his eyes boring into mine expectantly. The intensity of his gaze made my mind slow down to a snails pace; I was only snapped out of it when he reached up a hand and brushed my face, a small smirk brandishing his own.

"Why didn't you move out of the way when Mike punched you?" His face immediately transformed into embarrassment and anger. Misjudging the expression, I said,

"Sorry, you don't have to answer if you don't want." I made to turn back towards the counter but his chilly hands wrapped around my own and held me still.

"No, no. I'm not angry with you." He rolled his eyes slightly and gave an exasperated sigh. "It's just this stupid child walking around with bravado thinking he can change anything by throwing around insults. Its ridiculous that he thought talking to me like that was going to make either of us change the way we fell about each other, he's just a malevolent little-"

I held up one finger to his lips and he stopped speaking. His eyes had gotten progressively darker as he spoke. I placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him down so that our eyes were level. We stared at one another as his face slipped back into a calm formation.

"I wanted him to get hurt." He stated in a flat voice. His eyes searched mine, begging for understanding. And I did. I moved forward until my forehead was resting against his.

"I know that it's hard to deal with hearing what he is saying to you- and in his head," I added on, "but you can't just allow him to break his bones. That was dangerous for him and for you. What if someone besides Alice, Jasper, or I had seen? You could get in even more trouble with the Volturi. And you would have to leave… or…" I broke off and breathed steadily for a moment before continuing. "Look. My place is beside you, it always has been and it always will be. You know that; it shouldn't matter if Mike Newton doesn't understand that, that's his problem. I love you. I need you to tell me that you won't let something like that happen again. If not for me or yourself, think about you family. Do you really want them to have to pack up and move sooner than necessary?"

Edward looked slightly ashamed but regardless he nodded his head against mine. I gave him a small smile and he moved forward and gave me a quick kiss. He pulled back and resumed his cutting. My heartbeat was erratic and when I tried to go back to my own cutting the knife slipped and narrowly missed my finger. Edward's hand flashed out and took the knife; his chest lay still without breath entering his lungs. My hands curled around the edge of the counter as I regained my composure, when I was steady again I held my hand out for the knife and glared at Edward when he hesitated in handing it back to me.

We finished cooking dinner in peace. Around seven thirty Edward sped to the table placing the napkins he had been holding there, kissed me, than disappeared. I was shocked but then I heard the tires of the cruiser crunching onto the driveway. He stumbled into the kitchen and exclaimed,

"It smells great in here Bells. You don't have to cook all the time you know." His mood was polar opposite to what it had been this morning, but I wasn't going to ask why or complain. We ate in silence, when we were finished I rose from my chair to clear the table but Charlie shooed me off upstairs.

When I entered my bedroom after brushing my teeth I just looked at Edward incredulously. He stared back and after a few seconds of frowning, not being able to read my mind, asked what I was thinking.

"Why is he so happy?" Edward chuckled and patted the space on the bed beside where he sat. I went over and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. "There haven't been sightings of those monstrous bears for about two weeks." The word monstrous came out a bit more sharply than I'm sure he meant I to but I ignored that. I immediately pushed all thoughts of Jacob out of my head.

I checked my email and did some homework while Edward watched me from my bed. He lay with his hands behind his head and feet crossed at the ankles, his head tilted in my direction. Every time I looked at him he stared back with an enamored expression which made me blush. Whenever the color rose in my face he smiled slightly.

Around nine as I was getting out of the shower I heard the phone ring. I changed quickly as I heard Charlie's voice raise for a few seconds. I snuck quietly into my bedroom and asked Edward whom he was speaking to; Renée.

"Bella, I have to go for a bit, Alice called. But I'll be right back I promise. Charlie is going to want to speak to you in a minute anyway and I'm sure he doesn't want to see me here." I nodded and with a light kiss he had vanished through the window seconds later.

I sat on my bed and combed out my hair waiting for the moment Charlie would come up. Finally I heard his tired feet trudge up the stair case and stop briefly outside my room. He knocked.

"Come in" Charlie opened the door and stepped partially into the room. His face, so content before, had a massive grimace placed upon it.

"I just spoke to your mom." He stopped and breathed in deeply. "She thinks your punishment is enough, which I agree with. What I don't agree with however is a small stipulation she has decided is necessary." Oh no. "Renée wants you to be able to see… to be able to see-" He stopped again and was making a visible effort to calm himself. "Edward." He finished.

Light poured into the window, doves flew around my bedroom, symphonic music played gallantly in the background… ok, no. But it may as well have because the feeling of elation inside of me was so powerful I nearly fell off the side of the bed. I tried to hide my joy but a small smile crept onto my face anyway. Charlie spotted this and added quickly,

"That doesn't mean that he is going to be around here all the time Bella. You are still grounded. He can come for an hour every other day, while I am home. That boy is not allowed within a hundred meters of this house if I am not here, is that understood?"

I nodded fervently and he sighed again and turned out of the room shutting the door lightly behind him. A few minutes later Edward climbed back through the window and I jumped on him smiling like an idiot.

"What has got you so happy now?" He asked smiling hugely in front of me. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and his face was inches away. I explained quickly about what Renée had told Charlie to do and Edward kept smiling but asked me how that would be different form any other day. I placed a hand on either side of his face and whisper screamed,

"Because it means she doesn't hate you!" My smile never faltered as I said it and he just smiled again and locked eyes with me.

"You're beautiful." He stated in a very matter of fact tone. When I rolled my eyes he touched my face.

"You Isabella Swan are beautiful. I love you, so even if you are going to be blind and not recognize it yourself, humor me?" I stared at him for a moment. Even if I didn't think I was beautiful I could try to recognize that I was beautiful to him. I just smiled again and hugged myself to his chest. He leaned back onto the bed and drew the covers over the two of us. We lay there entwined with each other. I was almost asleep when I remembered something.

"Edward?"

"Yes my love?"

"What did Alice want?" He hesitated for a minute and that made me lean up on an elbow and peer into his face, with his eyes closed I could not detect what he was hiding.

"You'll see tomorrow." He lifted his arm again and after a moment I snuggled back underneath it.

♦

Driving to school the next day I racked my brain as to what Alice could possibly be planning. All of my attempts to get Edward to tell me were pointless; he wouldn't even give me a hint. He pulled into a parking space towards the back of the lot, to sit privately for a few minutes before we had to head inside. I turned toward Edward and stared deeply into his eyes. Maybe I would be able to dazzle him into telling me. Fat chance; but it's worth a shot. I stroked his face from his temple along his jaw line; I leaned in closer and allowed my breath to cascade into his face. He breathed deeply and his eyes took on a clouded haze.

"Now; what is Alice planning?" He blinked a few times and leaned closer to graze my lips with his own. Now my mind was starting to become foggy. What am I trying to get him to do?

"She's taking us to-" his raspy response was cut off by a thud on the windshield. We both snapped back and turned to see the disturbance. Alice was standing there clad in her pink raincoat with black heels, hands on her hips, glaring at the two of us. She stomped gracefully over to the drivers' side window and when it was rolled down she stuck her head in.

"Bella, that's not fair. You're just going to have to wait." She said sternly. The color began to rise in my cheeks and I looked out my window ashamed. I saw Edwards hand out of my peripheral vision sneak over the console to my own, but before it reached Alice spoke up again.

"And You!" Our heads instantly were directed to her again. "You do not tell her. You promised. Got it?" Edward rolled his eyes and nodded his head. With that she smiled politely and pranced off to meet Jasper near the front door. We sat in silence for a minute, than Edward turned to me and said accusingly,

"You dazzled me." My face began to burn a deep red and my hand fumbled on the door handle to let myself out. The second my foot was out of the car Edward was picking me up and shutting the door himself. He began to walk towards the school. He bent his face down towards my own.

"Not that I didn't enjoy it, of course." I blushed again and buried my head in his chest. I mumbled into his body,

"Please put me down." He stopped walking and set me on my feet but held onto my hand. We walked into the building three together and into class.

♦

Right before lunch I had to suffer through gym class. Indoor soccer is what they called the torture today. I tripped a few times while jogging down the court and the one time I kicked the ball, my teammate thought I was someone else and passed to me; it hit Lauren in the shoulder. As if she didn't hate me enough already.

When I entered the locker room I had to pass her in order to reach my locker. She jabbed an elbow into my arm which hurt, I glared at her but kept my mouth shut. As I opened my locker a small box fell out onto the floor. Everyone was watching as I picked it up to see what it was. Just as I read the print my jaw dropped open and Alice stormed into the locker room. I looked up at her shock written on my face but she just shoved past Lauren took my hand and led me out of the locker room and into a nearby bathroom.

Tears were trickling down my face. The pregnancy test was still in my hands, the cardboard box bending in on the sides from where I was squeezing it. Alice pried my fingers off and threw it into the trashcan. I crossed m arms over my chest and bent my head down, getting control over my tear ducts. How come I have to cry like this all the time?

"I don't understand why she hates me so much. Either of them actually. I know why Jess is angry but you'd think she would be over that by now." Alice didn't respond but handed me a tissue. A few silent moments passed.

"You know what? I'll tell you why I called Edward home last night I think. You know how I am going to take you shopping tonight?" I had forgotten about that. My hand unintentionally reached up to rub my forehead as I nodded. "Well I wanted to tell him that I found this great bookstore. And he has decided to tag along. Its not big news or anything important but we thought you would enjoy a break from clothes shopping to do something you will enjoy."

A smile crept onto my face and I reached forward and drew Alice into a hug. As I threw my tissue into the trashcan Alice tossed her delicate hands in the air and exclaimed,

"Now lets' go to lunch, I'm starving!" I started cracking up as I looked up at her sheer topaz eyes.

"I'm sure they'll save you a piece of pizza." We were laughing as we came into the lunchroom. When I sat down Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. I made a small movement to get back into my own chair and his arms dropped and his face flashed hurt for a second before he compiled his features and stared forward, face frozen. I opened my mouth to apologize but his eyes flashed to the left where Alice was sitting. I somehow knew she was telling him what happened without speaking out loud. And I knew I was right as his jaw locked and a small growl emanated from his chest. The table took on an air of calm and I glanced over at Jasper who was staring down Edward with a stern face.

"Hey," When he looked down at me I continued. "Don't worry about it." He opened his mouth to contradict me but I just shook my head. He stared at me then sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. Its amazing how someone who has been alive for almost one hundred years can act like a child.

After school I saw him heading towards the door to wait for me. I snuck out of the classroom and began to run as lightly as I could down the hall. I passed an air vent and he turned around, his eyes searching the hallway packed with students, with a confused look on his face. He found me just as I was launching myself up at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. His hands went to my back to support me.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Cautioning him with my eyes I kissed him on the lips my hands creeping up to tangle in his hair. He placed me back on the ground but his hands remained on my hips.

"You are driving me crazy." I smiled at him and began walking out to his car.

The trip up to Port Angeles was short compared to the time it had taken Jessica and me to get there. Alice was talking up a storm about various things and had me laughing all the time as Edward drove; a small smile on his face. As I was dragged into clothing store after clothing store I absolutely refused to let her buy me anything; which she did anyway. For about an hour during the trip Edward disappeared and wouldn't tell me where he had gone when he came back.

The last store we stopped at was the bookstore. It was on the edge of the block closest to the boardwalk so you could see the ocean clearly. We went in and atmosphere of the small shop was amazing. The lights were low, and there were a small tables set up next to the windows. One had a selection of classics on it. When I turned to give a questioning glance at Edward I noticed Alice was gone. He placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me over to the table.

"I picked out a few you might like, but you should have a look around anyway, this is a very good store."

He pointed towards the chair that was ajar from the table, ready to be sat in. I sat down and sifted through the pile. There were several from Jane Austen and some more modern novels from Salinger among others. I picked up one worn copy of Emma by Austen.

"I'm going to get this one, I think." Edward looked down at me with a frown on his face.

"Bella, I got all those for you already." My face reddened immediately and I stood, replacing the book on the table.

"I told you to stop buying me stuff. You have to return them."

"No I don't, and you're being ridiculous. You love to read and I got them for you."

"Well thank you for thinking of it but I do not want you spending your money on me." He opened his mouth but I cut him off. "I know you have a lot but I don't want you wasting it on me or whatever, you know-" He put a slender finger over my lips and got very close to my face. The scent of his skin made me lightheaded, my brain was instantly incoherent.

"Bella, please." My brain was moving at a snail's pace trying to figure out what exactly I was nodding my head to. A smirk crept onto his face as he piled books in his arms and led me back out of the store. After a few minutes of walking back to the car my mind caught up.

"That was NOT fair!" Edward had been lost in his own thoughts and seemed shocked by my outburst. Alice came out of no where and was instantly at my side.

"Come on Bells we're going home to have a sleepover, well, you'll sleep. Not the point. Let's go!" She grabbed my hand and practically dragged my over to the waiting Volvo.

The entire ride home I refused to look at Edward. Alice picked up on my still sour mood and didn't try to engage me in conversation. He kept glancing my way and his hands tightened on the steering wheel a few times. The speed he was driving at was increasing and I was death gripping the safety handle on the door, knuckles white. When we pulled off the dark road onto their deserted driveway and parked my hand was sore from holding on. Alice got out of the car instantly and jet up the stairs to where Jasper was waiting. Alice had a hold of his hand but he stood and stared down at the Volvo which we were still buckled into.

Our tense little bubble seemed to deflate a small amount but was still strong. Alice's loose hand was flapping around as she spoke to him and she finally just gave up and yanked him into the house.

Edward sat with his hands in his lap, eyes glued to them, like his thumbs were suddenly the most interesting things in the world. I huffed out some air and got out of the car. I went to walk around the back of it and into the house but Edward was suddenly there making me stumble from surprise. He caught and steadied me. I crossed my arms over my chest forcing him to move his hands.

"You can't just do that all the time Edward" I spoke quietly.

"I wasn't going to let you fall Bella" He replied.

"That's not what I'm talking about." When I didn't say anything further he asked me what specifically I was referring to. "You can't just buy me things, Edward. We are already unequal and when you do stuff like that the scale is even less balanced. I don't want all this material stuff and you know that, I just want you. Period. End of story." A few traitor tears leaked from my eyes. I tried to play it off by wiping them on my sleeves as I brought my hands to my hair to re-do my ponytail.

"Bella don't-" He stopped himself. His pale hand drifted up to my face and rubbed my cheek lightly. The moonlight gave him an aura of angelic proportions as he stepped towards me and engulfed me in a tight embrace. "I'll try not to, really. I just want you to know how much I love you. I would do anything for you Bella. Absolutely anything." He breathed in deeply and leaned his head back so he was looking at the sky. He mumbled to himself something that I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear in that tone but did. "Just marry me already would you?"

I had been working out the perfect time to tell him I would accept his proposal. I'd been racking my brain for the past few days trying to come up with some majestic plan. I could keep my mouth shut right now and not let him know I heard him. I should wait until I can surprise him.

"I will." My voice broke through the night air like fire through ice. I wasn't even aware I had said it out loud until he looked down at me in shock.

"What?" I looked into his beautiful eyes and stepped up onto my tippy toes, bringing my mouth right to his ear.

"I will marry you." I whispered. His hands flew up to his hair which he grabbed between his fingers in small bunches. His eyes danced with light but were still guarded.

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Yes." I said smiling. His answering smile was massive. He picked me up and spun me around. He set me down and was shaking his hands down at his sides, suddenly filled with energy. He sprinted off in a blur and a few seconds was in front of me on one knee still smiling like I had never seen him before. I closed my eyes as he took hold of my hand and slipped the ring on.

"This doesn't count because I bought it a long time ago okay?" I nodded and opened my eyes. A plain white gold band with a diamond and smaller brown diamonds on either side shone in the moonlight. After a long silent moment I chocked out a thank you. He picked me up and ran up vampire speed to his room.

He lay on the couch with me sprawled out on top of him stroking my hair, still smiling. I had never been as sure of my decision as I was at that moment. No matter how hard it will be I can remember this.

"You know," His voice cut our silence, "Alice is just about bursting right now. She's yelling at me in my head to tell the family so she can… release her excitement." I laughed lightly into his chest.

"Alright then"

"Can everyone come up here for a moment please." He spoke in a normal conversational voice. Within seconds the room had filled with Esmé, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper who was smiling, and a bouncing Alice. Edward sat up and repositioned me on his lap with one hand on my shoulder and one on my leg.

"Bella," He smiled and kissed me on the cheek, "has agreed to marry me." Esmé's face burst into a smile almost as big as Edwards had been. Alice let out a small yelp of joy and hugged Jasper ferociously.

"It's about time." Said Emmett bluntly, only to be elbowed by Rosalie who turned back to me and gave me a small smile.

"Congratulations you two." Carlisle said as he wrapped an arm around Esmé whose eyes shone with tears that could never be spilt.

They all vacated the room a minute or two later.

"I'll be right back." He reluctantly dropped his arms and let me get up. I went into his bathroom and changed into the pajamas Alice had left me there. I brushed my teeth and hair and returned to his room.

I fell asleep to the sound of my lullaby being hummed to me, every note reverberating through his chest against my cheek.

Ah! This took me SO long to write, I need to organize my mind!

Songs (6):

Ripchord - Rilo Kiley

A Certain Romance - Arctic Monkeys

So Damn Clever - Plain White T's

Beating Heart Baby - Head Automatica

Warning - Incubus

My December - Linkin Park