Why does it always seem like no matter what we do,
It's never good enough?
And why does it seem like when I least want anyone in my face,
Someone's always there?
Being called into the captain's office isn't exactly what I'd call new,
But this is ridiculous, and I'm starting to wonder what the hell defense attorneys are paid for
'Cause right now, they sure as hell don't seem worth their paycheck.
I'd love to know when those lackeys of theirs
Turned into detectives, digging up information on anything, and anyone
And sure, my department stuff might be public, but my home life,
That's off limits and always has been, as far as I'm concerned, and…
Suddenly it's not, and I hate that vulnerable feeling…
Knowing that someone else knows about my family, about me, without
Any one of us saying that it's all right, because it's not.
And of course it all comes out in front of her.
In front of my partner, and I feel almost like an idiot, but of course,
I'm too damn stubborn to admit it, like I was that day three years ago when she told me
That I was gonna screw it all over if I kept bottling it all in,
And I did, and now this has happened, and she comes after me,
Like I knew she would, and asks what's going on, and so I tell her,
"Kathy left me."
The words hurt worse than the paper did, and I wonder why this is,
Because it doesn't really make sense that it would, but it does,
And now I'm left to pick up the pieces of what's left,
Not that I can find anything, because I don't want to look…
Actually, I do, but I don't, because
I'm not altogether too sure that there's anything left to find,
And that's what scares the hell out of me.
So when I'm given a warning because of those
Ridiculous accusations, it almost makes me laugh, because
Whatever that girl said I did, I didn't, and suddenly, it's going to trial, and
It's like the jury can't decide who to believe, either, and I leave before the verdict is read
Because suddenly I'm tired of it all, and I want to go home, so I do.
And all the lights are off, and it's still a bit early, so a startled feeling settles over me.
And when I turn the key in the lock, it hits me that nobody's there.