A/N

I had a tough time trying to think of how to keep the story going. I already have then ending all planned out… I'll spill the beans a little by telling you that this story will probably end with fifteen chapters, give or take a chapter or two.

Okay, no more bean-spilling!

My lips are sealed!

Well, not literally, because then it would be very hard to talk.

But you know what I mean.

Right?

xoxo

Chapter Ten

It had been three days since the break-up.

I was unaware of the time passing by, like sand slipping through my fingers.

I spent the days oblivious of what time, day, month, or even what day it was.

I just loitered about on my bed, shuffling songs on my iPod; reading a book, only to chuck it across the room when it got boring; and mostly just lying there, under my blanket, trying to become a snail and cut myself off from the world in which I felt too bare.

I ate, though I wasn't hungry. I drank, though I wasn't thirsty. I even watched a bit of TV with Rebecca, though my mind was wandering somewhere other than the island on which the survivors were stranded in "Lost."

I just simply didn't care.

When my mom asked me about why I wasn't at Susan's studio the day before, I lied that they were closed due to Susan being sick.

Hey, I might have been temporarily absent from reality for the past couple of days, but I wasn't as tactless as to go back to art class at the risk of facing David.

xoxo

"Gosh, you could have told me," Lucy said one day, closing the door of my bedroom before her.

I stuck my head out from under my shell, I mean, blanket, and inquired in a dull tone, "Tell you what?"

"Oh please," Lucy said annoyed, dismissing my question with a wave of her hand, "I'm not as out-of-touch as mom and dad are to not notice that you're either having some Guinness-record-PMS, or going through post-break-up."

Sheesh, leave it to your sister-who-has-read-every-Cosmo-issue-ever-published to undermine your secret for becoming a human hermit crab.

In a more concerned tone, Lucy asked, "Why did you guys break up? David's, like, gaga for you, and he's never given you reason for you to break up with him."

Hmm, that's a good question, Lucy. Why did we break up? Possibly because of the fact that my stupid frisson decided to go dormant, causing me to perhaps, mistakenly, believe that I fell out of love with David, and he found out, and now he hates and loathes me for pity-dating him and wasting both of our times? Or was it because of something else?

Who cares? We've broken up! That's what matters! Who gives a thought to the cause? It's the effect that counts!

But of course, I wasn't going to tell Lucy any of this.

I looked at Lucy, trying to think of what I was going to say instead, but saw Lucy staring at me with her mouth hanging open.

"What?" I asked.

"You… fell… out… of… love… with… David?" Lucy questioned slowly, her jaw still not closed.

"How do you…" I was about to ask… then with horror and shock, I realized that I had just said my whole previous rant out loud. I had unconsciously been talking to myself out loud, without even knowing it, right in front of Lucy.

Well, there was a sign telling me it was about time to pay a visit to the sanitarium, was it not? Symptoms of lunacy number one: talking to oneself out loud, without even being aware of it.

"I… I…" I groped, trying to find the words that would not form on my tongue.

Then suddenly, Lucy hugged me real tightly.

I was thinking of pulling back… when I abruptly realized that a hug was something I had needed these days. I had been so lonely, with no one to turn to for help, and here was Lucy now, ready to listen and offer guidance… ready to be here for her little sister.

I hugged Lucy back, and out of nowhere, tears were pooling in my eyes. Those tears that hadn't come during my solitude under my blanket came rushing out at once, and I was now crying into my sister's Hollister tank top.

xoxo

Lucy gently pulled away, and handed me a Kleenex.

Still crying, I choked out, "I don't know why I fell out of love with him. The frisson was there as always, and one day, it was just gone. And now I hear from Rebecca that frissons can be dormant and I don't even know if I love him or not. But of course, that won't matter since he hates me now. And though I might not love him anymore, I still want to be friends… I don't even know my own feelings anymore!"

Lucy listened to all this rambling and sobbing patiently, and after handing me another Kleenex, she opened her mouth. "Well, I know it's really tough for you right now, Sam. But before you can handle anything with David, you have to sort yourself out first. I guess it all boils down to… do you love him now?"

"I told you, I don't know!" I half-yelled in frustration. My crying epidemic was now nearing an end, and its sequel of hiccups were taking place. "Lucy, how do you know if you love someone?"

Lucy bit her lip at this question. Then she hesitantly answered, "Well, I…" She met my eyes and answered apologetically, "To be honest with you, Sam, I don't know."

"But… you must know! Don't you love Jack?" I cried out desperately.

"I don't know... I really don't know what proof is there that I love Jack… I just… do," Lucy replied, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Sam, I really can't help you decide that. This is something you'll have to figure out on your own."

I sighed. There was only so much Lucy could help with concerning my romance issues. "Well, thanks, Lucy. I still really appreciate it that you're here for me… even though… you know… you couldn't help me figure out the last bit."

Lucy smiled sadly and gave me one last hug. "Just come to me whenever you feel lonely, all right?"

I nodded and smiled weakly.

And Lucy left the room, closing the door behind her and leaving me to ponder my problems in quiet solitude.

xoxo

The next day, I was surfing the net. Thank goodness it was Saturday. The house was so quiet due to Rebecca sleeping over at her friend's house, Lucy going shopping with mom, and my dad golfing with his friends. I had peace and quiet. Well, Theresa was here doing work as usual, but she never bothered me anyways.

Of course, I didn't really have a certain purpose going on the internet. I was absentmindedly clicking away, opening random bits of news articles on closing it, opening a new one, closing it, and so on.

Suddenly a pop-up advertisement blinked on the screen.

It read:

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.

-Chesterton-

Prevent your marriage from going awry by seeing one of our professional marriage counselors right away! Find a way to escape divorce!

For more information, visit our webpage:

Click here!

I closed the window without thinking much.

But even after the ad had been deleted, the quote lingered in my mind.

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.

I rolled my eyes and pushed the thought out of my mind.

This whole David thing was occupying too much of my life.

Feeling a need to get out of the house and get some fresh air, I told Theresa that I was going to the park and left the house.

Of course, I didn't really go to the park.

Nah. I took the metro and wandered into the city where Susan's studio and Static was located. But I didn't really linger by Susan's, just in case she happened to spot me and started to question me about my absence yesterday.

I had fifteen bucks with me.

First, I treated myself to a snack from Capitol Cookies. Then, I went to an art supply store called Artiste and bought myself a new, spankin'… drawing pen.

Yeah, I'm an art geek… so sue me. Those pens are pretty expensive, you know… I mean, $9.99 for one pen!

I was planning out all the cool manga I could draw with the pen, when I suddenly become conscious of the fact that I wasn't thinking about David.

Sure, he was still in the corner of my mind, taking a stroll of his own around my brain to torment me… but still, I wasn't, like, preoccupied with him.

Who needs David? What's the point of crying over spilled milk? He and I are broken up whether my frisson returns or not… and who knows? Maybe we can even be friends again!

Now uplifted at the thought, I wandered over to Burger Palace. I still had about three bucks; that was enough for a burger.

The neon lights of a picture of a burger and fries welcomed me to Burger Palace. I was about to saunter in when I saw something through the store windows that made me stop dead in my tracks.

There was David, inside the Burger Palace, eating… but he wasn't alone.

A girl was sitting across from him. A blonde girl. She was tall, skinny, and very attractive. She looked like the perfect girl for David.

She wasn't David's sister. David was an only child. Somehow, it angered me to see them together.

They were talking, eating burgers and fries… then suddenly, the blonde girl got up.

She went over to David's side of the table, sat down close to him, and hugged him.

My mouth fell open in shock. What are you doing, David, pull away! Tell her you're my boyfriend! Just then, I was reminded that David wasn't my boyfriend anymore.

Still, my heart was gripped by anxiety as I expected David to gently pull away, explaining that he had just broken up and wasn't ready to meet a new girl yet.

At first David, just sat there, being embraced by this blonde girl… then he lifted his arms… and he hugged her back.

He rested his head on her shoulder and held her close, as she tenderly stroked his head.

xoxo

I abruptly turned on my heels and walked away before David could look up from his passionate embrace and see me watching him. My brain wasn't really working. It was my feet that knew where to go. Thanks to my wonderful feet, I got on the metro and rode back home.

It was only when I locked myself in my room that my emotions caught up with me.

A little creature inside my chest clambered out from its home, picked up a hammer twice its size, and struck my heart with all its might.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Until my heart became blue and purple with bruises, sending ripples of pain with each pulse.

I was just so hurt. Seeing David there in the arms of another girl made me feel like I was completely shunned out of his life, with no chance of ever regaining my place.

And there was a pang of a different emotion. Another tiny creature tugging at the corner of my heart for attention.

Hello, little fella, what's your name? I've already met your friend, Heartbreak. He wounded my heart with that hammer.

The pipsqueak piped back, My name is Jealousy.

Jealousy.

How I would give anything to have traded places with that girl. To have a chance to hold David and apologize for everything.

How I longed to slap her across the face for even getting within a mile of David.

I was going to lose him. Completely.

Suddenly, I heard the voice of another being. The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.

The voice was much smaller than those of its predecessor's

Who are you? Is it you, Heartbreak? Or is it Jealousy.

Two voices replied in unison. No, we're neither. We're much weaker than them, but still equally important.

What are your names?

We're siblings. Our names are hope and love.

xoxo

A/N

Did you like my figurative speech with the portrayal of emotions as tiny beings? I hope I didn't confuse you.

Sam is beginning to have serious second thoughts!

Do you think David should take her back?

I haven't been getting nearly as many reviews as I'd like. Please R & R!