Chapter 5 It's not you- It's me
Minkus walked down the block imaging he had the guts to really piss off his parents. He wanted to tell them that he had been out with Shawn and Cory and Topanga. He wanted to tell them he had been drinking. He wanted to lie to them, shock them, offend them. He wanted to make up something that would just horrify them.
He wanted to see if his father would jump down his throat the way he did when Minkus got less than a perfect score on a test if Minkus told him he was sleeping with Shawn. Or if his mother's face would look more heart-broken than it did when he forgot to put the toilet seat down if he told her that he'd gotten Topanga pregnant and they were moving to Wales to live on a matriarchal commune where they worshiped the Goddess and grew their own food.
He sighed angrily as he wiped his shoes on the welcome mat outside the front door. You had to carefully wipe your feet before you could come inside the house and then you had to set your shoes side by side next to the other shoes in the front closet. His mother mopped the foyer floor every morning right before she moved all the shoes outside and vacuumed the inside of the closet. Then she swept the front step and carefully put all the shoes back. She washed the welcome mat every Tuesday afternoon.
Minkus walked in the front door, exasperatedly took off his shoes and set them in the closet and gave his immaculate living room a poisonous look. He hated every sparkling inch of this house.
In Topanga's living room plants overflowed their pots in every corner. Laundry (occasionally of an intimate nature) hung unembarrassed in the open windows to dry on breezy days. The furniture was comfortable and worn out and mismatched. The coffee table was strewn with interesting and unconventional magazines, dirty dishes, the family's keys, incense, and anything else that hadn't been put away. It was warm and inviting just like Shawn and Cory's living rooms. Minkus's living room was so sterile you could perform surgery in it if it weren't for the fact that if blood got on the carpet his mother would be scurrying around under the operating table trying to scrub it out. It looked like a show living room: devoid of human presence and personality.
And it was no different now. No one was in the living room. No one was ever in the living room and Minkus petulantly wondered why they even bothered to call it that as he walked into the kitchen where his mother was daintily loading the dishwasher. Her hair didn't move as she moved and she was wearing lipstick and high heels. She was like some bizarre Stepford throwback.
"Good Morning Mother," He said listlessly. She put the dish she was holding in the dishwasher before she turned around.
""Good Morning Mother" That just takes care of everything doesn't it?" His mother said, "Your father and I have been worried sick about you all day. You didn't call to say where you were going, or leave a note, but never mind. You've graced me with a polite "Good Morning Mother" so everything is just fine."
"I'm sorry, I-" Minkus started.
"I don't want to hear it Stewart. Here. " She handed him a plate with a plastic cover over it, "Sit at the table and eat your breakfast, which I'm sure is just dreadfully cold by now, and then go clean the upstairs, mow the lawn , trim the hedges and weed the garden. Your father and I will discuss this with you tonight at dinner."
Minkus sat at the table, lifted the cover off of his plate, and drearily began to eat his eggs benedict, made-from-scratch blueberry waffle and sausages from the "quaint little meat market" across town all the while thinking wistfully of a morning at Shawn's apartment when he and Shawn and Cory had eaten stale cheerios dry because the milk had gone bad.
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"Chloe?" Topanga called as she walked into the living room, "Chloe?"
"In here!" Chloe called from the kitchen, "How was your camping trip?"
Chloe had gotten up this morning and tried to make herself a cup of coffee only to discover that every glass, cup and mug in the house was in the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. She'd ended up drinking coffee out of one of the glass jars in the recycling bin while she washed a load of rags so that she could do the dishes, even though it was Jedidiah's chore.
"Oh it was fun," Topanga sighed walking in, "We roasted marshmallows and walked around and went down to the pond."
"Oh, that explains your hair," Chloe laughed grabbing a strand with a sudsy hand.
"Yeah," Topanga laughed, "Oh, hey, I've got a bottle of your wine in my sleeping bag, should I put that back in the cellar or in the fridge?"
"Put it in the fridge if it's open," Chloe replied.
"It's not. Shawn had rum so we didn't get into the wine."
"Oh, well then put it back in the cellar. We've already got apple wine in the fridge."
"Kay."
"You weren't drinking rum straight were you?" Chloe inquired, "Straight rum used to make me so sick."
"You and Cory. He was not in good shape this morning."
"Oh. Poor Cory. He is such a sweet polite kid. I haven't seen him in a while."
Topanga grabbed a rag and started to dry dishes, "Well, he's around."
"Around huh?" Chloe said beginning to scrub a pair of mismatched chopsticks.
"Yep."
Chloe dropped her rag in the sink, "Well, I've got a massage in half and hour, I'll leave the rest of these for your father. What are you going to do today?"
"Not sure," Topanga sighed, "Take a nap, do some packing. Think up a story to tell Jedidiah so he won't freak out."
"Oh, Topanga," Her mom said giving her a hug, "Don't worry about Jedidiah. He's just worried that you'll go off to Yale and turn into some power driven lawyer type who lives by the clock and never takes time to smell the roses. He thinks the Ivy League is conspiring to make you part of "The Man", " she laughed and let Topanga go, "He's just worried about his little girl."
"Chloe, I'm 18."
"I know sweetheart, and Nebula is 25, but your still our little girls," Chloe swatted her playfully on the cheek, "Jedidiah was going to make Caribbean Tofu steaks tonight. I know that's Shawn's favorite, and he's always welcome. I don't think he gets fed at that apartment of his."
"I'll call him," Topanga said laughing on the inside. No matter how much of a free spirit her mother thought she was the woman was still so much like Topanga's grandma. A skinny friend had to be fed.
Chloe gathered up her purse and keys, "Love ya," she said giving Topanga a peck on the forehead.
"You too," Topanga replied as Chloe swept out of the kitchen.
Topanga looked at the dishes and decided they could air dry before she headed up to her room. She took one look at the mess of boxes and things yet to be put into boxes and decided it could wait. Grabbing a book off the floor she went out to read in the hammock in the backyard. As she bounced down the stairs something floated out of the book. She stooped down to pick it up.
It was a picture from the 9th grade sock hop. Chloe and Mrs. Matthews had helped them all with costumes and then they had been the only people there who had dressed up. Topanga smiled. She remembered how much she had wanted Cory to take her to this dance, but Katie Lensher had asked him first.
And then ... maybe she had never really looked at it, or maybe it was just now that she hadn't seen it in so long... but it looked different. Topanga remembered a night of happy smiling people having fun.
Shawn, in his leather jacket, looked like a cross between Elvis and the Fonz and, grinning in a self satisfied way, had one arm thrown around Marie Trian who was grinning with him. Minkus had gone with Becca Cortez Becca was in pony tail and poodle skirt, Minkus looked like Buddy Holly. Becca didn't look happy either. Topanga had spent 2 hours to get her hair teased nearly a foot above her head and Arthur Gleeson was grinning fakely behind her. Cory, immutable as ever, looked nearly the same, but, with a lot of effort and pomade, had managed to part his hair. Katie had a hand on his shoulder and looked unenthusiastic about it.
Topanga frowned at the picture. This couldn't be right. They'd had a good time. Maybe it was just the picture. She tucked it back in her book and continued out to the yard. She flopped down in the hammock and pulled the picture back out.
It was different again. Everyone had faded out of it except her, Shawn and Cory. The other 5 people were ghostly outlines in the background and somehow, it looked like Shawn had a hand on Cory's shoulder and Cory's arm was around Topanga. Topanga squinted at the picture, but suddenly it was back to a group of 8 fully colored in people.
She shook her head. Maybe she'd just had to much to drink last night. But when she looked at the picture again, she realized why only Shawn and Marie looked like they were having a good time. Shawn and Marie were looking at each other, Topanga was looking into the camera, and Arthur was looking at Minkus and Cory.
Minkus and Cory were staring at her.
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"I'm sure Minkus is in trouble, but you know what it's like with his parents," Shawn said chomping into his burger. He put on a completely overdone snotty ivy league accent, "Well Stewart, as your father I am deeply disappointed in you. In my day we did not commit such shenanigans," he took a gulp of pop and continued in a high pitched voice "Now go trim the carpet and wash the grass. And try to dust the birds in the bird bath. They're looking rather shoddy."
Cory snorted into his water, "That sounds like his mom all right."
"God, that woman is a such a bitch. I mean, I don't mind earning my keep, but how much yard work is there to do? And you could tell they didn't trust me. I caught her counting the spoons after we'd eaten lunch one day," He shook his head disgustedly, "And when I'd come in from, I don't know, polishing the trees, she'd sit me down at the table and read me scripture. She's freaking weird. I feel so sorry for Stewart. I'd take and absentee father over those monsters of his any day and count myself a lucky man."
"I hope he doesn't get into too much trouble," Cory sighed, "I mean, he moves at the end of the week and his parents might actually ground him from end of summer fun."
"If it comes to that we'll just sneak him out. There isn't a second story window in this town Shawn Hunter can't sneak out of," he grinned proudly.
"You're a whore," Cory shook his head.
"Yes, virgin, I am."
"Screw you Shawn."
"People have."
"I don't want to play anymore."
"Fine."
"Fine!"
Cory swirled a fry around his ketchup wondering exactly how to phrase what he wanted to ask and wondering when to push it into the conversation. This was probably not a good point for it. Oh well.
"Is anything going on between you and Topanga?" Cory asked, sounding much more demanding than he meant to.
Shawn looked shocked, and then leaned forward in a way that Cory thought boded ill.
"Are you asking me if I'm sleeping with Topanga?" Shawn asked incredulously.
"No!" Cory answered loudly. "No! I just thought you two might be.. sort of dating or something. You know, with how you act around each other, and kissing last night. Oh god. You are sleeping with her aren't you?"
"Jesus, Cor. That's like asking if I'm sleeping with you!" Shawn announced. A kid walking by gave them a very strange look.
"He's making an analogy," Cory told the kid, laughing in embarrassment.
"I did kiss him last night though," Shawn told the kid suggestively.
"Just on the cheek!" Cory said still trying to laugh.
"Not the cheek you're thinking of though," Shawn said biting his thumb batting his eye lashes mockingly at Cory. The kid turned and ran for the back room and Shawn laughed.
"You realize that's only funny to you right? You're a bastard," Cory fumed.
"You're so cute when you're insecure," Shawn said in his fake coy voice.
"I hate you."
"No you don't," Shawn said in his normal voice, "Anyway. Where were we? Oh right. You of all people should know that Topanga and I are, and always have been, just friends."
"But you kissed her Shawn!"
"So what? We're just close. She's like my sister!"
"You sure gave your sister plenty of tongue last night," Cory said just as the same kid ran back to get his drink. Against all common sense the kid stopped to give them a look again.
"What?" Shawn demanded of him before he ran off in terror yet again, "Okay," he said to Cory, "So maybe she's not exactly like my sister. But the point is, just kissing someone doesn't mean you're desperately in love with them. Topanga and I would make a terrible couple. We would drive each other nuts."
"So you and Topanga are just friends?"
"Yes!" Shawn exclaimed.
"Okay."
"Okay."
They both returned to their burgers.
"But if I was sleeping with Topanga you'd be jealous out of your mind." Shawn told Cory.
"What?" Cory demanded, "Why would you say that?"
"Oh come on Cor. You think I didn't notice this morning when Topanga walked out of the tent?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Cory said feeling himself blush crimson.
"Riiiiiiggggghhhhtttt," Shawn laughed, "Topanga had absolutely nothing to do with your sudden and extreme inability to stand."
"I hate you."
"No you don't." Shawn replied, "And you definitely don't hate her. You love her."
"No I don't," said firmly.
"Yes you do."
"No I don't"
"You always have!"
"Oh now you're just talking crazy!" Cory spat.
"Come on Cor," Shawn sighed, " The way you look at her, the way you talk about her, the way you talk to her. Not to mention that whenever the four of us do anything you're all "well is Topanga coming?" "Does Topanga have a ride?" "Did you call Topanga?". You love her."
"I care about her, she's one of my best friends. You should care about your friends. I care about you and Minkus. Do you think I'm secretly in love with you guys too?"
"If you aren't secretly in love with Topanga, which by the way is a weird way for someone who's not secretly in love with her to phrase that question, then why did you ask if there's anything between me and Topanga?"
"I asked because this morning Minkus told me he's really into Topanga, and I think he's hoping that if they go to school together something might happen. But he thinks that he can't compete with you and if you and Topanga are together then he doesn't have a chance. So nuts to you Mr. Smartypants."
"Minkus has a crush on Topanga?" Shawn asked in amazement, then immediately dropped back to a serious tone, "What else is new?"
"What?"
"Cor, Minkus has had a crush on Topanga since we were eleven. He's never done anything about it."
"Does Topanga know that Minkus likes her?"
Shawn shifted in his seat, "I don't know. I think Topanga is pretty intuitive and well-informed when it comes to basically anyone but the 3 of us. But she sees us as "her boys" you know? She expects everything we do to just be a friendly gesture so even if it is more than that, she might not necessarily see it."
"What do you mean?"
Shawn sighed. He finally sounded embarrassed, "Okay, when I moved back in with my Dad after living in Topanga's house I missed being around her all the time. I mean missed it like hell. So one night I was laying in bed, just thinking about her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. So I got on my bike, and I rode to her street, and I picked a bunch of lilies from her neighbor's yard and I climbed up her drain pipe and knocked on her window."
Cory stared at him.
"And she laughed and pulled me in, and put the flowers in a glass. And she hugged me, really tight, the way she always hugs us, and then let me go. And then I kissed her on the forehead, and then on her cheek. And she just stood there. And I told her how much I missed her and she ruffled my hair, the way she does to all of us, and said in just a heartbreakingly casual tone "Shawn, you're so sweet. I miss having you here too." And I'm leaning in, and at this point I just have to kiss her. But then she says "It's like having a twin brother or something.". "
"Holy crap. That's a mood kill," Cory coughed, "What did you do?"
"I leaned back out and looked at her face, and it was just the way it always is, she wasn't purposefully blowing me off, she didn't look scared or nervous or anything. She was totally sincere. So I smiled and said "yeah, it is like that" and I gave her my fakest laugh and was like "See you at school sis!" and climbed back down the drain pipe, rode back home, dug out one of Dad's Playboys from under the recliner and thought about page 47 until my shoulder was sore," Shawn sighed taking a gulp of his soda. "It's hard not to love Topanga."
"So all three of us are in love with her?" Cory asked, bewildered.
"I'm not in love with her. I'll admit that I was. But I'm honestly not anymore." He picked his burger back up and pointed at Cory, "But you just admitted that you still are."
Authoress Note: If you are wondering- Yes. I did lean heavily on Bree Vandekamp from Desperate Housewives in creating Minkus's mother, but whereas Bree is actually a warm and loving woman who is just overly anal retentive, Mrs. Minkus is Satan in pearls. Thanks for reading, please review.