Chapter 9

Fuming silently 'SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE!!' she dropped the keys to the apartment onto the table 'HOW DARE HE!' she continued even angrier feeling if she actually voiced her anger the apartments would come crumbling down around her.

She dropped her cases on the floor; the miles and hours between them hadn't not stopped her anger only decreased it till now. This time when it flared she whispered the angry truth. 'HE HAD DECEIVED HER AGAIN!!'

As her mind buzzed back over her short fateful visit home, which would be her last, she went around the apartment putting on lights and occasionally venting her anger on a cushion that happened to be near. As though that whisper had proved to her the apartment would not collapse she huffed out her memories and feelings. 'He'd been there at the airport with Sara and Casey to meet her and promised he'd changed …OH YES! ALL OF HALF A DAY … then bang in the middle of the wedding reception he let rip. …

HELL! … He had been talking to them earlier … HOW DARE, HE ASSUME HE COULD DO AND SHE COULD NOT!! …

It was not as if she was doing anything wrong … just talking to Maria, looking at the baby, laughing with Benjy and then said "Hi" to Ben as he joined them … and POW …

A FAMILY GROUP FOR HEAVENSAKE WHAT THEY ALL RESPECTED!! loads of people around it was a wedding reception. Bette and AJ nearby ready for a gossip but … OH NO! Dear old Super Dad waded in trying to drag her away as though she was a little kid.….

She pulled against him asked him to stop ... quietly … What did he do … accuse her of eyeing Ben as he escorted Bette into the ceremony.

HELL! IF SHE WAS THEN ALL THE WOMEN WERE EYEING BEN … he and Bette made a fantastic couple, …

OH, COME ON! everyone knows Ben makes a woman's heart stop when he was dressed up in a suit like then. Add the pride that radiated from them both and stunning was not the word and HER FATHER had accused her of….

She ran her fingers through her hair, her face feeling hot with embarrassment even now as her mind carried on … OH YES she'd yelled at her father as she broke from his grasp and started to run from the room but found Bette in her way, she stopped for a moment as she found herself in a quick hug and a gentle "It's all right Meg" then she was released and she ran.

It was not all right … she could not look back at the melee she could hear behind her, all she could do was to run from the nightmare from the beautiful old American Spanish mansion and from their happiness.

She'd slowed to a stop on the gravel path as she heard Robert call her name then felt his hand on her shoulder. Through her heavy breathing, her anger and embarrassment she heard his gentle words and felt him guide her to his car.

He drove to her apartment where she packed her things and left. He listened to her as she let rip, she was too angry for tears, and stayed with her all the way back to Seattle on his plane. Then he'd sent it with her on board back to Boston knowing his staff would look after her, understanding her need to escape.

And they had with kid-gloves and respect; she gave an involuntary smile … guessed she knew what a ticking bomb felt like. Their last act of kindness was driving her back to here to her apartment so they knew she was safe and a few words of support. They knew she had calmed down enough to be left in safety if not quite yet defused … that would take time and privacy she had that now.'

Surfacing from her memory she found she had pulled the curtains closed and sighed out loud. "Why, oh why did I go? … Come to that why did they have the reception in Sunset Beach where something always goes wrong."

She huffed knew that was unfair and went into the kitchen and made some coffee it was late but she was too wired to sleep. She knew her flatmate was out on the town … it would give her time and space to think. She smiled at one good thing, she'd not got round to telling them about her plans just about the conference she'd worked at. Her father had left them at the airport having collected the parcel he'd come for. So the morning had been taken up with Sara and Casey and herself doing the rounds of the apartment, Sunset Sisters discussing ideas and then news as they met up with the gang. Finally before changing for the wedding there had been a quick family lunch where her father had seemed interested rather than condemning her actions.'

At the thought of her father she rippled with anger again, but it was gentler not the full force she'd felt earlier though there was no forgiveness. She pondered again that question. 'How could he deceive her saying he was pleased for her then smash it again? She needed to tell him what she felt so he would understand what she was doing and why … not by phone he would never listen and she was not sure she could get her words out … without anger.

She eyed the computer on the table; put her cup beside the machine set it up ready to send an email to say she was safe, and decided that Sara could print out her letter to him, and then at least he could not say it got lost in the post if he read and didn't like it.

She saw she had one from Sara but knew this had to be done now … her thoughts to her Dad. She opened a new message made herself comfortable and started a postscript to Sara.

Hi Sis

Writing this before I read your mail. I'm back in Boston, in one piece; will write later give Mum a hug. This is for Dad but you and Casey can read so you all know where I am coming from and he cannot twist it.

(Take out Boston when you print this out for Dad)

Meg

Dad

This is an open letter to you, which I hope you will show to Mum. Sara and Casey will read it as it's from their machine. I need everyone to know how I feel and you to understand it properly.

What you did at the reception was unforgivable; you insulted AJ and Bette on their wedding day as well as Ben and his family.

You insulted me as well but most of all you shattered the corner stone of our family DAD!

LOVE, TRUST AND RESPECT … DAD those are the things you told us were valuable in life and I have always based my life on them, gone by your words when I have been unsure, seen them hold the family together in rocky times.

Today that was shattered to tiny pieces.

We've all seen the young child yell in anger 'I hate you' at a parent or friend and in that moment she or he means it and we know that in a while he or she will go back to that person with love when everything calms down.

Well Dad, I feel like that child yelling at you with all my might but I am an adult and know how much it hurts and what has been lost. Yes deep deep down I know I will love you but for now I do not and the time to find that love may take forever.

I also know I cannot trust the words 'I'm sorry' coming from you, you have said them too often and broken them too quickly afterwards. They no longer heal but hurt even more.

You will always have my respect for what you did for me as a child and young adult as for recently that to has gone … shattered.

You never trusted or respected my love when I told you time after time that I was over Ben; I could cope on my own and you could trust me to be friends with his family. Yes we have history … don't we all … but we had a future as friends.

Now things have changed and I am walking away from your love and trust.

Don't try and find me through Sara because I will not tell her where I am. I will keep in contact because I know not to do so would hurt Mum, Sara and Casey … I know they will keep you up to date on how I am. I am moving on so don't try to get round Robert either. He has supported me today and I thank him for it.

I don't know how what happened today will affect things with Benjy … I hope Ben will be able to forgive you as I know Benjy loves you and Mum perhaps that is one way you can build a new trust through your love of a child … but only if you really mean your words, no breaking them as you have in the past.

I will come home for the birth of Sara's twins they are part of my family, perhaps by then you will have managed to come to terms with everything.

To be honest I'm not sure how we are going to built up the love, trust and respect that has been lost today since words and action mean so little.

Meg.

She did not bother reading it through again just pressed send and reached for her cup of coffee. To her surprise it was cold so she got up and made herself a fresh cup returning to machine to open the mail Sara had sent.

She felt better now she had put her thoughts down knowing her father could not twist them. She knew Robert would have contacted Sara to tell her what had happened to her, he had proved himself a really good friend offering his help when his family would be left at the reception, even made sure she knew when they parted in Seattle that he would always answer her call when ever it came.

She smiled as she started to read the email, and then started to drink her coffee to make sure she had this one hot.

Hi Sis

What can I say to make you feel better? Would hug you but my arms aren't long enough.

Dad was a fool and had no right to do what he did. Just pleased Casey managed to stop things from getting out of hand, … Life Guard skills … the bear hug round Dad was something to see. Don't know what he whispered in Dad's ear but it stopped him yelling. Ben had scooped his family up and out into the garden rather than make a scene. Not too many people really noticed it; it will not be mentioned in the paper either.

It was a beautiful mansion and those gardens, set everything off beautifully. (Glad AJ was paying)

I saw AJ and Bette after they both want you to know it did not spoil their day, to be honest I don't think anything would have. Milley caught the flowers so we are all trying to guess who she will marry, as there is no one in sight at the moment and yes AJ found the garter! … I'm glad you at least heard the speeches Ben's was good, never thought of Bette in that way … still giggling at his joke re AJ at least it was clean and not too embarrassing.

After Dad had left (Casey escorted him off premises) Ben came over to us, he nicely brushed off Mum's apology told her it was Dad's problem, he understood where Hank was coming from and hoped you would stay in touch not break things off completely. He still wanted to go with Benjy to the Shock Wave if that was all right if not we were to tell him and he would make sure it was just Benjy, Maria and Sammy. Wasn't she a good baby no crying only gurgling, she has her father's eyes, funny how the sunlight caught her hair it looks as though she has some of Maria's colour in it rather than all black of Ben's. I promised I would let him know you were all right and he accepted you would not be around for a while … sorry he did not get to say hi properly and sends his regards.

To say men dressed like 'that' can knock you out is an understatement; drop dead gorgeous does not come close either then add Bette and well what can you say! Usually when Bette dresses up she is stunning the phrase 'dressed to kill came to mind' but that could mean over the top and she was not. You could see she certainly 'killed' AJ (he looked great as well) as Ben handed her over to him in front of Antonio for the blessing etc. Hey even Casey broke a couple of female hearts glad he's mine, can't wait for the photo of him … will send some on to you through Robert when they come.

Thank goodness he was there to help you, private planes can be useful … hope you have arrived back in Boston in one piece, perhaps a little calmer … guess we will not be seeing you any time soon. He said he will pass anything on to you and you will use him, there aren't many like him around talk about luck! Talked to his family they are really nice even promised to visit the shop next time they come.

Just remember we love you and it was not … not!! Your fault, just the fault of our stubborn, stupid Father.

You looked fantastic and you never told me where you bought that dress or how much … guess I would have fainted at the price. No doubt everyone else told you, you looked great. At least the morning was good just remember that Bette finally got her man. Saw some of the gang and they send their love, messages will come later via email.

As for Dad well he is sleeping in the SHED!!

Yes really Mum kept to her threat. She's working for the week at Sunset Sister's while I'm having a rest. She is going to make him eat at Shock Wave and pay for it only letting him use the bathroom in the house. She did relent on one thing and let Casey put a mattress in the shed but other wise he is band till he treats you properly and us come to that. I have never seen Mum so quietly mad before! She never shouted just said it.

Casey escorted Dad out of the reception and told him to go home then came back to make sure Mum was all right and decided make sure Dad did go home. I stayed back with Mum and we enjoyed it, that was when we talked to Bette etc. Dad did not go home and Casey found out he was on his way to the airport don't know whether he was going to apologise or what. Anyway Casey tried to warn you but your phone was off so he rang Robert, when Dad arrived at the airport two very large security guards escorted him to a room till Casey arrived and could guarantee he would not return to the airport for twenty-four hours. Casey decided to leave Dad in the room for an hour then let him out and took him home to sort out the shed. Mobile phones have there uses.

Robert rang to say you were in good hands.

Talking to Mum she is going to book Dad an appointment with Dr Estrada so here's hoping she can sort him out.

Just had word Tess has had baby girl who is early so will have to stay in hospital for a while. Let you know how things are there later.

Glad to know the job is great and you now have a flatmate she sounds great. Nutcases together hey.

Didn't get round to checking about the rent fully … not complaining but it seems we will be paying for the amenities only is that right? … We don't want to cheat you out of anything.

Take care If you are reading this before 2pm Sunday our time could you ring Casey at the Lifeguard Centre then Mum will be there if not let me know a suitable time. She needs to hear your voice and sends her love.

Hugs Sara.

Meg smiled as she finished and her stomach rumbled reminding her she had missed a meal looking round she remembered there were added hours to consider as well.

The key in the apartment door heralded the arrival of her flatmate, who looked at Meg in surprise then with a gentle exclamation. "Oh! I thought you would be later," she looked at her watch "today as in this afternoon. I've got enough food for two if you want to talk."

Meg briefly checked and realised there was no one with her friend. "Food sounds good; I trust the extra is not because of a let down."

Her flatmate laughed putting the food on the table. Meg had got up and got the plates from the kitchen and her flatmate admitted. "No just large portions and too many … not really sure what I wanted. You know close eyes and put a pin in the list a couple of times. So goodness knows what we've got. … How'd the wedding go …"

Meg laughed at her friend's questioning expression sat down and answered. "Wedding fine, reception umm Dad happened. Your story first I might be calm by then."

"Oh simple really … had date … good looking actually … all went well for most of the evening then … umm lost him in the crowd." She giggled and carried on to explain having them both in fits of laughter as they tried to eat.

oxoxo

Meg curled on the sofa her flatmate insisted on doing tea while she rested. Her day had been strange, catnapped rather than sleep as they had chatted on till sunrise. Her flatmate and friends had been around to help her though the day and her phone call back home had been better than she hoped. No tears rather quiet words and a promise she would return at the end of September if Sunset Sisters got in the top three for the best new business.

She had hesitated remembering her promise to herself not to go home, but as her mother and Sara had said without her there in the first place there would not have been a shop. So she had to be there … with that thought she went over to her laptop and checked the mail.

She looked at the list received and wondering whether to open it or not. It was from Sara the tag said simply 'letter from Dad', she decided she would and opened it.

Hi Sis

Attaching letter from Dad, we left him to it to write and I corrected it so you could read it. I know you don't trust his words but read and put it away for now if needs be. Glad to hear you sounding so good.

Love Sara, Casey and Mum

She opened the attachment.

Meg

Thank you for keep the door open, I hope I will not break that strand of love you have for me.

I have agreed to see Dr Estrada or Dr Brown and hope it will work.

I have seen Ben and written to Bette and AJ.

As you cannot trust my words let me say what I think at the moment.

I don't think it was really about you and Ben it was more about seeing you all grown up for the first time. I know what you are going to say I have seen you all grown up before but this time it was different. You have a different kind of confidence about you and you looked stunning.

Mind you, you did the first time I saw you … it was just after you were born, held you as the midwife cut the cord, dark hair, dark eyes, yelling at first but that was good you needed air but then you lay in my hands quietly watching me. It took my breath away as you did at the reception.

As a farmer I've seen animals being born and every time it is beautiful, but a baby is something more precious especially as you were ours, and I love Joan so deeply.

Perhaps because you were the first so took the first steps in everything I wanted to protect you more than Sara. At the reception I finally realised you were really an adult standing on her own two feet, strong enough not to need me any more and it scared me and I lashed out instead of taking pride in what you have achieved.

I hope that one day you will trust the words I write now - I am sorry I did not trust and respect your love.

Take care.

Dad

Sara has told me about the possibility of an award in September, if you win or come in the first three please come. If needs be I will stay away from the celebrations it is your project and you deserve the praise.

Meg re read the letter wanting to trust him, understanding some of his hurt, she filed it away in the family file she needed time.

She opened a new mail and started

Hi Sis

Read Dad's mail tell him thank you and I will think about September. Don't worry if there are any long gaps I'm fine, thank Ben for me and tell him I'm all right and will eventually sort things out with Dad.

Love you all

Meg.

"It's ready Meg! …. Are you in on the meeting first thing in the morning?" Came the call from the kitchen.

Meg pressed the send key and closed it up and went help put the things on the table. "Yes so I will have to sort it out tonight … want to help?"

Her flatmate giggled "Yes for a fee. Can you bring the sauce, and drink in?" she carried the plates of food over to the table.

"Okay … Umm that's not agreeing to the fee you understand." Meg said as she got the things from the kitchen knowing her flatmate only too well.

"Damn I thought it was an Okay, Okay … So food first then I then I will try again." Her flatmate replied with an innocent smile.

Meg shook her head mouthed 'No' and started to eat, her flatmate gave a gentle huff and started to eat as well.