Ben, John, Stephen, and Nathaniel walked in silence towards Zachary's hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina.
"How are we going to find where he lives?" Nathaniel asked, kicking a rock.
"We'll find it," John assured him and they kept walking along the dusty dirt road.
Eventually they reached Charlotte with its quaint little homes and remnants of both Patriot and British encampments. Stephen suggested they ask at the local general store to locate Zachary's home.
Stepping inside the general store reminded Ben of Mister Merriman's store. From the wide pine planks on the floor to the smell of sawdust and spices in the air. The walls were lined with brightly colored cloth and necessities of all sorts. It felt good to be in a store again. The man behind the counter was a cheery old man with a gray beard.
"Welcome to Charlotte, soldiers. What can I do for you?" he greeted the weary group. Stephen and John approached the shopkeeper and in hushed tones asked their questions as Nathaniel and Ben looked about. Ben played with the tin scales absentmindedly while Nathaniel was enthralled with the sweets.
"You like a piece? Go, take one for yourself." The shopkeeper urged and Nathaniel happily obeyed.
After obtaining the necessary information, John thanked the shopkeeper and shepherded the group outside.
"Sarah lives on Tryon Street, a white house with black shutters and a dogwood in the yard—can't miss it with that description. Her parents on a farm just outside of town, pale yellow I believe he said, and his on Church Street—brick, I think we should see Sarah first."
"This is going to break her heart," Stephen said gravely.
Looking up at the pretty little house with its neat gardens and the laundry hanging to dry in the back, Nathaniel commented, "It even looks like Zachary," referring to its neatness; not even a blade of grass was out of place.
They all took a deep breath and walked up the brick walkway. "I do no want to do this to the lass," Stephen said as John was about to knock on the door.
"No one does," he replied sadly and knocked.
Ben's heavy heart fell the minute the door was opened. Part of him was praying that no one was home so that the task could be avoided for a big longer and the girl could still have the hope that her husband would soon be coming home to her. But, no, the door was opened by the embodiment of Zachary's dreams; she was just how he described: like a doll with big blue-green eyes surrounded by long brown lashes. Pink rosy cheeks and red lips against porcelain skin, her brown hair in soft curls, she was even wearing a blue dress. The unsuspecting girl smiled sweetly at her visitors and invited them in, but they turned her down. Apologizing for the 'mess,' she told them her husband would be home soon to help around the house. Nathaniel smiled weakly at this last comment, but Ben just turned his back to her, not able to look her in the eyes.
"Mrs. Nickerson," John stopped her, and Ben turned to face her, tears welling in his eyes as in the eyes of his comrades. "Mrs. Nickerson, we are friends of Zachary. We were with him when Charles Town fell and cellmates in the prison. No one was as honorable as your husband and I was honored to have called him my friend. He spoke of you often; he loved you more than anything in the world."
Sarah's smile fell, but the look in her sea blue eyes was one of confusion and denial. "I, I, I don't understand what you are saying." She stuttered, "Where is Zachary? Why is he not with you?"
"I'm sorry, we tried everything we could," Stephen began, but he couldn't finish, a lump had formed in his throat.
"I'm sorry, but Zachary passed away." John finished for him.
Time seemed to stand still. The color drained from Sarah's face, her eyes clouded over and no longer did her face hold the warm glow of life, instead it became pasty and sickly as life as she knew it escaped from her. She let out an ear-piercing mournful shriek, an unearthly sound of a heart breaking as she crumbled to the ground. Stephen caught as she fell and gently sat her on the ground. Sobbing, she turned for shelter in Stephen's arms and cried into his chest. This was a side of Stephen Ben had never seen before, he held Sarah in his arms, gently stroking her head with one hand and rubbing her back in a circular motion with the other, cooing, "It will be alright, it will be alright, hush little one." Sarah sobbed and sobbed until she exhausted her self. Suddenly, Sarah's body jerked and she staggered over to a bush, her eyes vacant of life as they darted back and forth, searching, and then she started throwing-up.
John immediately assessed the situation. "She is making herself sick, Nathaniel, Ben, see if you can find a doctor to see if he has something to calm her nerves."
"and her parents!" Stephen called after them, steadying the girl and holding back her hair.
"I'll find the doctor, you find the parents." Nathaniel suggested and turned to run towards town. Ben shrugged Sure, take the easy job and avoid breaking bad news and he turned to find the farm.
The first farm he reached was a handsome looking house made of pine boards surrounded by a wide covered porch. In the front yard there was a young man carrying water back to the house from the well. Ben stopped him to ask where he could find the house of Sarah Nickerson's, wife of Zachary Nickerson, parents.
"This is their house." The young man informed him, "I am her older brother, Ephraim." He set down the buckets and shook Ben's hand and then called for his father. Sarah's father soon approached, along with her mother and Ben had to break the sad news of Zachary's death to them all.
"Dear Lord, not Zachary—he was so young!" Sarah's mother gasped and placed her hand over her heart.
Ephraim's immediate concern was his younger sister, "How is Sarah taking the news?"
"Not well."
Ephraim immediately set off running towards town and Sarah's father explained in a rush, "I have seven sons but one daughter, the youngest of my brood. Her brothers treasure her as one would treasure gold, especially Ephraim, he has always looked after her."
"My baby!" Sarah's mother moaned.
Her husband turned to her, "Be strong, Sarah needs you. I'll hitch up the horses." He turned to Ben and bid him good day and ran to the barn to ready the horses.
Emotionally exhausted from the last hour, Ben sat along the edge of the road. He had to tell Zachary's parents. John had once told him that although he was proud that his sons had joined up, his biggest fear was burying his sons. "No parent should have to bury his child," he had said. Now Ben was going to inform a parent just that and it was scarier to him than facing a thousand Redcoats.
Entering town again, he got directions to the elder Nickersons' house. The shadow of a fine brick building loomed over him. This time he did not have John and Stephen to bear the burden. Approaching the door he suddenly hated Zachary, hated him for dying, hated him for leaving his beloved wife, hated him for all the heartache he was causing, but of course, he didn't hate him. Zachary had been a good friend to him. Ben had often confided in him about his mixed-up feelings about Felicity. Zachary who had been so sure of his love for Sarah all his life was able to help Ben admit his love for Felicity.
"When did you first realize you loved Sarah?" Ben quietly asked Zachary one night when everyone in the cell had fallen asleep and only the two of them were awake. Zachary turned his gaze from the small window, separating him from the stars and looked at Ben as though he was seeing him for the first time before turning back to the window. Ben thought he had overstepped his boundaries for a moment, but then Zachary began to recall past memories with a lovingly.
"Being caged in here I have been recalling old memories so vividly, things that I thought were so insignificant at the time are the memories that have stayed with me all these years. . . . You know I was cruel to Sarah the first time I met her. It was the first week of school and she sat in front of me, answering all the teacher's questions correctly before I could. I did not like that, so I dipped the end of her braid into a jar of ink, when she found out, the back of her dress was ruined and she started crying. Then I felt worse than I could ever imagine, her brother Ephraim carried her home as she cried and swore she would never go to school again-suddenly I was terrified I would never see her again. I ran all the way home, not believing what I had done. My mother had made me shortbread cookies for my first week of school and I took almost the whole batch and brought them to school the next day with a note that just read 'Sorry.' I never admitted what I had done, nor did I apologize. But she smiled so brightly when she received the cookies that every time my mother made them I would take a bunch and leave them on her desk. I never told her they were from me, but you know what, she knew all along."
"You never told her how you felt?" Ben was confused, Zachary was such a strong believer in true love, he had just assumed that he also had had the courage to embrace it as soon as he encountered it.
"No, but we did become friends and played together throughout dame school, childhood flirtation. I picked her flowers and we would practice our lessons together. But then my parents sent me away to boarding school when I was twelve for five years. I thought of her, I missed my best friend, much like you think of your Felicity now . . ." he paused for a moment. "Do you remember when you first met her?"
Ben smiled, playing back a memory he had almost forgotten. "It was my first night at the Merriman household. I had just moved into their house and was on the verge of starting my apprenticeship. The whole family was sitting around the dinner table, making polite chatter and there was Felicity across from me. Her green eyes bore into my soul as if she was trying to read my entire life story there at the table, but it was not unkind. Her gaze never wavered, much like her personality; she is the most loyal person I know. In a way it impressed me, the way she sat there."
Zachary smiled knowingly, "I understand perfectly, and when did you realize you loved her?"
"I do not, I mean, I . . ." Ben stuttered.
"I was friends for years with a girl that I could not get out of my head, but I did not know why or confronted my feelings about her for years later. Looking back I lost so much time. It was not until I had graduated and come back home, sitting in my church with my family and the minister preaching about facing your fears with the Lord's help; the words sent chills over my body. I felt like the minister was speaking directly to me, for almost 11 years I had been too afraid to tell Sarah how I felt. So that day I stopped her in front of church, there in front of her seven giant, protective brothers I blurted out that I had liked her as more than a friend for years—she smiled so brightly she outshone the sun and exclaimed that she had been waiting for me since the day I left the cookies on her desk! We were married less than four months later." Ben had never seen Zachary smile so brightly, and yet his eyes were so sad, longing for the life he had left behind.
"It was a series of little things I guess, I did not realize how much I cared for her all at once, but over that first year I lived with the Merrimans she grew to mean so much more to me. I think the first real memory that has truly stayed with me is the time I discovered her with breeches-"
"Your breeches!" Zachary exclaimed with a laugh.
"Yes," Ben chuckled remembering his reaction to finding her with them, "she had been borrowing them to sneak out of the house at night to tame a horse with a bad master. I kept her secret. Then around Christmastide she went to the Governor's ball and her father asked me to escort her. I think that is the first time I saw her as a young woman, until that point she was like a sister to me, a confidant, a faithful friend when I had none other." He trailed off, lost in thought, "I ran away once."
"From your apprenticeship?"
"I ran away to join the continentals one summer and I hurt my leg. I knew that if I left a small token in the birdhouse at her grandfather's plantation she would come to help, and she did. She began to assist me, but ended up talking me back . . ." his voice quieted in realization "to her. I postponed my dream of fighting in this revelation because of her words . . . that is the moment." Zachary smiled, "That is when I fell in love with her. I do not think anyone could have made me return to Williamsburg, to a shop when there was the whole world waiting for me, but she did."
Ben thought back to the time before he joined up, before he was imprisoned, he had changed so much since then. He had seen so much.
Ben knocked politely on the door and it was opened by a young negress. "I have word for Mister and Mrs. Nickerson, are they home?" he asked quietly.
"The master is in his study working, he isn't receiving callers right now."
"Please, it is very urgent." Ben insisted and the servant told him she would check. A few minutes later the stately Mister Nickerson greeted him, clearly annoyed that his work was interrupted.
"I am sorry to disturb you sir but . . .," Ben looked down at his feet, he couldn't do this! How did John put it? "I am sorry sir but I was a friend of Zachary's and I regret to inform you that your son has passed away."
Mister Nickerson grabbed his heart with one hand and steadied himself against the wall with the other. "My son!" he moaned, "My only son!" at the sound of his cries, Mrs. Nickerson ran toward him as did the cook and the woman who had answered the door, both servants hung back in an empty doorway, watching the scene unfurl.
Taking his wife by the shoulders, Mister Nickerson broke the news to her. She clung to him as she cried. Ben retreated a few feet and averted his eyes from the painful scene to allow the couple to mourn their loss.
Composing herself just a bit, Mrs. Nickerson looked at Ben standing awkwardly in the doorway. Drying her tears with a handkerchief she said with a sudden calmness, "Would you care for something to eat? We have shortbread cookies, they were Zachary's favorites."
"No thank you ma'am."
"Are you sure?" the woman insisted, suddenly ignoring the fact that her son was dead. "When Zachary was little he used to eat half a batch in a day! I would have to hide them from him."
"Then I must have one." Ben conceded and Mrs. Nickerson went off towards the kitchen and Mister Nickerson led him to the parlor. Sitting down with a pipe, he asked, "How did my son die?"
Ben did his best to answer all of Mister Nickerson's questions, telling him how brave and honorable his son was. All his questions, Mister Nickerson sat back and became lost in his grief. Mrs. Nickerson's way of dealing with the grief was to ignore the fact that anything was wrong and insisted on feeding Ben while telling him stories of when Zachary was younger. Eventually, Mister Nickerson could not take his wife's actions anymore.
"Our son is dead Emily! He is gone!" he roared and Mrs. Nickerson shrunk back.
Getting up, Ben said meekly, "I think I will take my leave now. I am sorry for your loss."
"I am sorry too," Mister Nickerson said.
Peering her head over her husband's shoulder, Mrs. Nickerson solemnly asked if he had told Sarah yet. Ben informed that it had been done and then excused himself.
With his head hung, he walked back to Zachary's, kicking stones in the dirt as he went. When he approached Zachary's home he found John, Stephen, and Nathaniel sitting on the front step.
"The doctor gave her a sleeping draught." John said quietly.
"Her parents are with her." Stephen added.
Ben sat down next to them, "I told his parents."
Looking up at the blue sky above them, John peacefully recited, "He will swallow up death in victory: and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off faces." The men bowed their heads in reverence.
&&&
They stayed in town for a few days, attending the memorial service the Nickerson's held for Zachary. The service was the only time Sarah had gotten out of bed since she heard the news. Glancing at her in her mourning garb, Ben saw she was a mere shadow of the girl he had met a few days ago. In the graveyard, as Sarah sat by the freshly erected grave stone, Ben overheard Sarah's mother tell Mrs. Nickerson that Sarah had refused to eat since she heard the news and would wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning and calling out for her beloved. Ben's heart wept for the broken girl, he walked over to where she sat and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I know no words that I can offer would alleviate your pain, but I am truly sorry for your loss. Zachary was a fine man and if he could, would have protected you from all the pain in the world."
Sarah glanced up at him, tears running down her face, "Then why did he go and cause me the ultimate pain? Why did he leave me? He could have stayed with me and not gone and fought. Why will he not come home to the ones he loves when you will?" she asked.
Ben sat down besides her, "I do not know why. But before he died he gave me this," Ben pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it to Sarah. "It contains his last words to you, I know he would not want you to be sad forever. He loved your smile and your laugh and as long as you remember him in your heart, he will never truly be gone from you. Death isn't the end of everything, no change, no loss, no separation, not even death, can end love. Love lasts forever."