I end up dragging Beck for a drink,
Even though she's being stubborn,
Because she's been kind of on edge lately, and
It seemed to go away after we left the prison,
And I don't know why…
She was so determined to go up there,
Even though she knew it was gonna hurt.
She doesn't say anything to me,
And I don't say anything to her, and it
Feels like forever before
One of us speaks.
And when she does, she sounds like
She's going to cry, and
I feel like a jerk for hoping that she doesn't.
After a minute,
She sounds more like herself,
Or at least herself as I've gotten to know her,
If that makes any sense at all.
She tells me that it hurt like hell,
When two other cops showed up to tell her,
That hey, her husband had been murdered, and would she mind coming to the station?
I know it wasn't like that,
Know that the department tries to be as sensitive about it as possible,
But sometimes it doesn't work.
And when you're a fellow cop hearing that
The one you married, the one you love, who's also a cop,
Was shot up on the streets, it's bound to make you wonder.
To make you want something you can't have…some kind of revenge.
I've never had to go through that.
And I think…I might just understand why she is the way she is.
Can't be easy to know that the ones you wish were gone
Are sitting there in prison, alive, where they'll be until they are gone,
Because they're alive, you see, and the one who had your heart, well,
They're not.
It hurts like hell, she says, and I nod, because I believe her.