Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any monies off it.
Warning: This has slash. Of the NaruSasu variety. So yeah, that means Naruto's all over that hot Uchiha ass. That's right, mansex afoot! Women and children evacuate first! (since if the boys leave, who will we have to videotape for later?)
Personally Sakura didn't like flower shops. Whenever she entered one, she was reminded of her Gennin, back in their childhood when Ino'd been the image of womanhood surrounded by flowers and smiling softly. What a waste of a kunoichi she'd almost been then! Now, it wasn't that Sakura didn't like femininity and all that, but she also remembered when Ino had confessed she was engaged to a local boy. It had nearly killed her then, mere months before the Chunnin exams, to learn that her best friend and rival would be leaving their playing ground to, well, stop being a ninja. She'd thought about what a waste it seemed, when a girl with such wondrous talents would never make fun of her forehead as an ANBU.
More importantly, she couldn't stand the idea of losing her Ino to childbirth and wifery and all that. Hokage, what a waste it would have been!
Absently she checked her eyeshadow in a glass vase. The reflection didn't look too hideous. As odds would have it, the shape of the vase exaggerated her forehead. She chuckled.
"What's so funny, Most-beautiful-woman-in-Konohagakure?"
Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin, until she recognized that most irritating of voices. "Naruto! What the hell were you trying to do to me?" She screamed (not shrieked. Naruto knew what would happen to him if he ever suggested-)
"Why're you screech at me like that? I was laying you a compliment, Sakura-chan!" And if it was at all possible, his voice became even more annoying as it slid into whiny mode. She grit her teeth and turned around to glare at the fox-faced brat. Her glare was in no way diminished by the fact she had to crane her neck upward for it to reach it's mark. Naruto had the good grace to wince. "Oh, come on. You know I was just playing with you." He confessed, sounded very nearly contrite. Sakura accepted this as the best she would get, waving a hand to indicate her forgiveness. This time. Instantly, the blonde whirlwind brightened and waved to Ino, who was currently managing the flower shop. She now owned the store, but she only worked her during the off-time between missions.
Ino waved back, obviously surprised that Naruto had snuck all the way to the back of the store without her noticing. Sakura wasn't amused, but she had let him off the hook. It was too late now to change her mind. So she stuck out her tongue at his back.
"Hey now, lovely lady. You'd better share that unless you plan to use it."
Sakura punched him in the face.
A few minutes later, after Ino had gotten him a chair, an icepack and reprimanded her pink-haired friend harshly, Naruto finally got around to his point.
"YOU want flowers?" Ino shrieked. "Who in Yondaime's name would... would..."
"Date me?" Naruto smirked then. "Actually, it's a bit of a present for Iruka. Part of a housewarming gift."
"But he's a-" Sakura started, then stared at Naruto seriously. She knew he was a smartass but, "You little snot." She finished. "You're making fun of Iruka? Pretending he's the wife?"
Naruto merely smiled that foxy smile of his.
They spent an hour creating what Ino called 'the Perfect Arrangement'. Sakura realized halfway through the whole ridiculous process that Iruka was allergic to flowers. She waited until the end of her shift to hunt the rascal down. Luckily, Ichiraku's was the easiest place to find. It's gaudy orange colors stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Alright you twat. Who're they really for?" Sakura hissed in Naruto's ear. To her everlasting delight, he sprayed Pork Ramen all over Ayame. Not that she didn't like Ayame. She just loved catching Naruto unawares. Thus she patiently waited while Naruto bowed and fussed his way out of Ayame's hate, then stared mournfully at his half-wasted bowl. He-Naruto it was amazing how much energy he had for a Hokage-in-training. She would running away from Tsunade would sap anyone's energy (it certainly had given her a high tolerance for pain). But anyway. "So?" She reminded him of her waiting.
Naruto did a brief double-take, with his second glance becoming a small frown. "What makes you think they aren't for Iruka-sensei?" Here he grinned. "He does make such a lovely mother-figure." This Sakura brushed aside with a wave of her hand.
"You told me he was allergic to flowers, idiot!" She growled.
"I-oh. Hey yeah, I did. Good sleuthing Sakura!" Naruto smiled, and slapped her on the back.
"Oh no you don't! Tell me now, Naruto." Unconciously Sakura found her fist raised and aimed towards Naruto's rather impressive foreheadbruise. Her fellow ninja made and adorably sad face, then paid for his Ramen.
"Let's walk, for old time's sake, eh?" His voice sounded strangely subdued. How could she say no?
It wasn't until they reached a quieter part of town that Naruto started talking again.
"I-you can't tell anyone, okay? This is serious stuff, Sakura-chan." He said quietly.
"What did you say?" Wow was he talking softly. This was nothing like the blond nut she was used to.
"I said, you can't tell- you know what, nevermind. This was stupid." He growled, voice becoming pouty (a tone she had heard far to often before his birthday) and distant. She kicked him in the shin.
"Who. Is. It." She punctuated each word with a tightening of the hand on his scarf, refusing him the right to run. She was meaner than him, dammit!
They stopped a on a bridge over a small stream, the same one Naruto had showed off by 'walking on water' on, she recalled. It was a nice place, this village. She waited for him to speak. Sometimes, sometimes it seemed there was more to her blond friend than he let on.
Now was one of those times, and it showed in the way his whole demeanor changed. He became obvious in observing all their surrondings, which she assumed meant he didn't want to be overheard with a passion bordering on paranoia. How crazy, since from the moment she had met him, all Naruto wanted was to be noticed. Well, now she had to know what was going on.
"Well, you see. There is someone, someone special those flowers are for." He admitted haltingly. Sakura resisted the urge to begin salivating as just how juicy this confession was going to be. She'd never gotten even a whiff of Naruto being attracted to someone, and now this? What was it, someone from another village? A wanted nin? An affair?
For a moment he seemed to lose his nerve, pausing to lean on the bridge railings. "Ach. How can I explain. Well, first things first Naruto. Start with the basics. It's like this Sakura," He turned to her, looked deep into her eyes and said,
"I'm in love with Sasuke." His eyes sort of bugged when he said this, like the strain had been to much to stand.
Sakura stared at him for a moment. "Oh. Is that all?" She exclaimed, voice nearly cheery. Naruto's eyes did that bug thing again.
"Wh-WHAT? How can you be like 'oh, is that all' when I've agonized over this forever? This is ridiculous! You don't think I'm serious do you? That's it, you don't think I'm serious. Well I've thought about it, and I've thought and I've thought and I've- and I want to marry the vampiric little shit! I want to wake up next to him and make fun of his bedhead and get pushed off the bed! I want to hold hands and do a great many other things that involve absolutely no clothes! Or we could try it with clothes, that would be kinky. Vampiric! I want him to bear my children!" Naruto panted with, well, passion. Sakura continued to stare at him in abject amusement.
"So you bought him flowers?" She deadpanned. Honestly. She supposed everyone had been waiting for something like this to happen (Tsunade with disappointment, since that was two kick-ass bloodlines lost) since Sasuke came back. He'd been locked in the most secure prison cell in the history of everyone, which hardly seemed worth it since he was staying there of his own free will, when Naruto had pulled every string (and a few hairdos) to get him that get-out-of-jail free card. It had been... undeniably sweet. And suddenly, every ninja with an ounce of preservation instincts had stopped pursuing Sasuke, had backed off Naruto. At the time it had been largely on accident, giving them their space, joking about how crazy they were. Well, Sakura had known then. Luckily she'd already set her sights on another blonde ages back.
Naruto huffed, deflated. "Well, I-" He stopped and shook himself. "I was hoping you could give me some advice. I mean, you've known him as long as I have and all." He confessed weakly.
So. Naruto had known Sakura would see through his excuse, be interested in gossip enough to beat the truth out of him, just to ask for advice? That slimy little-! "There are cheaper ways to ask for help, you know." She finally said through gritted teeth. Naruto shrugged.
Sakura pushed him off the bridge. Something occured to her, and she asked Naruto when he resurfaced.
"You are going to pay for those flowers, right?" She called down to him.
"But, they were just a prank!" He yelled back up.
"So? Ino put her heart and soul into those!" She argued. No way she would let her baby down. And now she could convince Ino to up the price just a bit, as payback.
"But Sakura-chan!"
"No buts!"
"Will you at least help me?"
"Fine." What made Naruto think she knew anything more about romancing pale, evil little men anyway?
However, by the time they had sat down in Naruto's apartment, him wrapped in a towel with a cup of hot chocolate, she'd worked out a plan of sorts.
"Okay. Now, I think you're on the right track. You've got to woo him traditionally, but you know Uchiha. He'll never let you get close if he realizes it. So you should set it up a bit like a joke..."
Kamitra- I believe I answered your question in the (revised) warning. (waggles eyebrows)
LoversPastForgotten- Awesome! Gigglin's are terribly important for a healthy lifestyle! You should seek many humorous stories!
manga-book-freak- Mwaha! Whittling. Perhaps Itachi has a small shop somewhere, hidden from the world, where he sells his homewhittled masterpieces. Works of indescribable beauty and grace...
SmokingPanda- You have good taste. Hyuugacest awesome.
kapusta17akuczera17- (I think that's identifiable) I-I. Thank you so much! That's perhaps the coolest compliment I have ever seen. So I'm sorry this is just a random interlude (or is it?), I'll get back to the cute bits soon, I'm just a little lost on how to write it.