CHAPTER 23

As Meg freshened up in the guest room of Robert's house her mind replayed the arguments she had with John in the run up to this trip. Shep as always was either lying at his feet watching both of them, or had his head resting on his master's knees while she sat beside them on the bench in the private garden at the end of his apartment. They never shouted too loudly nor did she need to storm out on him … they just spoke sharply insisting each was right in their view of the situation. In the end they would agree to disagree and would kiss and make up before going back to the apartment and continue with whatever they had to do.

She'd tried to reassure him that by knowing the truth she could handle his brother … that he would leave her alone … he had what he wanted Ben's life as his own, Maria and his own children as well as the respect of the community and friends. He'd connected with his baby daughter so wasn't going to throw everything away on a fling with someone who could tell the difference between the twins.

But he'd insisted his twin still had a score to settle and that her not knowing the truth as well as that connection gave it an added twist. Yes his twin loves Maria and loved Tess but she had rejected him at the cabin when she had found out the truth and again at the cliff top when she had faced the brothers together. What was more; she'd walked away from love and family and was coming back a stronger woman. He needed to reclaim her and he would do that by making her admit she still loved him and always will … not through touch because he'd have to kill her, though he would if she found out the truth but by memories of their love … Ben's love and love she still had. And knowing the truth would make her vulnerable.

She would make her rejection come from her heart as it had when they'd faced each other in the café before she knew the truth ... but without anger. It could not be of Derek playing the part of Ben who was stamping on their memories. It had to be of their real love, their real memories of the one who'd called her soulmate and that she was moving on to a different life with the possibility of love in the future and of not of having love now. If it didn't, his brother would sense something was off and he would try and trace her when she left and this time he would have time and millions of dollars to do it.

She sighed and put away her things thinking about the journey and the tingly feeling it had given her. In order to quell John's fears they decided it should be in two flights rather than one straight flight to Seattle this would also mask the fact she was not flying with Robert from Boston.

The first had been a private 'business' plane, which regularly went to a larger airport further south, the passengers concentrated on their business papers, computers etc, rather than the person sat next to them. Once in the larger airport she let her hair down and changed into something more casual then mingled with the crowds while waiting to board a commercial flight, which had and would stop at other airports.

The tingly feeling had come at Seattle airport as she quietly slipped from her group of passengers into the reception area for private flights. This was made fairly easy as they shared a common corridor and Robert's flight landed just after hers. She found her bags and gently pushed her way back to the area then mingled with Robert's group as he checked some things at the desk. They walked along the corridor waving goodbye as the group broke up leaving Robert and herself to get the car, his quiet warm words that everything was fine and she could email or ring home when she got to her room made her smile. Till she had found her soulmate again 'home' had always been where her parents lived whether that was Kansas or at Sunset Beach.

Now, as she remembered she wondered if it would change as she met her family and friends again. She put her hand on the laptop and came back to the present. The house was quiet so she knew she was safe - it would not be long just a few words and there wouldn't be any reply she knew that. She set it up and typed.

Hi

All went well. Robert and family are well. Will write again if I can. I know Shep will be with you tonight.

Love Meg xxx

She heard chattering from the girls on the stairs so sent the message and quickly deleted any trace of it before closing the laptop down. The girls' laughter got louder as they came nearer and Meg took a deep breath running the story through her mind, hoping it would stand the test.

She opened the door and was met by a raised hand ready to knock on the door and a bubbly exclamation. "Meg!! Come on foods ready … you can fill us in on how Dad has been working you way too hard! You know Steve …"

"Hey! That's a secret!" The older teenage sister butted in and seeing her sister was not going to be stopped she challenged quickly, "What about Patrick! …"

"Hey! That's not fair!" The other exclaimed and the sisters glared at each other for a long moment then broke down in giggles, which were never far away when they were around.

Through their laughter Meg reminded them gently. "Food?"

The girls caught their breaths nodded and smiled taking turns in greeting hugs; then with Meg between them they chatted and laughed their way downstairs.

oxoxo

"Your Father will be proud of you Meg so don't worry." Sue reassured her as they hugged goodbyes the following morning.

"I hope so … thank you for last night." She said warmly.

"Anytime, the kids love having you." Sue gave a gentle laugh. "Shouldn't call them kids really but young ladies sounds odd … it brings a picture of long dresses and elegance … and those two are really not into that at the moment."

Meg nodded grinning remembering the two very pretty girls in tatty clean jumpers and jeans, which went with the laughter, rough and tumble as they playfully chased each other through the house ignoring the calls of their parents. She turned and walked up the steps into the plane to find her seat and was joined by Robert after he'd said goodbye to his wife.

Then over the speaker came the announcement. "This is your pilot speaking we will be taxiing onto the runway so please make sure everything is secure and buckle up. Your waiter for the morning trip will be Robert … he is still learning … so please be patient."

Robert smiled and pressed the buzzer that told the pilot they were ready.

Meg smiled as she commented. "No hostess this morning?"

"No not on short trips … perhaps I should get a new pilot though." Meg gave a gentle shake of her head; Robert pretended to ponder then with a slight smile continued. "You're right he's too valuable, trouble is he knows it. I'll get the tea once we are up. … How are you feeling?"

Meg laughed, "Fine thank you I forgot how inquisitive your kids can be."

Robert smiled remembering last night, "Well they accepted your story, there were no bedtime queries from Sue either and she's good at finding holes in stories as the girls found out from a very young age. So now we are 'alone' we can play catch up … how are things with you and John."

Meg smiled then gave a soft laugh as she replied. "Really good thank you."

Robert gave a slow smile "So you're sleeping with him then … as in man and wife."

Meg blushed and exclaimed. "Hey I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to it was in your voice."

She looked at him wide eyed wondering how she could be so transparent with him.

He gave a chuckle then clarified his words. "That you were happy with everything. … Life if you like. … I just added two and two making four because I know the history. Don't worry no one else will do it."

She gave a short laugh and relaxed. "Okay … so I am sleeping with him, but he's still hasn't any movement in his legs … but none of us were really expecting miracles … not after the one of us finding each other."

"What about turning or lifting him." Robert asked with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile.

Meg gave another gentle laugh. "He's too big for me, all arms and legs and we decided turning would be difficult at the moment. Simon and Jackie can do it in a few minutes whereas I could twist his back or as John said twist myself." She giggled running her fingers through her hair, Robert's understanding nod with that smile was not helping her at all, she ignored him for a moment then carried on. "When we are sure he will get more mobile or if we find he does not then Jackie will show me the way to turn him without injuring myself or him."

She caught his smile and felt herself blush slightly with a slight shake of her head and a deep breath got onto safer ground. "Every day life is okay we've stopped walking on eggshells around each other; think we did that just before we saw you and Matthew actually… I'm getting more used to having Simon and Jackie around all the time; they are good, its bit like having a brother and sister around. No doubt we will step on each others toes occasionally but I think deep down we know it's the way it has to be. … Just got to remember which days laundry and cleaning are done … having said that with Shep around they seem to clean every day, sort of invisible like in most hotels.

As for food we have the choice of sending out for it from the hotel or cooking it ourselves there again it can be two or four of us so we vary it. Food shopping is done through the hotel as well; I expect the chef will get a bit peeved if we take the last steak though." She gave a chuckle "Height of luxury. Downside is we don't go out as a couple … shops, clubs, cinemas etc I don't think we will for a long time if ever but we've been for … walks with Shep."

She smiled at Robert's expression. "On the flat or smoother surfaces he's wheeling himself most of the time but anything bumpy or too far and Simon does it. 'His muscles' as John calls him, he's usually around and he takes Shep off for a longer walk if we want some privacy but never too far and John has a call button on him anyway. … John's back at the club most mornings, Jackie has him for exercise etc in the afternoon."

At his expression she huffed. "Robert! No not like that! … … My research job is great, we've been to his favourite viewpoint and saw a beautiful sunset," She laughed "Of course you didn't meet Sandy, that's the horse who pulls the coach … it's a little open air coach … suppose you could call it a trap … three could get in but it is a squash as Jack or Simon drives. … That sounds wrong … I think of driving as in a car, like a coach I see a dirty great big school coach or a fancy ornate coach with four horses pulling it … I'll have to check things out some time."

Robert chuckled and said gently. "It's okay I know what you mean. Jack showed me a picture of it and said there was a larger one coming soon for weddings etc."

Meg nodded. "Yes, I think Simon will use it locally while John is at the club, or there is a lad who can drive it if Simon can't. … Anyway Jackie and I went by car and waited for them, it was good and the road was quiet. The valley has as many moods as there are types of light and weather, varying from mysterious to really beautiful and that evening it was beautiful. Away from John … Jackie and I have been to see a film and plan to do girl evenings either in her apartment or out at a café. In time we might be able to do it with the girls at the office and that will give her a break as well as confirming I'm lodging with her."

Robert nodded and could tell she was happy and said. "Good. Jack said Jackie's friends had moved on so I was a bit worried you might find it a bit isolated especially as John can't go out much. What about his zoning out and nightmares?"

"Yeah" She sighed took a moment then continued. "He's had a few of each which is not surprising really; we hope they will steady out again. With the nightmares I've managed to talk him into calmer sleep but when I can't Simon is there to help; sometimes I'm part of them so hearing me does not help. … … Of course Shep works his magic when he zones out, those can be a bit frightening as they seem to come out of the blue … one minute he's with you the next he's zoned out and you're talking to a statue. He's admitted they happened when he was in the basement but that's all, Mandy reckons it was his way of coping … then he used to zone out to freedom and memories, now his mind reverses it or into nothing … … before June they could last for hours … only time will tell if they are getting better just like everything else."

Robert gave a little nod and commented. "I know Jack was worried what might happen when he starts walking …at least in the chair you can't fall down and as you said someone is with him most of the time … walking he will be more independent so could injure himself. … Perhaps they will go as his mind adjusts to things. … It must seem a bit like a roller coaster ride for both of you. … You've told me about your job and riding etc but how are you really deep down."

She nodded and looked out the window and silently pondered his words, knowing a quick 'Fine' was not what he wanted. True it did seem like a roller coaster ride but there again her life in Sunset Beach was one as well perhaps that was what their life was meant to be. As for her own feelings … mixed … yesterday with John they had wanted to be as normal as possible so they did some work, chatted and joked. Sort of being brave for each other knowing the only way was forward no backing down.

Their parting kiss in the apartment was warm and deep, giving each other the love and strength they knew. Then allowed each other a last quick casual holding of hands with words and smiles all round in the driveway before she got in the car. Suddenly she'd had butterflies as Jack drove her away, but she smiled and waved and they waved back. Simon and Jackie behind John rather like two guardian angels with Shep running circles round them. Surprisingly once on her first flight the butterflies had gone and after the evening with Robert's family she was happy and confident that everything would be fine.

Meg looked at him and said. "Really deep down I'm happy but I was scared as Jack drove me away and now after last night really confident … thank you." Robert smiled and nodded as she exclaimed. "Nearly forgot we, that is all four of us, had a swimming session in the pool, which was fun. He's quiet a strong swimmer even if he only uses his arms and has a special float, that means lots more to come as it should help him when he start using his legs."

Robert smiled at her excitement and remembered the pool. "Yes good idea and of course he could use it any time, providing the guest don't want it I suppose. I was sorry I could not use it along with the rest of the hotel. I hope I can come and visit occasionally … Sue could come later when John is in the picture … story wise of course." He saw the flash of apprehension and added. "Only when you are both happy with everything … Sue need not know anything about his past you know that. … Let's have the cups of tea … can't have the pilot giving me black stars for slackness … I shall never live it down." He got the smile he wanted and carried on. "What about staff knowing you are sleeping with John … I mean as far as the outside world is concerned you've just met him?"

"No one talks it's a bit of a family thing, you know families working through the generations so the loyalty is inbred and as for the newer outsiders the jobs are well paid and if you are sacked from that job you can't easily get a new one. One of the staff started a rumour because of Jackie and John's closeness so they sacked her, gave her a reference saying her work was good but as they were always asked why they were letting her go they had to explain. …. That was in March she's still out of work, no one will trust her, seems the hotel and family have a reputation for good staff. … She has said she is sorry will not do it again but it looks as though she might have to leave the town."

"Tough on her but it means you can relax regarding the other staff." He hesitated for a moment bringing out a disc and laying it on the table before carrying on making the tea at the drinks cabinet while speaking. "I did some undercover work when I was younger so I know what it is like to live a separate life from your family and friends."

As he continued Meg opened the disc case to look at the disc realising why Jack was so ready to accept Robert's help. "You will need someone away from John and Jack's family as you can't rant or rave with your family or friends. … … I've done an encrypting programme on the disc, which will stay with the pilot while we are here. All you need to do is put it into your 'work computer' then write the mail as normal it will be changed automatically I will use my disc to decode and use mine when we chat about John.

Don't download it into the computer itself though just keep it amongst some others, find a file cover for it if you need to travel with it. … When you send mail you need a subject just put 'Private for Robert'. Only use it on your personal or John's machine in an emergency. I'll recognise your work mail address and anyone seeing the mail will just think its confidential business information, so it will not be deleted as a mistake or junk mail."

He handed her, her cup of tea and gave a slow smile as he carried on. "Think of me as an Uncle or just a rubbish bin which you can yell or throw all the anger or whatever you want at or in. … I'll not take any offence at the language you may use and if you need advice I will give it. If I happen to be on line at the time I will flash one back to you and we can have a written chat coding it of course. Phone calls can be over heard or come at difficult times. The other reason is I would like to know how things are going with you and John more frequently than your odd trip to home."

Meg smiled liking the idea, she knew she could not always talk to Jackie or Mandy and there was no way she could spout off at her sister without some comeback. "Thank you, I promise to give you the good news as well as any ranting, the trips home might not be too far apart if things go well."

He nodded and put the disc in its case and had a sip of his own drink before continuing. "By the way Mat is flying his plane about ten minutes behind us … yeah, he could not resist the opportunity so the pilot who should be doing it is acting as co pilot. Just remember you are strangers we don't make contact unless we have to. Have you finally managed to sort the day out?"

She gave a gentle laugh remembering Mat was like Paul who'd anything to get away from paper work. "Oh yes. As you know Sara and Casey should be meeting me; we'll dump the bags at the apartment, Casey goes on to work then Sara and I look pretty for the photo shoot etc at the shop. Pray that the Mayor remembers to keep things short, chat to Bette for her article, check to see if there are any goodies to buy. Also check over books etc, quick word with Mum then meet Gabi and possibly a couple of friends if they can make it from work for a chat and lunch."

She smiled very sweetly as she carried on. "In the afternoon as you have sooo kindly lent me the use of the plane I will sort and pack anything I want to take back."

Robert gave a snorting laugh, which she chose to ignore as she carried on. "Looking round old haunts then Tea with the family. … There's a shot I've always wanted of the across the bay taken from the rocks not too far away from the Shock Wave … perhaps I could do that at sunset and then we go to The Deep meeting the other friends who've been working during the day or missed at lunch. Finally sleep then fly off with you in the morning, are we going to do two stop trick I did coming."

Robert finished his cup of tea before answering. "Our version of it … We will go to Seattle first for a short stop and then fly to Boston and we've listed passengers and stops but we don't have to say who stays so you will be lost in amongst the stops if anyone tries to trace you. John knows the timing so don't worry about that. You've got a full day but what about your private chat with your father?"

She looked down at her empty cup then back at him and said brightly. "Should I tell the pilot you make a good cup of tea?"

Robert smiled "Thank you for the compliment but he already knows and you, young lady are evading the question."

She laughed, "Okay I surrender …I'll meet Mum and Dad at the Shockwave in the evening just as we used to when I worked at the shop, they used to put something special in the ovens and we would eat as the evening shift came on, if it was full we would eat on the beach on blankets … I thought I would walk with Dad on the beach before we ate. … … Anything else would seem too much like the last meal together before the grand farewell, which this is not going to be, I'll be back for visits.

I'm passing the apartment over to Sara and Casey … when I come back for the birth of the twins. I'll be staying with Mum and Dad after that if all goes well if not then I'll baby sit the twins. For today though Sara and I can gossip in the afternoon before or after she rests if we don't get a chance at the shop. Unfortunately Casey is working an all day shift so I'll not see him till the teatime; Vanessa and Michael are working so I'll see them at the Deep along with the others from Lib. Corp. … … It seems so unfair really."

Robert immediately caught her meaning and said gently. "He has all that he wants now he has you."

She gave a gentle laugh, surprised she had voiced her thought and he had understood it. "Yes I suppose we both do now … especially if he manages to walk. Thank you for being here for us."

"As I said anytime, you've my number if you need it or just make for the plane and get them to ring … not that you will need it. … Derek has to be Ben now all the time and that should help."

"I know I tried reassuring John that … well I suppose you can't blame him being worried."

"No. Just remember which name to use."

Meg smiled and nodded, with that he stood up to pack their tea things away when he returned to his seat they sat quietly in their own thoughts or reading.