Chapter 27

Late morning with her tracks covered Meg's plane landed at the airport and in spite of needing to be in Boston to seal the deal made last night Robert insisted on flying with her claiming it would be cheaper than the long distance phone call he would have with Jack. Meg knew Robert wanted to make sure she was really all right; sometimes he could be just as protective as her father, which would have made her cross. But today she needed it; her episode with the twin had unsettled her.

After greetings Jack and Robert chatted while Meg watched the bags and boxes being unloaded from the plane into the van. Then with a hug, reassurances and promises to keep in touch and try out the programme on the disk soon Robert left her. She knew he would meet up with the original plane at another airport and then fly to Boston.

By mutual agreement once she knew John had been all right she listened to the music while Jack drove. Jack needed time to come to terms with what he'd been told and the new suggestions Robert had made. Meg for her part needed to come back to her life and her future here. Between thoughts she watched the sun light flicker through the trees wondering if it was just her imagination or had the leaves turned a deeper brown, red or yellow while she had gone.

By the time she walked into their apartment she knew she had found that elusive feeling she used to have at Sunset Beach and could not find this time. She realised she'd felt a whisper of it when she'd first walked in the town with Paul that first day and it had become stronger as she'd watched John drive away from the club with Jack. Now she knew she was really home where her heart was … no matter what happened.

She stopped just inside the doorway and smiled as she spotted her favourite flowers in several vases on the tables. She knew food was cooking and caught a glimpse of a change at the far end of the room what was it – white muslin curtains, and a screen to make the bedroom area more private. She didn't look down feeling Shep sniff round her legs in his usual but quiet greeting her eyes were on John siting between the kitchen and dinning area… she knew questions would wait he was looking concerned almost as if he could not believe his eyes… what that she was here ... had actually returned.

Her smile grew with the love she felt and she saw him slowly smile back, love reaching his eyes making them sparkle, as he realised she was really there and it was not his mind playing tricks.

No words were needed between them.

She put her load on the chairs and went to him leant over and kissed him, finding the warm rush of love was given as well as received. As they broke apart he ran his hand over hers then started to move his chair towards the lounge area and stopped because the door opened as Simon and Jack came in loaded down.

They silently put the boxes and bags on the table and the floor. Shep with his tail wagging started to sniff round them and got a quiet but firm "No" from Jack so backed off and sat by the kitchen area content to watch everything.

John grinned and exclaimed. "My! You did need the whole plane didn't you!"

"I left the big stuff behind for next time." she replied innocently and straight faced though her eyes were bright with joy.

John laughed as Jack snorted and said to him, "The pilot muttered something about leaving the kitchen sink behind ... Just as well really because you've already got one." Meg smiled with a little laugh knowing that the pilot had not minded at all as Jack carried on in a serious tone. "Simon, should we open up the bit above us as Meg's room is already full?"

Simon exclaimed. "Oh thanks, you can face Jackie with that idea; the stairs and door into it are on our side not John's." He paused with a thinking expression on his face but laughter in his eyes as he carried on "I have this very funny feeling it was yours and Mandy's junk that went up there when we converted the place!" then the smile brightened because the door from the other apartment had opened and Jackie came in with a tray of drinks he exclaimed. "That's good timing."

"All right sorry I spoke." Jack said with loud sigh.

"Something wrong Jack" Jackie teased recognising his sigh.

"No love, we are just going to fill Meg's room to the ceiling and beyond." Then giving Simon a look and tone that would have made any recruit jump into action carried on. "Simon's going to get the last few things aren't you!"

It did not faze Simon at all, just the opposite as he came back with a quick retort. "Gee thanks Dad! But aren't you the one who has experience with wild things … you know Friday night parties … handcuffing them as they jump about so they don't escape."

Jack came back immediately with straight tone and face but his eyes sparkled with a tease. "Nope! Not animals, that's your department… you know horses cantering off into the distance."

Simon looked at his wife with a long suffering look and sighed gently as he carried on firmly. "No Jackie you can't have one!" as he turned towards to door he huffed and muttering. "Even if it is white, cuddly and stuffed ... goodness only knows what Shep's going to make of it."

Jack gave a gentle laugh at his daughter's expression knowing how much she loved stuffed furry toys and gave a shake of his head at her questioning look. He decided to make room and picked up one of the boxes and some bags and walked through to Meg's room, guessing he'd be back for the action if there was any.

Shep sat to attention watching the door having heard his name.

Sort of half listening John and Meg had left them to it; they had other things on their minds.

John said quietly "Are you all right?"

She smiled and reassured him. "Yes and I will be able to cope better next time. Don't worry I told them it will be visits not the expected return to stay and they've accepted it. And you, I missed you."

He held her hand and said truthfully but with a glint in his eyes. "Missed you dreadfully but as you can see everyone survived my bark, I guess it was fun seeing your friends as well, how is everyone?"

As John finished Simon came in and Shep was at his heels immediately head in the air sniffing and looking a tentatively. Simon commanded. "No Shep! …. Leave it!"

Jackie leant against the kitchen unit with a huge smile and a gentle laugh and exclaimed with true affection. "He is so beautiful."

Simon looked at her and shook his head and mouthed 'no', they had others. He had managed to carry the last box of goodies while tucking one arm round the waist of a very large snowy white teddy bear, whose dark eyes seemed to be looking at them in a slightly resigned manner as if to say 'Don't worry I'm used to being dragged around from place to place.'

Looking at Simon John stayed and silent being flung into flashbacks of 'that bear' the words it carried and those eyes that made him want it for Meg - so she would not feel so alone when he was not with her. … How in Liberty Corp office he just gave it to her Benjy had thought it was for him and hijacked it and Meg had not objected hoping it would build bridges between them. … The bear was too big for the boy to walk and cuddle so it was lovingly dragged from one place to another by an ear, head or paw or paws and those eyes always seemed to say to him 'its okay it's my role in life.' But it was also his role in life to be cuddled up to and loved at any time and especially as the boy listened and fell asleep listening to his night time stories.

Seeing John's smile Meg guessed he was deep in memory and said gently with a smile. "I thought I should bring him home to his true owners. He's been cuddled as asked and guarded my bedroom. Thank you for the thought."

John gave a little nod staying silent her words grounding him to now and Meg carried on realising he needed to know how the bear was returned to her. "Your brother returned him to me this time last year via a messenger, all nicely boxed with a short thank you note from Benjy saying his parents had brought him a silver-grey one which he would love just as much as this one."

Shep stood back watching as Simon put the box down on the last free chair then carried the bear and put it on sofa so Meg could sit next to it. As soon as Simon stepped back Shep was up on the sofa and sat beside the bear sniffing and nudging it with his nose giving very quiet growls when it did not move.

"Shep down! … Leave him!" John commanded sharply.

Instead of obeying Shep gave the bear two more nudges and it toppled onto the floor lying looking up at the ceiling. Shep then jumped off the sofa and stood beside the bear and looked at his Master with a half reproachful expression and manner but his tail gave a slow wag.

John gave a slight smile and shake of his head realising it was the first time Shep had jumped on the sofa and as Shep looked down at the bear's face so they had eye contact John sternly commanded "Shep! Leave it! … Bed!"

Shep stepped back and looked at his Master and Meg said quietly. "Guess he can sit on the floor by the fireplace or stay in my room."

John nodded.

Listening and half watching Shep Meg went over and picked the bear up, she knew it had her scent on it so Shep would know she owned it. She picked up the bear and smoothed it down then sat it down in the alcove made by the bookcase, fireplace and the end of the sofa. She reckoned it was cool and safe there if Shep left it alone.

As soon as Meg moved Shep walked quietly over to his usual place in front of the fire and watched with his tail giving the odd wag. When Meg put the bear in place and started to move away he lay down letting his tail give a slow wag then looked at his master before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

Jackie had taken the opportunity to put two cups of tea on the table for them then went quietly back to the kitchen area for her own. Simon and Jack quietly drank theirs before carrying on with the task of putting the other things in Meg's room.

John gave a gentle laugh understanding Shep's body language, "I suppose he's got a point, he's not allowed up there … at least we don't have to feed this one. … We will watch what happens I would hate to see the stuffing all over the place." As he parked himself in the gap between the sofas he asked. "So how were things?"

Meg smiled and nodded then curled herself up on the sofa beside him and answered. "Everything went well … it was a bit spooky seeing him being taken as you … they are happy, Sammy is beautiful and Benjy is a credit to the family. Your brother gave me the impression that if I was around full time there might have been trouble but as I'm not there is no reason to worry. Everyone accepted my cover story, AJ and Bette are happy, she was her usually bubbly self accepted it all but asked for more spicy news at Christmas."

She got a silent smile and nod and carried on. "Mum is very happy especially as Dad seems more relaxed. He's much better towards me … he understands why I need the space. …Just to prove he listens he knew there was something more than a casual relationship, picked it up from my tone apparently. So I explained I'd met someone and you were once married but it is over has been for a while and we would be living as partners. He's not going to tell Mum or Sara till I say so. … Mum will understand and accept it when Dad explains he's given his blessing."

John gave a nod again staying silent, seeing the sparkle in her eyes as she carried on. "Casey's going to make a brilliant father he's really taking care of Sara and looking forward to the 'job' as he laughingly calls it. There's a possibility he'll be working for AJ but he has to sort that out more money and safer. Sara is well… Sara and her health is good … the twins are active so she's having to rest more ... has trouble getting up sometimes." She gave a gentle laugh as she remembered her sister's remarks about getting stuck.

Then his gentle words took her breath away. "Tell me what he did." John emphasized the 'he' slightly knowing Meg would understand. He knew she needed to talk about her trip rather than bottle it up in a few words and although he was content to call his brother Ben he knew she had difficult with it.

Meg looked at him, she had hoped her words would have been enough she didn't want to cause him anymore pain; she knew he was feeling guilty about her having to face 'him' alone and leave her family behind. Now she would have admit his fears were right and she could not go back to live if she needed to or stay for long visits as she had hoped. She uncurled and got her cup of tea needing those extra minutes to think things through.

He watched her and after the first couple of sips said gently. "Do you remember the day on the beach after Maria had come into our lives and we had been in trouble? … I had to go to work but was too restless so came back home early and met you on the shore line. We both knew we were in trouble with our feelings and after walking back to Ocean Drive we promised we would tell each other the truth. For the first time we both admitted our feelings about Maria, you wished I had never met her and I admitted I wished I had met you first. … We found it gave us strength and promised each other we would talk to each other. … If people had not played with our lives we would have moved on properly and been together. … We need that truth now Meg."

She gave a slight nod remembering the day and how good it felt to admit her feelings and the surprise about his for Maria. She had always though that Maria as his first and all consuming love. … Like then he rarely talked about those days, not willingly and when it he did it was the odd word and only if she brought up a memory or when they were planning this trip. … Never any detail….

As she showed no sign of leaving the now half empty cup of tea, he knew his fears were right and he gave a gentle sigh saying. "I know my twin Meg."

She looked at him suddenly coming out of her thoughts and he continued. "My guess is he made it known to you somehow that he was going to be out of Sunset for the day … that would enable you to enjoy your friends and family. But at The Deep, with the right music, memories, friends and family around you he made his entrance with Samantha in his arms. … When you looked at him, you thought you would see Derek as he was in the warehouse when he pretended to be me. I know then you sensed something was wrong but did not understand it. This time though you knew the difference you saw and felt your soulmate in his entirety."

She was amazed at his accuracy and nodding and put her cup on the table; his voice was soft and loving as he carried on. "Meg sweetheart there is only one now … and he's in Sunset Beach with his family."

That statement hit her like shower of ice water and understanding came as she listened to his gentle voice. "Whatever happened he would not have shown his true colours, too many people around. He gets his thrill from knowing he has separated you from me with you never fully realise the true meaning of our love. But you still have 'that' something there, which can be woken at his command.

You knew the truth and you had to stay silent as you saw everyone reacting to him and that must have hurt, I hope Robert was close by and able to help you through it."

She nodded as his eyes sought hers and as they looked at each other, she felt as though he could read her like a book and knew how wrong she had been. She saw no cheering, no 'I told you so or warned you', just love understanding and trying to give her comfort for her loss.

His gentle voice washed over her. "Some when though, he would have needed to let his other side see you … even touch you, just to prove he could and get away with it. After all if you touched him and felt nothing he would claim it was his strengthened love for Maria and family that stopped it.

It was most probably in the morning at the airport when it would be quiet just you and Robert; 'he' knows you hate fuss. Was he waiting for you? … He would need you to stop so he could walk up to you, possibly claiming he saw your distress the night before and needed to check everything was all right.

Was that when he became Derek, brought up memories about the Casita, Santa Barbara our happy times and tried to kiss you?" he sighed quietly watching her as he admitted. "Nothing was hidden from him Meg I'm sorry." Then stronger showing his love for her said, "But you in your gentle way reminded him about his family and asked him not to bother yours telling him it was not his way. Then he became Ben again and wished you well."

Unable to say the word 'yes' she nodded feeling a shiver run through her it was so accurate and told in the same gentle voice she loved – the one they both had. He knew his brother so well because she knew Jack and Robert had not said anything … they were going to leave it her … and she hadn't need to.

His gentle "Meg." brought her out of her thoughts. "He will always have 'that' need … I'm sorry I should never have put you in the position where you cannot visit your family in safety … and yet you have to otherwise ..."

"John" She said softly seeing in his face as she had heard in his voice not only sadness and understanding but also guilt, her hand sought and found his and holding it she carried on. "He may have a hang up about me but it was my choice to stay with you … please don't feel guilty about it. Robert was there and helped he is willing to stay around any time I go back we will work things out love."

But his dark eyes told her it was not working he did not trust the twist of fate that had brought them together again or that someone would be willing to help them to that extent. She put her love in her voice as she spoke her eyes never wavering from his. "You always called me your Soulmate do you really think I want to be away from you now I understand what it really means to both of us. I will always be here for you … for us. My family will understand."

"You lose so much."

"So much more if I left you."

She saw the slow smile start with his mouth and end deep in his eyes and knew she had him back. She matched his smile then kissed his hand letting it brush her face then carried on in her normal voice. "Mat was also at the airport and found out your brother got his car towed away so that's another one up for us. Might even persuade him it's a lost cause. … Now, are you going to tell me about the changes you have made and how you got on with Val … I assume they've left?"

She looked over towards the sleeping area and handed him his cup of tea, which he drank letting the feelings about his twin settle and as he remembered Val gave a gentle laugh and answered her question. "Yes she's great, put her with Jackie and the pair goes nuts in the nicest possible way, she checked over the garden and sorted out the Vicar as well. They had to leave early as one of the aunts is playing up. Paul said he would see you as usual. The other changes can wait till later lets go for a walk as it's nice, Stephen is around the stables so Jack and Simon can finish unpacking."

As soon as the word 'walk' was out of John's mouth Shep was up tail wagging eyeing the door proving to everyone he slept with his ears open.

Meg laughed "Okay what about food though."

"It will be ready in about half an hour. Do you mind if we join you?" Jackie said knowing they might want to eat in private.

"No that will be great I can catch up on your side of the story then." Meg said smiling sweetly at John.

"Hey that's not fair … Just for that the changes are definitely for later." John teasingly huffed as he manoeuvred himself towards the door Shep had already opened, and carried on. "Val wants to join the riding group to the waterfall … I think she's after a sleepover in the hotel as a bonus cannot blame her really. She'll bring more details about the roof for the garden I've got a sketch to show you later. ...

oxoxo

Meg sat at the computer feeling a bit guilty as well as wondering what to say to her sister. She had promised to mail as soon as she arrived home and she had planned to add the necessary hours as cover. But things had snowballed and it was now late evening, so Sara would not read it till the next morning, she hoped she would not be worried. She glanced over to John who was reading in bed and found it was hard to believe that she'd been away from him; it was as though Sunset Beach had been a dream.

After a short walk to the path and throwing a couple of sticks for Shep they went to the garden and chatted about their days apart and the plans for the roof. Over a light meal she found out just how Val's sense of fun had affected Jackie add to that Paul's sense of humour and she knew it was just what John needed. During the chatter John reminded the girls the film they were interested in would be changing after the weekend. Then Simon cheekily dropped in the idea of a short horse ride with guests while John had his session with Jackie that afternoon. She knew she should unpack bags and boxes as there would be swimming on Sunday to fit in as well … but hey it had been way too tempting especially as the ride was short and into mountains rather than the valley … so yes unpacking waited and would wait and it had been a beautiful ride. Their quiet evening together went south as they'd joined the rest of the family in the sunken garden for a barbecue.

Now she knew she had to write the mail and the little voice of reason told her to warn her sister about Ben but also to be careful as she knew how her sister could react to hints and warnings and that could unwittingly cause problems.

Hi Sis

Just arrived back, great to see everyone looking so well.

Trip was good (see the plane did manage to get airborne and something with wheels managed to transport this end.) AND we found room for everything in the apartment. Okay so I unloaded things and had a snack before I sat down to write this, I suppose the fact most of my bits and pieces are in boxes helps … hope I have not just tempted fate there … Ugh I'll have to sort things out over the coming weeks.

I really don't want to make a big thing out of this but Ben was at the airport and was a little bit pushy … I told him to back off and not to bother you or the rest of the family with questions. Please don't tell Dad I know he likes Benjy and I think it was a one off but I'd rather Ben was kept out of the loop as far as I'm concerned. (No back chat from you to him either just let things settle.)

It seems quiet not having you around. (I mean family as well of course). Before you start tutting I hope to go riding if it stays nice and have booked for a film tomorrow night with friends - sort of wondering it they might like an unpacking evening (Guess that might be taking it a bit too far) possibly go for a swim in the pool on Sunday then of course work on Monday so don't worry about me.

Look forward to the big day will speak to you next Sunday mail if anything big happens in the meantime.

One hour photo shops are great so tell Casey the snaps came out. I'm going to frame the one of the sunset.

Love you

Meg

She pressed the send button and picked up the photo, he had managed to capture everything she'd wanted him to and the sunset well was the best ever and put it in an envelope ready to take to the shop for a frame tomorrow then packed up the machine.

She went over to John and asked quietly as she sat on the edge of the bed. "The changes?" Every time she had asked there had been a quiet "Not yet" even Jackie would not give a hint.

He looked at her and laughed then started with the obvious and pointed them out as well, "As you can see Madam the small wardrobe is for a few things you need during the week. Save you having to run to the other room each day. Dressing table to help you look beautiful, not that you really need it, the draws … well you know what you can fill those with." She giggled at his tone of voice and the sparkling delight in his eyes. "The screen is so you can change in private rather than the bedroom, you can use either bathrooms assuming you can get to yours of course …hey that's not fair!" he complained as she'd very gently punched him, seeing he was not going to get an apologetic kiss he carried on. "The curtains give privacy from the rest of the apartment but I can still look across the room if I'm stuck here for any reason. We'll have to reorganise again once the equipment is out the way, so everything is moveable."

She smiled liking the idea and knowing it was put in for her benefit gave him a kiss which he returned and then said gently. "Okay be back in a while." Then knowing the state of her room she laughed adding. "If I'm not you'd better send Shep to find me."

He chuckled resisting the temptation to say anything about the bathroom again and as she left him pressed the buzzer to call Simon.

oxoxo

She transferred a few essentials knowing she could get more in the morning, using the screen she changed into her nightdress, half expecting comments from John who was now settled for the night. But he stayed quiet knowing she would need her privacy and time to get used to the idea of changing in here.

He watched as she walked over to the curtains and started to try and close them, he gave a gentle chuckle and she turned round her eyes sparkling at him; her expression was one that he loved.

"What's the story?" she asked recognising that chuckle.

John patted the bed so she left the curtains and got in beside him making herself comfy.

"They started off as full width and length curtains one each side tied at the waist, if you see what I mean and you untie then pull across if needed. … Umm we tried it and Simon and I had an accident so we changed it to the present curtains, which are secured in place by the ties and above wheelchair wheel height. The tops of the curtains can be pulled out a bit more if we wanted to close them a bit more."

She giggled and gave him a look, which he knew well, so sighing he carried on. "Okay the gory details just to please you. You realise of course I'm not too sure what happened, as I was the one underneath … squashed. … It was nearer the bed and the host was out of action, being repaired tomorrow, not that we would have used it anyway. But it was just the way the day was going … Simon and I were a sixes and sevens. Anyway Simon was trying to transfer me and somehow the wheels of the chair got caught in the material, which came unlooked and we ended up in a tangled heap.

Swear that dog can giggle … he barked and called Jackie who had a fit of giggles too but eventually decided to help us. …Guess she realised no boss no pay … Simon's going on a diet … Luckily Val had gone back otherwise we would not have lived to tell the tale … we chatted on the phone later she's okay with the alteration to her idea. … It was only temporary anyway. … Just more temporary than she thought."

John's sad eyed expression as he told the last bit just tipped Meg's sympathy into full laughter which was joined by his. When they finished they kissed and then she snuggled close to him and gently they came together washing away their fears, loneliness and renewed their love for each other.