Chapter 31
Meg found some thick woolly jumpers and smart trousers to wrap up in as November came with cold winds and frosty mornings. She enjoyed getting to know her new job and boss though she knew his name from the Friday afternoon business meetings John had in the apartment, which she'd teasingly called 'tea parties'. Her 'girl evening' circle had grown to include her friends from her old job as well as Jackie.
When time allowed she snatched a lunch with John at the Computer Club, he was there as he started late due to the weather and as he was out less they had cosy times round the fire. Emails from home were just the normal everyday things and she started to feel as though hibernation was starting but then two weeks in and things started to pick up.
The roof for the garden came and was fitted, Simon found an outdoor fire stove and after a family wood hunting expedition they tried it out and found they could toast muffins on it. At a flick of a switch the roof slide quietly into place, the stove lit and the evergreen hedge doing its best the wind sneaked in through the archway so they could only stay out a little longer.
Also a few days earlier than promised the work to clear the pathway to the waterfall began and ideas for a seating area there was confirmed and set in motion, everyone agreed that rides from the hotel would be a hit any time of the year.
As the month drew to a close the excitement did not stop or so it seemed to Meg as today was going to be special. She'd come back early from Paul's office and could feel the excitement growing as she met Mandy out side John's apartment.
Mandy could see Meg's eyes sparkling in anticipation and she was worried on two accounts it would prove to be too much for John or and he would zone out in flashback and that would frighten both of them. There was of course the disappointment if he could not manage anything. As Meg met her she put her hand on her arm to stop her for a moment and said gently. "Don't expect too much, you know it's easy to talk about it but actually doing it is a totally different matter, if he manages it he could still zone out on us."
Meg nodded they'd been through it and said. "I know, to be honest I'm just happy we've got this far." She took a deep breath to calm herself, in the work outs in the pool and in the apartment he could swing his legs and he could shuffle between the bed and the chair or onto the sofa so Simon was doing less, though was around to make sure there were no mishaps. Today's session was crunch time to see if he could stand up and use his legs and she hoped to walk in causally and find him doing it and give him gentle support of just being there.
oxoxo
Meg walked in knowing Mandy was behind her and saw Jackie at one end of the bars, John with Simon behind him at the other. John's body was upright and ridged, though his head was down as he looked at his feet, his hands gripping each rail in a death's grip; his arms locked nothing looked as if it would move.
Jackie was trying to get John to relax his hold so he could move himself forward to the take the step, the first step, she reckoned just a fraction of a inch would break the ice, prove he could do it, then the rest would slowly follow. Everything had been fine, that morning he had chatted about it to Meg and herself then followed the usual pattern for the day no sign of fear or hesitation.
They had gone through the movements as he sat on the edge of the bed after the exercises on the bed and his legs had responded. He eased into the chair for the ride across to the bars quiet happily and Simon supported him in position between the bars. Simon had eased Ben's legs into position for the first couple of steps and his legs to his weight. Now though it looked as though everything had gone out the window and they were back not only to square one but they needed to get him to relax enough to let go of the bar so Simon could get him in the chair.
She knew he had not zoned out on them and reckoned he could still hear her words even if he had not heard the swish of the door opening. As usual the music played in the background and at the moment it was soft with the singer starting to tell her story. Any feeling the song might have had on any of them was suddenly lost as John swore several times.
Meg could not help but smile at Mandy's reaction and quiet words. "Oh boy, that's bad Meg." She nodded and walked over to the bars, when she was level with John she said gently. "Bad day love."
His reply was hardly intelligible which perhaps was just as well, he stopped as her presence finally registered but he didn't look at her.
She knew she had his attention and gently put her hand on his and ducked under the bars so she stood in front of him and touched the other hand.
He brought his head up slightly so he was looking in her eyes and gave a short strangled laugh and a gentle. "Yeah, there's a splinter in the way."
She looked at him and smiled then looked down at his feet and gently blew and said seriously. "It's gone now." then she looked back into his face and added gently. "So close your eyes or watch me and listen to Jackie. I'll move my hands and you bring yours forward to find my touch, Simon's behind you and will not let you fall. Trust us and our love John."
He looked at her and gave a gentle sigh and nodded.
oxoxo
Mandy watched fascinated seeing Meg's influence react on him - with the sound of her voice and touch of her hand it was as though her confidence was flowing through him. She knew he was not going to walk properly straight away there was bound to be a mind block to get over as well as the physical thing of getting the rhythm and muscles going, which everyone takes for granted till they have to start again. She saw Jackie's expression and realised this must be the reaction she had witnessed in the café when the couple first met up again. If so this was something really special as it carried on growing along with the song on the CD and as the singer came to the climax of her song Mandy hoped the fairytale was not going to come crashing down when he stumbled or worse stayed frozen.
oxoxo
Meg listened to Jackie as she talked them through the movements, watching him closely as she felt his hand slowly release its tight grip on the bar. Her light touch did not hinder his small movement forward, and then she did the same on the other side to balance himself, but his feet would not move. She could see his frustration as he looked down at the floor as if hoping that would make them move and then he vented his frustration in a hiss. "Damn it, too bloody tall!"
They all understood his frustration after all he had walked since childhood and it seemed such a natural thing to do now he knew his legs worked. Meg reassured him gently. "Simon's behind you, bars at your sides you're not going to fall." But she couldn't stop the giggle in her voice as she carried on. "Simon could cut your legs off if you wish."
To the others surprise there was no swearing back at her remark just a cheeky giggle as he relaxed and a gentle comment. "No, too messy and Jackie would have to clear it up, anyway he hates the sight of blood!"
Meg knew she had got him going, her laugh seemed to do it to him these days, although she had not felt it had changed that much, perhaps it always had got to him only difference was he was willing to show it now.
Jackie called out trying not to laugh at the vivid picture in her mind. "John stop looking down, look back at Meg and lean slightly on your right, that will help you release the weight on your left leg then let Simon kick it forward if you can not do it yourself."
They all knew it was basic knowledge, which they had gone through but it helped ground them back to the job in hand. John looked back at Meg and she felt their trust and love join as she repeated Jackie's words and watched as he moved and Simon came in behind him with a gently push to move his leg.
It was an ungainly and small movement, which was repeated with the other leg. Meg felt his hands move on the bar so slid hers back and moved a bit. He moved his so they touched hers again that left his legs to be moved. Simon was ready just behind him and Jackie talking in the background again. It was ungainly slow and hard work which carried till Meg realised she was at the end of the bars and said quietly to him. "I'm at the end, Jackie and Simon will be at your side use their shoulders take couple of steps so Mandy can put the chair behind you."
She watched him nod; and keeping in front of him she moved back Jackie and Simon quickly moved to each side. John had in fact taken the last two steps without Simon's help and his movement were better even if still awkward. John released his hands from the bars and moved them forward and slowly took the shuffling step, he moved one hand to Simon's shoulder the other to Jackie's still watching Meg and with several shuffling steps moved away from the bar.
He gave a gasp of pain Simon and Jackie moved quickly to take his weight as his body started to crumple. Mandy was there with the chair and they eased him into it. He breathed the words "Cramp legs and back" and he was whisked off to the bed and then eased face down onto it. Jackie and Simon worked together to ease his legs and back, Meg was feeling elated yet worried found herself kneeling on the sofa watching, along with Shep who was watching from passageway.
After a while the activity around the bed stopped and Jackie pulled a blanket over the now sleeping figure and said quietly with a smile. "Tea I think." Simon moved away clicked his fingers at Shep, who got up wagging his tail and took him for a walk.
Mandy sat beside Meg and said reassuringly "That was really very good." As Meg slipped round into a sitting position she added "His fear might not actually be about walking more about Ben and John coming together."
Meg sighed. "So his pain might not be real and he won't walk."
Mandy gave a slight smile. "Some of it might not be physical but it will be real to him either way and it could hinder his walking, we will just have to wait and see. Don't get me wrong he wants to walk and has over come mountains to get this far but I'm not too sure he's ready to merge the two persons into one. Hopefully he will do better tomorrow; you certainly helped him over come the first stumbling block." They both smiled at her words as she warned her gently. "He'll most probably have nightmares again so get ready to move out the way and don't be afraid to call Simon or Jackie."
Meg nodded understanding the seriousness of it and commented. "We could hear his frustration but he was really frightened I could see it in his eyes."
Mandy nodded glad she was willing to talk and said. "His past and present have to be moulded together gradually and gently rather than the sudden clash he must be feeling at the moment. I know you've managed to start a bit with his past in Sunset Beach the odd memory and of course the emails from Sara have helped especially now he is acknowledged there. Though of course it is a double edged sword as you've to cope with the fact they will want to or possibly expect to talk to him and you've got to nicely make they understand its out of the question."
As Meg nodded she paused then carried on. "John's made a wall around his childhood when ever I've tried to talk about it he's say he was loved and loved them but nothing else. We need to gently break this wall down and I think you talking about childhood memories will be good. Don't expect much from him it will be a case of accepting it is all right to talk about it. I expect he will come to me at first then to you in bits and pieces. For now he needs praise and rest."
Meg though back over their recent conversations and said. "It's still only the odd word or two about Sunset and it's more my side than his."
"That's fine he is willing to do it as well as listen to yours and that's a good thing. You talking about emails from Sara have helped a great deal."
Meg attention was drawn back to John as Jackie came over with the drinks and Simon came back from the walk, Shep immediately lay on the floor beside the bed so he could watch his master sleep Mandy gave a gentle laugh and commented softly. "He will be fine Shep."
At which Shep put his head on his paws and closed his eyes.
They talked quietly together about tomorrow's work out, and then the others got food from the other apartment. Shep stirred as John woke up and Meg went to him, hoping he would move on his own.
John slowly focused on her and smiled. "Thank you. Was that good or bad?" He tried to move so he could sit up but failed, his voice showed his disappointment as he admitted. "I'm stiff and stuck."
She helped him and replied gently. "Do not expect miracles what you managed was good."
"Simon did a lot of pushing though, … I know slowly does it." he huffed "I did it as a child nothing should stop me now, I mean once learnt never forgotten surely." There was frustration in his voice.
Simon came over with the chair so Meg moved out the way and gradually John manoeuvred into it.
She noticed even now Simon was doing less and smiled saying gently. "Yes but as a child you had less fears. Now! tea and as Auntie Jackie says an early night … and who are we to disagree." She added with a warm voice.
His tone was lighter as he replied. "Now that bit I agree with providing you are there with me of course..."
"Ssh we have guests remember!" Meg jumped in quickly knowing he could tease her very easily.
John grinned and exclaimed. "Oh come on they are not guests!" Simon and Jackie laughed; he looked at Meg and said gently and warmly. "Point taken." then added in his normal voice. "Tea sounded good then we will beat them at cards."