Chapter 38

The extra days made all the difference for Meg, she wrapped and exchanged some Christmas gifts and promised to send others later. She had the fun of seeing her sister and Casey's delighted reaction to the rocking chairs as well as seeing them used. She also watched as Casey introduced the twins to their new room though they would be in their parents' bedroom to begin with so Sara could feed them easily at night.

As they mucked in to help under her mother's and Casey's watchful gaze she helped 'change' and bath one of the twins. Then another time when she had a camera in her hand she had the chance in spite of giggles film Casey getting sprayed as he 'changed' Mark. She knew it would not be the last time either, during other times she marvelled that these twins had snuggled insider her sister, it didn't seem possible now. They squirmed around so much and could sound so loud and desperate when they made their needs known and yet could also so be so peaceful and still when asleep. She also notice there was a different quietness when they were awake and just wanted a cuddle with those dark eyes watching the person doing the cuddling. Of course it often ended in a gentle nuzzle for food regardless who was doing the cuddling and a cry when nothing came forth.

She enjoyed family chats about their future plans for Sunset Sisters and the Shock Wave and sometimes about nothing in particular making her feel really part of the family again. She stored all these memories up so she could revisit them at a future time and didn't contradict them when they assumed as Sara could not travel she would not either, and was pleased her mother didn't say anything about her visiting for the birth. That bridge would be crossed later, for her part she enlarged on the things she'd emailed them and about her jobs and how she found her new bosses and was pleased they didn't push about John at all.

She didn't realise they didn't need to push; they saw her happiness in the way she talked about the things she could talk about and that made them happy. They also accepted that far away look that came in really quiet times when she'd been left on her own for while and stood looking out of a window and was brought back to them by either a quiet word or a cry from the twins.

Then they got Robert's call that they could go home in the afternoon. That meant the overnight bag had to be packed, the rest of the luggage had already been put on the plane. There were hugs and a few tears in the apartment and promises of emailed pictures of the twins etc. Her parents though knowing she hated airports farewell insisted on driving her there to meet Robert and to say goodbye to Mandy and Jack … she could not refuse them that.

oxoxo

At the airport it was a flurry of hellos and goodbyes and as her parents hugged and kissed her goodbye they reaffirmed the fact that phone calls would be still one-way but to Sara's apartment making them a family occasion. Reasons were understood and accepted and in an emergency this end Robert would be contacted. Joan lingered her goodbye and took her daughter to one-side and with all the love she could put into words reassured her she was happy for her, even if she didn't agree with not being married or fully understand the reasons for the secrecy. Meg found she could only smile and nod her understanding, and fought back the urge to explain all.

At Robert's gentle call she left them, watching her as she went to the plane. She got to the top of the stairs and looked back and waved to them then went in and found her window seat. She looked out the window and watched them get smaller as the plane taxied to take off.

The others in the plane left her alone ready to be there for her when she needed them. They all knew even if she didn't fully realise it herself she was saying a final goodbye to Sunset Beach and her past there.

oxoxo

The flight plan showed they were going to Boston with stops on the way. No one would know whether they were fuel pick ups or passenger put downs or just weather stops. Anyone asking would set off warning signals that Robert had set up and if they got triggered he knew what to do.

In spite of the weather warnings the flight was a good one and Meg found she dozed and daydreamed till Robert's conversation brought her back to the present. She spotted snow covered countryside and realised they were nearly home and had not gone to the other airport first and concentrated on what was being said.

"Yes, AJ reckons Casey is a really good worker. As there are different ideas about conservation we'll just have to wait and see what happens." Robert realised he had Meg's attention and asked. "Your parents all right after the shock I mean?"

Meg smiled "Yes thanks, Mum jumped to the idea that Jack and Mandy were John's parents, which gave me a scare." She smiled at the couples expressions knowing their feelings towards John. "She also thought the baby might have been John's last wish but I convinced her otherwise and Mum and Dad have accepted I love him. Of course it helped the twins were fine. In chatting Dad dropped thoughts of putting a manager in the Shock Wave, which could free them up a bit for family duties. I suppose. … A lot of it will depend on the alterations being finished for Christmas and how trade picks up … might make it easier for them to move on to a new project somewhere else." She sighed and added. "This feels like a big game of chess with people as the players it's so creepy."

"Trouble is it's like Derek's game." Mandy said quietly.

"Mandy No!" Meg exclaimed horrified by the suggestion.

Mandy explained gently. "Derek used to play with Ben's life all the time Meg, planning his next move for him with or without his knowledge, sometimes with threats or punishment if he broke the rules. Of course the rules changed all the time and Ben did not necessarily know that either. You could say the only difference is we are trying to get your family reunited safely. Have you thought what we do if Casey or Hank don't take the bait and leave Sunset Beach? "

Meg was silent for a moment taking that thought in then said slowly. "We live separate lives as I might not be able to visit if the baby takes after John." It had been easier to say that before the twins arrived and deny the fact she knew what John felt about her leaving her family behind.

Mandy said gently understanding Meg's hesitation. "John wants you to have your family around you … especially as you will be having their grandchild, Sara's niece or nephew. He sees pain on both sides."

"Then we tell them the truth." Meg replied quickly, it was so obvious.

Robert said equally quickly. "Then they will move … and on mass …and immediately … possibly unwittingly telling Derek something is wrong."

"No, they could stay a while, move slowly." Meg insisted.

Robert started more forcefully. "No, Hank will n…

Mandy seeing this could get a bit heated butted in calmly "Let's wait and see shall we. I hope those roads are clear Jack."

Jack understanding the change of subject smiled as he answered. "Of course they are, after all chief is back in town!" then added darkly. "If not, traffic and car park duty for the lot of them!"

They laughed knowing Jack was a good officer to his men and as the plane taxied to a halt Jack exclaimed. "Oh look they've got the people carrier and a truck for us!"

Robert chuckled "Guess your reputation gets around Meg."

"That's not fair!" Meg exclaimed trying to look hurt but their smiles caught her giggle button and her laugh was infectious.

After they'd unbuckled and started to get ready to leave the plane, Robert handed Meg a piece of paper adding. "Give regards to John and here's my list of dates for a visit, remember I'll even be Father Christmas for you."

Meg managed to control herself, at the thought of him down a chimney, enough to reply. "I know you will and I'll let you know when."

She gave him a hug and a thank you then it was organised chaos as the things were transferred to the van and they got ready for the drive back home.

From the people carrier she saw the plane taxi back out and fly off, amazed that she could have found such a friend, and then she silently corrected that … to group of friends as they were all like that.

oxoxo

The journey from the airport was uneventful and she enjoyed the peace that snow always brought to the countryside and for a while she was back on the farm in winter. Because they all knew driving on snow-cleared roads could be difficult they let Simon do it in peace, that was after he had reassured them the hotel was still standing and John had not left town.

They turned into the drive down to the apartment and light out side the apartment drove the winter darkness away Meg saw John's mail had been right the snow was cleared right down to the stables. She smiled, the door was open and he was leaning against the wall watching them. She guessed the driver in the van must have radioed they were coming; Simon hadn't had the chance too. Also Jackie would not have allowed John out in the cold for long. As they came to a stop she felt her heart do a flip and held her breath because he stood away from the wall, … he was standing tall and in a suit reminding her of her 'old Ben' and not John who was always looking at the next hurdle to climb and wondering if he could do it.

Mandy's exclamation, "Wow! He is gorgeous Meg!" brought her back to where she was and took a breath and smiled in agreement.

Jack said quietly to his wife "Down girl he's already taken." and ignored the fact she had said the same about the twin when first seen on the beach. He noticed though there was a lot of love in her voice this time, but that was okay he knew she regarded this one to be an adopted son as he did … and yes he certainly had an air around him now. He also realised that they'd not seen a lot of him trying to walk, they'd given him his privacy, knowing he would show them when he felt confident or when their daughter gave the okay.

"Oh, that does not matter one bit, Jack." Mandy's voice was soft and sexy and made him looked across at her. She smiled at him, eyes bright with love and teasing, knowing he would understand. Yes he did … to some woman it would not matter and that could be problem and slowly his smile joined hers.

Still smiling and her heart doing another flip Meg got out the car, ignoring the byplay that was going on between the couple. Knowing it was built on their own deep love, and the hours they'd watched over John in the very beginning.

The gentle breeze made her realise the biting cold wind had dropped and she could hear music coming from the apartment. It sent shivers of love down her spine, it was their song. He opened his arms in greeting as she got to him and she noticed the glint in his eyes and the smile … it was his special one meant only for her. Then she found herself enveloped in his hug and felt a kiss on her forehead … she was home.

She eased back slightly, making sure he could gain any support he needed from her and looked up at him and said gently, knowing her face radiated all the love she felt for him. "Guess you missed me then."

She heard his soft, "Oh yes." as she took in his gentle strength and scent and they slowly danced together in the light to the rest of the song.

The warmth from the heaters placed near the door helped them forget the cold and snow, the dance was swaying to the music with very small awkward shuffling steps going nowhere rather than actual dancing steps. But that was fine by them because all that mattered was that they were together enveloped in their love.

oxoxo

Back in the people carrier, the three looked on and saw the couples love as they greeted each other.

Jack broke the silence with a sigh "Now, that's made it all worthwhile." then asked. "How is he Simon?"

Simon and Mandy knew what he meant – and silently agreed. Then Simon reported. "Hated every minute she was away but covered quite well. I slept on the sofa as the nightmares came back but I guess they will go now he's got company. Didn't go into himself as we thought, of course Paul and Val being there helped. The door is in and Val brought an early Christmas come birth present of the stairs and a promise to help design upstairs. The stairs should be finished tomorrow when they put some carpet on the lower treads, the space upstairs will be left as wooden flooring for now.

When we went to the Club one of the mornings he was very edgy, he didn't say anything but I wondered if he's been having flashbacks of some kind there. As you can see he's shuffling well, walking better using the crutches. He can't go any further outside as he zones out and does the same in the garden, I caught him so he didn't hurt himself but as it worried Paul and Val he has not tried it since. We'll have to bear that in mind for the future."

He gave a slight smile as he carried on. "Don't know if Meg told you that he tried driving Sandy and the trap in the barn." He got looks from both of them and said defensively. "It was only going to be a few feet in a straight line, and if we hadn't done it he would have tried on his own. Anyway Jackie put her foot down and we are taking riding very slowly as well, she is insisting he takes afternoon rests but he's had to forget those as the workmen are noisy.

Paul and I have had little chats with him and we've come to the conclusion he's not too happy about manipulating everyone's future muttered about becoming his brother … but we also know he wants the family here for Meg's sake. … So he's torn and I think you'll have to convince him it's really is okay." He smiled and finished. "Yep think that's the lot."

Mandy said quietly with a smile. "You can have my job if you like." catching his expression and added. "Okay I guess I could not pick him up if need be … but you are right about the nightmares easing now Meg's back. I won't say gone because I know he still had them.

Flashbacks … umm that could account for his quietness and edginess, he might not even remember he's had them. Just the sensation they leave and that would be disturbing in itself, could have put him off talking to me about it as well. Although I like what I see of Derek now … I can't help thinking that the old Derek had a trick or two for his brother at Christmas. After all it was meant to be his brother's last one and the completion of his own 'big plan'." She sighed seeing her husband nod in agreement and added, "I just hope we can cope with it when it comes to the surface. … Well let's leave them to it. … Love, can you get our cases please?"

Jack chuckled as he said. "They were in the other van getting the front door treatment! We'll store Meg's things till later. Are you going to eat with us Simon?" Knowing Jackie would automatically be included.

"Yes please then we can hear all the gossip, I know Jackie was hoping you'd suggest it. And it will get me out of kitchen duty!" Simon said as he opened the car door and got out, missing Jack and Mandy's chuckles and knowing looks.

oxoxo

The music stopped, they kissed and then John led her inside knowing Simon would bring her things later and their meal was cooking.

Meg was a mixture of bubbly love, excitement and intrigued because as they 'danced' he had whispered about a surprise being inside but nothing more. She noticed once they stopped dancing he'd got his crutches and as soon as they were inside he got into his chair and wondered if that was because he felt like she did. He did still get tangled in his mind, as he put it, and he'd just dance with her outside and that was a first.

She exchanged silent 'hello' smiles as Jackie quickly shut off the heaters and went to her apartment, telling her this was their time together, their chatter would come later. Feeling that rise of excitement over her love she looked over to where the new door would be and saw a staircase and a table in the alcove that the new staircase made and exclaimed. "John, you've managed all this!"

John smiled, her excitement was infectious and it carried in his voice as he stated the obvious. "No. Paul and Val with her workers did, they should finish it tomorrow so you'll see them then." He eased round to see her and took her hand as he continued. "To say they are delighted with the news is an understatement and the stairs is their joint Christmas come baby present to us, though they were made in kit form when the barn was originally converted."

He let go of her hand knowing she would want to look and continued. "They thought it would be nice to have them put in now rather than later when you would need your rest or our baby was around. It is safe to go up but don't be fooled it just one large room with a bathroom above ours, so you can run mad with ideas."

As she looked back at him he added with gentle seriousness. "Thought we could bung the kids up there as well as the guests, let them fight amongst themselves. … More important though how are things with you."

She laughed at the thought of kids and guests together and then said honestly. "I'm fine, happy to be home, no sickness at all, guess I'll have that joy later. Oh masses of photos and a video of the twins and the rest of the family. They send their love and congratulations." At his expression added truthfully. "Really! …they can see I'm happy and in love."

John raised his hands in mock surrender and she giggled and said. "Mandy and Jack have brought us a rocking chair for when baby is born. I got Sara and Casey one each so they will not squabble and they loved them so did the babies. So, did Mum and Dad but they can get their own, I've also brought you a present from Sunset Sisters I'll give it to you later. … Can I look upstairs have you been up at all?" looking up the stairway.

John gave a laugh at her bubbly excitement and wondered for a second if he said No, what would happen. But he would never say that unless of course it would hurt her so with a gentleness, which would calm her slightly said. "Yes you can look and no I can't because I've got to walk on flat surface properly first." And then he could not resist it asked. "How many planes did you use for your stuff this time? I know Simon asked for the truck but I thought he was joking."

Meg tried to sound hurt he should say such a thing but failed, she was just too bubbly. "Just the one and the rocking chair was Mandy's not mine it was flat-packed so it will give Jack something to do and curse about." As she started up the stairs she eyed him and said softly. "Love a cup of tea if you can manage it" she added as she went out of sight. "Go with the cakes I spotted on the table!"

She heard his chuckle as she stopped at the top and as she walked into the large room she felt a rush of air and fur gently brush her legs as Shep joined her. She knew he'd been watching them from his favourite place in front of the fire, and had no doubt been told to stay by John and had just been given the release command.

Looking around the large empty area she ignored Shep who'd stopped in front of her in his 'come play' attitude with tail wagging furiously. Getting no joy out of her he bounded for the far corner and went to sniff any new smells from his last visit. She walked across the room feeling the space realising how light it would be in the day time, like downstairs the window gave an all round view. Though dark she knew it would be across the hotel lawns and out across the valley. She stopped at the end and looked out she could see the stables and the start of the bridle path before it disappeared into the woods. She smiled and turned back and called Shep as she started to walk back towards the stairs, hoping her cup of tea would be ready. Just before she got to the stairs there was a rush and thumps as Shep bounded down the stairs in front of her, at the bottom he came to a halt did a quick turn and looked back at her, panting and his tail wagging as though asking for another go.

Meg laughed as she came down the stair and said. "No you can't."

At which, Shep ran over to his usual place and lay down watching her with his huge eyes, but she was not going to be persuaded by that look, so she turned to her attention to John and smiled at another pair of dark eyes looking at her … how did he do it she wondered.

She knew it was a huge silent hint so walked over to get the drinks as he could not manage them and they made their way to the lounge area as she commented. "It's huge and a beautiful view. But you'll never realise the space with the walls up and the furniture in. … Was there a lot of Jack's things up there?"

John smiled at the question, while tossing up whether to slide out onto the sofa or stay in the chair, he decided to stay his back needed that extra support and he knew Meg would understand. They could get close either way and dropped the big-eyed look but kept the gentleness in his voice loving the fact she was here. "It was only a few boxes, which are now in the Lodge, getting the best room service and comfy floor to sit on."

Meg smiled at that picture and made herself comfortable beside him as he carried on. "We'll decide about blocking up the joining door later. …The door into the garden works nicely we put a pad on the floor rather than a button to push thought that might be easier with a pram or whatever, we'll go out there later or tomorrow the stove is on tick over to keep the chill off. So give me all the news was Mandy needed at the airports?" He asked with a grin.

"No." Meg giggled and then had a quick sip of tea, she always loved his tea, she could never make up her mind whether he made it different from everyone else or it was just because he was next to her. Then took another just to confirm the feeling and leaving him hanging, his dark eyes followed her so she decided to carry on, or she would giggle in her tea and that would spoil it.

"Okay … Robert knew as soon as he saw me so I guessed Dad would. Robert sends his regards and a list of dates for a visit even offered to be Father Christmas he said it was his right as adopted uncle." John laughed and nodded. "As for Mum and Dad" she smiled as she carried on. "They were shocked but okay … … Mum saw how happy I was … so did Dad perhaps he half expected it … … I mean I did say I was in a relationship when I saw him in September."

She looked at him looking at her and said with real feeling. "You know you can be infuriating in your silence and those dark eyes of yours … … Okay so they said something about being a farmer so could tell immediately. … … They wanted to know a bit more about you but I reminded them I was there for Sara so they backed off. … By the time I left they were happy for me. … Of course they said I was welcome home at anytime and they assumed I would not be able to travel till after the baby was born."

She could not resist another drink of tea and as she took her time over it John had his and then she carried on. "They got to know Mandy and Jack; you could hardly stop Dad and Jack talking about horses and farming. Mum and Mandy I think ended up comparing notes about cooking. We settled Sara and twins in the apartment, which was great fun and I know Mum and Dad will be spending a lot of time with them. The new ideas for the Shock Wave are on time and Dad's thinking of putting a part time manager if they want more time with the babies. The twins are adorable, small and healthy although Sara adores them she was asking about the shop before I left so I think she'll be back there even if it just coffee calls while walking the twins."

Smiling she got a piece of cake, and 'eyed' him so he opened his mouth and as she popped it in and asked with a cheeky smile. "What about you I can see shuffling and walking better what about elsewhere?"

With his mouth full of cake he was pleased for the excuse to stay silent for a moment; he selected a piece and fed her as he replied. "Here is fine but not at the club or outside too many splinters." Reminding her of the first time he tried to walk. "Jackie is still in control of course, I like being on Sandy but still only allowed to walk him around the barn once, just as well really as I get stiff … the cold seems to affect me … must be getting old."

Meg smiled was going to make a comment but he carried on and his tone of voice changed. "Seriously it's good you're here ... I know it must have been hard for you to come back."

That last remark and his tone surprised her; it was John back rather than the confident Ben she saw earlier, so she answered quickly but honestly. "In some ways it was easier because I know where I want to be and I'm not going to lie I will miss the twins and family. … But I know we might be able to bring them here eventually, lots of other families live a part quite happily that's okay by me. … They will be sending us email photos and no doubt videos will be sent via Robert and I can do the same back if we are careful. Let's run through the photos then I would love to see the door work before we eat, I must not forget to tell them I've arrived back safely. What about Shep though won't he keep opening the door?" She got up to find a few photos she had put in her bag the rest were in her case, the last few days were anything to go by they would be the most photographed twins ever.

John looked across at Shep who was looking very innocent as he lay watching them. "No he's been told not to and so far he's only gone to the door on command. I guess we could nip out there while they unpack the truck … umm perhaps not, we might not be able to get back in." He added looking at Meg with a slight smile.

Meg poked her tongue out at him as she handed him her present first.

"Oh! Too near the mark then." John teased while he unwrapping it.

She chose to ignore that remark while unwrapping the other one and putting it on the table.

He held his paperweight in his hand looking at the red rose – which was frozen in the act of opening for the first time, so some of the petals were not fully open but all were new and unblemished with age - he looked back at her, his eyes were dark with emotion and the smile was for her alone.

"I knew you would understand." She said gently, he nodded and placed it beside with the one with the white rose as she carried on. "Technically Sara gave me that one."

John gave a very gentle laugh and took the photos she handed him; she snuggled up close to him as he looked at them. She pointed out Susan and Mark so he would know who was who. There was the full range of all the family with them as well as them by themselves but it was the one with Sara and Casey with the twins that he stopped at and found his voice though it cracked as he spoke. "Gosh he looks so proud, … they both do. They are so beautiful. … He's so lucky."

"Sorry this must be so difficult for you." She said gently.

"Yes and no … at least I can see how happy he … they are. We will bring them home love I promise."

"There's no hurry, honest." She said leaning her head gently on his shoulder and as he went through the photos again she gave him a potted history of what went on just before or after they were taken.

This was interrupted by the timer sounding off telling them that the meal was cooked so they got the meal ready and over it she filled him in on everything that had happened and all the latest gossip. Then after clearing the things away and with a lot of huffing because Meg enforced Jackie's written orders that he not only stayed in the chair but was wrapped up in the blankets they went out into the garden via the new door.

With Shep rounding them up till he decided he needed a longer walk and went out via the stables they walked round the garden looking at the new lights and night-lights that showed up the plants. The stove gave off just enough heat to take the chill off and as she walked round Meg felt that being home feeling settle, she knew this was where she wanted to be, her friends and family were safe and happy.