Chapter 48

Meg ran up the stairs of their apartment smiling knowing they were right, she needed to be doing something. Preferably something by a window that looked out over the stables and that meant one place and one thing, especially as Robert needed this mail. And if she was busy time would fly by and then she would be able to mail Sara the picture and toned down email.

She walked to the end room enjoying the effect the sunlight had on the unusual glass walls and the panoramic view they gave of the paddock, stables and over the hedge into the hotel garden and part of the mountains and valley. She got to her work area and twisted the computer round just a bit - yep! the view was just perfect … so it should be, she'd designed it that way and sat down on the window seat.

As she put the coding disk in the computer she felt her stomach churn slightly and wondered if it was butterflies or her son. She liked that thought of 'son' it sounded so nice knowing who was with her, and gave a slight chuckle as she remembered John's words that morning. But the thought flew out of her mind as she found the relevant pictures on file and her slight chuckle grew as she thought of Robert, wishing he could come by email as the plane would be way too slow for his liking. And the thought of him coming through the screen delighted her … yes; she was looking forward to seeing him again.

With a small shake of her head, she shook the chuckle and thought away and got a fresh email and wrote the address. Attaching the photos, she smiled and decided to tease him with the subject heading "Pictures tell it all M" She then settled down to type her quick flowing thoughts.

Hi Robert

Looked everywhere for it under the bed … Nope… in the cupboards … Nope not hiding there either.

SO what have you done with March … Well all but a few days!! But who is counting, as they will go in a flash as the rest have.

Whatever you did with it … it's been a wonderful month, along with the others before it and no doubt the rest to come.

As you can see from the photos I'm now showing a small bump, thought we would have a change of scenery and show you we've made it to the sunken garden. And Yes spring has come though snow is still on tops of the mountains and will stay on the higher ones till late April.

And YES yes yes … he managed to walk with a stick to the garden, though you would have laughed at the fuss he made about the slope. Though to be fair, it must be a lot for him … and we take it for granted … of course memories of the fall might have had something to do with it as well. But he does not like slopes or uneven ground; he has to think too much! (So cruel I know but he's the one who said it, with a smile I might add.)

We made it though and next time it will be better walking wise though the feeling of that visit will not be matched. I'll set up a picture of what happened; beautiful sunny day, cold but not too cold and Simon had lit the brazier there to keep the chill off the air so we could stay for a while.

We took the short route though the apartment and along the path to the slope. There I walked just a little in front so as not to crowd him, though I would have held his hand if touch was needed, but he wanted total independence. Simon teased about a soft landing if John fell and Jackie said I was needed in front to break up the downward view. Those two can be so cheeky sometimes but it broke up the tension – John got his revenge later, as they knew he would. They were either side of him not touching or crowding but close enough in case he needed them … so with slow steps we made it down to the garden.

Unknown to us Mandy and Jack watched from a distance they just happened to be passing. Yeah John did not believe that either, especially as they had tea and cakes with them.

After a lovely rest, (chat and food) John decided he needed crutches for the walk back so sent Simon to collect them, I hasten to add there was a twinkle in John's eyes as he told Simon, but he did find it easier. Then he tried walking down part of the slope with them to make sure he could do it. So I guess it will be a toss up which he will do it with next time, he was tired afterwards, perhaps the crutches will make it easier, don't know.

As for work, he is walking round his office but sits down to take calls - just in case you are wondering, like here they go through an answering machine so he can deal with them at his leisure, visitors go through Jim (if you see what I mean).

He rides in the trap to get there Jack drives him and walks to the police station, it means Simon does not have to walk back to the stables as Sandy and the trap stay at the stables there. Keeps Jack fit but don't tell him I said it, before he only had to walk across the driveway, of course it means Simon has to walk up if Jack can't bring John home. It's worked so far.

He has tried his hand at driving the trap for a short distance on the bridleway, unfortunately he will not let me accompany him when he tries - too much of a distraction – umm take that as a compliment - guess he would worry about the baby as well. So it looks as though we will be keeping our driver for a while, which is nice.

He is not too keen on walking in the street too many things happening to take his concentration away so I think he will ride with an escort and use the chair if necessary.

More on that later as I know you are dying to meet the little fella.

Yeah I know you have looked at the pictures so what can I say?

The baby is a boy. As you can see he has everything … just hope he will not be quite such a show off when he is born or as he grows up. Seeing him like that reminded us of the 'Casey' incident with Mark, of course that led to a question from John. Mandy with a glint in her eyes but answered it very straight faced explaining that nothing bad goes in so nothing bad comes out till his father starts feeding him once he's born.

You should have seen John's face at that one but I could not say anything (giggling way too much) as I felt a warm sensation in me which must have been our baby adjusting himself around my giggles (poor lad). I know … he will get his own back when he starts digging his elbows or knees into my kidneys or stretches, as he gets bigger.

Needless to say John is a very proud father-to-be and I have had the wonderful sensation of waking up to find him watching over me … we are sort of changing roles as I used to watch him sleep after his therapy when I was not working. … It's a wonderful feeling, so different from the one in the mornings … we do it because we want too not because we have to or just woken up a bit early.

There is an itch in my mind so I will admit it to you, as I'm sure you will understand and know it is a reasonable thought and once it's out it will be gone and forgotten. (that was long winded but I'm sure you will understand so onward!)

In a small way it would have been easier if our son was a girl … nothing against boys or our son to be … it would make naming so much easier, though having typed that I realise the name we wanted for a girl has already been taken (by Derek) so perhaps it would not have been easier. Anyway we both would like to call our son John, family connection all round as well as liking the name. But know we can't … one John is enough just as one Mark in the family is enough (that would have been another choice). If we chose John or even Jonathon his name would get shortened to JJ or John Jr and we would not want that. I also feel using it as a second name would be tempting fate, as I'm sure information will get back to Derek in one form or another, could set off thoughts though that might be called paranoia on my/our part.

But one thing I am sure of and have quietly decided to do once our son is born, that is to stop writing to our friends in Sunset Beach. To do so before would worry them and start questions, not only from them but from John as well. Though I expect he must realise I have to do it whether or not our family moves here. I will be unable to send photos of our son back home or to friends, from the videos and photos you've been sending us I know he will have those eyes. I can see them in Benjy, Sammy and Abby and of course black hair … unless he has a throw back from Dad's side of the family as in Sara … which could make things interesting. Dark haired parents brown haired child can't help but smile at that one.

Obviously if my family stay in SB I will be expected to send photos … I can only blame web failure, postal failure or give them sleeping baby photos along with a 'oops sorry I forgot to attach' when I write a couple of times. I might have to claim I'm too busy to write could blame it on baby and John, they know he's ill so could have a relapse, but that sounds a bit unfair on John. So perhaps I'll have to let them go by default … just not reply.

Of course if Mum comes here we can sort out a story for her to take back and she'll have the hassle of explaining my excuse to friends and family as I become silent. (Cruel aren't I.) Then again they might be here with us and my silence can be just silence and hope the friends will forgive me.

Thanks again for the last video of the spring gathering on the beach, as well as 'his family' coupled with clips of Tim with Abby, I don't know how you manage to do it without causing suspicion, glad that you do. You know it gives John 'that' extra peace he still needs … he still and always will feel bad about Mark and the others, but you were right the nightmares have turned into bad dreams and less frequent though he is still has quiet times but they are shorter and not so dark either. Shep is still very good at warning us about those moods.

If you have not guessed we are very very happy.

Meg stopped typing as the clopping of horses' hooves and familiar voices calling broke through her thoughts. She looked away from the screen and waved smiling as the riders walked from the stables to start their ride, saw Shep run ahead then stop and look back at the group as if to check all was well or urging them to get on with it.

She wasn't sure which and gave a gentle laugh remembering again that morning and John's tone and words, "surrounded by hawks just waiting to pounce on the defenceless prey." which was true. Though they both knew 'defenceless prey' was a bit of an exaggeration, but he was in the centre of the group. The hawks were certainly not quiet as they chatted making sure everything was okay - Simon in the lead, Jackie and Jack either side of John with Stephen at the rear, who promised to take a video of it if he could.

She watched the other riders get their group ready and lead off; all were experienced riders though a couple of the horses were being shown what to do on a group ride for the first time. It would be the easy route and they would as Simon had reminded her with a grin 'go faster than a walk' though they would not be jumping or galloping the others would take another route to do that if they wanted to.

As they started to walk off she heard footsteps coming across the room from the stairs and looked round. 'Yep there was the missing hawk with two cups of tea and a reassuring smile.'

Mandy looked at Meg as she put the cups on the table and said gently. "Well they will be gone for a while. … All right?"

Meg smiled "Yes thank you. Doing Robert's mail as ordered but it does feel strange watching him go, it's usually me going out, and it's special."

Mandy laughed, knowing what she meant and reassured her. "He wants it to be an ordinary thing no fuss, but it's a bit like you like handing your child to kindergarten for the first time, having to walk away till you pick him up several hours later. You know he will be safe and lots of other mums do it, but he is yours and out of sight, even if you've had babysitters in the past. It feels different and a big step forward."

Meg said gently. "He's over thirty, been to work and on a horse before." Wondering which one of them needed the reassurance.

Mandy gave a nod and a smile as if picking up on her thoughts and with a gentle sigh carried on, "Well it's a big step for him and we have to watch him go, can't be beside him or do it for him and I feel a twinge even if he does have his hawks watching over him."

Meg laughed remembering her earlier thoughts.

Mandy gave chuckle as she admitted. "I rather like his nickname for us." She paused then looking at Meg added gently which had a bit of a warning edge even if her eyes were bright and teasing. "Get used to it as we will be around you as you get bigger and when your son is born."

Meg snorted and reached for her cup of tea, they both knew each other so well so teased back knowing John's occasional comments on the hawks. "At least I know you are caring hawks not wanting to eat us." Watching the group she took a sip of her tea.

Mandy said softly as she took her cup of tea. "Always preferred my meat cooked actually. I'll sit quiet and let you write, after all the view is soo different from here."

Meg smiled at her words because she could almost hear the hawk's feathers settling in place for the wait, and knew Mandy would happily accept her silence or chat later. For now though they silently watched the groups go out of sight.

Then Meg went back to write her mail to Robert.

I have Mandy beside me enjoying the view and a sight which I know will make you want to come in a flash … sorry you could not come sooner … though I can give you a good excuse … not that you need one.

Sara and Mum have managed to persuade the Doctors to release copies of the relevant medical history regarding twins and my birth etc. They were not too keen at first because of no forwarding address and confidentiality but Mum can be very persuasive. She contacted Tyus and he gave his backing that it would be all right not to have a forwarding Doctor address, just a Doctor's signature with mine as proof of arrival at destination. She also assured them they would be handed over not posted and gave you as named courier. So they will need Doctor's signature, mine and yours with a note to prove it's been done. Mandy or her brother will give it, which ever one you think is best. I suppose someone could trace it back to us eventually if they really wanted to but they'd have to get past the doctors there first so I don't think they will.

So there you are the perfect excuse for you to come and walk or ride with John, even a trip to the waterfall if you like.

Yes riding as in on a horse not in a horse and trap. He's just gone out on his first ride without a walking leader or riding leader and not his usual therapy group, though he will do those as well occasionally. Two small groups one lot breaking in a couple of new horses so they know what to do on a ride. The one … well you've guessed it the gang and him. They are all going on the safe paths along the edge of the valley. They also have the latest in instant radio contact in case anything happens … we all carry them when out with John … they are linked through to the hospital and Jack via the station and Mandy. … Oh the joys of being left behind … roll on Summer/Autumn/early winter … or whenever I can go with him.

Hence Mandy being here to hold my hand. At the moment I can either feel butterflies in my tummy or our son is being a fidget. Mind you, on the quiet I think Mandy feels the same as me … given half the chance would be out there as well.

She stopped and looked out the window and was lost in thought … … after a while she went back to her machine and started again.

Mind went for a while … Hey not comments! … Strange though, how seeing him go makes you look at things in a different light.

Mandy likened it to a child's first day at kindergarten … not that he will be doing it every day … but it got me thinking and I just realised that since September I have been watching him come alive … begin again … I don't know what you call it - almost like a bud of a flower or a new branch coming out, there have been so many little things recently that will grow and I don't mean plants or baby.

In Sunset he was established and though I worked with him everything was in it's place, friends, fortune, The Deep, his house, Liberty and of course Java Web. Here he is growing into new ventures with his knowledge and money. I see the way he nudges ideas not only his own but others as well; of the ones close to us, the rides along the bridleway are taking off now the snow has gone, the usual ones in the mountains will start as soon as they are safe.

You know that idea about the hay cart ride, our link with the 'sister' hotel across the valley … well they are being sorted out as well as their idea of making the waterfall a halfway point so horses don't have to go the whole way.

Even his therapy rides have caught on leading to the renovation of two cottages with special amenities for holiday lets, the cars will have special passes for the bridleway so they can get to the cottages any other trips would be by horse and carriage.

From that Stephen has the idea to link with the local school - help kids start, a kind of apprenticeship especially if they aren't good with other qualifications … sort of hands on, mind you other kid could use it as a bonus, ride and learn about horses. Then yesterday a farmer (who has kids) offered the use of his farm as a base for other crafts that are going out of favour but could be used locally. Like hedging and stonewalls etc.

I thought I'd see if I can get experts in to run courses by using your formula … including computer based sessions … any ideas … just remember money will be short as it will have to pay it's way and the farmer needs extra income.

As you know the hardware shop and stable complex is coming along we found a building that had a ramp in it and used it when the trap needed repairing … the man flew in to do it and found a pile of other jobs as word got around he was coming. (nope not say who spread the word either) But it made him realise the opportunity and he wants to do it again ... sort of monthly or bimonthly surgeries … Paul's firm will be the name base and link. Your idea with John's that the hardware store could become a web collection post is working well, Paul wants us to add it to his group but we are not sure about it. We are of course still keeping the store as a store and looking at the other buildings, as we get to them (jungle permitting) no doubt new ideas will come as they emerge.

I don't think it will matter if John can't get around as we wished … people and ideas come to him … yes we all know he has his faults and sometimes they make us want to scream … but there again who hasn't.

As I said I never really thought about those gentle nudges or the ones he gave me when I worked with him in SB … they gave me the strength to stand up and move on and now face my biggest challenge … our son, even then I will have the freedom to work from home or in town as I want … which I do as they seem to like me here.

Goodness. That lot came from just seeing him ride away … just wait till he gets back!

Okay on to gossip etc.

As for Paul and Val I would not be at all surprised if they don't elope before or on the big day … you should see them both … nervous as kittens taking their first steps. If they do I hope Val takes her dress because it is really beautiful, not over the top either and her bridesmaids look good even the pageboy is cute.

So I have had calming chats with Val and John has had long ones with Paul … we know they love each other that's not the problem, other family might be, which should not be the case as both of them have been good to them all.

But I really really don't know what possessed him to choose Matt as best man … okay yes I do … they are cousins and he could not have John.

Did you know Matt and John have been in a huddle over the speech? … I just wondered, as you know Matt. … Oh to be a fly on the wall of the reception … needless to say we have taken the day off and got popcorn ready. Just hope the web works well on the day. (Computer off the top of the waterfall if it does not!)

Jackie and Simon with Sandy and the beautifully made up coach will do the honours for us. We are used to seeing a horse and coach taking brides etc here but down in the next town it will be unusually so I hope someone will tape it. (Might bribe one of the staff at the hotel to) We are still working out whether they can go via the valley route or will have to go via the main road using trucks. Not only because of time but the main road is used by really big lorries who might not be so considerate as the locals are.

Oh yes, we now have new signs on the edge of town and at the junction of the main road, which warns people that horses and horse and coaches, traps etc have right of way, the one on the edge of town also says no loud radios as well. Bit like the town that give ways to white squirrels (love that idea) can't remember where it is though. Simon and Jackie have orders to sneak in and give us an account if they can … I do know (if they don't eat it that is) we will get some cake.

Apart from the speech, Matt and John have arranged the honeymoon for them I hope Paul likes the surprise it's Venice and John has made sure there is a supply of film so we will have some record of it. Yes there is a trip in a gondola seeing that in the real place will bring memories of our own hopes, also our trip in SB … they are good ones though.

No doubt we will be in touch just afterwards I know you and Sue will be watching as well.

The photo I sent to Sara is the same without John in it so you can chat about it if you wish, needless to say I am like a cat on hot bricks waiting for news of the interview, which will not be till after the wedding. As you know neither Matt or Paul will take part in the interviews, so they have two chiefs from other branches of the main group who know what is needed, the honeymoon is the excuse for them doing it, hence the delay.

Hopefully when Casey finds out the truth he will know he got the job on merit and not because of me. If they think Casey is not ideal there is the job of assistant so he might take that, if not then it will be back to the drawing board. If only the days would carry on going like lightening.

I need a quick break then I will be back as the group will be returning soon. Yep I'm upstairs over looking the stables and part of the route, I love this room and as I know you will want to know he has returned safely I will be back.

Okay scrub that last sentence, time must be flashing by as Shep has just bounced round the corner into view. Where does he get the energy from, unless of course he just sat and waited for them to return! Guess the first group went off onto the other route as it is just our group.

They look happy so everything must be all right.

Yep there's the wave from Simon, guess what a fast trot slowing into a walk.

Hate to say this but John really looks good on a horse even with hat and glasses on. … Before your mind goes to the gutter yes he is wear clothes!!!!!!!!

With a big sigh … Jackie on Snow White looks good and yes I'm a little bit jealous only because I wish it was me … it's good she's happy after all she is my sister by adoption ... without her there would be no him.

So must go.

Love and thanks … don't break the sound barrier … Mandy has your room ready. Give Sue our love see you both.

Meg.

She pressed the keys almost without thinking and was across the room in almost a flash, her back better for moving and Mandy was not far behind her.

By the time Meg had got down the stairs she was breathing fast and calmed herself.

Mandy's words "Meg take your time, he needs to know this does not worry you." sunk in as they walked towards the front of the apartment.

As Meg punched the button to open the door they caught each other's expressions and laughed. Collectively they took a deep breath then walked out of the apartment and over to the stable block where they could hear the chatter and laughter from the group, which told them everything, had gone all right.

oxoxo

Needles to say during the rest of the day Meg found herself checking her mail at intervals for a reply from Robert or Sara, who she had mailed later.

Sara's email came quickly and was short but filled with glee at the prospect of a nephew and a list of names not to have which made her and John laugh.

Checking again in the early evening she chuckled as she saw the mail title "Wow! … Sound barrier will be intact!"

And opened it and read.

Hi Meg

Thanks for mail.

What can I say that would cover it?

We are both really really pleased for you … both of you or should that now be three of you perhaps not way too complicated. Needless to say you have ready and waiting adopted Uncle and Aunt to spoil him something rotten! … Okay we will include the both of you as well.

I understand your feelings and agree, though I know John would understand as well if you ever wanted to tell him … will chat soon.

Found out I don't fit in the floppy disc slot … tried and failed, … Zip drive slot … failed again … Sue suggested diet!!!!

So failing everything else will be over for lunch tomorrow!!! … See can move fast when needed. Would have been tonight but needed for a deal this afternoon and family tonight … can't have two sulky teenagers on our hands now can we!

Rang Joan and everything is arranged for morning collection of papers Doctor's free time does coincide with plane landing and take off times at SB and she promised extra treats for me!! (Sue mentioned that word diet again!!!) (Tell Mandy bread and water diet for her not for me!!) Yep could not keep her away even if I tried.

Pictures had her drooling and she threatened me so I will bring her!! (Hen pecked that's what I am and loving every second of it.) (Guess who uses this machine and is nearby.)

Unfortunately we can only stay one night and will have to fly back by late next evening.

Pilot asks for a bed as well. Tempting to be wicked and say nothing else but then he might make me fly back on the wing and I don't like drafts! So he would appreciate food and a splash in the pool. The staff are soo demanding these days, and yes I have to serve the coffee on the way over!

Will deal with our own transport so don't worry Jack about it.

Give love to John see you soon.

Robert

She bubbled with happiness as she printed a copy for John to read when he finished his chat with Tony downstairs and pressed reply.

Hi Robert.

Umm … glad the computer survived … did wonder what you would look like behind the screen never thought of the drive slots though … cartoon figures come to mind.

Look forward to seeing you and Sue never fear the pilot will have the best.

Meg.

As she watched the words change and the mail disappear she collected her copies together then closed it down and went downstairs.