Chapter 54
Wrapping his arms round Meg in spite of her baby bump and managing to keep on his feet from her rush into his hug Robert saw John getting up to greet them. He hadn't expected a big happy cheer when he arrived and as he'd just met Mandy who also didn't know what had been happening here guessed whatever it was, it was bad by the solemn air in the apartment.
Standing there he could feel the people he had brought with him starting to come in around them so said quickly and gently matching John's sad half smile. "I tracked down Tyus and brought his wife as well as an official from Sunset Beach who will not be missed but will give weight to our findings. Have things been happening while I've been travelling?"
John like the others nodded yes as they watched the unfolding tableau, all wondering why Robert would take a risk of bringing an official with him.
oxoxo
Avoiding the others Tyus walked straight over to John, his smile growing as his mind finally shouted that everything he had been told was the true and he was not going to wake up from this dream as bad as some of it was. He also took in the fact his friend was well and the differences from the man he knew and from deep sadness in his eyes and expression knew this twin was hurting.
He put his hand on his friend's shoulder knowing his smile was showing everything he felt and quickly wondered what the hell do you say to the friend who had been so mistreated, and brought him into a hug of lost friendship and then said with gentle words as doctor mode took over from friend mode. "I'm sorry for your suffering and loss. You look as though you need to sit down and I need to check you over to prove you are Ben not Derek."
Feeling too emotional for words now he had seen and felt Tyus, John silently broke the hug and led Tyus over to the sofas. While following Tyus glanced back to the official from Sunset Beach and asked. "Do you need to film this or will my statement be enough."
The man was in his late forties said in a voice that showed he was not overawed by the strange situation he found himself. "My witnessing will be enough I think there's too much stress around already for a camera show. My full name is Anthony James, a senior legal clerk to the courts and I go by the name of Tony." he smiled as he added "And I was going to have a quiet day off before Robert here knocked on my door."
John gave a slight smile and nodded then let Tyus tell him what he needed to do.
Jack having finished his call, called across the room. "John. It will take a while to check and he thinks it's advisable to leave FBI out for the moment but I can go in and swoop using 'witness protection' as a cover. I'll take my official identification with me to show Jude." then explained to the others. "Robert. Tim and Derek were going to disappear with the kids only Derek never made it because Maria had Tess kill him, we having Tess's phone call checked now."
"Ouch" Robert exclaimed gently while giving a nod as things added up and knew he had to explain so broke from his hug with Meg but kept an arm lightly round her shoulder as he spoke. "I received a package from Derek this morning there was a covering letter asking me to send it to Meg for her to keep safe and only to be opened by me if it could not be passed on and he died with in the next few days. It was posted yesterday and arrived in Seattle this morning they knew I was not going to be back for a few days so they put it on the first plane back and I got it just before I left to find Tyus. As soon as I saw the writing I thought it might be wise to have someone who could witness its route so I tested my skills of persuasion on Tony and then perfected them on Tyus and his wife."
Before anyone could comment Tyus said casually "Well, if anyone is interested." They all looked at him so he carried on. "His eyes are clear so this is Ben Evans; the streaks of white in his hair I would assume were caused by trauma from his ordeal." He smiled and looked at Meg and added. "I'm glad you two found each other." then looking over to Jack and the others added. "I assume you have medical records about his eyes when he was found."
Bob answered "Yes I was the doctor who treated him and we noted they were clear though we did not know about a twin or anything then. It was just a case of one thing less to worry about. I can get the originals sent over to the airport if it will help in the round up."
Tyus said. "Thanks but I don't think they will be needed ..."
But stopped as Jack jumped in. "Robert, you need to ring Tim's lawyer and make sure Tim stays in jail with no visitors or gifts."
"Okaay." Robert said slowly weighing things up and could not help a slight smile at the irony of the whole thing as he carried on. "You realise lawyers usually get people out of jail."
John smiled but said sadly. "Getting out would kill him … and play into their hands."
Robert looked at John questioningly as he walked over the sofas and sat so they could talk easily, Tyus moved so he could keep an eye on John without crowding him. As everyone settled themselves on the sofas Jackie quickly and quietly made more drinks knowing it would help ease the tension and stop John feeling everyone was watching him more closely than they were. Meg sat beside him and took his hand hoping it would help him and got a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement.
John decided to concentrate on Robert rather than the others but knew they would chip in as necessary and was thankful for Meg's hand to ground him as he explained. "Tim's death would bring the case to a close. They might be able to make it look natural but suicide would be better and they would not even need a note to prove it as the evidence condemns him."
Robert nodded with a slight frown, which cleared as John brought him up to date. "You know about his smudged finger prints on the gun well now they have positive id that he bought the gun with his signature in the book. Not only that his car can be placed in the town on the day the gun was bought and I have no doubt the town cameras will show him in the area of the shop. Although Hank and others say he can not shot straight, the police could say he meant to frighten Ben but killed instead then ran off with the money. And the story about waiting in the motel for Ben is a total lie brought about by the fact he couldn't run with Abby. I've no doubt Maria could come up with a story about that cash of being in the house and she could say the shares were going to be given to Tess for safe keeping for Abby's future, after all Tess is the birth mother and that always carries more weight."
Robert nodded adding gently "And Tim admits to being at Ocean Drive that afternoon. Okay … give me a minute … can we even hint at new evidence?"
John shook his head, Meg said gently pleading. "John, he's on suicide watch." John looked at her and shook his head again. Meg's mind spun she knew just how low Tim could get and he could not get drunk in jail.
Robert dialled the number and waited then said "Hi I need the boss is he around... … No now. … … okay …." He looked around nodded to Jackie as she brought him a drink and then spoke back into the phone "Glad I caught you, are you alone. …. Good Tim Trueman must not be let out of jail or have visitors etc … … … That bad …. … …. Umm then you will have to fight Hank about this and trust me." He gave a gentle laugh as he listened then carried on. "No, no danger money. …. …. I guess the funeral will be interesting and he must go to that as well. …. … Give me a moment."
He put his hand over the phone and spoke to the others in the room. "Tim's in a really bad way, not eaten anything and needs something to hold onto. Meg, are you going to the funeral?"
Meg smiled suddenly remembering a way to help Tim. "Tell Tim I believe in him and to remember our game of hide and seek with Mary, and I'll see him before the funeral perhaps that will give him some strength and hope."
The others as well as Jack looked questioningly at her, she sighed and explained. "We were kids Mary really hit on Tim and she decided to have a game of hide seek at her birthday party, she knew Tim was lousy at the game so she was to kiss the first boy loser, which meant the girls were safe. We found the same hiding place so I sheltered him and guided him back to base without getting caught; we came in separately to make it look right. She was miffed swore that Tim cheated but we stood our ground and the others agreed he did not cheat, so she had to kiss Billy who she hated and had a crush on her. Sort of justice."
Jack smiling nodded his okay and Robert went back to his call and trying hard not to laugh as he explained what Meg had told them, and then confirmed it was to be between the pair of them no one else. Also that Tim needed new clothes for the funeral not ones from home if need be he would settle later and that Meg would see them both in the morning at the police station.
Jack interrupted briefly "No visitors or gifts of any kind."
Robert relayed the point and that he or a friend would be with Meg, then rang off and commented. "He's a good lawyer and curiosity will keep him on his toes. So who goes first Meg's package or how you know Maria had Tess killed Derek. … Sorry John this must be awful for you."
Finding it difficult to actually talk about his experiences, even though he trusted Robert and the others to understand they were the truth not idle fancy John nodded hesitated for a moment then said softly. "As I held my brother as he died … there was something I could not put my finger on, till this morning. … Bob was wheeling me into the sunken garden and we brushed against a bush and I caught the scent from the flowers. It triggered the memory of a scent being in the room at Ocean Drive … the scent was strong enough to be on a person still in the room rather than someone who had gone out a few moments ago. I could not see his assailant and I don't know if I could have looked around - I was concentrating on my brother nothing else … in the triggered memory I knew the scent belonged to Tess and I remembered her moaning about the fact she had to send away for it because no one in Sunset stocked it.
Thinking it over I realised no one would have any reason to check where Tess actually was or the cell phone records - the two woman gave each other an alibi, with Ricardo being the innocent anchor, his reputation being strong enough to stop any thought of looking out of curiosity."
John paused for a moment and Robert nodded he understood so John carried on. "I knew the cell numbers and gave them to Jack who got the records and we found out that Tess was on the cell phone one or two minutes before I collapsed … his murder and stayed on till afterwards. Obviously telling Maria she should come over as Samantha would be by herself and giving her the plausible excuse of being locked out and unable to contact Tim for Ricardo to hear, the rest is coincidence, which happens to fall into their plans. If Tim had a good alibi everyone would assume frame up knowing his history and the real trail would be hard to pick up. So, Jack is finding out whether she really rang from home or Ocean Drive, phones are automatically trace and on different cell masts.
Derek was using my escape plan, thinking Tim and Abby were in danger he sent them on a head thereby pointing the finger at Maria as well as Tess as being the threat. Also there is Antonio leaving town suddenly to go into closed retreat that may mean Derek said something to him that morning and Antonio needed advice away from Sunset Beach.
Now we find out that he sent you a package for Meg … when I was in the warehouse Derek said he loved Meg I don't think it was just to spite me I think he genuinely feels something for her … and possibly because of my love for her, he would trust her with evidence of some kind if not then to do the right thing and not just ignore it. Of course he knew he was taking a risk she might open it sooner but he most probable thought she would weigh the pros and cons and hope she would let him live with the children. I know he has changed in many ways but one thing I think would stay constant and that is his need to have something on people around him – sort of safety blanket."
Robert took the parcel from Tony as John was finishing his explanation and gave a nod while still thinking over the facts then asked. "Who thought about cell phone masts?"
Jack smiled and answered. "John did, and I think we need to get this over and done with so these two can rest before we fly back to Sunset Beach tonight. There will be a lot of ground to cover in the morning if we are to take them at the funeral." Robert looked up sharply and Jack continued with a slight smile. "John's idea as well, the children will be out the way having said goodbye first and the women will be free of weapons and putting on an act of tears and everyone will know what is going on not gossip, just hard facts. Meg will be protected if she goes and can explain to Casey about the change in the job situation and they can make up their minds whether to stay or follow her back home when things are sorted."
Robert gave a gentle nod of agreement and said with a sigh almost to himself. "Talk about a flying yoyo." which made them smile in spite of the tension, he turned his attention to Meg before giving her the package. "I think the pages of the letter etc should be put in clear bags for fingerprints etc. which Jack can do before we go."
"Everyone seems to be doing my job today." Jack said with a sigh as he saw Tony take some clear plastic evidence bags out of a briefcase.
Tony smiled as he explained. "I had some spare things in my briefcase from the last court case. I must admit this is more exciting than the day I had planned, though I'm sorry it had to be because of your brother John."
John nod as Tyus commented with a slight smile "I know the feeling my wife and I were having a lazy morning, first in a long time." His smile deepened as he carried on. "Mind you this is more interesting than a week decorating which was planned. But we can talk later you both need to get this done."
oxoxo
Everyone else sat quietly giving the couple space if not complete privacy, which was not possible if they were to prove these were not forgeries.
Robert handed Meg the package and with trembling fingers she opened it, Tony took the envelope and put it in a spare bag and wrote on the label. Meg put the other thick envelope on table and carefully opened the sheet of writing paper slipping it into a bag then smoothing it out so she could read it.
She saw it was dated yesterday and started to read it then got close to John and said gently "You need to read this as well." John put his hand on hers and they both started to read it.
Dear Meg
A plea, don't tear up this letter or the other one when you read my words.
I apologies for the tone of the other letter it's not what I feel now or have done for quite a while.
If I could have done it any other way I would have. Now there is an admission but you know the strange thing is I think even now my brother would forgive me, even stranger it's his expertise I'm using to protect me and my children as well as Tim and Abby as we run for safety.
Yesterday for the first time in my life I wanted my brother by my side, so we might enjoy my happiness together - but not in the selfish way it sounds I wanted it for both of us.
In Samantha I can see my father's gentle stubbornness and strength and like all my children she has my mother's deep loving eyes, even her gentle nature is beginning to show as she grows. Yesterday I saw and heard something else, my mother's smile and her special laugh – the one she kept when things went really right, she loved us so deeply and her love for our father was really something special - I know that now. I saw and heard all that as Samantha toddled awkwardly towards me on the beach. It was there in the delight of her achievement she knew she had done it … those first strong steps.
It was a wondrous moment when everything seemed so complete and I wanted to share it with my brother have him beside me - for a split second I could almost believe he was here with me if only I could have grabbed that second or turned back time.
To think I tried to keep it all for myself and made him walk away from it. And Now.
What can I say time is short and I need your support because I'm running from my soulmate the person I love to distraction and a thing I thought I would never have to do, but my brother warned me and I should have listened.
Perhaps it is paranoia and you will just hear of our disappearance and then read this – my - our future is in your hands if that is the case.
I'm the one who is usually in control of life but I fear she will kill me for her freedom so I am becoming my brother and running. I feel so scared for my children - did he feel this as I made him run I wonder.
My reasons – This morning purely by accident I saw Maria in an embrace in the grotto, her words and laugh were gentle and loving, about time spent together a few days ago so it was not two casual friends greeting each other. They have slept together and talked of a future.
Perhaps in our case soulmates is a one way thing. I knew how Ben felt when he saw you and Casey - but to actually feel it – is so shattering. In his case though he always thought you would eventually find that truer deeper love and he was willing to wait till the end of time in necessary.
You have found it with another.
Maria is not like you, she knows how deep my love is, that I would never betray her or our children - we have done so much to get where we are.
I recognised the man as Ross English, he has rooms at The Belmount, saw them together last week thought little of it after all we meet people as part of our lives. In her eyes no doubt he is young and would make a good father to my children who are young and unquestioning.
I see only a man out for a rich lovely woman - thought I was safe in our love now I know better.
Yes I'm Derek - Ben is dead. Back then I really had no choice, living separate lives still made me Derek and him Ben – I was not the complete person I should have been – knowing what I do now I wish we could be together and have a future, if I can I will say a proper goodbye to him and ask his forgiveness.
I kidnapped him in September 1999 when he went to Seattle and took his memories and through those I gained his lifestyle became the person I should have been at birth Derek Benjamin John Evans one complete person and returned to my soulmate and son.
But now I must become my brother and run from her and Tess. I'm taking Tim with me using my brother's expertise to hide and start a new life for us all. He knew when you ran you left no ties behind you - strangely enough I care for Tim and Abby and I fear they are in danger from Tess, she has that hard edge around her that used to be there when we did 'a job' or she was watching my brother for me.
Perhaps they are both plotting and Ross will do it, I don't know, perhaps deep down I always knew they would do this and accepted it, better than jail but my children deserve more. I would go now but I have things to sort out, anyway Tim can not come till this afternoon then there is Benjy to collect he will not be back in school till this afternoon – trust them to have a morning trip today.
So I will send Tim on ahead and meet him later, how much I tell – not sure yet - after all I did try to kill him once, perhaps it will be enough that Maria and Tess do not want us around any more and my fortune is up for grabs. I will give him a million dollars in cash and a million in shares put by for Abby's future and he can be independent of me and disappear. None of this or the money I'm taking is traceable back to the fortune here as it's from my brother's escape account which was kept well hidden, as were the rest of his ideas.
I know you are expecting your child and may not be able to travel should I be found dead so I will tell Antonio under confessional that I'm Derek not Ben that Maria knows it and we both love the children. Should you not at the funeral then he must declare I'm Derek not Ben and after the truth is known I wish to be cremated and my ashes scattered where my brother's are so we will be together and at peace.
There is one thing I never told him in Seattle, far too dangerous for me, but you should know.
You are Mrs Megan Evans have been from the moment he married you in the Mission. His memories from that are astounding. He loved you so much.
You see I married Maria Torres in Seattle before Ben came to Sunset Beach it's all in the other letter to be honest if she had said 'No go see Ben and talk to him' I would have listened possibly acted in a different way - who can tell. But she didn't nor did Carmen or Tess they were there as well.
Perhaps I should have known better she took three years with him but she had my children not his and they are such a beautiful gift.
I can not blame my parents they tried everything to make me feel a whole person and remembering now they nearly succeeded after Ben left to live in New York, only Dad's death of a heart attack brought on by a virus and Mum dying two hours later of a broken heart - asking my forgiveness because she could not stay and love me - destroyed it. We missed each other in New York had we met none of this would have happened I was so angry I would have killed him and no doubt myself afterwards or visa versa. Instead I hunted him down, it's all in the other note as I said sorry for the tone I no longer feel that way but I don't have time to re write it. Ironically I was going to destroy it today and let you live in ignorance because you deserve the love you have.
Would I have listened to Maria when I returned to Sunset Beach, September 1999 I don't honestly know - I do know when she knew the truth there was still time for me to run with her and the fortune but she was happy with what I was doing even helped.
Perhaps it is my destiny to become my brother and run as he did. Possibly to my death, I hope not for my children's sake.
So Meg, I'm putting my freedom and my children's safety in your hands, in your memories of his love - let me run with my children I will bring them up so they will love and give love they have gentleness in their blood.
I may even take them home and show them the most loving couple I knew - after all she carries her name.
But should I be right and Maria succeeds for their sakes not mine become our avenging angel bring justice to us all so they can live safely with Gabi and Ricardo or ask Antonio to find them a loving home. Tell them for all my faults and they are many I love them always will. The fortune is yours by right I ask only that the children do not suffer too much.
Two other thoughts, the pride and love I felt when I walked with Bette at her wedding were from both of us Ben and I loved her gift of love and respect and returned it willingly - there was no lie in what I feel for her I hope the truth will not belittle that day. To Annie tell her my brother thought of her as a wayward sister who he tried to help the words I spoke to her on the pier the day she was so low were the truth and everything she has done since is the 'true Annie' and if you could give her The Gallery she deserves it because I know she will make a go of it and her life with Jude.
Don't be sad for us perhaps as twins our love was always meant to be one way. For me I will always love Maria and I have two wonderful children. My brother, all he ever wanted was for you to be happy with or without him and you are.
From your troubled unsure love for Ben you have found something much deeper. You've stood by and protected your lover from your past.
Perhaps your true soulmate, if so I hope it will always stay two way, that he is well, still recovering from his illness and will be a loving father to your child and children in the future, most of all, he knows what a loving wife he has.
Love him always.
Yours in truth and respect.
Derek Benjamin John Evans.
As the words in her head in Derek's voice faded, she could feel dampness on her cheeks and knew she had been crying. Her thoughts were purely on the fact she was married to her soulmate and Derek had found happiness … The rest disappeared as she turned to look at John to find a look of deep deep sadness with tears running down his cheeks as well. Unthinking she started to brush her fingers against his cheek to brush away the tears and felt his fingers brushing against her cheek.
Touch not words was important to them.
It was only the whispered gasps from the others with a quiet "Oh my goodness" from Mandy that made her realise John had read the letter out loud - it had not all been Derek's voice she heard in her head … her thoughts stopped there because John very gently planted a gently kiss on her forehead and said softly. "Meg Evans I love you."
"I love you too Ben Evans." Came her loving return then snuggled into his shoulder forgetting everything and one - just wanting to be with him.
But his voice edged in a sadness that nearly choked her brought her back to the here and now, "If only she waited a few more hours to get her freedom. None of this would have happened." There was silence for a moment then she felt his gentle touch on her hand and words in her ear. "I'm sorry but we need to know what he else he said Meg."
Slowly she sat up looking at him, his eyes so deeply sad she said gently, "We have our love and he came to you and you forgave him."
John nodded.
Slight flickers of the true betrayal he had suffered were beginning to break through but she put everything to the back of her mind and reluctantly found the package opening it a key dropped out which she put back on the table.
As she did Robert asked gently. "John, the video tape did it arrive?"
"Yes I'll watch it when I say goodbye to him properly, thank you for taking it." John said soft but calmly.
Mandy gave John a cup of tea and said gently. "Let us read this, you need to rest. I suppose nothing will stop Meg from going now."
With a gentle smile John answered as Meg looked up at him. "No she will go for our family sakes but I want you to go as well."
Mandy nodded and added "Tyus's wife is a nurse so Meg will be fine travelling. Will you be all right here?"
With a slight smile he looked at the others knowing Mandy would follow his look and answered. "Yes … I've got enough hawks thank you." The he looked towards Meg and added. "I would like to take Meg into town before you go though."
Meg looked up questioningly but John shook his head he was not going to tell her, so she settled back having slipped the pages into their protective sleeves and Mandy came over and sat beside her.
In the back ground as she started to read she heard Jack say gently to John. "Remember your love for Meg not the past love …"
The rest was lost as she read realising Derek was right the tone was sharper, she checked the date and saw it was written the day after she arrived in Sunset Beach for the birth of her sister's twins and wondered if that harder self had to have one last fling before dying.
Dear Meg
You will no doubt be reading this with your children and grandchildren near at hand and mine will be sad at my passing.
We have had our rightful loves and lives and prepared the next generation, fulfilled our destinies. I played my part and you played yours.
Yours was to leave Sunset Beach and find your proper soulmate.
My part was to be reunited with my soulmate and family and return my brother to his rightful place so he could rest in peace. If you are interested my brother's ashes were scattered in Canada and if it exists at time of reading there is proof in a locker at Sunset Beach PO Box 446677 it is kept on a continuous account – why do I keep it I know life is fickle. I have no doubt you will let the past rest in peace we have been good parents and have brought up the next generation, as they should be.
If it had not been right and he had been allowed to live our lives would have been unsettled unfulfilled as it was everything fell into place this time.
Proof that our destinies were being fulfilled was confirmed the first time you returned to Sunset Beach, for some reason you tried to hide that happiness but it was in your eyes and now today when you came back for the birth of your sister's twins there is a deeper happiness and now I find out you are expecting a child.
A gift you were not willing to let Ben give you and you knew him longer than your new love. No doubt the love your soulmate as well as your family as they have grown up over the years will reinforce the fact you I – we did the right thing no matter what you read now.
As you have guessed I am Derek Benjamin John Evans I took back what was taken from me at birth and am whole. Though I live and bring up my family under my brother's name I shall be cremated under my really name even if the records only show his name. But that is in the future,
As for me now at the time of writing - the unsettled part of me has now been put to rest and I'm becoming the quieter loving man I should always have been.
All those years ago when I was in my mother's womb they talked about me as Derek working out my other names Benjamin John, after my grandfathers, and planned what the three of us should do – all that time my shadow twin hid in the womb with me. He only showed himself when he had to after my birth - he was in truth a shadow, a weaker twin and was given my middle name at birth so he would die with a name that meant something to my mother. But no, he decided he wanted everything that was rightfully mine and lived so I had half their love and time through the rest of my life with them.
Being identical I would look at him and know he was my missing 'part' not only that as we grew up he always came before me - all because he was Ben and I was Derek it never mattered to those outside that I was the eldest one. On top of that we had a connection, which meant he had to be close to me and he expected me to give him love and time - how could I when all he brought me was heartache.
From an early age I knew some when I would be free from my shadow till then I would let him join us on my terms as was my right but that was never good enough he had to steal people from me. If he had died then everything would have been in it's right place the name would have lain at rest with him and I would have taken my rightful place beside my parents, three of us instead of four, he did not so I have had to put things right.
Now I have taken back my stolen name.
I could have left Sunset and eventually used my real name but that would mean Maria would have had to leave her family again and I didn't want that so it is my choice to use the name my parents gave him. You might think it strange that we christened our son Benjamin but not after my twin as Maria lets everyone assume but after my mother's father and use the shortened name Benjy. Benjy also has the family name of John, which is passed on to the eldest son and lastly mine but he does not know that yet when he is old enough he will be told his true birthday and names.
My soulmate and family have the love they deserve because I no longer have the heartache I had - I am whole and at peace.
As for my brother's fortune and life style they are payment for the love and time he stole from me and would have been mine if I had been the only one.
To be complete I took his memories and added them to my own through these I will explain everything to you and you will know that we did the right thing.
Where to start that is difficult everything is interlinked and you know a lot of it but as time will have gone by between me writing and you reading this I will drop in some reminders.
So lets start, at the beginning of September 1999 he left Ocean Drive for Seattle to find out about Tess and Maria instead he found a new home, the basement of 34 Franklin Street. It was only fair that we swapped homes, that was my old address and to prove my point no one missed him or thought it odd I should return to my wife, of course you leaving him like that helped a great deal. You see Destiny was being fulfilled.
Neither my brother nor I are fools - I learnt from the kidnapping in the warehouse and knew I needed distance and someone better than that snake Eddie to do the job this time. So, I employed two guardians and used my connection and his conditioning from childhood as well drugs. The guardians' names are not important I paid them 1 million dollars to keep him in Seattle and 5 million to be paid after his death; proof was given so I paid.
I knew he was coming because Tess told me, she managed to get the information from Maria who of course could not remember her time in Seattle if she had she would have helped and life would have been easier. Strange how her full memory returned as I started my life in Sunset Beach, perhaps she knew the danger was over and could become my soulmate again. To put her at her ease I told her I killed my brother straight away but she knew I lied so I told her he was in Seattle just in case we needed a body and would die at the right time. She did not stop me in fact she helped me.
I'm ahead of myself so back to Seattle; obviously because of those headaches I could not get too close to my brother but I knew if I was cool and relaxed he would not have them so strongly. The jailers followed him from the airport and after he booked into the hotel, he nosed around to get the feel of the place and came near Franklin Street, which was good it would save me worrying about any phone calls back to Sunset Beach that evening.
I knew it would take a lot to kidnap and break him this time so I used his respect for life and you along with his love of Benjy – that love made him soft less willing to see deceit. The twist is of course Benjy is not his son, he is mine and Maria's conceived in love the same as Samantha and any other children we will have. Add to that he now knew I would kill as required, those killings shook him, showed him what I/he could do if pushed, being identical can work both ways - in him I saw a softer side in me he saw a darker side. As for Eddie's death if he had not been such a greedy snake he would still be alive today – I warned him - I reckon I did everyone a service that day don't you?
That part of me has gone now my shadow has finally been put to rest.
But in Franklin Street, Seattle that day he did not know about Benjy not being his son only that I would kill - so there was my brother approaching within sight but not hailing distance. He looked up, sensing my presence for the first time, not a headache just that sense you have that someone you know is watching you. He had been having a mild headache since arriving but put down as stress. Who can blame him with that unsettled life style of his? There was that flash of disbelief/recognition mixed with fear and sinking feeling as he realised I was not dead. Well the last time he saw me I was falling down the cliff face and now here I was in a quiet street, which had connections with his family, carrying an innocent child in my arms, the right age and looks to give that connection to Benjy. Nearby was the boy's mother chatting, she was a dark haired beauty a bit like you in fact also innocent of the situation. – Stunned I think would be a better word for what he felt.
We only had minutes to move so the jailers were already approaching him - one from the back the other from the front till they were beside him. To anyone watching it would seem like an innocent meeting of a stranger to two friends. We had two-way radio ear pieces etc so he knew we were in contact with each other and I made sure he could see the small knife inches from the smiling child in my arms. The threat was silent but a powerful one, a wrong move and the child would die and then the mother.
It was the only way – My brother knew I learnt from my mistakes in the warehouse and I would carry out my silent threats to kill. Just as I knew he would kill himself rather than be in my power again, hence two jailers to meet him. You see he knew his death would have stopped my chances of taking over his life in their tracks – he still trusted no one with the password and as I guessed and found out a little later he'd added a shutdown or meltdown programme which would be triggered if the computer was tampered with or wrong access codes entered.
The power rush I felt as I saw him quietly hand over his freedom and his life to me was unbelievable, worth all those close calls and years of waiting.
I watched him do as he was told, allow one wrist to be handcuffed to the jailer and then silently walk between them along the road past me but not so close that our sameness would draw comment and into the house. He knew I would stay with the child and mother till I was told all was well, and I did. He was put in chains in the basement and from that moment on I reclaimed what was rightfully mine -my life as a whole person and name Derek Benjamin John Evans.
Would I have killed the child and mother if he had tried to escape or kill himself? I would say yes in a heartbeat because I would have been angry at him, but in truth I don't know because I made damn sure the risk was too high for him to take.
As I entered the basement it was like going back into the womb only this time I knew I would come out whole and alone. For him the chains were his birth cord anchoring him to the womb and he left it would be to his death as he should have all those years ago.
So, I took back my name and left him none – nothing - not even the clothes he came in, and over the next days I took his memories and his fortune. It was not easy, even with the drugs he showed his stubborn streak.
For his part he learnt the strength of his jailers and his compliance meant food and water also any attempt to escape would cause him pain with the possibility of your pain or death as well. With my record he had not reason to know I could not hurt or kill you. I also explained the possibilities of how he would meet his ultimate end and that he would have to wait for the final outcome. I left him with light so he could see his photo of you – you know after a time memory fades and that was another thing I took from him – time and knowledge of night or day just like a baby in the womb, though this time it was light all the time in the womb it was darkness.
The watch you gave him always felt so right on my wrist – still does.
He needed to be returned to the soil and it is well known a body without a history causes problems so the jailers and I gave him a history, one the Canadian and US authorises would not waste time checking too deeply - they had better things to do.
So, he became a lone junky, amongst his things a note that could be read as a suicide note and some money that they could use towards a cremation. Perhaps they thought it was enough for a last fix but the walk in the mountains finished him off, whatever they bought the story. A clapped out van being driven by the jailer who looked like my brother from the distance would have carried out the day to day duties while the other kept him hidden in the cabin - drugged for the final fall. They disappeared with or without the van depending on whether my brother was the driver or just a pick up on route, their decision at the time. Of course the body would not be recognisable, unshaven etc, rocks, trees and snow would do their work, and there was no reason for the police to have any idea of a twin or Sunset Beach. Ashes were safer than a body that could be dug up later.
Why not the sea near Seattle, well my brother and I have a history of the sea spitting us out alive, as you well know in his case. In any case Canada was the country of his choice the one he would have escaped to with you if I had come back from the dead and troubled him again. – I did but not in the way he expected – If you can remember that far back he did reassure you that I was dead, but he being him had that slight doubt so did his thing with the computer and planned for a quick get away should one be needed. As I said we learn by our mistakes just don't make a show of it and because of this I always had a back up plan even if it was to pull back and wait for another chance.
As for his final name, well that made the circle complete I used the one he had when he settled in New York only fitting really. If they did ever check and got back that far they would have found he walked out on his first project, a night club and they would assume he just went down hill mentally. After all who would in their right minds would hand over a good project to his partner and vanish. Guess what - I missed him by a whisker and by that whisker he missed his destiny for the first time.
Think Meg, if he and I had met then there would have been none of the heartache that followed, but then our destinies could not have happened. Perhaps that was why we did not finish it then, we still had people to meet and that was why everything fell into place in September 1999 - it was the right time and place. Whatever.
In New York he learnt it was no good changing his name I would find him so used his own name from then on, funnily enough it nearly worked but good fortune shone and I found him and made sure I never lost him again. I became his shadow – only fair he was mine in the womb - we had this unwritten agreement that I would pick up payment and move him on; he believed he chose the next place that was not true because I knew him so well I could nudge him in the right direction. He was getting wiser and I wanted to settle so I could have a life so we only did it a few of times. I say we because before I left New York I had a partner who could be fairly close to Ben without him realising it – it was Tess she's good at disguises etc. I promised her part of his fortune but not love, though we did sleep together and have a good time.
The time in between New York and Sunset Beach is not important, though Seattle is because that's where destiny/fate and actual love came knocking. Tess and I were visiting the city looking for the next stop and challenge for Ben, we found a restaurant it was full but we were too hungry and tired to move on, found a table for four with two empty seats. Maria introduced herself and Carmen and said we could share as we chatted I realised I loved her, met her again that evening then married her in a small place on the edge of Seattle- yes love at first sight for both of us and will be forever.
We had the advantage that records were written down in books not on the computer as they are now. It was aptly called "Love Chapel" North Side, as it suggests it's on the northern outskirts of Seattle. I know some of those places can be so over the top this one was not. Maria wore a simple white dress and I a black suit, we made a smashing couple, Tess and Carmen were witnesses along with a couple of people who just loved watching weddings. I have a feeling the people who ran the 'Chapel' might have taken a photo for their records, we didn't care to be honest we were too much in love. We stayed in a hotel for our honeymoon planning the future, finding our hidey hole, where Tess and I could live while my brother was in Sunset Beach, which turned out to be Franklin Street.
Tess went back to where Ben was living to keep an eye on things and once everything was settled Maria returned to Sunset Beach and I went back to give Ben the nudge he needed to send him on his way. For her part Carmen made sure Ben's name was heard in whispers before he came, nothing too obvious just enough in the right circles and Gregory Richards took the bait even taking him under his wing after the convention. Gregory, of course had his own agenda being on the look out for suckers so we just fell in beside him, knowing he could take the blame if things went wrong. Nearly did when the caves were blown up and for once not my action all Gregory's doing.
After Ben arrived I waited in Seattle, relying on Maria and Carman for information either by phone or a quick visit to Franklin Street. Ben thought I was dead so relaxed and found Maria, Annie with her attitude towards men tipped him towards Maria and unknowingly helped cover her lies.
He came as a closed package - a rich man with a silent history his confident manner always put people at their ease. He never talked about his past after all admitting you have a twin who could chase you from city to city was not a good idea. Maria married him and stayed with him for three years - that was a bit longer than we had planned. But we were looking at the future without him and needed all investments; businesses started and settled, I would be able to keep them going. Making a fortune was second nature to him always had been and the bit that was missing from me.
Being a police officer and no fool Ricardo was our only weak link so Maria played her part to make sure he would not look into Ben's past and Carmen backed her up, no doubt Antonio's need for an outsider brother niggle Ricardo though he seemed to understand it and there was a bonus - Ricardo wanted his own life back now the others were grown up and getting ready to fly the nest.
The day of the storm was our time to move, everything was ready we had unsettled Ben so when he found us in the studio making love the shock would send to the boat. You see there are only a few people on boats in the ocean so it was his refuge, also of course no one would have seen what was to happen next. Ironically the storm, which no one knew about, saved him and I nearly lost Maria. But fortune shone and we returned to Seattle to regroup and waited for anther chance.
What if storm had not happened - Maria would have played the rape and killing in self defence card then with warm drinks and sympathy he would have gone to sleep never to wake up. The drink would have been drugged and he would have gone to the bottom of the ocean. Tess and I were nearby in a motor launch with chains and weights to stop his body from ever being found and we would have cleaned up the evidence in Ocean Drive and said nothing. Instead that room haunted him.
So we pulled back to Franklin Street with my soulmate, we loved each other and had our son. It was destiny looking out for us all making sure we trod the right path so he would finally die unnoticed and you would have your love and I would have mine. Where would you have run to when Tim cheated on you if you had not heard of SB.
Meg, so many people believed you were wrong for Ben, Annie and Tim just to name two and you were willing to walk away from his love several times and for his part he was not willing to storm in and walk off with you. So you had to be wrong for each other.
As for the island and the murders, boats are small and if you had all stayed in the house it would have been so easy I could have changed places then, even left his body on the island or left him in the house to be visited later and disposed of. Granted we needed to get rid of Mark and Casey possibly you as well leaving Ben distraught so Maria and Tess with Benjy in tow could come in a few days later claiming loss of memory as an excuse and publicity was the reason for her comeback. If I had not 'got rid' of him on the island before he found you then he would have quietly disappeared afterwards. Instead it was a bit of a mess as I kept tripping over people so I claim self defence, and unknown to me we lost Maria in an accident at Dana's point. Tim was a pain but on the other hand we had the warehouse kidnapping which was very interesting indeed.
I found you and just how stubborn and secretive my brother could be. I really thought he would have trusted you or someone with the computer codes – guess that's my brother for you, trust no one.
Talking about finding things out under drugs, typically my brother was rather proud of you when you whacked me over the head in the cabin. You know that really hurt, and I really loved you, would have given it all up if you had done as I asked. Instead I had to watch as you chose him and then that damn cliff nearly had him the second time but you no doubt helped him up. Found something else out, that the cliff was damn hard and the sea was wet. But as I did not drown I knew I had yet to fulfil my part in our destiny. Oh yes and the other thing that you and he had a connection of sorts and I would have to stay clear of you – shame that.
I would have thought if you were his soulmate you would have felt how messed up he was as a result of the earthquake but you did not. He was not over the kidnapping in spite of what he told you. He was still worrying over you, thought you and your family might be dead and of course escaping from that room with Tim was not fun. Add to that his memories of Maria's drowning and the fact no one seemed to remember he was alone in the ocean before he was rescued … and yes he was scared. Wouldn't be surprised if coming close to Maria that day added something to he nerves, it would have been interesting if they'd touched but Destiny said No. I do know he needed you like a warm blanket to cuddle up in and go to sleep in and wake up to find nothing was wrong. But all you could think about was your injured father, which was right in a way you had not really flown from his protection as you did later on.
Ben knew this so closed down on his need and flew to your father's rescue regardless of flying in a broken helicopter. All in the hope it would help show you and your family how deep his love was. Your father recovered can't say it worked on the rest. Of course the next day he flew the same routes he did when he looked for Maria while trying to find Sara and Casey did not help either, even if you did walk beside him on the sands. Finding them brought it's own tension between him and Casey but like true friends they managed to joke about his 'bad timing' – of course if Casey and Sara had succeeded in cementing their feelings things might have been more difficult later. I would have liked that friendship but it was too dangerous Casey could have sensed something was wrong and would have talked to you about it and you would have acted.
Then there was your wedding a right mess thanks to Annie, Tim and Maria of course add to that your father's attitude towards Ben. – Nice - You always had a romantic streak about first loves and wives should be together and there was that niggle that you were suddenly the mistress in a triangle, not the girl friend to a widower anymore.
For our part we played on Ben's respect for people especially with Maria being his past love. Her lost memory was a nuisance but things worked out and when Benjy turned up (depending on the DNA) using the child as his own or mine in a rape story, combine that with her guilt from 'killing' me and there was your reason for her absence and an extra pull on his heart strings. We misjudged his deep love for you though; he was only going to standby Maria and Benjy not become that all important family unit we needed for our plan to work.
When I came back to Sunset Beach in September 1999 I knew I could not kill you although you would be a danger. I know Ben wrote you a letter so I wrote it's opposite to keep you away by your reaction you only received mine. See Fate/Destiny step in so you didn't get it, mind you I often wondered what happened to it. From his letter you would have know I was a lie and for once he was going to act on his feelings and break the golden rule. He guarded that secret very well but the drugs won in the end.
His love for you would have smothered you and you needed to find your true love find that true balance, which you have. In death he is at peace - a peace he could not find while alive. So we pushed him in the direction of Seattle if we could not get him to go we had a house in Sunset Beach not as nice as the one in Seattle - he made the right choice.
Don't feel sorry for him, he was the youngest kid to have a key to his own all in one room with bathroom attached, think of it he could watch and do what he wanted in that room. Mum, Dad and I had the rest of the house, they used to visit him for meals and bedtime stories as for going out and about someone was always willing to escort him. Sundays were best when we had a parent each and we would go on treat, you know the kind of thing one week Mum next Dad and occasionally we went on family treats but I made sure they were never too long. He had to know his place that connection he had with me was a real bind. When older we found we could live apart but I still made the rules and he knew he or someone would be punished if they were broken like before he kept within the rules. One rule was not to tell tales to our parents and when it was decided he should live in America while I stayed at home I told him never to return home not even at or after our parent's death. He never did.
The separation helped because I was the only one – oh I knew my parents knew he was all right and there was something in place so he knew about them but not the close contact he needed. I loved my parents and ran the firm as they wanted even discussed contacting Ben again. But then they left me, all within 12hours. It hurt that Dad left me like that but it was an virus that affected his heart and could not be helped but Mum told me she could not stay and love me, that I was to find love with my brother; her love for her soulmate was too great. They let her stay beside her dead soulmate and within two hours she had closed her eyes and was gone. I was her son part of her and I promised her I would love Ben and we would be together but she did not stay.
If I had been the only one they would not have left me as they did! She would have stayed so I would not be alone!
He was to blame so I had to become one to find peace – I did and have.
As for him he expects things to be taken away from him so I could not disappoint him. He could not have come back to Sunset Beach he had nothing to come back too. Benjy was not his son; his wife did not love him and his supposed soulmate had been unfaithful. He saw you kiss Casey under South Pier and that shattered him. No it was better for him just to disappear and let life right itself.
Things might have been different had your parents stayed in Kansas and you stood by him like in the early days, that 'feeling' would have got stronger I saw flashes of it in the cabin but the nail in the coffin was you believing he slept with Maria at the Casita. I was surprised you fell for that considering it was your special place. Did you think so little of my brother that he would do such a thing!
That was all a set up done by Tess and Tim could have so easily back fired instead you ran to Casey and Ben saw you not knowing what you had seen. He was so shattered by it all if left alone he might have died 'drowned' in a bottle and memories - not the sea this time - and Maria would have found his body in the morning. - Now that might have made life interesting but not impossible. Oh yes morning not all night as you might have thought that is if you remember.
Instead Tess heard from Tim that Ben was at the Deep so she pushed Maria to find him. Can you picture it two very confused people, Maria wanting to find something she had lost (or muddled memories from our love who knows) and he deep in this black hole where he had been once before but this time you had put him there so no one was going to pull him out. Somewhere though he grabbed on to a lifeline and oh what a life line. Goodness knows what memories Maria actually had at the time she has never spoken to me about that morning. Perhaps she is too embarrassed by the fact he did not want her - she had to push him over the top to have him.
When he came to his senses it was you he was worried and felt guilty about not Maria he knew deep down she had used him as much as he had used her. But before he could pull himself together and do something about it you walked in on them and refused to listen to his plea to explain. I wonder what would have happened if you heard his story – love and hugs and the up and down ride of so called love would have continued. But you refused to listen and because of who he was he respected your wishes - to be left alone.
Of course you gave him a glimmer of hope when he saw you before he went to Seattle and you said you were not with Casey. Meg, if you were really meant to be with Ben you would have gone with him to Seattle, after all there was nothing to stop you.
Did you even realise he was in pain every time you voiced the thought 'he should be with Maria' in words or actions - all he ever wanted was to be with you and have you stand by him as he gave Maria back her life and bring some stability to Benjy's, after that he would have been free to love you totally as he wanted to as he needed too.
Granted there would always have been the link with Benjy, it niggled you didn't it that he should have a son by someone else. For him it was the thrill of finding out he was a father and then the guilt of missing those early years and trying to bond with the child. We knew commonsense would come later, in fact his letter to you would have proved it and it was time for Benjy's real father to bond with him again I really missed my son.
Tess, well she was my partner I used to say she had a heart of dollars but she also liked Maria and Benjy. I was surprised she loved Tim, Abby was my gift to her - she deserved it, of course there may be the odd bonus as well but that will be done very carefully. Tim found out bits and pieces regarding Tess but was happy with her cover story and attention once he realised you would not come back to him - he loves Tess completely.
Benjy's kidnapping well that was Tess's attempt, Benjy knew the guy and went willingly so no kidnapping. He took the money and disappeared because I would have skinned him alive having put Benjy in danger, that was good timing on Ben's part of course if Ben had been badly hurt I could have tried the hospital gag again. Instead when the time was right I went along with Tess's cover story and gave them a start in life. I will say this for the man he is he's making a go of it - just goes to prove there is good in all of us.
In all partnerships you keep mementos so when I bought a gun for Tess to keep her safe while 'working' I kept the certificate along with bullets etc also details of a sapphire and diamond watch. Even now she keeps it in her jewellery box says it's got fond memories for her. She believes I got it out of pawn for her, truth, it was my way into her trust and helped cement our relationship, if she really thought about it she would know that police and pawn shops go together, need I say more.
Your watch feels so right on my wrist as for the ring you gave Ben I needed something that was special to him; he was after all part of me once. Funny thing is Maria has never commented on this fact but then she knows our love is greater than anything else put together and we have our children to celebrate this love - what more can I ask for.
Seeing Samantha born was really wonderful even better than seeing Benjy born perhaps it is because she is a daughter – what is it they say a son for the mother and a daughter for the father - I love Benjy just as much as I will love Samantha as she grows up there is that boy father bonding as well.
What of my brother well I can only say after the days I was with him he did not exist – I was tempted to tell him the truth about Maria and myself but I realised that would make him very dangerous because he would know he had married you. Instead I told him that on the night of the storm Maria wanted him out of her life that she helped plan everything. Told him Benjy was mine and that the four of us planned to return to Sunset Beach when he was talking and past the potty stage in life. We have doctors screaming he was younger than he was, luckily he's a bright kid and would bond or not with whomever Tess or Maria told him to, that was why he didn't bond with you.
I also explained about Maria's back up plan for the day of the storm if things went wrong in a different way. She had already rung Ricardo to say Ben's moods frightened her, well he was suffering from really mind blowing headaches she would add on blackouts with loss of memory, even illusions leading to drugs or a possible stay in Cedar Oaks. Maria would have been in charge of 'Ben' legal etc details as he was for her when she had no memory it would have lead to his quiet disappearance and my reappearance. Instead he had guilt nightmares and a whole lot of confusion.
You know he never fully trusted Tess and even wondered about Maria and Benjy in spite of Ricardo's checks, which were good. He was waiting for the mistake to show itself, and it was coming because Sara overheard Tess and Tim talking about that million dollars, and Sara being Sara gave my brother that extra push into action of course irony was that Maria's dodgy memories did not help us, so dear old Ben nearly caught us out in Seattle but we covered well enough.
That's one thing about Ben he was willing to wait, your father on the other hand wanted everything cut and dried and as soon as possible preferably to his liking - as you found out. I thought being a farmer he would have understood Ben, but he never really got that close to him. Goodness knows what would have happened if those two had really talked. Instead we stole Ben's heart with Benjy and your father's comes to that. But that is okay the boy needs an uncle or grandfather figure.
Just as well Ben was in chains and his guardians with him when I explained it all to him pain and anger were an understatement but he had a right to know, give him peace of mind he was not leaving a son behind. Like later on when I showed him your future by altering Sara and Casey's engagement photo and article, he needed to know you were happy and loved and that Sara was also happy with it. It was good timing otherwise I would have had to make something up, you never did really settle till you walked away from your family. Maria is very good altering photos etc but trying to invent Bette's column would have been difficult and if he had sensed a fake he would have been troublesome as it was the guardians managed him very well. We added our family photos and others showing how happy we were and that no one missed him. - Well that bit was true.
Of course he never knew about Carmen working in the back ground making sure he never fully recovered from Maria's loss by always insisting Maria was alive. Of course her family's transformation was well planned thought out Antonio was always destined for the Church and she never wanted Ricardo to get the friendship he had with Ben back so she stirred it with the woman he thought he loved especially Gabi but she had a troubled start anyway. Of course Carmen's skill with the cards came in very useful that's how we and you found out about the island and set that little train of events in action.
I'm glad Gabi and Ricardo finally found love and a family he really deserved it though I don't think Carmen will ever believe it.
So as you look back on your life you will realise we are as we should be - my brother at peace while we fulfil our destiny by having the love and life we should have.
I wonder can a leopard change its spots or does it only hide in the undergrowth waiting for the right time?
(it was signed) Derek Benjamin John Evans
As Meg finished reading her mind was in turmoil and hurting, Derek sounded so self congratulating - that he had the right to do what he did, and without realising it she exclaimed. "How dare they plan to hurt John like that. She pretended to love him and married him!"
She stopped because she felt a hand on her arm and she realised she had spoken out loud, it was Mandy's hand giving her a tissue, which she took and wiped her eyes. She was still so cross and yet a glimmer of understanding that Derek had been ill and had changed even given love and had been betrayed her tumbled through her thoughts of what he'd done…
They were stopped by Mandy's gentle words. "Tess and Maria or Carmen could have … should have stopped all this in Seattle before John came to Sunset Beach, I have no doubt Maria saw Derek's hurt and used it. I'm sorry Derek never truly recovered from the loss of your parents."
Meg looked at John who was looking at her because of her exclamation and saw his eyes were dark and his expression so closed down, she suddenly flashed back to Ocean Drive and a smoke filed bedroom as he stood calmly waiting for the smoke and flames from the bed he had just set light to take him and end his pain. He blinked and gave an almost silent sigh, and she saw the look that had greeted her as he'd opened the door to her the next day when she had returned Maria's white dress, and saw the look of a man who realised that she would not give up, and he was hanging on and given time would come back to them.
She wanted go to him, but he got up without a word and in a slow awkward walk walked away from them, towards the front of the apartment to where it looked out onto the paddock, and she knew he was hurting too much and couldn't trust anyone any more. Starting to get up she felt Mandy's hand on her arm to stop her, and knew Derek was right she was partly to blame, she'd walked away from him and everyone he trusted had left him or harmed him, and spoken words wouldn't mean anything at the moment.
Then she smiled, he was not alone Shep was coming up behind him with his tail slowly wagging, and everyone held their breaths as John stumbled slightly,and she prayed he would not zone out on them, because she doubted even she could bring back this time. But he didn't, he managed to find one of the chairs that had been left near the passageway, and sat down. Put his head in his hands and then slowly started to run them through his hair, reminding her of her own unconscious actions when in trouble. She watched as Shep took advantage of the situation and sat at his Master's knees, then rested his head on the man's lap. John's hand automatically came down to Shep's head and he started to smooth it and his neck while looking out into the distance, possibly at the horses which included Sandy running round the paddock.
Meg felt everyone start to breath again, and heard Mandy's very very quiet "We'll leave them if that's all right Bob, talk next door, the letter tells everything and hurtfully. Meg go to him in a while and then try and rest, Jackie and Simon will stay."
She nodded and let the movement of the others go on around her, trying to come to terms with everything and how her soulmate must be feeling.
oxoxo
The others had gone in a matter of minutes, and their two hawks stayed watching while quietly pottering about tidying that end of the room. Meg eased herself into a more comfortable position as she felt her son get getting fidgety and smiled in spite of her thoughts. She saw John sit up slightly and Shep raise himself so his paws rested on John's lap, then slightly tilting his head come into John for a cuddle. She'd seen it before, but this time instead of John just stroking Shep's back, John rested his head against Shep and then stroked the fur on his back.
After a while there was a gentle rumbling bark and Shep slowly slid down and John sat up properly, Shep then stood and barked and looked at the door. Meg watched knowing that Shep could open the door but it looked at if he wanted to make sure his Master was all right, Meg waited for John to give the command, instead he got up and pressed the button to let Shep out and then walked towards the window.
Meg got up and realised John would not join Shep as the horses were being rounded up for rides, and he most probably still didn't want to be around people. She walked over to him and stood beside him ready for and understanding his rejection, instead she felt his arm slide round her shoulders. So silently she snuggled into him knowing that words were not wanted – they could only hurt or sound false - it was the quiet understanding he needed now.
They watched the horses being lead out of the paddock and Shep fussing round the fence posts making sure it was the right one he went to before turning back towards the apartment and looking at them barked to be let in.
She heard John's gentle laugh and felt his hand slid down her arm to release her and then felt his hand grip hers, not hard just a touch to say he didn't want to lose her touch, so she walked with him to let Shep in.
Shep bustled in, in his usual manner then went over to his place by the fire, with John beside her they walked towards the sleeping area as they drew level with the lounge area, she heard John's gentle. "Music?"
"Countryside I think." She said surprised by the love she could hear in his voice in that one word, she'd expected the hurt to show through.
He looked at her for the moment then said gently. "You can stay here if you want to; Jack and Robert will do it all."
She looked at him, realising he was doing what he always did, put others ... her concerns before his own and gave a slight smile and hoping he would understand her meaning said truthfully. "No I want to go, and we both need this closure. To see and make sure everything is all right for both families."
His slow smile that always flipped her heart came with a gentle nod, showing her he fully understood, and then he said gently. "I'm sorry he hurt you like that."
She could not quite understand what he meant, after all it was he who was really hurt not her, her puzzlement must have showed because he said in that caring voice he had. "Derek turning everything round as though it was destiny and your fault not his or theirs, it was not your fault there was so much smoke around neither of us could see things properly. But he's right in one thing in the other letter to you, I have found my soulmate and it is two way and always will be."
She realised he knew the tone of the letter she'd read silently and said gently wanting to take the pain away somehow. "They should never have hurt you or betrayed you. What she did took something very precious away from you."
"You gave it back to me and now we will have a son." He said softly and gently tilted her head so they could kiss. Nothing frantic just a loving reassuring kiss between two people who know they love and will love each other always.
Then they broke apart so they could find the music and went the bathroom before back to the sleeping area. There they made themselves comfortable laying beside each other her hand resting over his as it lay gently on their son who was as usual fidgeting before settling down. With a quiet comment from him, which made Meg smile they listened to the music and gradually fell asleep.