Chapter 61

Meg finished pulling the bed cover in place when she heard the outside door to the apartment open. As she turned round to see who it was she cancelled out the idea it was Jackie popping out for a moment as she was in the kitchen area and followed on round to the doorway and smiled as she recognised who it was and noticed he hesitated before coming further into the apartment.

She started to slowly walk towards the doorway exclaiming a puzzled "Dad?" though her mind was remembering a habit of his. He always walked the boundaries of the farm when he could not sleep … the boundaries of the hotel gardens were no doubt a substitute. Oh joy another one at it today, perhaps they were all at it and just hadn't met up yet or were going to here!

Hank looking back at the door as it automatically swished closed behind him and then around the room hoping to see the person he really wanted to talk to. He'd been out walking mulling things over and as he came to apartments automatically came in … sort of mulling thoughts coming to a definite conclusion over rode the common sense and reason angle - It was not his house, way too early so should not walk in, should go back and wait for an invitation not barge in.

As he faced Meg again he suddenly realised he could have walked into an embarrassing situation and was glad to see she was up and dressed. Part of him registered that as he'd glanced in the windows he had not been able to actually see further back than the dinning area, though he must have registered the impression of a figure in the kitchen area and subconsciously assumed everyone was up. He had no idea of the time his watch was back in his room and his mind flitted back to his other thought and knew he needed to check so said. "That door's a great idea but can be locked."

Meg had seen several expression cross her father's face, as no doubt thoughts and realisation gathered and laughed then said in a tone that told him walking in on her was okay this time but not next. "Yes Dad we can and do. Don't know if you noticed no one can see into the back of the apartment and it's the same with all the lights on. And we do pull the curtains as well so we have the normal privacy when needed. But as we were awake and around we left it on the buzzer and Jackie was watching and that's how you didn't get barred. There's an emergency lock down by the kitchen area and the bed area if needs be."

Hank nodded satisfied and saw a frown cross her face and said quickly to reassure her. "Everything's fine … couldn't sleep any longer so decided to walk around a bit. I can't believe Mandy owns most of the valley and its so beautiful in the morning light."

Meg laughed knowing it was easier to refer to it that way and explained, "Yes it is, no doubt you saw it last night as well, it's got many moods. It's all on farmers leases some been in those families for generations and that's why they couldn't call them in to save the hotel, Ben owns some of it as well but he's counted as family and it would revert back to her."

"Where is he" He asked as they got close, gave a nod of acknowledgement to Jackie and realised just what shadows they were. Then he hugged Meg gentle and then released her.

Meg smiled and answered. "He's in the sunken garden you must have passed it if you came round the back."

He thought about his route and reckoned a sunken garden must be down hill … nope could not remember that one and said. "Umm not that I remember, I did see a row of hedges that seemed to lead to the apartments and decided to take a lower path that went to the woods it looked more interesting. I came up at the back of the stables and then walked by the paddock and came here. It was lovely and I found a stream amongst the tress seemed to come out of nowhere. Anyone with him I'd like a word." He saw a frown cross his daughter's face and said gently. "I just think we need to talk about his brother ... I'm not going to bite your husband's head off Meg."

Meg sighed; she knew that tone he was not going to be persuaded otherwise and she needed a point cleared up before she gave the okay so came to it gently. "The streams from the sunken garden and the hedges hide it, his name is Ben and he's with Simon and possibly Paul. He woke early and didn't want to go back to sleep." She added hoping he would take the hint and suggest a later time.

"Nightmare?" He asked gently with a look of understanding.

She was so surprised that he would think of it and said "Yes … things were mixed up a bit … about Derek, I was there but mainly about Maria and the supposed drowning and betrayal … we didn't want to tell Bob. Ben didn't want to be drugged again it takes him all morning to recover and would have made him feel worse. So we talked then called Simon and Jackie and then Paul so I could rest – he's on orders to bed rest this afternoon regardless and he'll talk to Mandy when ready. But I don't want him pushed too far he'll try and shut down his own feeling to cater for your needs."

Hank nodded with a hint of a smile. "I'm not surprised about either, being drugged would make him feel very helpless and that's the last thing he needs especially with us around. Must admit I had a strange one myself that's why I walked." He paused slightly then decided to carry on and asked." Will you come with me I do need to talk to him before the others surface I've no doubt they will be around after breakfast. I think your husband should know what I think about what happened … and before you start … I know we've not been too good together but things have changed … his history in the open and I will not push too hard."

Meg looked across at Jackie who nodded and then back at her father who noticed the move and frowned, Meg smiled and said "Jackie is Ben's carer so I'm guided by her advice, luckily the girl she has been looking after is away for a couple of weeks on a special holiday so she's back with us full time. You do know Ben has a name don't you."

Hank nodded and said. "Yes and it's a bit of double edged sword at the moment for all of us."

Meg nodded understanding her father's meaning and said firmly. "Yes Dad, but only for you and the others and that's your problem not his. For us it's John and Ben but we use Ben, in truth he's never been anyone else" and gave a slight smile as she added "though I expect he'll answer to anything at the moment even the gaps as we stop and think about it …but that's okay it's part of the family healing and he knows it. Come through the garden area it's our back door, just step on the mat and the door will open."

Hank nodded realising again just how much she had grown up and so like her mother, understanding and wise, and did as he was told exclaiming as the slid door opened. "Impressive and Shep opens both."

Meg laughed, "Yes all three actually, and heaven helps us when the children are around, I know." She had stopped by the counter and picked up a light jacket then clipped a radio to it, Jackie bent down and retrieved something from under the counter and called out. "Mr Cummings catch!"

Getting his attention she threw a clip on radio and as Hank caught it she carried on to explain. "Anyone with Ben has one, the red button is the emergency button connected to the hospital and as Bob is here it's quicker to use the green button that will link through to all the others including the hotel reception. Use that only if Ben or Meg collapses say where you are and what's happened and someone will come. The side button is the chat line you press it and speak. You'll hear a click or pip, then my or someone's voice, when you answer just say your name and message. If you hear my and anyone else call your name you use that button, it's really very simple and useful."

Hank at looked at it carefully not touching the red or green button and then attached it to his jacket pocket and looked back at Jackie and realising she was wearing one commented. "You all have one even in here."

Meg who had was now beside him smiled and said, "Yes, it means you're not stuck to a machine, it's a special frequency and the green one is the main frequency. … It also means you are one of the family rather than a guest, though you'll not be allowed alone with Ben yet. … So, as you are up and about does that mean Mum is a wake?"

Hank smiled suddenly feeling trusted and said, "I expect so. She was sleeping and I left her a note saying I was walking not to worry. Didn't tell her about the bad dream, it was history from the last two days and I needed air to sort it out. Though I expect she will have guessed and she knows I always take my cell phone when I walk."

Meg look back at Jackie and asked, "Could we all have breakfast in the garden room?"

Jackie nodded and said, "Yes, warn him though and tell me if he wants to cancel. Val will help me set up she'll be down in a moment and I'll ring through so Mrs Cummings and the rest of your family so everyone knows what's happening." then smiled as she added. "Ben got Simon and Paul to bring in extra tables and chairs yesterday just in case."

Meg laughed and thanked her realising it was just like him to think of it and say nothing, then as they walked through the garden area she noted them stacked in the corner and explained about the garden and how the cover comes over in winter or when they wanted it. She chatted pointing out other things hoping to hide her nervousness about this meeting; she knew it had to happen but first thing in the morning! And silently hoped Jackie had managed bleep Simon quietly to warn them, knowing full well that although Ben liked to give surprises he hated them himself.

As they came to the path, which led down to the sunken garden she shook her head and smiled guessing that the extra benches that were around and no doubt would be in the garden itself were put there at Bob's insistence. No wonder Ben had nicked named him 'mother hen', he knew how far he could walk and didn't even try it if he felt off so didn't need that extra safety belt of seats. Her thoughts were interrupted by Shep bounding towards them and gathering them up.

So there was no creeping up on the threesome and Jackie no doubt got her message over in clicks rather than words as she hadn't heard voices. It was still very quiet and saw Simon and Paul were lying on the grassy bank while Ben stood by the waterfall watching them walk towards him. She smiled taking in how good he looked and called out to the others as they passed them. "Catching up on your beauty sleep then."

Paul and Simon sat up and smiled and said together. "Morning ma'am" with a nod of greeting to Hank as he walked just behind Meg.

Meg quietly sighed silently acknowledging their tone … Oh yeah, they were in good form, well at least they gave a civil nod to her father.

Hank nodded back half expecting them to get up and leave so they could have some privacy, after all Meg was with him. Instead he saw they lay back down and Simon called out as if reading Hank's mind "Pretend we are not here."

Meg had quickened her pace to get to Ben and put a hand on his arm; Ben nodded and touched her hand as a silent okay and called across to Hank. "I'm afraid my hawks will stay, they really don't want to be plucked by mother hen when he finds out a) I'm here or b) they left me. Mother hen by the way is Bob and he was still asleep when I went for my walk and it seemed a shame to wake him."

Simon and Meg snorted while Paul just curled in a giggling ball as Ben carried on. "Don't worry about the lads they are very good at being deaf and dumb. You slept well Hank?"

Meg had to move away from Ben to stop herself from breaking up into giggles … talk about tempting fate especially as Simon and Paul, who managed to stop his giggles looked at each other wide eyed and innocent then nodded to each other and lay down again. But on the other hand she reckoned that comment could be taken as a compliment … he trusted them completely … just as he trusted her … and now they knew it.

"Yes thank you." Hank said easily, knowing he had, up until the nightmare woke him of course but Ben didn't need to know about that, especial after what Meg had told him just now.

Meg managed to calm herself and asked quickly. "The family is coming over for breakfast is that all right?"

Ben nodded and said, "I thought they would come over sometime so added extra tables and chairs, I think Jane added a couple of high chairs as well. Are you all right standing?"

"I'm fine, you?" Meg said gently giving him the chance to move over to the seat if he felt he needed it knowing that once the conversation started he would stand or sit till it was finished.

Ben nodded and turned his attention to Hank and said "Thank you for coming I know it could not have been easy for you.

Hank gave half a smile and said. "Funnily enough once I knew the truth it was easier than I thought, and that was not just because the women and Casey ganged up on me at the time. Though that stopped me trying to find a reason not too and the actual packing wasn't too bad either, though some will come over later."

He turned serious and Meg recognised his tone, there wasn't a threat in it but it was firm, like he used when wanting explain things to her. "We both have one thing in common …well, two actually … love of Meg and her unborn child … and from that starting point I hope we will come to understand each other better. I admit my love for Meg has prejudiced my thoughts about you, and I'm sorry. From your actions I know you will keep to your ideas and respect mine … you have always tried to show your respect for me, I just didn't see it."

Ben nodded knowing Hank would carry on, which he did.

"Last night I went to the church and I suspect you know all about it from Simon and Paul" Ben gave a slight nod so as not to interrupt him. "I want you to know I went not because I had to but because I wanted to, we all wanted to, and it gave us a kind of closure. I didn't know your brother well but I knew the man who loved his children … would give them the world if he could … I recognised that through my own love of my daughters and that was the man I said goodbye to and will remember.

Again Ben nodded his understanding while letting Hank continue.

"I want you to know, that I'm not trying to step into your parents' shoes … it's from a father's point of view that I say the action you took was right and caring and any parent would have been proud of you. It sounds as if your parents nearly succeed in helping Derek only their death stopped it. … You never stopped loving your brother and gave him the chance to receive and give love, for that alone I know your love for Meg and her son is deeper than any of us can understand and thank you for it."

Hank paused for a moment seeing his words were affecting Ben; he didn't want to embarrass him but wanted him to understand they were there for him, and in a lighter gentler tone said. "Last night I talked with Mat and he told me about Paul and other things and I realised how much you care for your friends and tended to shut down on your own pain. I know you understand our pain and I'm asking you not to shut down on yours because of us. I want you to let us help you, know that we are here for you to talk to as well as being here for Meg."

As he finished speaking he held out his hand to Ben, guessing that hugging him at the moment would not quite be the right thing to do. They still had a long way to go, after all he once decked the man before hearing him out.

Listening to it Ben could feel his emotions threatening to over whelm him, he had not expected that opinion but knew from the sincerity in Hanks voice every word was meant and shook his hand and slightly shakily said. "Thank you I will try … but you know I never was one for words."

Hank smiled, that was true and a habit of a lifetime could not be broken in five minutes. "Yes but just having someone beside you is enough I've no doubt you've found that out as you have been getting your health back," looking round he added "this view, area and quiet has no doubt helped a lot."

Ben smiled and nodded remembering the silent hours with Simon or Jack as they sat together just looking as his mind slowly recovered.

Meg who had been standing close by went over to her father and gave him a hug and said, "That's on behalf of both of us. Thank you."

There were voices from behind the hedge, which they all recognised. Ben gave a hand signal to Shep who immediately got up from where he had been sitting and ran up the path.

"He's a beautiful dog." Hank commented as he watched him run.

Both Meg and Ben nodded and listened to the voices … "Mum! it can't be that way it leads to the hedge. … The apartment is that way. … We came out by the hotel side door."

Casey's voice was heard. "Sara, Jackie said follow the path till it splits. Oh look Shep we can't go wrong now."

There was a bark and then Shep came bounding into view only to turn and bound back again. His body language saying 'Hey this is fun!'

Hank chuckled "Defiantly rounding up the lost sheep and loving it."

This time round Shep panting ran over to the bank and lay down so he could watch the top of the path and his master, his tail though never stopped wagging.

Casey came first pushing one twin in a buggy smiled and said, "Yeah could have used him early Sara lost the twins in the carpet."

"Hey, that's not fair!" Sara exclaimed as she came into sight then she saw the garden and the archway. "Wow so this is the small waterfall … the view is fantastic. Dad, Meg." She changed from walking to a run and in a flash Shep was up and by her side expertly running beside with just his head brushing gently against her leg as a warning to slow, which she did automatically on feeling the dog beside her so she was almost at a walk by the time she reached the person she really, really wanted to see.

By the time Sara reached Ben, he was ready for her and opened his arms to her and they hugged. Hank was close enough to also see the danger and stayed ready to catch Ben should he topple, which he didn't. Joan who had the other buggy and twin smiled as she joined the others.

"I think I need to breathe Sara." Ben said gently.

Her muffled and desperate "I know, but I don't want you to disappear again." Was heard by everyone.

Ben moved his arms and gently brushed her hair away from her face and said soft but clearly, "I'm not likely to now."

Sara eased away from him looking at him, took in the pain and sadness and suddenly realised what she had said and gasped exclaiming, "Oh God I'm sorry … I didn't mean it like that. … I'm sorry I made you go." There were so many things she wanted to say and she had muffed it, muddled it and hurting him again.

Ben gently put his arm around her shoulder and eased her so they stood side by side and let her tuck into him, knowing he could sneak a leaning post from her if need be and said reassuringly. "Hey, it's all right and I was going there anyway, but that's in the past now. It's good you are here."

Sara tucked into him deeper as she said "Ben … I've missed you." saying his name and feeling his hand gently rub her arm and a very gentle "I know" made her fully realise he was safe, she was forgiven and her sister would not mind their closeness.

Ben looked over at Joan and smiled and nodded and again at Casey then said to all of them allowing Sara to move when she was ready. "I want to thank you for being here and trying to understand everything. I will always grieve for my brother but saying that I know the harm he has done and I don't want anyone feel they have to be careful around me. I will have a photo in our apartment of him and his children and I hope sometime in the future they will come and visit us.

As for Maria's part in all this" he paused and looked at Hank gave a slight nod then his gaze took in the group as a whole and carried on. "I admit I find it hard to understand but will no doubt with your support come to terms with everything. Most of all I hope I can show you the love I have for Meg and our unborn son is good, and I would like to get to know the twins and for that I think I need to sit down." He ended with a smile and immediately felt Sara move away from him.

Hank's radio clicked, which stopped him in his tracks as to what he was going to say to Ben, he looked across at Meg to see what her reaction was and was not surprised to find his family looking at him in an odd manner. Before he could explain Jackie's voice came out of the radio clipped to his jacket pocket. "Mr Cummings tell Ben the pancakes will be barbequed in five minutes."

Ben sighed, hearing Meg's gentle snort and seeing Sara's puzzled expression and said, "We'll explain later. She's been waiting ages to get me on that one." And flicked his radio and said. "We'll be there in ten minutes I need to meet the twins. … I guess I've got another baby hawk."

Meg laughed and Hank smiled as the reply came back over the radio "A family of them, my lad but not the twins … send Paul in. Don't be too long. Oh Bob's gone to the hotel but left a message, remember this afternoon and I agree with him."

Ben sighed clicked it and said, "Okay I accept defeat." with a shake of his head. He noted Paul was already moving so didn't say anything but as Sara moved towards the bench said. "So apart from losing them in the carpet do you like the rooms."

She laughed, "It was the bedroom one, which is long and fluffy and they love it. Glad I don't have to clean it. And yes I love the rooms, looked at the swimming pool and saw the waterfall it's huge! … Can we go today?" she pleaded.

"Sara" Hank said gently, she turned and looked at him then went over to Susan and got her out of the buggy. Joan came over to Ben who was walking slowly towards the bench and when they were close they hugged and he said gently. "Thank you."

She could see how much this was affecting him and said gently. "I'm glad you found each other. Be warned Susan wriggles." Which made him laugh and he accepted her shoulder to lean on a little till he got to the bench and then he sat down.

Casey and Sara sat on either side of him each had a twin who were getting inquisitive everything this morning had been new. Because they knew Susan was the impatient one they allowed her to go first, Mark would watch and wait.

Meg sat on the new bench and watched as small hands felt his hands and bright eyes watched each other as Sara said "Susan meet Uncle Ben." And listened to his soft "Hi Susan or is that Sue."

Sara laughed and said "We use Susan, she can shorten it later." There was a beautiful giggle and then true to form Susan started to wriggle up into half standing needing support which Sara gave her as well as guiding Ben so he could help support her, again it only lasted a couple of moments before she started to want her Mum.

Then Casey introduced Mark who true to form was quieter, more willing to sit and feel the strange larger hands, the shirt and up to his face and allow Ben to gently hold him and tease the small hands away from near his eyes. Again bright eyes looking at each other taking everything in and a smile met another, which had baby giggles to go with it.

While his sister also giggling became a hundred arms and legs as she tried escape from her mother's lap after all there were so many things that needed exploring so why sit here. Sara expertly stopped her daughter and said "So, when can we go to the waterfall."

Ben laughed and the twins stopped and gave him their attention, getting used to this new voice as he said. "I thought we would have lunch there. It will be a big group so we'll take the hay cart and some horses. Then Meg and I will rest this afternoon allowing you all to explore the area as you wish."

Sara exclaimed looking at her sister. "Can I ride Snow White?"

Meg smiled and nodded.

"Only part of the way." Ben said and the sisters looked at him he carried on with a tease. "You then carry her rest of the way."

"Ben!" Sara exclaimed and hit him gently on the shoulder though mindful of her daughter who was now asking Hank for a pick up which he happily gave. Casey took Mark who was showing signs of wanting to move.

Ben smiled. "Sorry couldn't resist. But I don't think it would be wise to ride all the way and you might like to try Moonbeam for a short time."

"Ben, you mean she's here!" Meg exclaimed

Ben nodded, "Yes she arrived with Flash and Lightening yesterday afternoon with apologies for the change in schedule. We put them in the bottom paddock so they would have peace and quiet. Jackie will ride her first to make sure she's okay … we can't have Sara disappearing off into the distance now can we?"

Meg giggled seeing her father's little nod, which luckily Sara didn't see or perhaps didn't take notice of as Ben carried on. "Non riders can sit and laugh, Val has her own so she'll not be fighting and we can fix up the others on rota of half rides so no one gets too stiff."

"Who is Moonbeam?" Sara asked puzzled why Meg had been so excited.

Ben explained. "Snow White's sister and she has a golden hint in her mane and tail and she's yours, Casey can have Trigger till we find one for him, the other two are Shetlands which the twins can use when they are older but for now they'll join Thor and Blacky. In the stables"

"Ben!!" Sara exclaimed giving him a sitting down hug.

Partly smothered Ben said. "It seemed only fair and I never gave you two wedding presents."

"Thank you." Casey and Sara said together.

All the radios clicked and Ben said "Breakfast I guess. Hank if you will lead the way Meg and I will follow I need a moment."

As Hank passed Simon he asked. "Will you be coming with us?"

Simon was getting up having answered the click of the radio knowing the others were engaged and replied. "On the ride yes so will everyone else who came back yesterday along with wives you met last night … for now I'll wait back with Shep make sure they're okay."

"Not giving him any room just like a shadow." Hank said slightly concerned.

Simon smiled remembering how it affected Meg in beginning though Ben being in the chair compensated for the intrusion. "For now, but even when we are certain he has recovered from his collapse there will have to be someone close by. Tell Jackie we'll not be long." With that he started to walk towards Ben and Meg, while Hank put his arm round Joan and guiding them said "Their garden room is amazing. …..

oxoxo

Meg came over and sat beside Ben and leant against him and felt his arm come round her shoulder and snuggled into him with a gentle. "All right."

"Yes will be. I just need a moment's quiet."

Meg gave a gentle laugh and said quietly "Too many, too much."

"Yes and No." He said with a sigh feeling slightly mixed up.

"It's okay I understand and so will they. We will be all right you know that don't you." She guessed he felt like she did happy with a touch of sadness and a little over whelmed it was going so well.

"Yes and thank you."

"You're welcome. Sara's right the view is Wow."

They stayed silent and looked across the valley letting their minds settle and then with a sigh they got up and with Simon and Shep close by they walked back to the apartment to what they both knew would be a noisy breakfast.

oxoxo

Hoped you enjoyed please review.