This is me…being…um…did you say lightswitch…
To my lovely reviewers…meaning one…and arirang…but seeing as she is, well, I dunno…she doesn't count…and Pineapple-Sister…YOU REALLY DON'T COUNT…dumbass…
xXJashin-rocksXx : Thanks for the review! Yay! Our ONE reviewer…so…um…I guess that makes you #1…here's your ribbon…but it's green…cuz blue is for losers…named Anna…wait…I don't know an Anna…cuz Anna's such a rare name…yeah…
And to all of those people who alerted my story…being one…review?...please…pretty please with sugar on top…and that's coming from a diabetic…I usually don't share my sugar…MINE!...
Now on with the story…I can rant later…
Disclaimer: It's OURS! WE own Naruto! Yes US!...wait…what's that you're saying?...there's some Japanese guy named Kishimoto claiming that it's HIS?...OUR LIVES ARE LIES!...LIES!...WE HAVE BEEN LIVING LIES!...
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Woah, yeah. Did that just?...no way. I t couldn't be. Did Hidan just?...Did I just see?...Was Hidan?...NAKED! Ugh, no, I'm dreaming, yeah. It wasn't real. Just one of my figurines, yeah. Must…think…of…something…else…SHOE! Yup, I went shoe shopping the other day. I got these UNBELIEVEABLY k-yoot
–that would be cute for all of those anti-me words people…yes, this makes NO sense…hell, it's almost one thirty AM! Damn…whatever…-
purple pumps. Yeah. Itachi stole them last night for a date, yeah. I think it was with Orochimaru…or the leader…I dunno, yeah. Orochimaru stole my BRAND NEW hot pink tube top yesterday, yeah. Hm...come to think of it, everyone has borrowed clothes from me within the last week, yeah. Except Hidan. Yeah, I have a GREAT outfit for him!...If I could squeeze him into a size two, yeah. I dunno. His butt may be slightly too large, yeah. Not that I'm complaining…Hidan…hm…He's so amazing when he's naked…yeah…he's so…hm…NAKED!...
-for those who can't tell, I like that word...naked…boonches…--I just really like the word when a smokin' hot anime character comes right before or after it. Like Hidan naked, or naked Hidan-
…naked…Hidan…man…I remember the first time I saw Hidan naked…yeah…
Flashback to like...hm...three weeks ago?...
The day was, let me think…Wednesday, yeah. I was walking down the hall, on my way to the laundry room.
–Just for you to know, the laundry room is NO WHERE close to this particular hallway…the hallway with the room off of it…you know, like most hallways…actually…all hallways…-
Yeah, well, I was about halfway down the hall when I realized that, poo, I forgot my laundry.
–so, while I was writing this last sentence, I was trying to think of a clean word for Deidara to use…so…I ask Pineapple-Sister what a clean word for crap would be…of course she says "crap IS a clean word…" of course SHE has grown up able to speak in whatever way she wants to…I, on the other hand, would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap for saying crap a few years back…ha…well, anywho…we determined that poo would be super-duper clean, seeing as crap is the clean word for shit, and poo is a clean word for crap…o.O…- -I like to call it purified shit-
Of course, I didn't want to take my same path (across the torture chambers, through the dungeons, down the path of doom, through the sewers, near the museum of medieval torture devices, towards the lovely little furry pink flowery garden of doom….etc…) across the rather large house, so I, very wisely, I must say, took a carefully planned detour…yeah. This detour, however, took me past a particular room. A room so foul that even stink bugs hold their noses. This room would be none other than the bedroom of a certain Hidan, yeah.
As I neared the dreaded doorway, a thought, a very disturbing thought, crossed my mind, yeah. What if Hidan was, per say…entertaining a guest? We all knew that Hidan was, how shall I put it, "a busy little rabbit…" Yeah, well, anyways, I slowly crept down the hall, careful not to make any noise whatsoever…I did NOT want to disturb Hidan. Still, how quiet can a person be when creeping through a hallway made out of tin cans, with pots and pans lining the walls, and just for extra decoration, large bells and wind-chimes hanging precariously low from the ceiling, yeah. So I crept along, quiet as a mouse…
-why do they say this expression…I know the mice…well rats…at our school are so loud that we can hear them during MARCHING BAND! Do you realize how LOUD that is…?...- -wait, you don't hear anything. Well, you never hear me…wait…-
So, yeah, I'm being SUPER quiet…hardly making ANY noise at all…when all of a sudden, BAM! I run smack dab into a large gong sitting out in the middle of the hallway. Right in front of his room, yeah. Who would leave a GONG in the hallway?
-this super clean speaking is driving me crazy. If I ran into a gong I would be all 'fuck this shit! Who the hell leaves a fucking gong in a goddamn hallway?!'- -yeah…like you can really complain about the fucking super clean language…I'm the one doing all of the damn writing…miss 'I've-gotta-get-my-homework-done-because-I'm-a-lazy-ass-procrastinator-who-has-to-do-all-of-my-fucking-summer-word-in-three-days…'…wow…that's a long name…- -cause you would NEVER procrastinate miss 'I can't do my homework because I have to write a story about GAY PORN' of course, I do love yaoi. And if any dipshit took that comment offensively, just go fuck a damn tree. I am writing this too. Don't you think I like it too, asshole- -what? Gay porn? YOU told me that Deidara was a girl and that 'he' was a nickname!...LIES! MY WHOLE LIFE IS A BUNCH OF LIES!...oh, yeah, and by the way...you people just got to meet the REAL Hidan…damn…where is the mob of fan-girls when you need them?- -ok, miss melodramatic, GET WRITING…dammit…-cough- fucking piece of shit -cough- and I'm a girl. A fan-girl. Other fan-girls scare me when they are running around (half-blind if they actually think I am Hidan) and trying to glomp me-
"What was that?" I heard a girl's voice mutter quietly, followed by a soft whisper, and a low moan, yeah.
"Don't worry about it, bitch. It was probably just one of those damn rats. Have you seen how fucking large they can get?" Hidan Who else could speak with such cruel language? It had also become quite clear that he was INDEED entertaining a guest, yeah. But what were they doing? Hey, I had my bets on a tea party…
"HIDAN! I really think that there is something out there…PLEASE go check!" I then heard a lot of shuffling and groaning, and plenty of complaining mixed in with some DELIGHTFUL language on Hidan's part, yeah.
"Damn. Gotta go check for a fucking noise, just cuz a damn bitch gets pissed off at the fact that I'm a lazy ass. Such a way to kill a mood." Oh no. HE is coming to the door. Uh oh, yeah. I better run. Far. And fast. SLAM.
"Damn fucking rats. Running into my shit in the hall…her and her fears…damn, and she was such a good fuck too." Poopy Where to hide…where to hide? Yeah. He'll KILL me if he sees me out here. Uh oh, yeah.
"DEIDARA!"
Oh double poopy. I have been caught. Yeah. Excuses…excuses…what to say…
"Whenawhosaywhatsanisit!" There, that should cover all of my bases.
"What the hell are you doing outside my fucking door? Are you fucking spying on me? Are you hoping to see something?" Excuses…excuses…see something? What is there to see? I mean, Hidan is already standing out here completely naked…wait…Hidan's naked…NAKED!
Back to the present time, which at one point was the future, and will soon be the past…ooh…so deep…
So…naked…yeah. Except, this time was more of an accident. And much less painful. Yes, MUCH less painful…and soooo amazing to see…perfection painted on a body…if only my clay skills were good enough to capture the pure aroma that comes from his naked body. The heat that seemingly radiates off of him, yeah. Hidan…naked.
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Ooh…time now for our second installment of conflicts…
#2: Deidara is too gay for his own good…and not too bright in the head…a little slow, if you ask me…
Warning: Story may cause excessive amounts of nudity, nightmares, random acts of kindness, prostitution, confusion, bad grammar, problems with 'splelling,' lack of sleep, narcolepsy, odd visions of Orochimaru in a pink tube top…ew…, fear of hair loss, low resale value on your house, bad internet connections on your retarded laptop, wait…are you seeing spots?...hm…I dunno what to tell you for that one…it sure isn't one of OUR side effects…
Pineapple-Sister: Great, now because of you people think I'm Hidan
Retarded-half-blind-fan-girls: HIDAN! OMG! Can you sign my FACE?
did you say lightswitch: -chuckles- Mwahahahaha….stupid fan girls…not like WE are ever THAT obsessive…wait…didn't you just say earlier that you don't have a sexual orientation because you are only in love with anime guys?...gosh…you are going to be the first person to ever marry a Shounen Jump magazine…loser…
Reviews…: More than one please?...pretty please?...
Preview:Hidan has a flashback…but of what?...better yet, of WHOM?...dunh Dunh DUNH!