Part 1
The Hood smirked as Scott turned to face him.
"I must admit, Scott, you've done incredibly well," He almost laughed, "You Tracys have a habit of making a fight of it." The Hood glanced at Alan who avoided his gaze.
"It's over, you have nothing left." Scott said to him. The Hood just smirked again.
"You have no idea boy…this is far from over." He turned back to the cage and his eyes fell on Gordon.
"Prison is a wonderful place, all the pain, anger and hatred, emotions I used to develop my powers even further." He glared at Gordon and the second youngest Tracy winced, bringing his hands to his head. The cage seemed to disappear, his brothers were gone, the Hood was gone and all he could see now was the deadly, dark depths of the fear he had tried to hide for so long…
Snow……everywhere……cold…heartless…suffocating…snow……no…no, leave me alone! ...get away from me! …it's all around me…I…I can't get out…oh God…Mum it's…it's too strong…it won't let me go…it wants to take me away…it killed my Mum now it's going to kill me…I don't want to die…not like she did……get away…get away from me! ……why won't it leave me alone? ……help me…please……somebody help me………
"What's happening to him?!" Virgil asked, worried by his brother's sudden shrinking into a corner, face hidden behind his hands.
"Fears and painful memories are powerful things, Virgil Tracy, especially when they're made to seem a reality…"
"It can't be…" Alan whispered. The Hood turned to glare at him.
"Are you sure about that, Alan?" Alan's eyes immediately snapped shut in fear but then snapped open again when his reality changed to the reality that was his miserable fear realised…
Not good enough Alan……never good enough………it's a good thing Mum wasn't alive to see this…she'd be so ashamed of you……not the others, of course…she'd be proud of them…but not of you…never of you……you'll never be a great Thunderbird like her older sons……they are perfect Thunderbirds…she is so proud of them…but not of you…you'll never be as good as them in anything…you're the shadow Alan…always the shadow……always the shadow………
Scott's gasped in alarm when tears began to fall from his youngest brother's vacant eyes.
"What are they seeing?" Scott turned back to the Hood.
"They are seeing their fears, Scott," the Hood answered, his eyes not leaving Alan's face, "For Gordon it is the snow that killed his mother and for Alan it is the fear that his mother would not be proud of him now like she is of his older brothers because he is not a good Thunderbird like them-"
"But that's not true!" Virgil cried in shock.
"Not true Virgil? Perhaps…but you and I both know something that is…don't we?" The Hood turned his merciless glare on Virgil. The middle brother cried out in pain.
"No, Virgil!" But Scott could only watch as his brother plummeted back into the suffocating emotions that had plagued him twelve years ago…
Where am I? Where's Mum? Where's Dad? Where are my brothers? ………oh……they're gone……Mum died, didn't she? …yes…I remember……she's not coming back is she? ...no…how could she? ……I saw that avalanche………Scott…where's Scott? ……yes, he had to look after Alan and Gordon, they needed looking after…Dad couldn't do it and neither could John……so I'm alone again……no one remembered me……I have to stay by myself…they can't see me…they can't hear me……I cry but no one will hear my sobs…or see my tears……I'm all alone………I want my Mum back…please……don't leave me alone again………
"What's he seeing?" Scott asked, spinning round to face the Hood again, "Answer me!" The Hood smirked again.
"Technically, he can't see anything, just blackness…but what he feels is loneliness, the same way he felt after his mother died…his father and John were too deep in grief to comfort him and you…you naively thought he was coping…then again, you were too busy looking after Alan and Gordon to be worried about him, weren't you?"
Scott stepped back.
The Hood was right…he had been too naive to notice Virgil. How could he have believed Virgil was alright? That his middle brother was coping with the grief. He was only eight years old for heaven's sake, how was he supposed to have coped alone? …Had Scott forgotten about Virgil's grief because he had been too busy to grieve himself? Had he assumed that because he could forget the grief then it obviously wasn't that bad?
The Hood turned to face him with a look of amused curiosity.
"Well, well, well, Scott Tracy…I haven't even started on you yet and already your fear has become a reality" The Hood laughed coldly and then glared at Scott, his cold voice emerged from him like black ice…except it wasn't his voice anymore…it wasn't his body anymore……it was someone else's…someone all too familiar……except her skin looked like it was made of wax…her hair flew behind her like she was a raging storm and her eyes flashed with the fire of hatred and disgust……
You promised me, Scott…when I lay there on that bed I knew I couldn't do it so you promised me you would in my place…I knew your father would be grief stricken so I put all my hope in you……and you let me down………you promised me you would take care of all your brothers……all of them……now look at them…Alan has been forever living in your shadow, Gordon has a fear he didn't feel he could ever tell you about, -though he won't admit it- John has isolated himself from everybody…and Virgil…Scott, how could you? …when I left that was when he needed you most and you left him to cope on his own……for those two years after my death he needed you more than he's ever needed anyone in his entire life…and you left him alone, alone to face his grief……
You let me down, Scott…I trusted you to look after your brothers and you didn't……I trusted you to be there for them and you weren't……I died believing you would protect them and you haven't…
"But I tried…I tried so hard to do everything you wanted me to do…to be everything everyone wanted me to be……but I couldn't cope…not on my own……maybe…maybe I didn't try hard enough…maybe I was never strong enough……you're right…I let you down." Scott admitted miserably as his mother's voice, full of cold and heartless scorn, rang in his ears, "I failed…I'm a terrible brother and an even more terrible son…"
That's not true Scott.
Scott didn't see the Hood jump back in shock and confusion. Scott looked behind him. Again, his mother stood before him but she was different. Her skin held a warm glow and her hair was soft and tidy. Her smile radiated a light through the basement but Scott didn't look around, instead he kept his eyes fixed on her, scared that, if he even blinked, she would disappear and leave him again….
A warmth seem to spread from her to him, almost as if she were wrapping her arms around him…shielding him from the world like she did when he was two years old, before his brothers were born, when it was okay for him to feel vulnerable……
That voice may have sounded like mine but it was just a physical representation of your fear…… Scott………when I died you were twelve years old…and you had to do what no boy of that age should ever have to do……I don't hold it against Jeff…or John…for not being there enough…but you had to give up so much to keep the promise that you desperately insisted on making……and I don't blame you for Virgil being alone……you were all alone… you, Virgil, John and Jeff…Gordon and Alan had each other and were too young to understand what was going on……I could see how alone you were Scott, part of me was glad you had Gordon and Alan's care to distract you but that also stopped you from letting it out…you still haven't, even now………it was selfish of me to accept that promise from you…but you have kept it and done a great job of caring for your brothers………Scott…I'm so, so proud of you…I always have been and I always will be……now, you need to get back in control, your brothers need you………goodbye Scott, I love you all, always…
It was painful to see her disappear but he knew it had to happen. Scott had a job to do, and his mother had faith in him.
Suddenly, it seemed like all his brothers were calling out to him at once.
Scott, please forgive me for never being as good as you are…
I…I can't get out…Scott, please help me……I'm not strong enough on my own…
Alan sounded guilty and ashamed and it pained Scott to know he felt that way. The eldest Tracy knew that this wasn't just a mild phobia Gordon wasn't experiencing. For the second youngest, and arguably one of the strongest of them, to be truly afraid it had to be a true, deep, penetrating fear.
Scott…please don't leave me alone…I…I know you have to look after the others but………I'm scared……I don't want to be alone……please Scott………don't leave me…………
It would have broken Scott's heart to hear those words if he hadn't bravely held it together.
…
Falling apart wouldn't help him now.
He had a job to do and a promise to keep.
His brothers needed him.
…