Oh, a little note before you read, the italics are supposed to be bad grammar and spelling, it's supposed to kind of give it an authentic-ness.
As always, thanks to my reviewers and beta, Evergreen-baby.
DISCLAIMER: There once was a writer named Rowling, she earned a lot of pound sterling… I have non of that and will continue to get none of that cause I DON'T OWN ANY OF IT! The lawyers made me say that… well… ok I admit I added the nifty rhyme in the beginning… that was all me! Yeah!CHAPTER 4:
Hermione's brain reeled and suddenly rage got the best of her. She shoved Sirius out of the way and was about to delete the messages forever but was distracted by the misleading notes once more. They had seemed so real in the beginning and she found herself getting caught up in the words once more. She knew it was stupid. Hell he hadn't even had a way with words, but just the thought that he had actually taken the time to write down his feelings was enough to get her heart to melt again. But it had never been like it sounded and he had hurt her more than she could fathom…
My Dear HermioneMy
darling I have missed you so so much. Yeah you might think that it's
only
been two days since we talked but to me its a very, very
long time. I honestly
realized that I can't make it through a day
without talking to you. So of
course more than a day to me is
complete torture. I swear I can't sleep and
I feel like I can't
breathe when days like this happen. I know this sounds
really
crazy and you know what's even more crazy...is that I am saying this
truly from my heart and I still haven't seen you yet. Its more
like you are
all I ever think of now. I feel like I would die
just to have a chance to get
to see you. I haven't got the chance
to o on msn and I don't exactly know
when but my darling I will
try to come on ASAP. How are you doing now my
darling. I pray
that you are better than the last time we talked. I hope
you
enjoyed your time at Ronald's party too.
I miss you sugar like crazy and I
wanna talk to you soon baby.Love
Stephan
Tears were falling down her cheeks now and she ferociously hit delete and yet another note came up. She had memorized this one… she had been so taken aback that someone wanted to pay attention to her… it disgusted her; they had been in the middle of war for God's sake!
Tell Me Why
-Stephan
Is it the words I say
that would make you trun
away.
I do not mean for so
but its sumthing I show
tell me
why would you go
Leaving me thinking about you
Wondering what I
should do
Always waiting to see you
Wanting to get close to
you
Always having you in my mind
Thinking of you now all the
time
Hoping to talk to you soon
Wanting to rush the
moon
Impatiently waiting
My patience is fading
I now realize
a new feeling
Like you are the one to cause my healing
I trust
what I feel
I think I know what is real
I am waiting for the
day I see you
And dying for the day to be with youP.s. :
This is what I want to tell you...Its more like this is the complete
version of what I had begun to tell you. This is my first love
poem so I
hope you like it. Bye (L)
She felt like screaming she felt so dirty! It had been 2 years ago for gods sake! She viciously deleted that one as well. Sirius reached out and grasped her shoulder but she shook him off. She had been stupid and naive. The last and final window opened this one was the worst she almost couldn't stand it.
My darling Hermione,
I was so pleased to hear that we are finally going to meet in person. I feel so close to you already and I keep thinking that if you were to leave me I would kill myself. It's so nice that you are including your parents in the dinner. I cannot wait to meet the ones that made such a beautiful intelligent woman. I almost can't wait until we meet on Tuesday… miss you till then
Untitled
-StephenYou are so amazing
You are
very fascinating
You are more than words can tell
You make
heaven out of the worst hell
I swear that you are more than
sweet
Thinking of you now with every heart beat Chorus
I lay awake all night
Finding a way to make it rite
I've
never felt this way before
With confidence I'll walk this
door
Trying to make sense out of all
Before I go crazy and
fall
----I want you to trust me
Go beyond what you
see
Its what you feel
So all what I say is real
And all what
you know is the deal
Now I lay here
Hoping the time is near
I
look into your eyes
Knowing that you are the one
That will
think of me even when I am goneChorusI lay awake
all night
Finding a way to make it rite
I've never felt this
way before
With confidence I'll walk this door
Trying to make
sense out of all
Before I go crazy and fall
---Because
I haven't seen you
Truth is I don't know what 2 do
I believe in
what you tell me
I am blind and cannot see
I trust you will
make it with me
Nothing but our trust is the key
Even when I
see your beauty
Which from my blindness you free
---
Chorus
x2
I lay awake all night
Finding a way to make it rite
I've
never felt this way before
With confidence I'll walk this
door
Trying to make sense out of all
Before I go crazy and
fallP.s. Okay so this what I come up with while I was up all
night thinking of
you. This is just the beginning. There is more
to come and better. I promise
that all my love poems and lyrics
will be only for you my darling. I will not
write for any other
girl. I hope you liked it. My first and there will be
better. I
hope to talk to you sooner than Tuesday. Tell me what you think about
it.(L)
Hermione was on the floor now, she wasn't sure how she had gotten there but there she was sobbing once again. She couldn't stop, she had tried, she wasn't the strong person everyone thought she was. She was weak and she couldn't stop. She felt warm strong arms wrap around her and she pressed against her head against his shoulder as another round of sobbing came and she felt herself being lifted out of the room.
"What happened Hermione?" Sirius asked softly after a few minutes. He had placed her gently on the couch and was holding her hand softly. Completely dumbfounded as to what to do. Hermione let out a shuddering sigh. She hadn't told anyone. Not a soul, not even Harry or Ginny. She had put this pain upon herself by being open and civil to someone she didn't even know. She stayed quiet.
"Tell me Hermione." Sirius said a little surer of himself, obviously she had been hurt. Bad. "He killed my parents." Hermione whispered, more tears welling up in her eyes. "What!" Sirius exclaimed, he stood up and looked around, hoping to see one of the twins hopping up and telling him that it was a prank. It was a pretty sick prank. This beautiful woman was so broken. "He told me he was a squib and that he loved me. I believed him!" Hermione said forcefully. Sirius shook his head and gazed at the broken girl in front of him. He had known something was wrong but up until now; he didn't know what. "It turned out he was a death eater and when I ended up being late he killed them both!" Hermione sobbed. She wasn't sure why she was telling Sirius this, but she had to tell somebody. No one knew. The burden was getting to be unbearable.
Sirius's face had blanched since the last time she had looked up. "I haven't told anybody it was my fault yet. I was so stupid. They had wanted to kill me that night…" Hermione's voice faded into the silence of the darkening room. "When did this happen?" Sirius asked, his voice barely audible. "2 years ago. I killed him, I found him and I killed him." Hermione said, bitterness edging into her voice. Her hands clenched into fists. She still couldn't believe she was spilling her heart out to someone like Sirius.
"And no one knows what had been happening?" Sirius asked, surprised at the strength the young woman beside him possessed. "I think Ronald might have had some idea about the beginning e-mails, but other than that." Hermione looked down, her tear streaked face covered by the on coming shadows of dusk.
Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. None of the others had even noticed the change in her behavior? He found this hard to believe. Then he realized they probably thought it was the remnants from the war.
He had one question left, he couldn't not know why. "Why did you keep those letters though?" He asked softly. "To remind myself what a stupid mistake I had made. That's never going to happen to me again." Hermione explained with an edge to her voice. Sirius shook his head slowly. She was torturing herself; not allowing anyone else to get close. He doubted she would have told anyone if he hadn't found those E-mails.
Hermione looked up at him, make-up had melted and there were dark streaks running down her cheeks where the tears had fallen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go take a bath." She said getting up stiffly. Sirius nodded glumly and offered her his hand to help her up, she refused it and walked head held high out of the room. I have to tell Remus… As if reading his thoughts she re-appeared at the doorway.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone Sirius…" She whispered. Her moist, jade green eyes pierced his with fire. "Promise me…" She repeated louder this time. Sirius couldn't help but nod. He couldn't bring any more grief to her after all this, no matter how wrong he thought she was. Hermione took this as a good sign and slouched out of the room once more. He waited until he heard the water running before he got up and half-jogged to the computer to delete the last message.
The house was unusually silent now, he wasn't used to the pipes not creaking or Kreacher not scuffling around in the dark. For a while he missed it. It left him to his own thoughts, thoughts that wouldn't seem to settle, or forget the deceit the woman in the room beside him had suffered.
Told you guys it was short, tell me what you thought, what you think will happen next, or just comment. Flames will be used to melt butter for my popcorn.
TITLE:
Ok so I'm getting kind of tired of posting the votes so this post will be the last post you can suggest a title for, unfortunately. I will base my title on my own appeal as well as the votes that have been received. So vote for any of these or create your own, after this chapter everyone is probably getting a sense of what this fic is about… kind of. Lol, ok here are your previous suggestions in voting order,
Tied for first:
'Going Against Social Norms,' 'Tension,' and 'Lost Time.'
Other Suggestions(no particular order):
'Missing Youth.'
'Lost Youth.'