Richter is roaming the library.
He finds a lesser demon.
"Die, lesser demon!"
He finds a book.
"Reading hurts my brain. Die, book!"
He finds a naked Master Librarian.
"MY EYES!"
He finds a regular Master Librarian.
"Your knowledge of all things mundane makes me jealous! Die, librarian!"
He eats a flea man.
"Yummy!"
He finds a hallway.
"Die, hallway?"
Not knowing how to kill a hallway, Richter walks down it instead. The Soul of Bat relic is waiting for him.
Seeing the relic, Richter is reluctant to progress the fanfic.
"No way in hell that I'm touching that thing!"
Alucard comes in.
"If you touch it, Anetta will suddenly grow double D-sized boobies."
Richter touches it.
Thanks, Alucard.
"You're welcome. ...Now where the hell's my paycheck?"
Alucard laments through his half-human-half-vampire, angst-filled quest for a paycheck. He's out of the story. But he's in his own parody of the Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest.
Remind me to write a chapter of that story later. Speaking of stories...
Richter's hands are starting to seem grotesque--and not just because I realized that Richter nearly never washes his hands.
"Hey!!! They're not THAT dirty!"
(cut to a montage of all the times Richter never washed his hands.)
A day at the petting zoo would've been ruined by the fact that someone accidently switched the animal's hay with two tons of laxatives, if not for Richter knowing how to make his own fun.
Richter scoops a pile of feces and starts to pat it into a ball.
"Snowball fight, anyone?"
(Cut to another scene)
Richter has his pants down, peeing in front of a toilet. Mid-pee, someone bangs on the door.
"HEY! GET OUTTA THERE! GET BACK ON SHIFT, WE GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF HUNGRY CUSTOMERS WAITING!"
"Huh?! Yes, sir!!" Richter finishes, quickly puts on an apron and a hair net. He runs out of the restroom hoping he'll still get to keep his job at the Pizzaria.
With the violin music from Psycho in mind, cut to close up of a sink, soap, and a not-invented-yet hand-dryer that were never used.
(Cut to the last scene)
In a combination of the last two scenes, Richter is rolling around in a field of animal poop and pizzas with somebody playing a violin. That's it.
(End Montage)
Richter is stunned.
May I continue the fanfic?
-as they stretched and lengthened into the recognizable framework of bat wings. If not for the bat features distorting his face, we could see that Richter is struggling to not bite off his tongue in pain.
"I...! Knew...! This was...! ...Going to happen!" He begins to shrink into a small, hairy, screeching ball of flesh, A.K.A., a bat.
Once he freed himself from the mountain of clothes he was stuck in, Richter flies off into the night. Okay, maybe not the night exactly nor the flying part, but let's just change scenes to somewhere else.
(LATER)
"This sucks..." CRASH! "I fell for Alucard's trick-" CRASH! "-and now I'm a bat." CRASH!
Bat-Richter falls to the ground but decides to stay lying there.
"And, dammit, I can't see a thing!"
He tries again to fly. He flies into a wall. CRASH!
Richter's blind as a bat.
As he falls, a Sword Lord snatches him from the air. If Richter were a women, the Sword Lord's look might have been interpreted as love at first sight. But as Richter screeched, struggled, bit fingers, The Sword Lord stared at the bat's brown eyes and yelled.
"Ce-yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!!!"
Richter stopped.
"Awwww! This bat is the cutest one EVER!!!"
The Sword Lord drops his sword (gasp!) to rub Richter's furry belly. Richter is stunned.
"I'm gonna love you and hug you and hug you and love you and love you and love you again and I think I'll call you George!"
Richter is trying to fly away but the Sword Lord is using his thumb and index finger to hold his tiny leg. He's flapping in place.
"C'mon, George! Let's go home!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The Sword Lord holding Richter gets smaller as he walks away from the camera. Richter's squeals and screeches are interpreted by the Sword Lord as noises of affection.
Oh no! Is this the end of Richter?!
TO BE CONTINUED!
Alucard: Dun Dun Dun!