A/N: What currency do they use in the Galactic Alliance, anyway? I thought it was unibucks or some stupid name like that.

Darkmatter's ship touched down at exactly 10:10 PM Planet Z Time. He leaned back against his seat and waited for the pain to abate. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he'd learned to go without it. Acid rain splattered his windshield, tracing patterns through the fine layer of dust. One pattern looked a bit like a cat.

Eventually, Darkmatter's leg stopped throbbing and he could stand up. He opened his com device, paused, and closed it again. It occurred to him that in the four-odd hours he'd known Howl, he had never properly seen her face. God knew what Zurg would do to it once he got to her. Darkmatter left the cockpit and slipped silently into the holding cell.

A single light glowed in the corner of the cell. Howl lay on the floor with her chained arms resting awkwardly above her head. She somehow maintained that element of sinister grace, even while sprawled passed out on the floor. Darkmatter sat beside her, keeping his weight off his bad leg. He brushed a lock of black hair from Howl's face and realized that she didn't have ears.

Upon closer inspection, Darkmatter discovered that Howl did indeed have ears, but they were positioned on the top of her head, partially hidden by her hair. They were pierced with silver studs and triangular in shape; cat ears. She was undeniably catlike in nature, what with the teeth and the eyes and the tail. Her face, neck and arms were covered with a thin, fine layer of black fur. Darkmatter wanted to reach out and stroke it, just to test how soft it was, but he restrained himself. If Howl woke up and found Darkmatter touching her, she'd probably pop him in the jaw.

Howl's facial features were surprisingly soft and delicate, though her fangs were probably sharp enough to bite a finger off. Each fang barely touched her bottom lip, which was pierced on the left side. Her nose wasn't quite human, but it wasn't completely catlike either. The bridge was almost nonexistent. Though Howl's eyes were closed, Darkmatter remembered how brightly they glowed. Something behind those eyes had sent pinpricks down Darkmatter's spine. He couldn't place it. Howl's left eyebrow had two rings through it, one of which seemed more recent than the other.

Darkmatter allowed his eyes to travel down the length of Howl's body. Her spacesuit was completely black and very close fitting, though her heavy chest plate made it difficult to get a good look at her tits. She was not exactly thin, but her arms and legs were pure muscle. Now Darkmatter understood how she'd held him down without any effort. Howl's tail was draped limply across her leg, the metal spike dangling uselessly from the tip. Darkmatter shifted back a few feet in order to take Howl in all at once. She was damned hot, there was no denying that.

Darkmatter pressed a tiny slot in the wrist of his metal arm. It revealed a hypodermic needle, which he flicked once and slipped into the side of Howl's neck.

"You'll be getting a full eight hours tonight," Darkmatter remarked, tossing the needle into the corner. "But who needs sleep?" Howl sniffed softly.

Her fur shone in the light. Darkmatter chewed his lip. Out of all the hooligans he'd fought, Howl was the most skilled by a factor of ten. He hated her for a number of reasons, one of which was her ability to compete with him. Lightyear used to be the only person who could keep up with Darkmatter in battle. And then Howl showed up and fucked with everything. She deserved to die…if only he could actually kill her. So why did he want to touch her fur so badly? He didn't have an answer.

Darkmatter waited a full minute before giving into temptation. He pulled his glove off and gently brushed his fingertips against Howl's throat. He might have been touching silk and never known the difference. "Soft" was too simple a word. "Velvety" was overused. For once, Darkmatter was left without an adjective. He stood up and noticed that his leg was bleeding from the injection site.

"Perfect." Darkmatter ordered the hornets to take Howl to Zurg's evil dungeon, took a few minutes to collect himself, and entered Zurg Tower. He opted to fly through the hallways instead of walking, as the wound had begun to bleed more heavily than he was comfortable with.

Zurg was still bitching at his lackeys when Darkmatter entered the main chamber room. He tried to land gracefully on his one foot, which proved no easy task. His injured leg brushed against the floor, sending hot needles up his thigh into his hip.

"Jesus CHRIST!" Darkmatter gasped, pressing his hand to the spot where Howl's tail had hit him. Zurg dropped the brainpod he was throttling and whipped around.

"Darkmatter, what-" Zurg's voice trailed off as his eyes fell on the blood pooling where Darkmatter stood. "Where the hell is that coming from?"

"My leg." Darkmatter bit his lip to keep from screaming. "I got into a bit of a scrap with Howl…she injected me with something."

"Howl?" Zurg shook his head. "I specifically wrote 'highly dangerous' in her report, Darkmatter, not 'a little dangerous' or 'pretty dangerous', but…you did take care of her, right?" Zurg shot Darkmatter a "you'd-damned-well-better-say-yes" look. Darkmatter stared at the floor.

"Well…not exactly."

"Not exactly?" Zurg's eyes glowed. "How can you "not exactly" kill someone, that's what I'd like to know!"

"I shot her point blank in the head, Evil Emperor!" Darkmatter protested.

"You shot her point blank in the head," Zurg repeated.

"Yes."

"And she didn't die?"

"Well, she was dead when I left," Darkmatter explained. "And on my way back here, she showed up on my ship and-"

"Look, it's too late for this now," Zurg said, pressing his fingers against his forehead. "Where is she?"

"She's locked up downstairs."

"In that case, just go to sickbay. You're dripping on the tile." Zurg flicked a speck of dust from his sleeve. "You will explain yourself tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir." Darkmatter opened his wings and left the room as quickly as he could manage. He decided to shoot the first minion he saw if he didn't get a cigarette and a cup of coffee in the next five minutes.

A/N: Barenaked Ladies reference. Yeah.