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Song lyrics at the beginnings of chapters do not belong to me unless noted. They belong to their respectful artists, and I make no claim to them. Again, no money is being made, and no infringement or disrespect to the creators / copyright holders is intended.

Chapter Three

The Letter

"Out on your own,

Cold and alone again.

Can this be what you really wanted, baby?"

-- Lacrymosa (Evanescence)

It was drizzling, and Draco was soaked through to the bone. His teeth chattered uncontrollably as he shook, curling in on himself beneath the umbrella that he had been given by a muggle who had taken pity on him a scant few minutes before.

Clenching his jaw in the vain hopes that his teeth would stop clacking annoyingly together, Draco surveyed the busy street with steely eyes. He had done it - he had left Harry. And now that his heart was aching, he realized that he had nowhere to go. And he could not go back to Harry. He could not burden him in that way.

Draco heaved a sigh, which lead to a deep bought of hacking. He was getting a cold. And the non-stop pouring of rain certainly was not helping matters. He had already been outside for well over five hours now, searching for a place where he could go for minimal prices, with no questions asked.

After having his inheritance cut off and all of his assets frozen until the Ministry could clear the Malfoy name, Draco had relied heavily on Harry. And until now, he had not had a clue as to how much he had used Harry to support himself. He desperately wished that everything had been a dream; that he would wake up in the Slytherin dungeons from a horrible, nasty dream.


It had started out as a nice dream. He and Hermione were appointed Head Students in their seventh year, forcing them to work in tandem to keep the rest of the Hogwarts pupils under control. Although Draco hadn't exactly liked Granger, he knew she was intelligent, and he grudgingly accepted that he had to work with her.

But that didn't mean she had the right to bring her lackwits along with her for the ride! Every time Draco had tried to schedule a meeting with her, both of the other members of the Golden Trio insisted on going with her, no matter where they were meeting.

Draco knew that at first she had tried to make them trust that she could take care of herself, but it hadn't worked, and now both boys were privy to what Draco and Hermione's plans were. That irked Draco to no end.

Harry often found the opportunity to insert his own opinions about their plans, and sometimes went so far as to offer ideas of his own. Although his suggestions weren't always exactly the brightest, with a little polishing from Hermione, they shone, and somehow managed to find their way wormed into their plans of Inter-House Unity.

Although Ron was a prefect, Draco had found that he really didn't care much for the duty - just that he had won something over on Harry. Draco sneered at that. So much for Gryffindor loyalty. And hence, Ron tended to tag along but not pay much attention to what was discussed at such meetings. He was the brawn of the group, apparently; just there to protect Hermione, nothing more, as much as Draco could gather.

Harry had proven to be quite intelligent, which was something that surprised Draco immensely. He had expected Harry and Ron to be equally as dumb. He hadn't expected them to be quite as dumb as Crabbe or Goyle, but he had imagined that they would be close.

So when it turned out that occasionally Harry actually did know what he was talking about, Draco had been forced to pay attention to him. He often found himself staring heatedly at the Gryffindor, rapt with attention as he almost hung on every word the boy spoke.

It wasn't until much later that he realized that perhaps the attention he paid to Harry went a little further than the interest in what he had to say. When he was so completely engrossed with what the boy was saying, he often found his thoughts trailing around in his head. Harry's lips looked lush and soft, eyes smoldering with intensity as he spoke most things on his mind without restraint.

Somehow, Draco found himself actually caring what the Gryffindor thought. Sometimes, he would find himself wondering if Harry would one day laugh with him the way that he laughed so freely with his friends: eyes closed, head thrown back, cute dimple in one cheek, hair looking so silkily soft that Draco could almost feel his hands carding through it if he looked at it hard enough…

Draco Malfoy was absolutely smitten with Harry Potter…

---

Draco sighed in frustration. So much for dreamless sleep. He had dreamed of Harry every second of that night, and when he'd woken up, it had been with an aching erection that demanded attention. He wondered if perhaps he should up the dosage - certainly it was called Dreamless Sleep potion for a reason!

Draco was in a foul mood. Of course, being forced to relive some of the most painful yet best times of your life could do that to a person.

As he prepared his morning coffee, he slammed things around more forcefully than he should have, and as a result, ended up breaking two coffee mugs. With a disgusted sneer, he waved his wand to fix them, but was still hasty and rough with his morning preparations.

He usually wasn't the type of person to eat breakfast, and today was no different. No breakfast was waiting for him, and he never had the time nor the skills to make some for himself. That had always been left to the house elves as he had been growing up, and later to other people - Mrs. Weasley, for example.

Draco grimaced as his stomach grumbled as he finished his coffee. Rolling his eyes, he poured himself another mug and set off for the small second bedroom of his flat that he had turned into an office of sorts. Sitting down in the rolling chair situated in front of a rather expensive-looking computer, he punched the button to turn the machine on, and reclined in the seat as it beeped and the screen turned on.

Sipping dexterously at his coffee, he used his free hand to guide the mouse to the writing program, and clicked the little icon of a folder opening. Choosing one of the many files available, he waited for it to load, and briefly skimmed through the ten-page-long document before he hastily began typing to add on to the end of it.

His fingers zoomed across the keyboard, and he quickly lost track of time as he became more and more engrossed in his work. He barely even noticed the snowy owl that flew in through the window and patiently waited at the corner of his desk for him to finish what he was doing.

Hours later, Draco leaned back in his seat and groaned, scratching his belly softly as he saved the document he had been working on. The owl that had gone unnoticed for so long stretched her wings and hooted softly at Draco, cocking her head to the side in a concerned manor.

Draco looked up at the owl, and his heart broke just a little bit more. "Hedwig…" he murmured, reaching out cautiously to stroke her feathered head.

Hedwig leaned into the gesture, big, luminescent eyes closing in pleasure as she tilted her head for more contact. Draco heaved a heavy sigh and dropped his hand. "I thought I told you not to deliver these, girl," Draco scolded, although the way his eyes lit up betrayed that he really did want to read what Harry had to say this time.

Hedwig straightened and fluttered her wings, shooting Draco a haughty look as it to say, 'you still love him, you twit, and I'm going to make you realize that'. Draco rolled his eyes, lips quirking just a bit as she stretched out her leg to him.

Fingers fumbling, it took Draco longer than it should have to untie the neatly folded parchment from Hedwig's leg, and she was beginning to get impatient. Draco petted her lightly before returning to the letter. By the time he'd retrieved it, Hedwig was shaking slightly with the effort it took for her to stand still for him.

"Good girl," he cooed, kissing two of his fingers and touching her head with them. Hedwig's eyes closed again, and she leaned into his touch, hooting softly to him.

When Draco withdrew his hand, Hedwig's eyes popped open, pleading for a reply this time. Draco shook his head sadly, and Hedwig's eyes flashed momentarily, causing Draco to sigh.

"I'm sorry, girl. Really. But I can't. I can't torture him like that,"

Hedwig cocked her head once more, eyes gleaming with understanding, but still pleading softly with him, begging for something more substantial. It was times like this that Draco regretted not even leaving a note for Harry to assure him that it wasn't his fault that Draco had left. For not professing his love one last time before he had gone.

Hedwig made him feel even more guilty than he had before. With a terse shake of his head, he opened one of the drawers of the desk he was situated at and pulled out some owl treats to give to her. Hedwig accepted them gratefully, clicking her beak in content.

"Not this time, Hedwig. Someday…but not today."

At that, Hedwig ruffled her feathers, flapped her wings, and took off out the still opened window. Draco watched her go, tears gathering in his eyes.