(This isn't beta, so if you love grammer I wouldn't read any further.)

2. Don't do, say, or eat anything that you don't want done, repeated, or thrown back at you. Even when you think they're not listening they are and when you want them to they don't.

"What happened next Momma?" Mally asked. The boy was about to jump out of his skin in anticipation.

Zoë smiled. "If you like me finish…"

"Did you pull out your gun? Did Goddaddy or Monty?" Mally was on his feet now.

"Sit down, Mally." Amina pulled her brother down.

"Let Momma finish." Gabe added in.

Zoë was amazed that her children were able to sit through a whole story without crying, fighting, spitting, or whining. "Ok so me and Monty tie up Brock and your Goddaddy started shaving."

Amina's eyes grew wider. "Shaved what?"

Zoë laughed. "Anywhere he had hair. Brock was one of the hairiest men I've ever knew. When your Goddaddy was finished, man didn't have a lick of hair on his body."

The kids laughed.

Mal popped his head in the doorway to the children's bedroom. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Just telling them about the Lanzhou Job."

Mal laughed. "Did you tell 'em bout the paint and the feathers?"

"They're four sir."

Amina perked up. "There was paint?"

"And feathers?" Mally added.

Mal nodded his head. "Yep, there was paint, feathers, and I do recall someone losing some clothing." Mal turned and looked at Zoë and grinned.

Zoë looked back at Mal and smiled slightly. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about sir?"

"Kaylee found the blueprints, wanna go over them with you for tomorrow."

Gabe crossed his arms and pouted. "Whatta bout our story?"

"I'll finish it later. Why don't you find your Poppa and play a game with him?"

Mal and Zoë were going over the schematics of their next job. When Mally interrupted them.

"Momma how you tie a knot?" Mally held up his sister's jump rope.

Zoë took the rope and began tying it. "Sir if we go in through the side doors I think…."

"Zoë what are you doing?" Mal interrupted.

She raised her eyebrow to question him. "That ain't how you tie a knot."

"I think I know how to tie a knot sir." She responded.

Mal took the rope from her. "You could never tie a proper knot." Mal straighten out the rope. "Now, Goddaddy gonna teach you the proper way to tie a knot. This here is a boa knot, you tie this knot good can't nobody get out of it."

Mally eyes grew two sizes bigger. "Nobody?"

"Yep, unless your Momma ties it." Mal gave Zoë a wicked grin. "See you take the rope…gimme your hands." Mally stretched out his hands. "Ok you take the rope and wrap it around the hands then and bring the working end back over the standing part. Secondly, you wrap it around again going the same way as the first….You got it?" Mally nodded his head. "Shiny. Next you pass the end you're workin' with over the standing part, and then you take it under both riding turn and standing part, make an overhand knot under two riding turns. You wanna make sure that both ends come out between your loops and finally after you work it good and tight you pull the ends to finish." Mal tighten the rope around Mally's hand. Mal untied the rope around Mally's arm.

"Thank you Goddaddy." Mally said as he ran out.

Mal grinned. "Now where were we…?"

A few seconds later Amina came through carrying her paint set. 5 or so minutes later Gabe walked through carrying a razor. Zoë stopped the boy.

"Gabe what are you up to?" Zoë asked taking the razor from him.

"Just playing a game with Poppa." He smiled.

Zoë looked at Mal then back to Gabe. "Uh, huh. What game with your Poppa do you need a razor for?"

"Playing Lanzhou Job."

Mal looked at Zoë and started laughing. "Please tell me..."

They both quickly high tailed it out of the kitchen. They found Wash tied up to a pole in the cargo bay. Amina was just opening her paint. Mal was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. "Look Zoë just like Brock. So which one is gonna get naked?"

Zoë untied her husband.

Wash was under the console working on something when some wires shocked him. "Bèn hóu māma de érzi yī ge biǎozi tuó fēng!" Wash shouted sucking on his finger.

"Wash! Language." Kaylee covered Mally's ears. "Shouldn't cuss in front of the babies. Don't wanna have them sounding like Jayne."

Wash examined his injured finger. "They can barely say ship. I doubt it they can say a highly complicated swear in Chinese."

Kaylee put Mally down on the floor with his brother and sister. "You don't know that. Simon says babies this age are very impressionable."

Wash sat in his chair. "Just because he graduated top 3 and all don't make him a tiāncái yīngér."

Kaylee picked up Wash tools and got under the console. "Well he knows more than you." She mumbled. Kaylee tickered with some things, and the console lit up.

Wash smiled. "But you are a tiāncái when it comes to fixing stuff."

Kaylee pulled herself up. "I know."

Mal and Zoe entered the bridge. "We all ready? Got shipment to make."

"Yep everything shiny, Cap'n."

Mally and Gabe were fighting over a toy on the floor.

"Mine." Gabe screamed.

"No. Mine." Mally retaliated.

Amina jumped in and took the toy. "Mine. Bèn hóu māma de érzi yī ge biǎozi tuó fēng."

Everyone looked at Amina who was sitting on the floor peacefully playing with her toy.

Kaylee turned to Wash. "See told ya."

Wash, Zoë and the children walked in the kitchen. Simon was standing on the stove stirring something.

Wash took a whiff of the kitchen. "Smells…" He paused a moment. "right um…interesting in here doc. Whatcha bur…I mean cooking?"

Simon stirred the pot some more. "Just some leftovers I made into a soup for me and River. There's plenty if you want to fix some for the kids." Simon handed Zoë the spoon.

Reluctantly she took the spoon. "Thanks doc." She smiled wryly.

Zoë attempted to stir Simon's dish, the spoon was sticking to the edge of the pot. She stuck her finger in to taste it. "Fó tuó hé tā de sān ge jiǎo tián māo."

Wash sat the kids in their chairs. "I'm too tired to cook. Can't be that bad."

Zoë arched her eyebrow. "Remember when Gabe lost Fluffyboy?"

"Yeah."

"The smell."

Wash nodded his head.

"Well it taste like that."

Wash walked over to Zoë. "Look the faster we feed 'em the faster we can put them to bed and the faster we can get to Momma and Poppa time." Wash grinned. "My favorite time of the day."

"I'm hungry." Gabe whined.

"Me too." Amina added.

"I'm starving, Poppa." Mally said pouting.

"The boy's starving, Zoë. Can't let our son starve." Wash got out the bowls and plopped Simon's soup in the bowl.

"Soup ain't supposed to plop, Wash."

Wash placed the food in front of the kids. Mally was the first one to dig it. He spat the food out. Amina was next to sample the food. She just let it fall out of her mouth. And Gabe threw it back up. Zoë and Wash just looked at the mess.

"Yep that was definitely faster. I'm going to bed." Zoë kissed her husband on the cheek. "Poppa gonna put you guys to bed tonight."

"I'm still hungry." Gabe whined.

Translations

bèn hóu māma de érzi yī ge biǎozi tuó fēng stupid monkey humping mother of a whore

tiāncái yīngér baby genius

Fó tuó hé tā de sān ge jiǎo tián māo sweet Buddha and his three legged cat