Now, certain people (cough Ellie cough cough) mentioned that they thought there should be less thoughts and emotions and stuff, but really that isn't what the story is about. I know what it is like, to be in a situation vaguely similar to Harry's, and like him, I didn't show any emotion until I was by my self. When it got to the funeral, I couldn't cry, because there were too many other people there. I haven't cried in public since I was about nine, and I imagine Harry to be quite similar in that trait.
What we saw in the last couple of chapters was a teenager trying and failing to be strong once he was alone. He let everything go. That is the point of this story, and the action will probably not increase, but chapter lengths probably will. I have no idea!
Thanks to everyone who had reviewed, and in advance to all those people who will!
"Noooooo!"
Sirius fell
Harry was grabbed from behind
Harry yelled
"Noooooo!"
Sirius fell
Harry was grabbed from behind
Harry yelled
"Noooooo!"
Harry had seen that terrible day over and over again in his dreams. Sirius was falling again and again; Harry never could save him.
Somehow, these nightmares gave him a fresh perspective, a more objective view of the whole event – he watched the events unfold like a muggle film, or a Quidditch match. It happened over and over again, each time beginning once more as Remus restrained Harry-in-the-memory. It occurred to the teen, that it was somewhat like a pensive – he was able to see the memory, but not interfere with it in any shape, way or form.
The first few times, Harry watched in shock, and then he fell to his knees and cried once more. He didn't know that his physical body was reacting in the same way, nor did he realise just how much time was spent 'dreaming'.
When Harry finally accepted that he couldn't change anything that happened to Sirius, he woke up, tears spent and his mind resolute. When Harry came to, he found himself lying on the floor in his room. The letter was by his side, and the pompous looking owl has gone – probably to hunt; it was dark outside. Harry had spent the entire afternoon reminiscing and asleep. No wonder he was so very awake and eager to do something.
He was still terrified about the letter, but he knew he had to get it over and done with as soon as he could bear to.
Harry had no emotion left – he felt nothing as he picked up the thick parchment. The teenager had burnt every emotion away as he mourned for his lost godfather and parents. Even if he had wanted to, he wouldn't have been able to shed another single tear.
It was still left unopened by his side, and so Harry got together every bit of Gryffindor courage he possibly could, and reached for it. He sat on the floor, mindful of his aching knees – they still hurt from falling, due to the … panic attack? His fingers shock, and he could hear his blood pumping in his ears. Still, he opened the letter.
Dear Mr Potter,
………………………………
tee hee! A bit of suspence. Will Harry be expelled or not? Only time will tell – for you (I already know…). Reviews might help me decide to post quicker, but if not … see you in a week or so.
sorry about the lateness, but i wrote the next few chapters on paper, and then lost them - this isnt the original, that was longer ...