I am finally in Vermont. I am currently living in the doorms and classes begin on Monday. Wish me luck.

Chapter 3: My Tears Flowed Freely

Have you ever been ashamed? You did something that at the time, you were not sure whether or not it was good or bad, but now you are hiding it from the one you care about most. Now you wish you could have changed it, even though you know you would not have made it through that time in your life without it. Because of that, you embrace what happened. It is hard to let go and accept what has happened, but living a lie is not always a solution to be followed. Especially when the love of your life will find out. How long should you wait to tell them? Or should you let them find out on their own? What if you waited too long, and it destroyed everything you knew?

-From the Diary of Son, Pan

We both arrived at my home within a few minutes, and I fished into my pocket for the key. Once the front door was open, niether of us hesitated as we both walked in and continued forward, both having a different image of what what was to come. We approached the stairs and, quickly assended each one, hearts racing a little more with each step. I knew it would not go all the way with Trunks, but he did not know that. Perhaps if I had told him sooner, things would not have been so complicated.

He reached out for my hand and as I felt our hands melt together perfectly, a shiver run down my spine. I don't know if it was a shiver from passion, fear, lust, angst, or guilt, but I do know that it was there. He quickly lead me to my bedroom as the guilt began to pour over me in waves as I knew I was leading him on. I was not going to sleep with him, he had every intension of being inside of me tonight, that much I could tell from the growing bulge that was becoming quite apparent. I knew all of this, and yet I did nothing nor said anything to stop him. I let it continue far beyond what it should have, and I suddenly found my voice to be missing.

Once we were in the room, and the door was closed, Trunks wasted no time. He put his arms around me and brought his head down, massaging my lips with his own. He lead me towards the bed where I felt my knees hit the edge and I fell back with Trunks landing on top of me. He was really into it tonight. He had been for many nights and my fear was that he would leave me for someone more 'out-going'. I loved him more than anything in this world, but I was afraid to loose him.

I knew that he had been holding back for me these two years, and I had been ready from the very beginning. But there were some secrets that needed to come out first.

I should have told him from the very beginning, but I just couldn't do it. Fear held me back from doing what I should have done, and even now, fear stopped me from giving myself over to Trunks. For two years I harbored this pain with the expectation that he would never forgive me for keeping it from him. I didn't want to cause so much controversy over it. I knew that it would. I wanted to wait to tell him at the right time, but every time it came around, a lump would form in my throat and no words would come. I knew that the longer I waited, the worse it would be, and now I was more afraid because of the time I spent trying to avoid it then how he would react to it. It's been too long now, and I know I should have told him before.

His lips were on fire as his tongue ravished my body. I coul feel him invading every pore of my body.

This wasn't right.

His hand was up my shirt massaging my breast. My moans becoming louder with each passing moment.

I had to tell him.

His other hand ran down to caress me through my clothes. I wanted him to touch me, and yet I wanted this to stop.

Don't keep this from him anymore.

His fingers felt as if they were in every place at once. I needed release.

He deserves to know the truth.

My shirt was already across the floor. I wanted this more than anything.

Tell him!

His lips were on my breast, sucking even through the bra, making an unbearable itch begin to build at the center that he still continued to rub.

"Stop this!"

Trunks and I jumped apart as the scream split the air and I had to catch my breath. Had I been the one to speak? I wasn't the one to scream, was I? I looked over to Trunks who seemed rather red in the face and that was when I heard him again.

"What the hell do you two think you are dong?" he continued to scream. I looked towards the source of the noise to find my uncle standing in the doorway looking furious. I knew instantly what was going to happen had he not interupted the two of us at that moment. Trunks would have found out, and he would have asked questions.

"I think it is time that you go home Trunks," my uncle said glaring daggers into his skull.

"Yeah, I guess I should be going then." Before leaving however, Trunks simply turned to me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before running out of the room and away from a potential murder suspect.

After I heard the front door slam, I walked across the room to grab the shirt that had previously been thrown. Putting it back on, I sighed and turned to Goten, not able to look him in the eyes. I knew he was dissapointed in me. I didn't want to see that. I didn't want to know that I had let down another person in my life. He had been my one supporter in everything I did. He stood by me and helped me through everything. We shared the same happiness, and he also carried the same burdens. Mainly one that kept both of us up on those sleepless nights.

We stood in silence for what seemed like hours, but it was only a few minutes. It was his voice that broke the silence.

"I thought you learned your lesson." Tears began to make their way to the edges of my eyes, but at the moment I refused to let them fall.

"I did. Trunks and I weren't going to do anything," I tried to lie to myself.

"Yeah, that was very apparent. That's why he was undressing you," Goten said rolling his eyes.

"Nothing was going to happen," I kept reasoning.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

I waited a moment, thinking of some way out of my situation, but nothing came. "No, I don't expect you to believe it."

He sighed as he walked over and sat on my bed. The bed that only minutes before Trunks and I were coming dangerously close to making love. I had nothing to say. Nothing I could do. The longer we sat there in the deadened silence the harder I found it to look my beloved uncle in the face. I knew what was on his mind. I kenw what he was thinking and I kenw he was hurt. The decision he made for me years ago still haunted both of us. There was no escaping the painful memories. I had been sitting in that room years ago, waiting for my name to be called, my heart in pain. Neither of us had wanted to do what was done, but I had no choice, and he felt as if he had none. It was the worst decision of my life, but if my parens had found out, then they too would have forced me to do it. So I did it anyways. The nightmares have haunted both of us ever since. What we feared most was history repeating itself.

"Does he know?"

"No."

My tears flowed freely.

Thank you everyone for reading. I would really like some reviews right about now. Let me know what you think about the story so far. Yes, Pan has another secret. Just wait until you find out what it is.