This chapter is dedicated to TexasBabyBoo because she is the only one that mentioned me being in college. Thank you! I feel so accomplished.

Chapter 4: What the Hell is it?

Have you ever had a nightmare come true? It can be scary when it does and you don't know what to do. In your dreams you always have the satisfaction of knowing it is not real and you can make it go away. It is much different in real life. You can not run and it can not change in a matter of moments. That is why it is better to dream the nightmares than to live them. It is the nightmares that keep a person up at night. The fear of meeting an unknown image in your head that will not go away does not recede. Sometimes however, reality becomes the nightmare. Sometimes it is reality that causes you to lose sleep. Sometimes it is reality that haunts your dreams. Some people dream to escape reality, while others stay awake to escape the nightmare. Sometimes, there is something that you can not escape, in reality or your dreams.

-From the Diary of Son, Pan

"I thought you were out with Paris tonight," I said looking over to my uncle who was sitting next to me on my bed. He had spent the last half hour comforting me, coming close to crying himself. We were the only ones who carried the heavy burden, but it was what we had to do.

"I decided to come home early." That meant they had another fight. As always, he would come home on such an occasion.

"I'm glad you did. I don't know what I would have done had you not." The memories of coming so close to sleeping with Trunks were a rush and I just could not take it. "I have to tell him soon though," I said, knowing that it was the right thing to do, but also knowing that I did not have the strength to do so.

"Are you sure that is what you should do? You don't have to tell him," Goten said with doubt.

"I can't keep it from him forever. It's tearing me up inside, and I know that it is doing the same to you. I need to tell someone. I feel like I am going to explode if I don't."

"That is why I am here. We did it together, and I've been here for you. You know that you can always come and talk to me about it," he tried to reassure me.

"I know Uncle Goten, but I also need someone else. It will kill me to keep something like that from him. It's only been two years and I feel like killing myself over it. I couldn't keep it from him the rest of my life."

"Then just tell him some of it. You can't keep everything from him the rest of your life, but don't tell him everything. He doesn't need to know. And if he found out, someone else might as well," he sighed, so sure of what he was saying. "This is the way things have to be. It is what you chose to do."

"No!" I screamed. "It's what you chose to do." I stood up and turned to look at him. "I didn't have a choice. You made the decision for me. You didn't even give me a chance." I felt as if I was going to cry again, but I wouldn't. I had cried too many times over this. "I love Trunks, and he deserves to know the truth."

"So how are you going to tell him then? Just coming out and saying it won't exactly work. Tell him you've been keeping it from him for two years isn't going to help."

"I don't know how I am going to tell him, but I will definitely tell him next time I see him."

"Pan, he isn't going to understand. Trust me, I know what guys are like."

"He will understand!" I said, my rage building more with each passing moment. I stormed out of my own room. I went to the library where I could find some peace and quiet. I needed to think. How was I going to tell Trunks? Telling him was something that needed to be done. I owed him that much as least.

Thank you all for reviewing. Here's the deal, if I get 10 reviews, I'll update in a week. Any less and you guys will have to suffer until I feel like updating again.

radames- Sorry, you just have to wait like everyone else to find out. I'm glad that you like it though.

Poison-Spider- Sorry I didn't update quickly, but her secret is that one thing about the thing with that thing. You know what thing I'm talking about. I thought you did. Just don't tell anyone. It's a secret.

Nevaeh Azalea- I'm glad you like the story, and yeah, my chapters are starting to get a little bit longer. Not much, but just a tad bit.

BRITTONY- I'm glad you liked LTTLG. This story probably isn't going to be as long, because I'm not going to have as many fillers and I won't be carrying it like I was with LTTLG, but I'm still expecting it to be good.

CrAzY-Fan-Fic-Addict- You are like, one of my most loyal reviewers. I would like to thank you for that. Really, it's so great that you love my stories that much.Yeah, I'm kinda wandering what the new secret is too. I hope the author tells us soon. lol

Forgotten Beauty- My other loyal reviewer. I love you too much. I'm not exactly sure you meant you don't like where the story is going, or you don't like where there secret is going. But trust me, the story is going to be good. At least I hope so. Umm... the secret isn't really going to be the main focus of the story, but one of them. I thought it would be great to get it out there and cause some angst as I love to do. I do hope to have some fun with it though. But there will be plenty more to the story then just her secret. I just wish I could come up with that whole part of the story.

sonpan- Sorry I didn't update soon enough, but I hope you liked this chapter just as much.

TexasBabyBoo- College is going great for me. I'm loving it. You are the only one that mentioned it. Thank you so much. I'm being forced to write so much that I've been having the feeling to write a lot of fanfics, so I wrote this chapter. Actually, it was your review that made me write the chapter. I always get a few reviews and then a month later or something I'll get one more and I'll be all like, "That's write I feel like writing again." So I'll go and write another chapter, post it, and the cycle will begin again. Yeah, so thanks for reviewing. I wrote this chapter in like, thirty minutes because I got your review.