Title: ARR! (#003)
Author: Red and Blue
Characters/Pairings: -
Word Count: 628
Summary: In which Echizen contemplates the key members of the crew.
Author's Notes (Red): Shorter than usual, yes. But the style's rather different from the rest of the story, and I felt it best to have it in a separate chapter. Personally, this is my favourite bit out of all that we've written so far.

The ship, Ryoma concluded grimly, was a poorly disguised mental institution. With the possible exception of Momoshiro, Seigaku's weaponmaster-slash-gunner and all-round typical boisterous young male, the entire crew had to be on something.

Kawamura Takashi, for one, was a more than excellent cook. Ryoma's first impression of him was that Taka-san was a rather mild-mannered nice guy who would readily feed any hungry crew member that came knocking at his door -- and it was good food, worthy to be served at the tale of a fancy restaurant. However, the moment one placed a kitchen utensil into his hands, he would undergo a complete transformation which everyone called his BURNING mode. Random shouts such as "GREAT-O!" and "I'M BURNING!" or "COME ON, BABY!" resounded through the Seigaku everytime this happened, and Echizen pitied anyone who was in the way of the knife-slinging cook.

All this had to be the fault of Sadaharu Inui. Ryoma was fairly certain that the ship's doctor was not only on drugs himself, but he was also the mastermind behind the eccentric behaviour of the crew. Eerily reminiscent of a crazed scientist, Inui spent most of his time experimenting, inventing various concoctions that somehow never resembled anything remotely drinkable. Ryoma shuddered, remembering a sickly green liquid that was murky and bubbled away merrily. It smelled like rotting sardines.

The unfortunate victim of most of Inui's experiments was none other than Kaidoh Kaoru, whom Inui had adopted as a little mentee of sorts. Kaidoh was the carpenter, and he possessed amazing stamina. What defined him as a part of Seigaku's unstable crew was the hissing noise he liked to make, and his dour, almost frightening demeanour. He was an odd, loner sort of character, but Ryoma thought he saw Kaidoh petting Karupin rather fondly.

If Kaidoh was scary and antisocial, then Kikumaru Eiji the sailsmaster was plain disturbing and terrifying. It wasn't that he was sullen (Ryoma might actually have preferred that), he was just so… gay. Happy or otherwise. When he wasn't flipping up and down the ratlines and masts like an acrobatically gifted monkey, he was noticeably inseparable from the first mate, Oishi Shuichiro.

Oishi would have been normal -- if he weren't so motherly. As satisfying as it had been to hear Fuji get a dressing-down on appropriate behaviour to younger shipmates (especially cabin boys), it had also been a little strange. Especially with Kikumaru constantly bouncing around shouting "Nyaaa!" and making knowing faces and suggestive comments.

Frankly, the only other member of the crew who acted like a normal member of their species was Karupin -- most of the time at least. Ryoma was still doubtful of any being who could make Kaidoh Kaoru wave a battered felt mouse in front of him and make soft cooing noises. (Interspersed with hisses, of course.)

Still, within four days, Ryoma found himself disturbingly at home on Seigaku. He knew not to go to Inui's cabin. He'd found that the safest was to ask Kawamura for food was from a distance, preferably out of sight. He'd discovered the wisdom in staying away from Fuji after the sun set. He'd even mastered a pleasant face which he wore everytime Oishi lectured him ("You're too small! Here, drink this milk, Inui says it'll make you grow."), and had built up some kind of immunity of Kikumaru's hyperactivity and tendency to glomp him. Kaidoh left him alone if he returned the favour, and Momoshiro was good company even if he was noisy.

Only Tezuka remained elusive and mysterious. Even when they duelled as practice using blunt wooden swords the crew kept for that purpose, Ryoma never managed to feel as though he'd permeated the veil of mystery that surrounded Tezuka and, perhaps, made the man.

Nonetheless, Ryoma was oddly content…

Originally posted: 01/01/2007
Last modified: 30/01/2007