Chapter 10

On the way to the airport, neither of us said anything, he just held my hand and stared at me every chance he got. The same goes for the plane ride. When the plane finally touched down, I didn't want to get off. I just wanted to spend time with Jeff. We finally got to the hotel in some city in Iowa. Jeff asked it I was hungry and I told him that all I wanted to do was just go and relax in my room. Jeff said that he had to go to the arena and talk to some press people, but that he would come by later that night with some take out and movies for us. I had just gotten into the hotel room and started to unpack when the doorbell rang. 'Jesus, I haven't even unpacked yet and this is already starting' I thought to myself. I opened the door only to see a box on the floor…a very large box. I took the box inside and I could swear that I thought I felt the box move, but I wasn't sure. I put the box down and read the note attached to it:

"I never wanted anybody more than I've wanted you. They only other thing I've ever known was solitude. Now you're here, in this world to change that for me. All I need to make it real is one more reason.

Love your,

Secret admirer"

This time I knew it was from Jeff because those words were from a song by slipknot. I had told him, that song, was my favorite. I had started to space out and think about Jeff when I heard the box bark! I thought I was hearing things but just to be sure I opened the box. Low and behold inside the box was a baby harlequin Great Dane puppy. I picked up the puppy, which started to lick my face relentlessly, when I noticed a note on his collar:

"Hi! My name is Malachi…just like you always wanted. I know you know who sent me and he wants you to take me to the store and buy me lots of stuff. There's a car waiting outside for you."

I took the puppy to the lobby of the hotel and looked outside and there was Jeff waiting for me in his car. I jumped in the car and gave him the most passionate kiss I was able to give.

"You're welcome." Jeff said smiling.

We arrived at the local Petco, got Malachi's leash on and went into the store.

"Now Savannah…you go and get anything you want. Don't be shy…again nothing is too good for my Savannah."

"Jeff you know you don't have to call me Savannah you can just call me Savvy… everyone else does it's cool with me…"

"But I like to say your whole name Savannah. It's such a beautiful name."

"I was named after a soap opera character. I used to hate my name." I said I looked at various leashes and collared. "Oh I like this one." I said pointing to a black leather spiked collar.

"Well if you like it then get is Savannah. Get anything you want."

"Ok but I warn you…once I get going it's hard to get me stop shopping.""Well then maybe I'll have to take you shopping for yourself too.""I would like that" I said while giving Jeff a kiss. "I really appreciate everything Jeff, I'll pay you back one day."

"Don't worry about it Savannah…you don't owe me anything. I just want you to be happy.""But Jeff…"

"Nope I won't hear of it Savannah…now go and go shopping for your new puppy."

"Ok fine if you're gonna force me." I said sarcastically. Jeff just laughed.

I ended up spending a lot if Jeff's money. I felt bad, so I offered some money towards it, but Jeff wouldn't hear of it. So we made a deal. He would pay for all of the dog's stuff on the condition that we would go to a dog park and we would have a nice lunch. I ended up getting a nice black leather spiked collar and a leash to match. We got tons of dog food, a little carrier for him that I could use while he was still a puppy. We also got a travel crate to put him in while we were on the planes. I got a few sweaters to put him if he got cold, and tons of doggie toys. We also go a really cool tag to put on his collar. It was a black metal tag with fire on it. It had his name and my cell phone on it, just in case I lost him. While I was putting the tag on his new collar, I though about how I should take him to the vet.

"Hey Jeff?"

"Yea sweet-face?"

I smiled. " I should take him to the vet to get him his shots and get him on heartworm pills."

"Yea well we can go and have some lunch and let Malachi play with some other dogs and then I'll call and make the appointment."

"Thanks Jeff you're the best."

"I know." he said smirking

We went to a local subway and got some sandwiches and went to a really nice dog park. I let Malachi off his leash and Jeff and I sat down at a picnic table. We started to eat then Jeff put his sandwich down and looked at me.

"What's wrong Jeff? Not hungry?"

"Savannah, what's going on with us?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well one day you tell me that you can't have a relationship, then the next thing I know I'm kissing you in your bathroom. I just want to know how you feel about me."

"Jeff like I told you… I think that you're a really great guy…but I really can't have anything serious right now. Like I told you… I'm not saying no, I'm saying not right now."

"Savannah I don't know if I can deal with that… I really want to be with you and I really want to have something serious with you."

"Jeff I really don't know what you want me to say to you. I know what I need to do and this…studying…is what I have to do right now. I appreciate everything you've done for me but I really don't need any of this."

"Savannah I want you to tell me that you want me, want to be with me and tell me you need me."

"Jeff I'm not going to lie…I do want you but I really don't need you. I need to keep my promise to my brother."

"Fine…I understand…"

"But Jeff…"

"No it's cool I understand… I'll call a vet."

"Jeff please…"

But he ignored me. "We can go over to the vet now if you want."

"That's fine but Jeff please listen to me…"

"Listen Savannah…I just don't understand you sometimes. I try to offer you a life of security and happiness and you just turn me down flat. I just don't understand how you wouldn't want to be with someone who loves you with all he has…with someone who wants to give you the world and everything in it and make you happy for the rest of your life. But that's fine I understand if you don't want it and that's fine with me." Jeff said as he put Malachi's leash on and got him into the car. We drove to the vet's office in silence. When they called my name I asked if Jeff wanted to come in… but he said no.

While I was waiting for the vet to come in I sat and thought. I thought about what I want in life and what I need to do in order to make those things happen. And with those thought in my head…I made a very hard decision, probably one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.

One that would change the life of everyone around me…including myself