Disclaimer: Plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to someone else, I
don't claim it, blah, blah, blah.
A/N: Thanks for the response to the first chapter! I love reading positive feedback.
Summary: On the night of the third ball, everything went according to plan. She plans to forget Char and go on living with her curse as a maid in Dame Olga's house. But first loves always die hard.
~~~~~
~ Call it a Gift
~ By Blackberry Ink
~ Chapter One: Can't Turn It Around
~~~~~
So we burned all our uniforms
And let nature take its course again
And the big ones just eat all the little ones
That sent us back to the drawing board.
In our darkest hours
We have all asked for some
Angel to come
Sprinkle his dust all around
But all our crying voices they can't turn it around
And you've had some crazy conversations of your own.
- The Shins – So Says I
~~~~~
A week later and it was no better. I was a wreck, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I cried while I swept, I cried while I scrubbed, I cried while I dried dishes, I cried while I mixed white cake for Olive. Mandy did her best to console me. She came in every night and hugged me and I held on to her for dear life, because she was my only anchor now. She was the only person left in the world that I had to hold on to.
Sometimes I longed for Areida, sometimes I longed for my mother, sometimes I even longed for my father, because he would relieve me of work. But mostly I longed for Char.
I wondered if he thought of me as much as I thought of him. Even if he did I knew that any thoughts of me would soon fade. He would meet a pretty girl and fall in love with her and give up his idea not to marry. He would forget about me. I was nothing to him anymore. He thought I had betrayed him.
At night, or whenever I had a free moment, I would run to my room and open my magic book, going through every page for anything to do with him. Once I was lucky, and I found a short note to one of his knights, telling the knight that he would ride out to meet him on the road shortly. I spent the rest of the night tracing his letters until I fell asleep.
He was the last thing I thought of before I went to sleep, and I dreamt of him every night. I would wake up content; happy in my dream- world where we were happy together and completely satisfied. Then I would hear the bird's chirping outside, or a harsh knock at the door from Olive, asking me to talk to her, and I would tear up at the thought of living without him.
I wondered if I would ever get used to this.
"All wounds heal in time, Lady," Mandy said, rubbing my back gently.
"Not this one," I murmured, sitting still in her arms.
"I know it seems that way, now, Lady, but time will make it better."
"Don't call me Lady," I muttered distractedly. I disliked how she'd taken to calling me her old name for my mother.
Olive was now a regular visitor to the kitchens. I'd begun to keep a jog of water by my side at all times, because she was prone to coming in at any moment and I'd need it for my dry throat. I began to dread three words.
"Talk to me."
"What would you like me to talk about?"
"Anything. Tell me how pretty I am."
"You're as pretty as fresh excrements from a cow after being out in the winter air for an hour," I said. I doubted she knew what 'excrements' meant, so I felt it a safe word to use. I was proven right when she smirked gleefully at me.
"Tell me how much money I have."
"Much more than I do."
"Tell me how much money I'm going to have when I'm Hattie's age."
"Thousands of gold KJs. More than I could ever dream of."
"Tell me how many times I danced with the Prince."
I faltered. I hadn't wept all day, and I'd hoped I'd be able to abstain from doing so today. But the curse was making my stomach churn, so I answered.
"Seven," I said in a choked voice. "Seven times in three nights."
She smiled beatifically.
"Tighter, Ella," Hattie told me as I pulled at the laces of her corset. "I expect Charmont will be coming to call on me any day now. It was clear that I charmed him at the ball."
"Did you?" I said brusquely, pulling the corset as tight as possible. I wondered if I could suffocate her.
"Yes, but it was expected. I told you from the first night that he was clearly taken with me."
"Of course," I said, voice a monotone. "Anyone would be taken by your radiating beauty."
"Well, Charmont was a little more difficult to woo than most men," she said. No one called him Charmont. She didn't know him. She didn't love him. He didn't love her. He loved me.
Or, at least he used to.
I excused myself as quickly as I could and promptly burst into tears upon exiting Hattie's room.
~~~~~
Another few weeks went by in this vein. The days blended into each other until my memory could barely tell them apart. Soon, though, the crying lessened. The physical signs of my grief began to minimize, but the pain I felt was still there. I doubted it would ever leave.
My father came back from his trading trip, laden with gifts. Upon his arrival, he took Dame Olga in his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. I turned away at the disgusting sight. They whispered sweet nothings to each other all during dinner until even Olive looked as revolted as I. Father looked relieved to be in her presence again, but I doubted if he would act that was if not for the curse Lucinda had placed upon him.
Dame Olga had given me one of my old diner dresses to wear in his company, presumably to keep him from knowing about my servitude. I had evaded her and Hattie all day to keep her from issuing a command that wouldn't allow me to talk to Father, and it wasn't until late that evening that I was able to speak with him.
"Hello, daughter," he said to me. He beckoned me to him and gave me a kiss on the cheek, purely for ceremonial purposes.
"Hello, Father," I returned, sitting in a chair opposite him.
He sat forward in his seat. "I assume you got my letter."
I nodded. "I admit I was disappointed."
"You know I could not return home. Gaining back the money I lost is more important than your discomfort. You know that, Eleanor."
"My name is Ella," I reminded him.
"Ella is a child's name. You are a young woman now," he said.
"But I am not treated as such. I was made to clean my own fireplace at a guest dinner and scrub the floor until my hands and knees bled, Father. I will not be made a servant in my own home. Will you not do something to stop that?"
"I can't be all that bad. Olga, my love, would not do that do a daughter."
I raised my eyebrows. "Wouldn't she?"
Father chucked. "She might. But always know that you will be relieved of the duties she gives you when I come home."
When you come home? I thought. You are not home often enough for if to be much relief to me. I laughed to myself. How strange, the day when I my father's attendance at home was a benefit for me.
"I leave again in two days. I trust you will find a way to get through the days while I am gone. Perhaps I will even find a good suitor for you."
A suitor. Perhaps my earlier suspicions would become reality. Perhaps I would become the girl I had described myself as in my letter to Char.
~~~~~
"Ella, pass me that bowl," Mandy ordered. I was helping her in the kitchen to cook tonight's dinner. It was his last meal here, for a while at least, and Dame Olga had insisted it be "extra special" and her demand gave be no choice but to comply. I gave Mandy the bowl without complaint, but only because I wasn't in the mood for my usual game.
"Something wrong, sweet?" She handed me the bowl. "Stir."
I picked up a spoon and stirred as asked. "Not besides the obvious," I said quietly, not looking at her.
Mandy, a reassuring smile on her face, came next to me and put a motherly arm around my waist. "Oh, Lady," she murmured.
For some reason, just these two words comforted me. We stood like that for a while, cooking my Father's dinner and not saying a word. I was glad for her presence.
I left the kitchen three quarters of an hour before it was to be served so that I could get ready. I put on my plainest dinner gown (An old one of mine, on loan from Dame Olga) quickly and brushed out my hair, tying it half up with some ribbon. Then I sat on my bed and took out my magic book.
I skipped quickly through several illustrations of lands in Frell, fairy tales, and a map of Kyrria. They were of no importance to me. My face brightened considerably when I spotted a familiar face about halfway through the book. It was Char, and he looked to be in his bedroom in the castle. I couldn't resist bringing the picture to my lips and kissing his likeness, silly as I felt. I spent a moment gazing at him, then looked to the back adjacent his picture and found a letter.
Dear Bertram,
My father has consented to allowing me to join you. My
clothes are being packed as I write, and I calculate you
and the rest of the men to be about two days' hard riding
away from Frell, so I expect that I will meet you in three.
I ride with Stephan. While awaiting my arrival, have the
company hunt enough provisions to as long as possible; I
anticipate our trip will take longer than originally
estimated.
He wrote several lines more, all business. I'd never heard him talk this way before, but it reminded of me something Sir Stephan had said on our journey to the giants' months ago.
"In the weeks he's spent with us he's never laughed as much as he did in the hour with you. He's too serious for someone that young."
I smiled, remembering the times where I had caused his joy rather than his pain. Then I remembered that this pain was small compared to the pain he would have felt had I told him I loved him. My smile waned.
"Dinner's served!" I heard the cry from down at the beginning of the servant's hall. With one last look at Char's picture, I whispered to spine of my book to save it, then stowed it away in my trunk again and rushed out to the dining room. Father would not be please I was late.
~~~~~
"Oh, my love!" Dame Olga's wrenching sobs echoed in my ears the following morning. It was too early for this.
"Don't worry, my heart," my father said. "I will return as soon as I can. And I will have even more money."
"Oh, Sir P, I don't care about the money-" She paused, reconsidering her statement. She sniffed, smoothed out her dress. "You must hurry back."
"Of course I will. And I will miss you terribly."
"And I you."
It was more revolting than ever.
"Quite the couple, aren't they?" Nancy, a friendly maid, whispered to me. I chuckled as my father came over to me.
"Eleanor," he said, kissing my cheek again. I hoped that wasn't going to turn into a habit. "I will miss you as well."
"That was almost convincing," I said sweetly.
He pretended not to hear. "I will return with a good, rich suitor for you. You will be happy."
"I'm sure of it."
"I trust you will last through whatever treatment you receive in this household. It won't last for long."
"Thank you," I said. "I'll hold you to that."
He forced a smile. "Good bye, daughter."
He got into his carriage, and as it pulled out, Dame Olga was the only one waving him off.
~~~~~
A/N: Thanks to Lady Bee, babyjayy, CattyFr, Turwen, blue-la-shoo, anonymous, and Attic for reviewing the prologue. It means a lot to me. :)
blue-la-shoo: I'm so glad you like Char! He's probably my favorite character to write.
CattyFr: Thanks again for catching my type-o.
Next chapter: Hopefully will be slightly longer. Includes three letters, two visitors, and one unexpected arrival. I'll try to get it out by this weekend.
A/N: Thanks for the response to the first chapter! I love reading positive feedback.
Summary: On the night of the third ball, everything went according to plan. She plans to forget Char and go on living with her curse as a maid in Dame Olga's house. But first loves always die hard.
~~~~~
~ Call it a Gift
~ By Blackberry Ink
~ Chapter One: Can't Turn It Around
~~~~~
So we burned all our uniforms
And let nature take its course again
And the big ones just eat all the little ones
That sent us back to the drawing board.
In our darkest hours
We have all asked for some
Angel to come
Sprinkle his dust all around
But all our crying voices they can't turn it around
And you've had some crazy conversations of your own.
- The Shins – So Says I
~~~~~
A week later and it was no better. I was a wreck, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I cried while I swept, I cried while I scrubbed, I cried while I dried dishes, I cried while I mixed white cake for Olive. Mandy did her best to console me. She came in every night and hugged me and I held on to her for dear life, because she was my only anchor now. She was the only person left in the world that I had to hold on to.
Sometimes I longed for Areida, sometimes I longed for my mother, sometimes I even longed for my father, because he would relieve me of work. But mostly I longed for Char.
I wondered if he thought of me as much as I thought of him. Even if he did I knew that any thoughts of me would soon fade. He would meet a pretty girl and fall in love with her and give up his idea not to marry. He would forget about me. I was nothing to him anymore. He thought I had betrayed him.
At night, or whenever I had a free moment, I would run to my room and open my magic book, going through every page for anything to do with him. Once I was lucky, and I found a short note to one of his knights, telling the knight that he would ride out to meet him on the road shortly. I spent the rest of the night tracing his letters until I fell asleep.
He was the last thing I thought of before I went to sleep, and I dreamt of him every night. I would wake up content; happy in my dream- world where we were happy together and completely satisfied. Then I would hear the bird's chirping outside, or a harsh knock at the door from Olive, asking me to talk to her, and I would tear up at the thought of living without him.
I wondered if I would ever get used to this.
"All wounds heal in time, Lady," Mandy said, rubbing my back gently.
"Not this one," I murmured, sitting still in her arms.
"I know it seems that way, now, Lady, but time will make it better."
"Don't call me Lady," I muttered distractedly. I disliked how she'd taken to calling me her old name for my mother.
Olive was now a regular visitor to the kitchens. I'd begun to keep a jog of water by my side at all times, because she was prone to coming in at any moment and I'd need it for my dry throat. I began to dread three words.
"Talk to me."
"What would you like me to talk about?"
"Anything. Tell me how pretty I am."
"You're as pretty as fresh excrements from a cow after being out in the winter air for an hour," I said. I doubted she knew what 'excrements' meant, so I felt it a safe word to use. I was proven right when she smirked gleefully at me.
"Tell me how much money I have."
"Much more than I do."
"Tell me how much money I'm going to have when I'm Hattie's age."
"Thousands of gold KJs. More than I could ever dream of."
"Tell me how many times I danced with the Prince."
I faltered. I hadn't wept all day, and I'd hoped I'd be able to abstain from doing so today. But the curse was making my stomach churn, so I answered.
"Seven," I said in a choked voice. "Seven times in three nights."
She smiled beatifically.
"Tighter, Ella," Hattie told me as I pulled at the laces of her corset. "I expect Charmont will be coming to call on me any day now. It was clear that I charmed him at the ball."
"Did you?" I said brusquely, pulling the corset as tight as possible. I wondered if I could suffocate her.
"Yes, but it was expected. I told you from the first night that he was clearly taken with me."
"Of course," I said, voice a monotone. "Anyone would be taken by your radiating beauty."
"Well, Charmont was a little more difficult to woo than most men," she said. No one called him Charmont. She didn't know him. She didn't love him. He didn't love her. He loved me.
Or, at least he used to.
I excused myself as quickly as I could and promptly burst into tears upon exiting Hattie's room.
~~~~~
Another few weeks went by in this vein. The days blended into each other until my memory could barely tell them apart. Soon, though, the crying lessened. The physical signs of my grief began to minimize, but the pain I felt was still there. I doubted it would ever leave.
My father came back from his trading trip, laden with gifts. Upon his arrival, he took Dame Olga in his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. I turned away at the disgusting sight. They whispered sweet nothings to each other all during dinner until even Olive looked as revolted as I. Father looked relieved to be in her presence again, but I doubted if he would act that was if not for the curse Lucinda had placed upon him.
Dame Olga had given me one of my old diner dresses to wear in his company, presumably to keep him from knowing about my servitude. I had evaded her and Hattie all day to keep her from issuing a command that wouldn't allow me to talk to Father, and it wasn't until late that evening that I was able to speak with him.
"Hello, daughter," he said to me. He beckoned me to him and gave me a kiss on the cheek, purely for ceremonial purposes.
"Hello, Father," I returned, sitting in a chair opposite him.
He sat forward in his seat. "I assume you got my letter."
I nodded. "I admit I was disappointed."
"You know I could not return home. Gaining back the money I lost is more important than your discomfort. You know that, Eleanor."
"My name is Ella," I reminded him.
"Ella is a child's name. You are a young woman now," he said.
"But I am not treated as such. I was made to clean my own fireplace at a guest dinner and scrub the floor until my hands and knees bled, Father. I will not be made a servant in my own home. Will you not do something to stop that?"
"I can't be all that bad. Olga, my love, would not do that do a daughter."
I raised my eyebrows. "Wouldn't she?"
Father chucked. "She might. But always know that you will be relieved of the duties she gives you when I come home."
When you come home? I thought. You are not home often enough for if to be much relief to me. I laughed to myself. How strange, the day when I my father's attendance at home was a benefit for me.
"I leave again in two days. I trust you will find a way to get through the days while I am gone. Perhaps I will even find a good suitor for you."
A suitor. Perhaps my earlier suspicions would become reality. Perhaps I would become the girl I had described myself as in my letter to Char.
~~~~~
"Ella, pass me that bowl," Mandy ordered. I was helping her in the kitchen to cook tonight's dinner. It was his last meal here, for a while at least, and Dame Olga had insisted it be "extra special" and her demand gave be no choice but to comply. I gave Mandy the bowl without complaint, but only because I wasn't in the mood for my usual game.
"Something wrong, sweet?" She handed me the bowl. "Stir."
I picked up a spoon and stirred as asked. "Not besides the obvious," I said quietly, not looking at her.
Mandy, a reassuring smile on her face, came next to me and put a motherly arm around my waist. "Oh, Lady," she murmured.
For some reason, just these two words comforted me. We stood like that for a while, cooking my Father's dinner and not saying a word. I was glad for her presence.
I left the kitchen three quarters of an hour before it was to be served so that I could get ready. I put on my plainest dinner gown (An old one of mine, on loan from Dame Olga) quickly and brushed out my hair, tying it half up with some ribbon. Then I sat on my bed and took out my magic book.
I skipped quickly through several illustrations of lands in Frell, fairy tales, and a map of Kyrria. They were of no importance to me. My face brightened considerably when I spotted a familiar face about halfway through the book. It was Char, and he looked to be in his bedroom in the castle. I couldn't resist bringing the picture to my lips and kissing his likeness, silly as I felt. I spent a moment gazing at him, then looked to the back adjacent his picture and found a letter.
Dear Bertram,
My father has consented to allowing me to join you. My
clothes are being packed as I write, and I calculate you
and the rest of the men to be about two days' hard riding
away from Frell, so I expect that I will meet you in three.
I ride with Stephan. While awaiting my arrival, have the
company hunt enough provisions to as long as possible; I
anticipate our trip will take longer than originally
estimated.
He wrote several lines more, all business. I'd never heard him talk this way before, but it reminded of me something Sir Stephan had said on our journey to the giants' months ago.
"In the weeks he's spent with us he's never laughed as much as he did in the hour with you. He's too serious for someone that young."
I smiled, remembering the times where I had caused his joy rather than his pain. Then I remembered that this pain was small compared to the pain he would have felt had I told him I loved him. My smile waned.
"Dinner's served!" I heard the cry from down at the beginning of the servant's hall. With one last look at Char's picture, I whispered to spine of my book to save it, then stowed it away in my trunk again and rushed out to the dining room. Father would not be please I was late.
~~~~~
"Oh, my love!" Dame Olga's wrenching sobs echoed in my ears the following morning. It was too early for this.
"Don't worry, my heart," my father said. "I will return as soon as I can. And I will have even more money."
"Oh, Sir P, I don't care about the money-" She paused, reconsidering her statement. She sniffed, smoothed out her dress. "You must hurry back."
"Of course I will. And I will miss you terribly."
"And I you."
It was more revolting than ever.
"Quite the couple, aren't they?" Nancy, a friendly maid, whispered to me. I chuckled as my father came over to me.
"Eleanor," he said, kissing my cheek again. I hoped that wasn't going to turn into a habit. "I will miss you as well."
"That was almost convincing," I said sweetly.
He pretended not to hear. "I will return with a good, rich suitor for you. You will be happy."
"I'm sure of it."
"I trust you will last through whatever treatment you receive in this household. It won't last for long."
"Thank you," I said. "I'll hold you to that."
He forced a smile. "Good bye, daughter."
He got into his carriage, and as it pulled out, Dame Olga was the only one waving him off.
~~~~~
A/N: Thanks to Lady Bee, babyjayy, CattyFr, Turwen, blue-la-shoo, anonymous, and Attic for reviewing the prologue. It means a lot to me. :)
blue-la-shoo: I'm so glad you like Char! He's probably my favorite character to write.
CattyFr: Thanks again for catching my type-o.
Next chapter: Hopefully will be slightly longer. Includes three letters, two visitors, and one unexpected arrival. I'll try to get it out by this weekend.