Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
IMPORTANT A/N: This chapter skips around a lot time and place wise, so I suggest you pay attention to the italicized section headings that explain when and where the characters are.
Also, certain reviewers coughAidenShadowBreezecough have asked me to get on with things. So, after this chapter I'm going to move on from the pranks and work on furthering things so we all don't get sick and tired of the same ol' stuff.
Thanks to Kage Otome for being by 500th reviewer! blows noise maker while throwing confetti in the air
Finally, sorry for the long wait on the update. insert perfectly legitimate excuse here
Chapter 17 – And it's Not Even Tuesday Yet
Shortly after 1 am, Monday morning at Mad Hog's Motorsports.
"See this red thing? That's the engine cut-off switch. You flick that into the on position, put the bike in neutral like I showed you how, and then push the ignition button," the boar youkai explained.
"What is that lever?" Sesshoumaru asked, pointing to a small object on the lower end of the handlebars.
"That's the choke; it controls how much gas is fed to the engine through the fuel injection system. You want to start with it pulled all the way out, but after a couple of minutes, once the bike is warmed up, just punch it back in. You don't want to overfeed the gas."
"What else is there?"
"That should be enough to get you running smoothly. Just remember your turn signals don't have auto shutoff, ride from your center of gravity, and most importantly, always, ALWAYS roll on the throttle a little when you down shift, or else this baby will chuck you right over the front of it. If you get into trouble put it in neutral, come to a stop and just start over. Don't try and do any in flight fixes because…"
"The bike will just chuck me off. I've got the concept," Sesshoumaru replied in a slightly annoyed tone.
The boar had become increasingly amused over the situation. Never in all of his two hundred years would he have guessed that he would be teaching the taiyoukai of the western lands how to ride a stolen motorcycle.
"What is all of that?" the inu asked, his hand tracing over a hidden canister and buttons.
"That, milord, is NOS."
"Hando uses nitrous oxide?" he asked, slightly amazed.
"Well, she has it, but it's extremely rare that she ever uses it, and never does in a race. I do not doubt your abilities at all, but I recommend you forgo using it as well."
"Why?"
"Because each system has its own complexities, and I don't know what hers are without playing around with it. Plus, and you'll have to forgive me, but if she ever found out I tinkered with it, she'd have me on a roasting spit faster than it would take me to realize she was even at my door. So since I can't tell you everything about it, I'd really rather we just left that alone."
"That is an acceptable explanation. Before I take my leave though, I have one more question."
"And that would be what, milord?"
"What is Hando's relationship with Kouga?"
The boar blinked. Why would Sesshoumaru care about something like that? What was Hando to him? Unless… 'Oh holy sh-'
"Uh… well, I don't know exactly. It's pretty obvious they're close, and Kouga has made it pretty clear he doesn't want anyone tryin' to make a move on her. He's the only guy I've ever seen her agree to ride behind…"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Sesshoumaru cut him off.
"For another rider, especially one who's as good as Hando, to get behind somebody else is a big deal. Uh, crap, how to explain..." He scratched his head. "It's kind of the equivalent to you handing over your rule for a while. You're used to doing things your way, and being in control, right? You'd never, ever, let someone make a decision regarding your lands unless you trusted them completely, right? Well, it's the same for Hando. For someone as competitive as she is, it's a mark of her trust to hand over her safety and control. Does that make sense?"
"So it's as if she is submitting to him?" he asked, very near growling.
"I can't see Hando submitting to anyone, but yeah, I guess it's kinda similar to that."
"Hn." He stood, glaring at the boar as if he was somehow the root of all of his problems. When the other youkai took a few steps back from him, Sesshoumaru decided it was time to leave, before he gave into the urge to start slicing things with his claws.
Taking the skeleton key, he mounted the bike, rocked it down off its center stand and started it up. Keeping in mind the amount of power the bike had, and what the other youkai had explained about torque and such, he revved the engine to only two thousand rpm before rleasing the clutch.
The bike began to slowly roll forward, and using his superior youkai abilities, he was able to make corrections in his balance and sense the right amount of throttle to use. He made it to the road, accelerated, up-shifted, and went on his way.
15 minutes later: This wasn't so hard…
30 minutes later: I must be a natural…
45 minutes later: This is almost as good as flying. I think I'll hit full throttle and see what happens…WOAH!
Before an hour had passed, Sesshoumaru was flying along the highway at about 140 mph, slowing only to lean through curves, reveling in how far he could angle the bike towards the ground. His hands felt like they were molded onto the grips, and the vibrations of the engine were like music to his ears when they would go up and down in pitch with the rpm's.
A couple of times, well, several actually, he would have wiped out had it not been for his reflexes and ability to just pick up the bike and hover in the air, but considering it was his first time on a bike, he was doing amazingly well.
Something akin to a boyish grin that had not graced his features in centuries stole across his face as he thought, "I've got to get one of these!"
3 am Monday morning.
Back at Mad Hog's the boar and his friends were still talking about what had happened and making sure that he had imparted all the necessary information. If Sesshoumaru wrecked that bike then either he or Hando would surely be out for blood.
"Did you remember to tell him how the fuel reserve worked?" a weasel youkai asked.
"Yeah, I told him twice. Though if he runs out of gas he can just carry it to a station like he carried it here," he assured them.
"You got him to promise he wouldn't tell Hando it was you who helped him out right?"
"He swore he would not mention my name."
"Did you tell him what to do in case he accidentally popped a wheelie or pulled a stoppie?"
"Uh huh, and I told him how to right it if he accidentally slides out too."
Finally, a horse youkai with a very long, thick mane spoke up. "Did you remember to warn him to braid his hair?"
The boar's eyes shot open in horror. "Oh no, he'll kill me!"
9 am, after dropping Shippou off.
Once Kagome was back in her apartment she went to work. The first order of business was to protect herself from future attacks on what she really couldn't afford to lose in the coming week.
In the kitchen, she pulled out her flour bucket and poured a few cups into a separate bowl. Focusing her energy for a few minutes, she infused the white powder with her holy energy, causing it to glow pink before settling back down to its normal white.
Grabbing a rag she went back into her office and put a bit of the charged flour onto it. She rubbed the stuff into the cloth and then set about whacking it lightly with her palm, causing a fine trickle of it to fall over her computer and desk. Repeating the process, she made her way around the room, leaving an almost imperceptible layer over every book, every paper, every surface down to the light switch, but making sure to leave a slightly heavier coating on her anatomy and alchemy books.
Next she set out about thirty different air fresheners she'd bought from the market on the way home. There were all different kinds of scents; everything from apple blossom to velvet rose to ocean serenity.
Her final act was to put up a strong, but not indestructible, barrier outside the door that would keep any of the scents or flour from leaking out through the crack underneath the door. It would serve the dual purpose of both surprising any inu intruders and protecting Shippou. Smiling at her own brilliance she proceeded on to the next item on her to do list.
Picking up her cell phone she hit speed dial number four.
"Hello Gorgeous!" came a cheery voice with an American accent. "Having fun baiting the dog, are you?"
"You have no idea Micah, it's even better than what I put you through," she laughed.
"What?" he gasped. "Don't go saying things like, you'll make me jealous."
"Ha! As if anyone as arrogant as you could ever be jealous, golden boy," she teased.
"Kagome, you wound me," he whined. "Now what are you going to do to make me feel better?"
"How about letting you help me make my next move?"
There was a brief pause, and then a truly wickedly toned reply of, "What exactly is it you want to know?"
10:30 am, Taisho mansion grounds.
Less than an hour later, Kagome was dressed in her black training outfit, making her way into the Taisho mansion. Any servant she came across was put to sleep by the same spell she'd used earlier that morning.
Finally, after a tense forty-five minutes (Sesshoumaru really had excellent security, and it was no mean feat to get through it), she found herself slipping into the room which held her intended object.
Scanning the area, she looked for any trace of alarms, but there were none. 'That can't be right,' she thought. 'He wouldn't leave this unprotected.' She continued to search, but it yielded nothing. There were no sutras, no wards, no visible spells, and no electronic wires to indicate security.
'Could he really be that cocky as to not believe anyone would dare to try and take this?' She didn't think so, but she couldn't think of anything else to check for. Then again, her current lifestyle was catching up on her and she knew she wasn't operating at a hundred percent. Her long nights and, ahem…studies, were taking their toll, leaving her a little drained and slower than usual.
A part of her mind was telling her to back away quietly, but another was reminding her of how this was the perfect thing to steal from him. She knew she was taking a major risk, but she couldn't help herself. She lifted the lid and reached in.
"HOLY SH-" she began to scream in pain before she caught herself. Gasping for breath she immediately checked the auras in the house to see if any were coming for her. Realizing that no one was (after all there was practically nobody left who was even conscious at the moment), she began to breath a little slower.
Inwardly cursing a certain taiyoukai, she looked down at her hand and saw that it was blistering, and even her arm was beginning to swell. 'Not good, not good Kagome!' she yelled at herself. The jolt she had felt was like a super concentrated dose of Sesshoumaru's aura, and it reminded her of the feeling she got when she'd accidentally touched the prongs of a plug while pulling it from a socket, causing her to be nearly electrocuted.
'No wonder there wasn't extra security around, the damn thing has its own defenses! Hmmm, how to get around this?' There was no other way for it; she was going to have to use her miko powers to counteract the youki.
"Great," she muttered. "Why don't I just hang a big sign that says 'Kagome was here'!" It was one thing to deliberately leave something behind as a teaser, but it was quite another to be forced to.
She knew she could simply purify it and be done with the whole thing, but she didn't want a victim, she wanted a hostage. Thinking quickly, she decided to try a barrier spell.
Kagome closed her eyes and placed her palms hovering over the object. A pink glow surrounded it, and it became a kind of tangible carrying case. She squished the pink blob of energy together and noted with satisfaction how the shield always remained a distance of one inch from the surface. The barrier was containing it without damaging it.
She placed a note in the now empty space. 'Now to get out of here and hide this.'
She made her way out of the room, her arm still incredibly painful, and five minutes later she was speeding away from the Taisho mansion. Little did she know that on the other side of town, Sesshoumaru was engaged in similar activities.
10:45 am, Kagome's apartment building.
Sesshoumaru was tempted to chuckle as he thought about where he'd hid Chris. Once the miko found the bike she'd be furious, and not just with him.
Taking out the spare key to her apartment that he'd made while helping Mia decorate, he unlocked the door went inside. The next step in his plan was to look through her files and see if he couldn't deduce what she was up to.
While unpacking, he'd noted several of her books had colored tabs and paper clips sticking out of them, and he thought it'd be a good indication of just what the miko was spending her time on. Perhaps if he was feeling especially vindictive he'd steal some of her sheet music as well, but he doubted it. His morning ride had both exhilarated and calmed him in the most unexpected manner. He almost felt peaceful.
When he approached the study he felt the barrier she'd placed at the door. It was strong, but not impeachable. "What is this for? Surely she must be aware I can breach this," he mused. If it wasn't security against him then why even have it?
A part of his mind was telling him to back away slowly, but his confidence in his abilities and his curiosity won out. He used his whip to shatter the barrier, opened the door and flicked the switch to turn on the light.
He immediately wished he hadn't. Whatever near peaceful feelings he'd had a moment ago were now gone.
Simultaneously he suffered a stinging burn from the powder on the switch and got a nose full of a myriad of scents. His eyes began to water and he was choking from the unexpected, overwhelming assault on his olfactory senses. He leapt to the window and threw it open in an attempt to air out the room only to be shocked from more holy powder.
Cursing Kagome and all her progeny he decided he'd just make a grab for some books and leave but when he touched them he received his worst burn yet. His gasp drew in some of the powder which had been floating in the air and he felt its effects in his mouth and lungs.
"DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! I HATE THAT MIKO!" he bellowed as the continued barrage of smells elicited a wave of nausea. He made a split second decision that since he'd already seen what was in the office, and nothing really caught his attention back then, there was no reason to put himself through this torture.
He slammed the door shut and was about to leave when he realized he'd have to put his own barrier over it so that nothing would leak out and affect the kit. He might as well write it out in huge letters on the wall "Sesshoumaru was here and fell for your trap!"
"That's it," he snarled as he erected a blue shield. "I'm going to shred her leathers to pieces! And then I'm going to stuff them in the oven and burn them to a crisp! And after that…"
However, before he got the chance to finish his line of thinking his cell phone rang. It was Bankotsu.
"Speak," he commanded.
"Taisho-sama you must come into the command center now, an urgent situation has just been brought to our attention."
"Regarding what," he demanded as he locked the door and left her apartment.
"Inuyasha and Higurashi have just been found knocked out in the parking lot."
"What is their status?" This was not good. He was planning on sending the pair out today for a short assignment. Since they were days away from getting married/mated, no one would suspect them of leaving town, which made them ideal.
"Well, Higurashi is untouched, but…" and here Sesshoumaru could tell he was having a hard time suppressing his laughter, "it seems as though Inuyasha will need some assistance."
11:20, the infirmary at Taisho Command.
"Inuyasha Taisho you stop squirming this instant, and let me do this!" Kikyou snapped, exasperatedly. When he whimpered and glared at the floor she said "Oh, don't be such a pup about it."
"Ah HUH? Hoo cah oo ee so een! Oo ah wah see ih oo mee!" Translation: 'A PUP? How can you be so mean! Look at what she did to me!"
"Calm down, it's not so bad. You'll be all better in ten minutes if you quit fighting me," she admonished.
"Uh ah stuff sells!" (But that stuff smells!)
"Would you rather not be able to smell anything at all?"
"I ah oh-een oo ill ah-oh-me!" (I am going to kill Kagome!)
"Well don't kill her till after the ceremony; I want her to be in our pictures. After that you can do whatever you want," she said in a placating tone.
"Ahmiss?"
Unable to resist the pitiful look he was giving her Kikyou nodded. "Ye slove, I promise."
Sesshoumaru heard this dialogue as he approached but it wasn't until he actually entered the room that he understood why Bankotsu had been snorting with laughter over the phone.
Inuyasha looked utterly wretched. His nostrils and lips were both superglued together except for where a pink straw protruded out of the right side of his mouth. His hands appeared to be super-glued to his buttocks and he was wearing a t-shirt that read 'I'm with stupid' that had an arrow pointing to the neckline.
Sesshoumaru could tell it was super-glue that was used because tubes of it had been affixed to the shirt as well. Kikyou had a cue tip and a bottle of nail polish remover and was attempting to unseal his nostrils.
"I'm guessing that Hando has struck again?" the taiyoukai interrupted.
Kikyou turned to answer and gasped. "Sesshoumaru-sama, what happened to you?"
"What are you speaking of?" he asked with an arched brow. Inuyasha's eyes had widened and, though no one could really tell due to the fact that his mouth was glued shut most of the way, he seemed to be laughing.
"You're covered in burns, your eyes are red, and…and," she hesitated.
Sesshoumaru walked over to a mirror to see what she was talking about and a deep frown immediately overtook his features. His hair, his long, beautiful hair was currently doing an impression of a birds nest. The wind from his ride on Chris had caused innumerable snarls, and it was going to take some time to undo it all.
It wasn't something he was expecting because his hair never tangled while flying, but because of the way bikes are aeronomically designed, the wind swirls behind the rider, having a completely different effect.
"I'm going to slaughter that hog," he growled. Just then his cell phone range for the second time that morning; it was Jaken.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" the toad squawked. "Someone has broken into your private office!"
"Was anything stolen?" he demanded.
"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama, though I cannot possibly understand how," he bawled.
"What is missing?"
"Your ancestor's pelt!" (A/N: Kudos to all you smarties who guessed it in your reviews!)
The grip Sesshoumaru had on his phone tightened to where he was in danger of crushing the device into tiny particles.
"Are there any clues as to who is responsible?"
"Hai, there is a note," Jaken stammered. "It says, 'I thought this would be an appropriate way to help you learn to let go of the past, youkai.'"
Inuyasha, who could hear the whole conversation, had expected his brother to go into a blood rage over this piece of news. He was therefore in a silent state of shock when Sesshoumaru's only reply was, "I see. I shall be home within the hour."
'Touché, Kagome,' he thought with a mental sigh as he restrained as smile. "All this and it's not even Tuesday yet," he said aloud.
Kikyou was about to question his meaning, but before she could Sesshoumaru spoke once again.
"Both of you be in my office in twenty minutes, I have an important assignment that needs immediate attention."
A/N: As requested, Sesshoumaru took a beating, as did Kagome. I wanted to show that neither was completely infallible, so I hope that went over okay.
Also, I would at this point in time like to give out some advice: Never, EVER, try to edit a story when you have not slept in three days. The damage done will take much longer to repair then waiting to edit ever would. In fact, if it weren't for my bodacious beta DarkCrystalis this chapter would be quite messy. (Thanks gain Angel!)
Okay, so…spoilers for Chapter 18 – Parent's Night:
- Uncertainty flooded him as visions of Kagome going ballistic and trying to destroy both him and his home whirled through his mind's eye.-
-"What are cooties?" asked a puzzled Sesshoumaru.
"Never mind," Kagome sighed.-
-"You know you are capable of killing anyone that was in that school tonight apart from myself," Sesshoumaru said, breaking the silence. "Why do you let yourself be intimidated by them?"-
-'Oh great,' Kagome thought, 'another new power I have idea what to do with.'-
-"Any woman who voluntarily raises a kitsune, and a male one at that, has got to be someone whose clever, crafty, and patient," Loki said with a sly grin. It was one Kagome had seen her son use on numerous occasions, usually when he was planning on being naughty. "All of which are qualities needed in the type of person I'm looking for."-