Disclaimer: Plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to someone else, I don't claim it, blah, blah, blah.

A/N: coughs, clears throat Yes, I am, in fact, alive. I know it's been almost a month since the last chapter, and I'm sorry about that. I got back from North Carolina a week ago and my muse for fanfiction was gone completely. But, after reading some more reviews, it is now back. So here's the next chapter, finally.

Reminder: Rating is still upped to PG-13, for those of you who didn't get the message.

Summary: On the night of the third ball, everything went according to plan. She plans to forget Char and go on living with her curse as a maid in Dame Olga's house. But first loves always die hard.

Call It A Gift

By Blackberry Ink

Chapter Seven: Handle On A Reason

Thought about

Singing but I couldn't remember all of the words

Breaking but I couldn't get the pieces apart

Laughing never knowing what the joke was about

Now I'm down And I wonder how I ever felt the burn

And I wonder if I'm ever gonna learn

How lonely people make a life

One strain at a time.

- The Burn, Matchbox Twenty

My eyes widened and I saw my chest heaving from breathing so fast. "Mandy," I said. "What did it say?"

Mandy's face was red and her freckles stood out as they always did when she was angry, and she stared at the fire for a moment, watching the flame devour the last remnants of the letter.

"Your father," she said. "He's found you a husband, he says. Found the perfect match, he says. He would like you to be married in three weeks."

I gasped and clutched the counter for support as I felt my knees nearly give way. My breath caught in my throat and my fingers shook against the cool surface of the kitchen.

"Who?" I managed in a tremulous whisper.

Mandy looked at me as though she'd rather spare me this information. But I needed to know. My husband-to-be. I needed to know.

"Sir Giles," she said flatly, eyes locked with mine.

It took all my strength to keep from collapsing to the floor, and I wanted to stand, to show some soft of strength. Because as it was, I felt as though I were going into battle with no shield and only a wooden sword as a weapon. The world was spinning out of my control and I had no means to stop it.

"I won't," I said after a moment of being unable to speak. "I shan't do what he tells me. I'll break the curse, once and for all."

"Oh, I wish it could be so, Lady," Mandy murmured, coming over to me and rubbing her hand in circles on my back. "I wish it could be so."

I stepped away from her, strides showing false confidence. "It can be so! All this time I have wanted to break it, and never have I been able to. But this time is different. Never has something so dreadful been commanded of me."

Mandy's eyes were shining and she rubbed her nose. I felt my eyes fill with tears as well. Sir Giles, my husband in less than a month. It was much worse this time as compared to when I had thought I was betrothed to the Earl of Wolleck. Then at least I had been blissful about it. The knowledge was better when I didn't feel the danger and hurt of it.

But it was better I knew in my right mind. It was better because this way, there was a possibility that I could find a way out of it. And I would find a way out of it, somehow.

"Will you leave with me, Mandy?" I asked her. "We'll steal away in the night, find work as cooks. We could-"

"I would, Lady, but you can't leave. Not without Dame Olga or her daughters ordering it."

"Not daughters," I said. "Just Hattie. Olive wasn't a part of the order Dame Olga made." It would have been easier if she had. I might have been able to trick Olive into ordering me out of the house, but not her mother or sister.

"Your father returns in a week," Mandy said. "Or so he wrote. We needn't tell anyone else of the betrothal until then. And when he comes back to the manor, you can get him to take the order off."

"It won't matter if he permits me outside," I said.

"Then you must find a way to have him tell his wife to do it. She'll listen to him. And I'm sure you can convince Sir Peter, Lady."

I began washing the dirty bowl Mandy had been using. "I hate him," I announced.

I had never seen Mandy's eyes so filled with sadness as that moment, and I was glad that, for once, she didn't tell me off for hating someone. Because, I supposed, she hated him too.

I stayed in the kitchens as long as I could that night, because the more work I had the less time for thought. Thought would only anger me at the moment. It was best not to think.

Evening was nearly giving way to night as I walked the familiar path to my room, and I opened the door quietly so it wouldn't creak. The moment I stepped inside, I felt a hand covering my mouth, stopping me from crying out. The room was dark but for the moonlight streaming in the small, high window. I lashed out with my foot to kick my attacker in the shin and he let out a small yelp and fell backwards, bringing me with him and somehow managing to keep his hand over my mouth. I bit his hand.

"Ella, Ella!" he said in a hasty whisper, cradling the hand I'd bitten. I felt the muscles of his chest against my stomach flex slightly as he rolled off of me and stepped gingerly with his slightly wounded leg over to sit on my bed. "It's me, you ass."

I gasped. "Gareth?"

"That's me."

I hurried to sit beside him on the bed and impulsively reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist for a moment, breathing in the outdoors and leather scent of him. I had never hugged a man before. But it was so good to see him.

"Easy, Ella," he said. But he took my hand and squeezed it. "Not while I'm wounded."

I turned his hand over so I could see the other side of it. His hands were rough and calloused from work, much more than Char's had been. I blinked at thinking of Char. I hadn't thought of him in a while. "I'm so sorry, Gareth, I didn't know who you were."

"I've got bite marks on my palm, you know. And saliva." He reached over and wiped it on my sleeve. "Appalling for someone of your class to resort to biting. How Neanderthal."

I smiled. He was just how I remembered him. "Never let it be said that all ladies don't know how to fight."

"You call that fighting. I call it cannibalism."

"I only bit you."

"You might have torn my flesh. And after you tasted my flesh, you might have wanted more. And then you would have been no better than a mere animal."

I laughed. "That's ridiculous."

He laughed too. "Perhaps."

I laughed for as long as I could, because it was good to laugh after the news I had received this morning. When we stopped, I said, "Did I hurt your leg as well?"

He brought his foot up to rest on my lap. I raised my eyebrows at the motion but he didn't make to move his position. "I'll be bruised for weeks," he said.

"It's not all that bad. Just slightly blue."

"And purple."

"Well, you deserved it, sneaking into my room. How did you find it, at any rate?"

"That day we met, do you remember it?" I nodded and he continued. "You went to your room once, and I followed. I was going to startle you, but I turned back just as you opened your door."

"Decided against it?"

"I thought it wouldn't be nice."

"You're too considerate, Gareth."

"I do try."

I settled myself more on the bed and looked back up at him. "What have you been doing the past month and a half?"

He put his foot down from my lap. "What have I been doing? I, who had been trying to get around the guards at the gate to your manor for over a month so I could see you? I, who waited for you to come visit me when you stayed at home?"

I frowned. "Gareth, they've kept me in here. They've kept me inside and I wasn't allowed to leave and-"

He reached out and put a finger to my lips. I silenced quickly. "I know," he said, suddenly serious.

"I'm not allowed outside," I said. "Dame Olga won't allow it. I can't sneak out, they catch me." The curse catches me.

"We'll do something," he said. "I snuck in this once, I can do it again."

"How did you do it in the first place?"

He grinned. "I – accidentally, of course – left a large bottle of rum near the gate. I saw them laying on the ground half an hour later, piss drunk."

"It took you a month to think of that?"

"It took me a month to get the key to the shoemaker's stores. He's got a lot of alcohol down there. He won't miss a few bottles."

"You'll lose your apprenticeship if he finds you out," I said.

He shrugged. "But at least I'll have gotten to see you."

I smiled again at his frankness. I couldn't remember anyone ever being so open with me.

"You can leave with me, you know," he said after a long pause. "Pack quickly and we'll leave tonight."

I shook my head. The curse wouldn't allow it. "My Father is due home in a week. Then everything can go back to normal."

He looked doubtful, but nodded. "What can you do until then?"

"Bear it," I said. "I've lasted six weeks, I can last another."

"Alright," he said.

"You should go," I said, even though it was the last thing I wanted after missing him for all that time. But night had truly fallen now and every moment longer he stayed made it harder for him to get back to the shoemaker's. Things worse than thieves and bandits roamed the streets as it got later.

He nodded again. "You're probably right. But I don't like to leave you like this. Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"Quite sure," I lied. I could tell he knew I was lying but pretended otherwise.

"I'll come tomorrow, if I can," he said. "I'll get another bottle of rum once I get back, while Mr. Stevenson's still asleep."

"I'll come back here as early as I can, so I can wait for you."

We were silent again for another minute, and I heard loud footsteps coming in this direction. I looked at Gareth – he'd heard it too.

"Hide under the bed," I whispered needlessly. He was already moving towards it. I was suddenly aware of what people would think if they saw a man alone with me in here. The chance of a servant coming to my door was slim, but plausible. Nancy had come before, asking for help with Tristan, who still stayed with her. And perhaps Dame Olga or one of her daughters would come looking for me. It hadn't happened before, but suddenly I felt nervous. I looked back to make sure Gareth wasn't visible.

There was a knock at the door. I couldn't help but jump slightly.

"Ella, are you in there?"

A familiar voice. It was Nathan, the manservant.

"Yes," I called back.

"Don't come out if you're not decent," he returned. "But if you are- "

I quickly stepped out and closed the door before he could get a good look inside.

"Ah," he said. "Well, then. I'll tell Bertha it was nothing."

I furrowed my brow. "What was nothing?"

"She thought she heard voices from your room and asked me to knock and see. I don't know why she didn't just come herself. But I'll just tell her she was hearing things. She was hearing things, yes?"

"Yes," I said, a bit too quickly. "Of course she was hearing things."

Nathan lifted his eyebrows, questioning, but I didn't respond to it.

"Good night, then, Ella," Nathan said.

"Good night," I said, standing in front of the door, waiting for him to turn the corner before I dared to slip inside.

Gareth sat on my bed, grinning broadly.

"What are you doing there?" I said in an undertone. "Imagine if I hadn't been alone walking in."

"I heard you through the door," he said. "I knew it was only you."

"Shh!" I murmured. "Whisper." I shook my head but went to sit next to him again.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you can't exactly leave, can you? Bertha seems to have heard us talking and she'll be listening for you if you go."

"I could go out the window."

"The guards."

"They're drunk."

"It's past midnight," I said. "There are new guards for the next few hours."

He shrugged. "I can get by them."

"I don't-"

"Come on, Ella," Gareth said. "It's not as if you want me to stay here the night, is it?"

I opened my mouth to say something and closed it. Of course I didn't want him to stay. There would be no place for him to sleep besides the floor. Besides that, what would someone think should they see him come morning? My mouth opened again to refuse the idea but shut again before I spoke.

Gareth's eyes widened for a moment before he spoke for me. "I'll go now. Out the window. I can get around gate guards again, like I told you."

I nodded slowly. "Be careful."

He raised his eyebrows. "When am I ever not careful?"

I smiled, glad the normal atmosphere between us was back. He stood and went to the high window, quietly pushing it open. He turned back to look at me, suddenly serious.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

I smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure."

He started to close the window. "I don't want to-"

I stood and pushed the window back open. "Go. Before someone sees you."

"I-"

I gave him as stern a look as I could manage. "If you don't leave, Gareth, I'll-"

And suddenly, before I could comprehend what he was doing, he leaned down and closed the space between us. I found myself without words again. His breath warmed my face and his eyes locked with mine. He reached out with the hand that wasn't holding the window open and used the pad of his thumb rub circles on my cheek. I swallowed.

"Are you really sure you're alright?" he whispered.

I nodded mutely. My arms stayed still as though nailed to my sides and my knees locked under me.

He smiled a half-smile and left his hand lingering a moment before drawing it away from my face and putting more distance between us. "How foolish of me," he murmured. "To think you'd ever not be able to take care of yourself, Ella."

He used both arms to push himself up and out of the window. He turned back again before closing it.

"I'll miss you," he said.

Another moment before I could find my voice. "Hurry and get out of here," I said, not quite meeting his eye. "Before I have to make you."

Without another word, he was gone.

It was near noon when Hattie woke the next morning. She used the bell, just like her mother, to call me to her chambers. She had been at a cotillion or ball of some sort and longed gloat about it to me.

"I wore that beautiful lavender gown," she said, nodding towards a servant who was just carrying it away to be cleaned. "And I am quite sure that the prince noticed it."

I paused a moment. The prince? Char had been there? "You mean Ch – Prince Charmont?" I flinched at my tone, which betrayed my interest.

Hattie smiled beatifically. "Yes, he was. I had all but given up hope that I would ever be betrothed to him, but ever since seeing him yesterday I am quite sure that the flame between us has been rekindled."

"Ah," I said, both stifling a laugh at the prospect of a flame between Char and Hattie and trying hard not to be jealous that Hattie had been somewhere Char was and I had not.

"I told him I was free for him to call upon me this afternoon," Hattie continued. "So I wouldn't be surprised if he came to the manor a few hours hence."

I hid my grin, thinking of Char coming here to call on Hattie and stopped. That would be Char coming here. Even if the purpose of his visit was to call on someone else, it would be such a joy to see his face again.

I shook the thought out of my head. Char would not call on someone like Hattie. Char would never marry; he'd told me. And it was all my fault. No heir to carry on the family name. Because of a stupid, clumsy girl who couldn't manage to stay out of love.

I rubbed my nose, realizing I hadn't checked my magic book last night for a memento of Char. I'd go back the moment I had a chance and look. I thought back to the night before, wondering why I hadn't remembered my month's old routine.

Gareth. Gareth had been there.

My breath caught again, and I felt dizzy for a moment, though whether because of Char or Gareth or the fact that the room was stifling hot I wasn't sure. It took a moment before I realized Hattie was still talking.

"...the talk of the ball," she said, eyes wide with delight as she stared at herself in the mirror. "They'll all remember me, I'm sure."

"I'm sure they will," I said dutifully.

Hattie sighed and looked at me through the mirror. "You're being a bore, Ella," she said. "Leave."

"Of course," I said, more than happy to oblige.

"But wait a moment," she said.

I stopped going towards the door.

She smiled thinly and tapped her fingertips together. "Should Charmont come to visit me today-"

Please don't order me to me room, I hoped fiercely.

"-you will serve us," she said. "And I want you to stay in the clothes you're wearing now as you do so."

I let out my breath and determinedly didn't smile. If I mussed my hair enough and dirtied my face enough, perhaps Char wouldn't recognize me. It had been a long time since we'd seen each other in the flesh. Perhaps he didn't even remember what I looked like.

I knew I doubted this, but I felt more lighthearted as I left the room. Char probably wouldn't come, if he was in his right mind. But there was a chance I'd see him in just a few short hours. And Gareth sometime soon after that, if I was lucky.

For a moment, I felt blessed.

There was no clock in the kitchen. I looked out the window tensely every moment I could to spot the sun's position in the sky. When it was four hours after noon, I stopped looking. If Char was going to come, he would have come before this time. Just after four o'clock dinner preparations began, and no visited so as to keep from disturbing the household.

A moment later, Nancy came into the kitchen. "Lady Hattie wants you in the sitting room, Ella," she said.

"Now?"

"Yes," Nancy said. "And she says to bring nothing."

I bit my lip to stop from laughing out loud. Char must be here! Hattie would not request my presence otherwise. After Nancy left, I took some soot and rubbed in on my cheeks, suddenly remembering how Gareth's hand had felt there. I regained myself quickly and hurried to the sitting room.

Just as I had thought, there was Char. A thrill ran through me and longed to stay rooted to the spot, for I could stay this way for hours if I was allowed.

"Cinders," Hattie said. "Come."

It took a moment before I could comprehend that Hattie was talking to me, but once I realized it I followed the order. I did not was Char to see me struggle against the curse

"Yes, mistress?" I made my voice a pitch higher. Hattie would just think I had a case of nerves and it would throw Char off.

"I'd like a cup of tea," she said. She looked to Char, eyelashes fluttering. "And would you like anything, Charmont?"

He didn't appear to have heard her. He was staring fixedly at me, eyes narrowed. I blanched. He recognized me. I was a fool to have not made a better disguise.

"Your name is Cinders?" he said.

"Yes, your highness," I said. Despite my fear, it was a wonder to be addressed by him.

"Tell me, have I, perhaps, seen you before? Did you once work in the castle?"

Hattie cut in. "I assure you, no," she said. "Cinders has been working here at the manor her entire life."

But the need to obey was pressing at my chest and at my head and my mouth moved before I could stop it. "Yes, your highness." No, no, he would surely find me out now.

Char's brow furrowed. I longed to trace the lines and make them disappear. "Yes, I have seen you before?"

There was no use taking back my answer now. He'd know I'd lied. "Yes, you've seen me before."

Char now looked lost in thought as he stared at me, and in the face of it all it was so good to have him look at me, even if I was in a state like this.

"Charmont," Hattie interjected shrilly. "Would you like tea as well?"

"Tea?" he said, coming out of his reverie to glance at Hattie for a moment, then look back to me. "Yes, I suppose I'll have a cup, if you're making it."

I nodded and left the room, fighting the longing to turn around for another glance of him at the door with the knowledge that I'd see him again as soon as the tea was brewed, provided Hattie didn't bore him to death with her prattle.

I couldn't calm my hands from shaking as I made the tea; Mandy noticed and came over to do it. I tried sitting but found myself unable to keep still, so I began pacing the length of the kitchen. When the tea was done, I hastily readied two cups and rushed towards the sitting room again.

The moment I walked in his eyes were on me again, and I felt sure this time that he knew who I was. I gave Hattie her drink. I nearly dropped his cup of tea as I offered it to him and he reached out to steady my arm, making me falter even more to have him touch me. A drop spilled over the side and onto his leg as I let it into his hands.

I covered my mouth with my hands. "Char, I'm-" I swallowed at his sharp gaze. I curtsied quickly and pretended I hadn't spoke. "I'm so sorry, your highness."

He brushed off my slip. "It's quite alright. Thank you very much for the tea."

I curtsied again. He took a sip of tea and turned to Hattie, who was looking at me with a predatory glare.

"Lady Hattie, did not one Ella of Frell live here with you?"

Hattie's gaze switched quickly from me to Char. She nodded curtly. "She did, my prince. Why is it that you ask?"

He shrugged. "Curiosity." His voice sounded nonchalant, but I knew him to well. It was more than curiosity.

"She's betrothed, as of now," Hattie said. How did she know? Perhaps she was lying? I blinked. Of course – Father had told Dame Olga in his letter to her."

Char raised his eyebrows, subtly inviting more information. Hattie appeared discomforted that this was the topic of conversation that he seemed to warm most to.

"She shall be married in three weeks to Sir Giles, who was first to be knighted by King Jerrold," she said.

Char's face would have made me laugh was my heart not being wrenched out of my chest knowing that I could not go to him now - to beg forgiveness and beg for him to love me.

"Was she not married before?"

I felt myself go pale. Now he would truly know. Hattie would correct him and all would be lost.

Hattie's brow was furrowed as she shook her head. "No, she was not."

I needed to leave. I slowly turned and began heading for the door. He couldn't see me again; I was a fool to think that I wouldn't be caught in his presence.

"Why is your maid leaving?" I heard Char ask as my hand went to the handle of the door. He looked at the clock. "I've stayed too late – it's nearly dinner. I apologize."

"No, Charmont, it's not-"

He stood. "I'll show myself out. Thank you for letting me visit, Lady Hattie."

She pouted as I left, and I could feel Char coming towards the door. I closed the door quickly and near-ran towards the kitchens. I hear the door open and close again, and his quick footsteps following me down the hallway.

"Wait!" he called.

I tried to keep going, but the curse wouldn't let me. I stopped and moved against the wall as if to let him pass. He stopped before me, eyes boring through me once more as I tried not to cower.

"Forgive me for asking again," he said, brushing a stray hair behind his ear. "But have we met before? Under...different circumstances, perhaps?"

I shook my head. Please let him not know me.

He stepped closer. "Are you quite sure? Have you always been called Cinders?"

I nodded this time, and I fought the urge to reach out and touch him.

"Tell the truth."

Again the curse would bring the worse for me. "No, your highness."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but I, in a very un-maidlike move, cut him off. "Will you excuse me, highness? I must help prepare dinner."

"Go, then, if you must."

"I must. Thank you, your highness."

I curtsied before walking the rest of the length to the kitchens. I felt his eyes on me until I was out of sight, but I didn't look back.

A/N: Finally, another chapter! Sorry I don't have time to go through everyone's name who reviewed, but I thank you all the same. Your reviews were so nice to come home to after weeks at camp. :)

Next chapter: Sir Peter gets home again and has a little tête-à-tête with Ella. More of Ella's magic book, we find out why exactly Char would come to call on that oh-so-annoying Hattie, and perhaps a bit of Gareth. Should be posted in about two weeks. I'll post a cookie sometime next week or the beginning of the week after.

By the way – I was just wondering: What's everyone rooting for the ending to be? Ella/Char, Ella/Gareth, Ella/Someone else? Perhaps some Ella/Sir Giles? What you'd like may just effect what I decided to put in and keep out of the story. (hint hint)