Reliving the Past
By CallxMexSenseixSenpaixSama
Nothing to write up here
Kyou woke up to find a note next to him. It said that Tohru would be out for today and how sorry she was to ruin his one holiday. It also said to watch over Kyoru. He grimaced. Looking over to the cradle, his daughter laid there, still sleeping. He didn't bother dressing and went to the refrigerator to get his daily milk. Grabbing the baby bottle, he poured the baby's milk into it. He wasn't sure how to go through with this. Stuck with nothing to do on behalf of his anxiety over his day, he went to get the mail. Most of it was taxes, bills, advertisements, and then one from the Sohma house? How rare. As soon as he came back inside, he could hear Kyoru's crying. Tossing the mail onto the counter he took the bottle and tried to be strong. But how weak he must be to use all his strength for a baby...
His skin was tingling for each step closer. This was his first time watching over the baby. And when he thought about it, that's shameful for a father after 5 months a baby is born. Tohru deserves her break. Before entering after what seemed to be an eternity walking down the hallway, he closed his eyes. God give him strength.
Not knowing how to look, he tried putting on a smile. By that time, her crying had dwindled down. And when she saw him, it turned into gurgles of laughter.
"So my face is a joke, eh?" he grunted. He was confronted by a great deal of not-knowing-what-to-do-ness. Does he give the bottle to her or does he pick her up and give the bottle to her, but if he did that then she would change into the tiger, but is it okay if she changes into the tiger because a tiger would like milk all the same. Overthinking, he collapsed onto the bed and decided on just giving the bottle to her. His hand trembling, he handed the bottle into her hands. Who knew it was so hard to take of a daughter. He watched as she drank it. How long will it take.. a short time or a long time. Will she finish it? Should he wash her next? Should he play with her next? Would she rather playing inside or outside? Did they buy her games to play with? Does she like being read to? What the hell was he supposed to do?!
When his stressful thinking was done, she was also done. Ah. So she doesn't finish her milk. Well, he supposed that he should at least take her out of her bed. But how? This had to be the first time that Kyou wished that he was a girl.
In the end, he picked her up at an arm's length away from him so that she wouldn't change. What now? Does he put her on the bed? Stroller? Ground? Should he go outside? If he does, should he take a towel where she can lie down on?
Deciding on going outside and yes, take a towel, he laid her down on it. Stress, stress, stress! He relaxed on the grass and sighed. This had to be one of the hardest jobs around. The clouds rolled on by. He could hear Kyoru making her baby sounds and such. Turning over to his side, he stared at the grass. To be a better father. To be a better husband. He wished for that to come true. But it was difficult with his past tormenting him. Living most of his life as a monster. The outcast born only to be pitied on so the others would feel better. He felt like a monster still. Wounds turn into scars. To live with a tormenting scar... Her... representing his past... But he shouldn't think this way! He can't think this way! What was he to do?
Somewhere in the background, he heard the phone ring. Glad that he could get his mind cleared and have something to do, he rushed to the phone. But after a few minutes, he wished to have never answered the phone. It was his students from the dojo, rambling on and on about how he should spend his holiday and to spend it well. When he came back, he turned into stone.
"Oh fucking hell!!" he shouted. His daughter was dirty because somehow she rolled her way into the mud and grass while he was gone. Feeling irresponsible, he stumbled his way to her. Picking her up in a way so she wouldn't change, he rolled her up in the towel and carried her to the bathroom. When she was in the bathtub, he could finally breathe normally. But he had to keep holding onto her back so she wouldn't drown. And he didn't get any rest because he had to be scrubbing the dirt off of her, washing her hair, and then just sit there with his hand getting tired while she splashed around, enjoying the bath. He just wasn't used to this kind of thing.
After drying her, he sighed. When did baths become easy gates to hell? He looked at his daughter. She had his eyes. And her mother's mouth. Not sure who's nose. Suddenly he had the irresistible urge to hug her. Gah! Now he's becoming a pedophile!
Dressing her back into her diaper and clothes, which he felt the most awkward in, he brought her to the living room. Seeing as there were toys for her all around, he gathered them around her and left to prepare another bottle. After an hour or so, he looked for a book to read to her. And much to his surprise, her small book collection was cats, cats, cats, kitties galore. Feeling even more awkward, he picked a random book and laid down to read aloud to her. But the position he was in and the position of the baby made it impossible for her to see the pictures easily. So he sat up and set her on his lap.
Maybe... Maybe this is what it's like to be father.
When Tohru came back, she dropped her bags. Tears started dropping by the gallons. Right in front of her... was the image that she always wanted. Her greatest desire. Who knew it would come true? For there lied Kyou and a tiger on top of him, sleeping. And all around them were toys and books strewn about. She couldn't stop crying. Her wish... for Kyou to love Kyoru. To be able to spend time with her. To not reject her.
It all came true.