Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I used bits of the book to fit in with my plotline.
Summary: AU. What if he had never called her Mudblood? A short story about the relationship between Lily and Snape, beginning with his worst memory. LilyEvans/SeverusSnape.
Tagline: What if… what if he had never said the cursèd word?
The Prince, the Toerag and the Lily
Chapter One
Outside the Portrait Hole
She strode off toward the castle, glaring at James, who was rumpling his hair again. Snape tried to follow, but Sirius walked in front of him, blocking the path.
Mudblood. He'd almost called her Mudblood. But something had made him hold his tongue. Some deep thing, wild urge, had made him stop before he'd alienated her forever. He sighed with an inexplicable relief, even as James's spell hoisted him up in the air again. He hadn't said it.
Lily stormed through the entrance hall, up several flights of stairs, and didn't stop until she had climbed through the portrait hole. The common room was empty, most people sitting outside after examinations or revising in the library. She took a log and angrily chucked it into the fire. A cloud of ash spilled out, and she glared at the sparks flying, the same colour as her hair.
Stupid, arrogant Potter and his ridiculous friends. She could always count on them to wreck everything. And Severus. Calling her a little Gryffindor girl, as if he hadn't known her back before they had even been at Hogwarts, before the Sorting, back when the two of them were the same.
But they had never been the same. He'd always snuck about her and Tuney, wearing those awful mismatched pieces of clothing. She had been loved and cared for so carefully along with her sister, by her parents. Always dressed neatly, her hair heavy down her back, loose, in plaits, with ribbons. He was the first one to know, about her having magic. He was the one to tell her of Hogwarts, of all the fun they'd have, being with all the other kids who had magic.
Was that the same boy who had just sneered at her with so much contempt? Her fury gave to a sudden bout of sadness, grief almost, and she had the urge to cry. Her oldest friend, told her off to make himself seem more… what? Tough? For James Potter and his gang. She held back her tears with her anger and stomped down to the Great Hall, not wanting Potter and his friends to walk into the common room and find her sulking.
Mary and the rest of the girls had just sat down, laughing at the edge of the Gryffindor table. Lily pasted a false smile on her face and sat between Mary and Alice.
'I saw you out there with Potter,' a girl called Isabelle noted with a smidge of envy in her voice. 'Was he trying to get you to go out with him again?'
'I don't want to talk about Potter,' Lily cut her off curtly, and began to sip her soup. There was an awkward silence.
Mary broke it mercifully, with a question. 'So is anyone going anyplace interesting on holiday then?'
The group of girls began giggling soon, and when Severus glanced over at her from the Slytherin table, Lily seemed happy and carefree, as if their encounter by the lake had never happened.
He tried to catch up to her as she left the Great Hall, but she was still surrounded by the gang of giggling girls, and the thought of approaching her in their company made him sick. He couldn't understand why she hung around those silly Gryffindors, who were always discussing love potions and Quidditch players. He walked behind them, awaiting an opportunity to catch her alone, but the group walked together to the Gryffindor tower portrait hole. Lily didn't even notice him. The fat lady's portrait slammed shut, and he sat in the hallway, cracking open his Potions book, where he could keep an eye on the painting. He would wait for her for as long as it took.
As long as it took was a very long time, Severus began to realize, casting a weary eye on his watch, which now read nine thirty. He had finished all of his homework, not just for tomorrow, but for most of the week, and still there was no sign of Lily. Black and Potter had walked by him, sneering, but Professor McGonagall had been walking by at that moment, so they hadn't gotten a chance to hex him. Finally, at ten, the portrait hole opened, but instead of revealing Lily, another girl had climbed out.
'What do you want?' Mary demanded, arms crossed.
'I don't see how that concerns you,' he said coldly, not looking up at her.
'It does when my own friend can't walk out here because you're stalking her.' She bit back.
'I'm not leaving until I talk to her,' He continued in the same tone. 'Even if it means sleeping here, or staying the rest of the week.'
Mary raised her eyebrows. 'Fine then, I'll tell her so. Maybe she'll make a sacrifice so that we Gryffindors don't have to see your face every time we want to leave.'
Severus didn't say anything, simply kept his eyes on his Potions book as if he hadn't heard her. Avery had been right, wanting to curse the girl. She was outright foul, almost as bad as Potter. Just because her father worked for the Minister himself, she didn't have a right to treat him like scum, he thought angrily, at a wonder for how Lily could possibly tolerate her.
Mary turned and went back through the portrait hole, and Lupin came out, his prefect badge pinned to his robe. Prefect duty.
'What are you doing here, Snape? It's nearly curfew.' Lupin stared at him curiously. Snape replied, in a much frostier tone than the one he'd used with Mary.
'Nothing that concerns you.'
'It concerns me when you're sitting in front of our door. Just get out of here, before…' Lupins trailed off, not wanting to say before James and Sirius come out and do something stupid. But Snape understood, and his pale face lit with the same fury of that afternoon.
'Before what, Lupin? Before your bullying friends come out? Some prefect you are, punishing first years while you break every rule at night with your little friends.'
Remus looked like he wanted to say something, but the hate in Snape's face was so strongly etched that he just kept walking, leaving the pale boy to his book. When he finished his hall patrol, he did not speak to Severus on the way back in, but as he climbed through the portrait hole, he saw Lily staring at her Charms book as if she were looking through it, and he walked her way. Mary had dozed off in a pile of Astronomy charts on the armchair next to her. Remus tapped her shoulder lightly.
'What do you want?' She snapped automatically, expecting James to be goofing off again. But when she looked up, a small bit of remorse crossed her features. 'Sorry, I thought you were someone else…'
Lupin looked at her knowingly, and said quietly, 'He's still outside. I think he wants to see you.'
Lily shook her head and abandoned her Charms book entirely. She stayed put for a few minutes, then went off to her dormitory alone. Remus watched her, nodding along to Sirius' words absentmindedly, as she walked out of the girls' dormitory in her nightgown, and finally climbed through the portrait hole.
As the portrait hole opened, Severus didn't look up, but tensed, as if expecting James or Sirius to stroll out. Instead, he saw two bare feet and the hem of a white dressing gown, and a cold voice said, 'Well? What are you here for?'
He jumped to his feet, dropping the book, gazing into Lily's livid green eyes.
'I'm sorry,' he said earnestly.
'I'm not interested,' She crossed her arms.
'I'm sorry!'
'Save your breath.'
They stared at each other, Severus growing paler and paler, and Lily looking more and more stubborn.
'I only came out because Mary said you were threatening to sleep here.'
'I was. I would have done. Look, I didn't mean to, I was just so angry, it slipped out-'
'Slipped out? Maybe 'Snivellus' just slipped out of Potter's mouth then.' She said, moving her hands to her hips.
'I didn't mean it! Potter is vicious, I'm not like him. He's an arrogant-'
'Well I don't see him calling me names,' she said, knowing it would irk him to see her defend Potter, which was the only reason she did it.
'Of course he doesn't call you names, he fancies you! And by the look of it, you don't think he's so arrogant as you say either!'
A light blush crept up Lily's cheeks. 'I do NOT fancy him!'
Severus looked accusingly at her, and continued. 'But you'd rather defend him than be my friend.'
'If you hadn't noticed, I was defending you, not him. When you snapped at me!' She said, stony again.
'I'm sorry,' Severus almost wailed. Then quietly, almost desperately he tucked his head down and whispered. 'You're my best friend, Lily. Please.'
The memory of standing under the window of the little house at Spinner's End suddenly flew at Lily. Ready to call him to come play, when she'd heard the shouting, the sounds of glass being broken, of heavy objects falling to the ground. The sound of a woman weakly crying out and a little body scampering out of the door, looking into her wide eyes. And Lily looks at him, standing in front of her, his shoulders stooped, his eyes meeting hers in that same look of embarrassment.
'Okay,' she says, and suddenly the she wraps her arms around him, like she did that day. But this time, he doesn't pull away. He breathes in the soft citrus-y smell of her hair, and a relieved little smile plays across his pallid face.