Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I used bits of the book to fit in with my plotline.

Summary: AU. What if he had never called her Mudblood? A short story about the relationship between Lily and Snape, beginning with his worst memory. LilyEvans/SeverusSnape.

Tagline: What if… what if he had never said the cursèd word?

The Prince, the Toerag, and the Lily

Chapter Two

Revisions

Lily sat in a corner of the library, furiously scribbling her Potions essay. A hand suddenly grabbed her quill and she looked up furiously.

'What the hell do you think you're doing, Potter?'

'Rescuing you from your awfully boring homework.'

She frowned, trying to snatch her quill back. 'It's more interesting than your antics, Potter. Give. It. BACK.'

'N.E.W.T's stressing you out, Lily? You know, you could come to Hogsmeade with me and have some fun-'

'I'd rather eat doxy droppings.' She said, looking through her bag for another quill. As soon as she'd pulled it out, James snatched it out of her hand again. Her face reddened with anger, and just as a voice behind her said, 'Leave her alone, Potter', her ink bottle levitated and tipped over his head, ink spilling over his untidy hair, face and glasses.

'Now that wasn't nice, Evans,' Potter said, trying to speak without getting ink in his mouth.

'I told you. Leave. Her. Alone.' The greasy-haired boy behind Lily repeated, and James' wand flew up, but Lily's did too.

'I'll give you the same advice.' Potter said, wand aimed. Lily moved between them.

'Get away from us, Potter.' Lily warned.

'Us?' James wiped ink off his face, glaring at the two of them, now standing nearly side by side. 'I didn't realize there was an 'us'. Evans, you can do better than that.'

Lily reddened, but whether in anger or embarrassment, neither of the boys could tell, and she shoved her homework into her bag and turned on her heel, grabbing Severus' hand and dragging him along with her. With a triumphant smirk, Severus glanced back at James, who had ink dripping down his nose.

But Lily saw him, reading those books about darker magic than she could imagine, and it scared her more than anything else could. She remembered all those things she'd seen at Spinner's End, and it scared her that everyday he grew farther and farther from the little boy she'd met there, who told her about magic. But she stayed by his side, even when she wondered whether Potter might not be so arrogant after all…

After all, Potter was just a spoiled pampered arrogant prick. What would he understand?

The night was crisp and cold, the sky clear. A smattering of stars shone along with the moon, lighting the Hogwarts grounds, reflecting off the snow. A lone figure in a dark cloak and striped scarf hurried from the castle toward the cosy little hut.

From the hut, he heard a soft knock.

He walked to the door, nervously looking around, making sure it was all ready. He opened the door, standing behind it, allowing her to enter without seeing him. He shut the door, and she saw him, crossed her hands immediately and stepped backward.

'What are you doing here, Potter?'

'Call me James, tonight, please?' He studied her, with his hazel eyes, so intently that she felt naked.

'Where's Hagrid? He sent me a note, he wanted me to-'

'He let me borrow the hut for tonight. I told him I wanted to cook you dinner.'

'Cook me dinner?' A little bit of Lily's anger at being set up evaporated. The table was set meticulously, dishes in the centre piled high with meat pies and various types of game and vegetables. On the side, a pitcher full of white lilies gave off a soft scent that mixed with the delicious smells of the food.

'Please?' There was none of the familiar know-it-all arrogance in James' voice. It suddenly sounded almost scared, self-conscious.

Lily stood awkwardly, still examining the room. Finally she gave a half-shrug and took a tiny step away from the door. James grinned, swept behind her, took her cloak and scarf and laid them across Hagrid's bed. He pulled out a chair, and she sat, not quite knowing where to look. He motioned at the food.

'I'd serve you, but I wasn't sure what you like best.' He said, gazing at her as if examining her every eyelash and freckle.

She took a large helping of roast chicken and a sausage with potatoes. She took a bite, James watching her carefully. The smell was incredible, but the taste was even better.

'You didn't cook this, Potter.' She said suspiciously, a tiny smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

He grinned. 'Alright, I didn't. I got it from Hogsmeade. But I figured it wasn't the best way for you to remember our first date, for me to poison you by accident.'

She grinned back, almost involuntarily. 'I appreciate the concern.' She kept eating, not knowing what to say, as James spent more time watching her than actually eating himself. She kept staring straight ahead, but her eyes flitted over to James almost involuntarily between bites.

'So what are you doing after N.E.W.T's then?' She asked, breaking the silence. James dropped the wing he'd been gnawing.

'I'm thinking of working for Gringotts' sometime. But for now, I'll just be taking some time off, maybe go travelling for a bit. My mum and dad want me to see South America before I start work. I've got an aunt there who's never met me.' He said all of this nonchalantly, as if he were simply going to buy a new pair of robes instead of a trip halfway around the world. Lily nearly choked.

James jumped toward her at once. 'You alright?' She nodded.

'D'you wanna come, is that it?' He winked. Normally she would have scoffed at him but she bit her tongue.

'Isn't that a bit expensive? How long are you going for?' Lily pushed away her plate, glancing at the clock hanging over the gigantic stove. It was nearly midnight.

'A bit. My parents don't mind much, I'm their only son. Well, Sirius is their favourite these days, but I've managed to worm out that little trip from them,' he said, running a hand through his hair.

'Oh,' said Lily, envying the ease of the statement. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

'And what are you doing after Hogwarts?'

'Getting a job.'

'What kind of job?'

'The kind that pays,' she said, staring at her plate. 'I don't know, doing Potions work for St. Mungo's, maybe.'

'You know, if you come with me, you won't have to worry about that for a while…' He neared her face, his hazel eyes meeting her green ones. Even though his tone was light, the expression on his face told her he was not joking.

'Come with you? Don't be ridiculous, Potter. Just because I stayed for dinner doesn't mean I've lost my head completely and will agree to go on some trip to visit family halfway 'round the world.' She stared down at her plate, now full of treacle tart. She's always wanted to see Argentina and Brazil, some tiny part of her almost considered what it might be like, but she buried it deeper.

Suddenly James' face was very close, too close, and Lily felt nauseous, and for a brief moment she considered that he may have put something in her pumpkin juice. But the feeling passed as she closed her eyes and felt his lips graze hers.

She kissed him back for a long moment, then pulled away, avoiding his eyes.

'Something wrong?' He asked, studying her.

'N-No.'

'Then why won't you kiss me?'

She looked up at him, startled. 'I just did!'

'Alright then, why'd you stop?'

'Because.' But Lily's mind could not think of a reason she could say. A tiny gnawing part of her thought of seeing Severus in Potions in the morning and how guilty she would feel if he ever found out about Potter's dinner, let alone the kiss. Hadn't she been assuring him that she didn't fancy Potter for nearly four years now?

'Because what?'

'I've got to go,' Lily muttered, picking up her cloak.

'But you haven't finished your food!' James protested, grabbing her scarf and holding it away from her.

'I don't want any more. Give it back, Potter!' She placed her hands on her hips and glared at James, who still held the scarf tightly.

'Not 'til you tell me why.'

'Fine then,' she turned and before he could run after her, she had slammed the door shut and was striding quickly through the snow toward the castle. James sighed. Girls!, he thought, shaking his head, happy one second, angry the next, for no plausible reason. He stared at the half-eaten food, wondering what he'd said wrong. Then he realized he was still holding Lily's scarf and swung it over his own neck before clearing the table.

He was losing her, he could feel it. They still talked, still sat in the courtyard together between lessons, but they ate at separate House tables, she spent more time studying in the Gryffindor Common Room than in the Library with him. She still called Potter an arrogant toerag but he could see her eyes, and he knew she didn't mean it nearly as much as she used to. He saw it all.

So he buried himself deeper into his books, learning of the most complicated magic he had ever heard of, reading of things that most wizards had no idea existed. He wrote to Lucius, who always had a liking for him, even though the two didn't exactly come from the same background. Lucius was always eager to have him over at the Malfoy Manor during holidays, to introduce him to Macnair and Yaxley and other old wizarding families with sons their ages. At first Severus didn't understand why Lucius could possibly like him, but slowly he realized the older boy liked anyone he could show off his wealth and privileged to, anyone who would realize how rare and special it was to be allowed to mix with the oldest pureblood families.

Lily hated his friends, especially Avery. The feeling was mutual. None of them understood how he could be friends with a Mudblood girl like her either. He simply kept his two halves of his life separate, shrugging when one questioned about the other. But as Lily slipped away toward her Gryffindors more and more, he found himself lonelier than ever, a gap in his chest that Lucius and the others could never fill. They could never know, about all the things that he counted on Lily to remember and understand. They could never know about Spinner's End, about his mother and especially his Muggle father. If they found out… well, Severus didn't like to think about that possibility.

'Lily?' He asked, his voice tiny. The sound of her name still sounded like a forbidden, exotic word on his tongue.

'Yeah?'

'What are you doing when-you know, when we leave here?'

'What do you mean, what am I doing? I thought we were going to look into the Potions positions at St. Mungo's together? You haven't forgotten, have you?' She turned, but there wasn't as much enthusiasm in her voice as he wished.

'I haven't, I just wanted to make sure you hadn't.'

'Are you testing me, Sev?' Lily smiled, staring up at the stars. The breeze was warm and it was the perfect night to 'revise for the Astronomy N.E.W.T.' by staring at the clear skies.

'I just want to make sure you haven't changed your mind,' he smiled back. Her hand was only an inch from his own.

'No, I haven't. Have you?'

'No! I'm looking forward to it.'

'Me too. I'm glad we're 'revising' for this together,' she laughed, and he joined in.

'I wish revising were always this nice. We don't revise together nearly enough.'

'Mm-hmm.' She stayed quiet, glad to be lying out on the grounds after being stuck in the library for so many days. 'Sev?'

'Yeah?'

'You think maybe it'd be ok if I took a trip, if the St. Mungo's position doesn't work out?' She asked quietly, almost meekly.

'Trip?' Severus turned his head, tracing her profile with his black eyes. His face fell into a tiny shadow of worry. 'Where to?'

'Mmm, I don't know yet. I'm not sure, I'm just thinking about maybe going. Maybe Brazil.'

'Brazil? Who are you going with?' Severus kept looking at her, trying to figure out why she hadn't told him of this change of plans, why she sounded so guilty when she said it.

'Oh, I don't know that I'm going yet. Only if it doesn't work out, with Potions.' She kept staring at the sky, at the full moon shining down on them, avoiding his eyes.

'Potions position?' repeated the curt blond witch behind the desk. 'You must have at least five years experience to apply, and you two don't look a month out of Hogwarts. Come back when you've got the proof you can actually make a decent Potion.'

Lily and Severus stared at her, not knowing quite what to say. He regained his sense of speech first and his face rearranged in a nasty scowl, which the witch did not see because she had barely glanced in their direction. But before he could reply with whatever nasty retort he'd thought up, Lily tugged him aside.

'Why didn't it say that on the careers pamphlet?' she protested.

'I bet it's not even true, I bet she just didn't like the look of me so she made that up,' he muttered, still glaring at the woman.

'Oh Sev, you think everyone's out to get you!' Lily watched him scowling at the desk, and a flash of irritation crossed her face. 'I bet she just gets loads of unqualified people coming in asking about jobs, that's all. We've got to figure out how to prove that we're good in Potions.'

'I'm not proving anything to those snobs,' Severus retorted.

When Lily didn't answer, he quietly added, 'What now?'