Disclaimer-I do not own 7th heaven or any of its characters or places.

Authors note- Im sorry for the short chapters. They will get longer as the story progresses. Please Review I would love to hear some feedback and ideas

Chap. 2

Ruthies POV

I knew everyone listening because when I ran upstairs to my room they just let me be. I sat at the edge of my bed and cried. I don't know what was getting to me. I know T-bone just broke up with me, but how come I don't care? Im crying yet I don't care he broke up with me. I tried to process all of this in my mind. I know I didn't like T-bone. I mean I liked him but as a friend, I never loved him. I wanted things to go fast but why? Why did I want T-bone so close to me when I didn't feel a connection there? But inside I knew what it was. I knew all along that the reason why I could not fall in love with T-bone is because of Martin. I loved Martin. I thought he was the one. When he got Sandy pregnant my whole world crashed down on me, but when he came back and we kissed, I really thought he would love me. But who was I kidding? I mean Ordinary, brown haired, brown eyed, Short, Ruthie Camden against tall blonde headed perfect Jane.

As I thought about Jane and him, I started to think about that one night when I made the most important decision I ever had to make and that decision was the wrong decision. I remember it like it was yesterday

Flashback

"Martin your not in love with me I really am like a sister to you, and when you do find the right woman to be with Ill be happy to babysit for you ok"

"But all this time you've been like wanting to go out with me and now that I want to go out with you"

"It's too late, I found someone else"

"for now but your 17 maybe you'll change your mind"

"I can't I have his name tattooed on my back"

"Why did you do that?"

"I don't know it was an impulse a bad impulse it was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life"

"So your staying with him because of a stupid mistake"

"He is staying with me, were staying together, and if were lucky we will be together for the rest of our lives"

"Well his mother is you know"

"I know and despite how she treated him and who she is the fact that he treats me and other women so respectively it just amazes me, he amazes me, Im in love with T-bone

"So you don't think you'll be taking off for Scotland next year when you graduate"

"If I go I am dragging T-bone with me, he loves Scotland I mean there's a whole world out there, a whole world that I want to see and I want to see it with him, maybe we will go somewhere we've never been for college or maybe well take a year off after highschool and just travel together I don't know what will happen but I know how I feel"

"Well someday I hope to find a woman that feels the same way about me"

we Hugged

"Bye Martin"

"Bye Ruthie

End flashback

Why did I do that? Who am I kidding I know exactly why I did that. I wanted to get Martin back for what he did to me. I wanted to break his heart the way he broke mine two times. Maybe I shouldn't have done that? I also didn't want to fall in his trap again. I loved him when he told me this but I didn't want to get my heart broken by him for the third time. When I told him I was in love with T-bone and I saw the hurt expression in him I felt bad and I was surprised. I didn't love T-bone. I loved Martin. When I talked about T-bone and I traveling different places together, my stomach was churning the whole time. I mean I could not stand being with him for so long a time. After we hugged, I realized that would be the last time I would get to speak to Martin. I said "Bye Martin" and when he told me Bye I felt disced. I don't know why I did but I did. Was it because I felt he didn't try hard enough to win my love? Maybe he was just testing himself to see if he really loved me. Now that T-bone is history, I wish I had never made that foolish mistake. I wish I could take back time and tell Martin that I love him and he is the only one for me not stupid T-bone. Why did I tell him ⌠ If we were lucky we could spend all our lives together? Was I trying to make him jealous? I don't know but all I know is I miss Martin. He was my best friend, my protector, and most importantly my true love. But now it's too late. I screwed up my chance with him and I have to move on. Here it goes again.