Disclaimer-I do not own 7th heaven or any of its characters or places

Authors Note- This chapter is Martins POV. I am going to try and update this story alot. Please leave some reviews with your thoughts and what I should do next

Chap 3

Martins POV

It has been one long summer I thought to myself as I sat on my couch. I had been practicing for baseball all summer. I think I've gotten way better because I put all my work into playing. In 30 minutes I will have to go back down to Glenoak to visit my son. I Martin Brewer am a dad. It is still weird for me. I love my son more than anything in the world but I don't see myself as a parent. When I first found out, I was going to be a parent I did what I always do. I ignored the situation. I thought that if you ignored something things will start to get back to normal. But ignoring the fact that im going to be a father is something you just can't ignore. So when Erin was born I come to realization that I would have to take responsibility and be a man. So I moved away from Glenoak and moved to my own apartment near Sandy and Erin. But when I moved there was one thing I always thought of and tried to keep out of my mind. That one thing was a person. That person was Ruthie Camden. I sat up countless hours just thinking of Ruthie. I thought I only thought of her as a sister when I was at Glenoak but I realize now that I just said that to myself. I liked Ruthie a lot. She meant a lot to me. The one night I replay in my mind is the night I told Ruthie I got Sandy pregnant. That night was horrible. Ruthie thought I loved her and I did lead her on. The truth was I did love her. When She kept hitting me that night it felt horrible. My whole world went crashing down. My heart ached for Ruthie and I just wanted to hold her and take her hurt away. I held her that night. That night I came to realize I really do love Ruthie, but I had Sandy now. I had to act as though Ruthie was someone I only loved as a family member. I remember being jealous of the many guys in Ruthies life. Those guys took Ruthie for granted. Those stupid guys. Vincent he got on my nerves. Why would someone dump a beautiful, smart ,nice girl? But then I would be a hypocrite to say anything about the other guys. I mean I took Ruthie for granted.

I remember talking to Jane that night and finding out that T-bone and Ruthie had split. He had broken up with her. I was so excited that I called Ruthie and told her I would pick her up and take her to school the next morning. I took Ruthie to school and we hung out. It was as if we were reliving the past. But there was something different. I felt weird. I don't know what it was but I still didn't want to admit to liking Ruthie Camden. So I kissed Jane the same night Ruthie and I kissed. Jane's kiss was nothing like Ruthie's kiss. Ruthie's kiss made my heart jump and electricity flow through my body. When Ruthie told me she found out, I felt bad, for I had broken Ruthies heart two times. When I went home, I thought about Ruthie as much as I think about her now. I can still remember that night at the hospital when I told Ruthie I liked her and T-bone ruined it.

Flashback

"Ruthie"

"Please Martin you don't have to say anything all right"

"Believe me I do, Ruthie I lived at your house, you were like a little sister to me and then you grew up, and then I grew up and Sandy and I had a baby, well at least I tried to grow up, and I tried to do the right thing and Marry Sandy it's what I felt I should do I love my son and Id do anything for him and I really do care about her but my heart was just never really in it, and that's maybe why I screwed up, I guess I really had never had wanted anything to work out and whatever chance I had with her with a relationship a romantic relationship, well I screwed that up"

"Isn't this a conversation you should be having with Sandy"

"That's ugh kind of funny because I've had this conversation with Sandy this was our Conversation last weekend when she told me she was marrying Jonathon the doctor she has been going out with, but we didn't talk like you and I talk it was more of . . . ugh . . . more of a lecture from her than a conversation"

"You're all over the place what are you trying to say to me and whatever it is you should start with an apology for not telling me that you were also dating Jane"

"Im sorry, I am, I like Jane she's really attractive but not as attractive as you Im really physically attracted to you and it feels incredibly awkward saying that and also I can't talk to Jane the way I talk to you and I think that if we can just start over, if we can agree to date each other and not date anyone else and you can let me be more than a friend I think we can be really good together"

"What"

"I keep trying to treat you like a friend or like a sister but you're older now Im older and I don't see you that way, we did kiss"

"yeah we did"

When she said that I had hope, that shed forgive me and say she wanted to date me. But then T-bone showed up. He ruined the moment. I let him know that I was interested in Ruthie and he still went for her. What does she see in T-bone? If only I tried harder in the car. Im so stupid. She liked me and I knew it but I didn't take my chance. Then she told me she was in love with T-bone. When she said that my heart felt as though ten million daggers pierced through it. Te idea of Ruthie being with someone other than me is hard to believe. I don't trust T-bone one bit. Not only the thought of them holding hands but sleeping together. I mean I know Ruthie is a sexual being and that she may not want to wait for marriage like her other siblings. I have a feeling that T-bone wont try and stop her either. I kinda always thought that Ruthie and I would share our first time together. But I had to screw that up and sleep with Sandy.

Rose introduced Sandy and I. I was young and Sandy was HOT. When we were in her room and making out it felt right. I was scared and I had no condom on me. She told me that I didn't need to worry because she was having her cycle. She laughed at my innocence, but afterwards I felt weird. I liked her but I didn't love her. I still can't believe I did that. Why did I go against my morals? When I came home and saw Ruthie I felt like she knew what happened. I felt like a cheater. Ruthie and I were not dating but I felt ashamed. Then Sandy came back and the rest is history.

I had been thinking for more than 40 minutes when I realized that I was gonna be late. Sandy is going to be mad. Wait she won't be mad because she is with Jonathon. I took my time getting my keys because I knew that when I get to Glenoak I would have to see Ruthie and T-bone being all lovey dovey. I stepped out of the door and went to my car. Then I looked at my mirror and with a big sigh said "Glenoak here I come"

Next Chapter Ruthie and Martin see each other for the first time in two months.