Wow! Thanks for the support you guys! Hope you continue to enjoy!

I'm not sure if I want to have any serious pairings. I was just gonna do this all for humor, but now I'm getting ideas. What do you guys think?

Read and Review no Jutsu!

Who Says Konoha is Peaceful?

Chapter Two: Sasuke learns something about girls

"Start from the beginning, dobe."

"Why? I already read that part."

"But I didn't."

"So?"

"SO...I want to read it."

Naruto made no effort to go back. "So? There's nothing interesting on the first pages. You won't miss anything."

"Then why were you laughing?" Sasuke grabbed at the diary. "Gimme that!"

Naruto held it off to the side, out of Sasuke's reach. "No way!"

Sasuke suddenly pointed. "LOOK! Ramen!"

"Where!" When Naruto turned to look, Sasuke lunged and plucked the pink book out of the blond's hands.

"Idiot," he said with a smirk.

"HEY!" Naruto squawked. He tried to grab it back but failed miserably. He crossed his arms and pouted.

"HEY!" Sasuke suddenly exclaimed. "You said she didn't mention me at all. She didn't mention anything! She just wrote out part of a medicine jutsu here!"

Naruto smirked. "Toldja you weren't missing out."

Sasuke glared at him. "Then what were you laughing at?"

"Oh, just knowing that I was holding the diary in my hands made me happy," Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke hmph'd and turned the page. A few seconds later: "You liar, my name's in here like five times!"

Naruto leaned over to scan the page. "Sasuke, she's talking about how funny it is that the word 'uke' is part of your name, and maybe that's why you never seem to go out with girls."

Sasuke gaped at him, then back at the diary, speechless.

Naruto stared at him. "What? You mean you didn't even read the paragraph, you were just looking for your name! GEEZ! You ego-manic!"

"Hmph," Sasuke grumped. Naruto rolled his eyes. Sasuke read the passage more in-depth-ly.

Dear Diary,

Well, I was over Hinata's complaining about how I try and try but Sasuke-kun just never seems to notice me. She made the comment that he never really looks at girls. Then Neji stuck his head in the room and said, "Maybe Sasuke...you know...doesn't like girls. After all, 'uke' is in his name..."

Oh, I can barely talk about it! It was so embarrassing! See, I tried to attack him and then Hinata tried to hold me back and then I knocked the kitchen table over and it broke...

Neji-baka is a jerk-face. Hmm...but now I'm curious. I mean, the "uke" is in his name, see? Sas-UKE. Weird. Sighh... He is just so beautiful... But kinda scrawny. I mean, even NARUTO has a better 6-pack. Okay, well I'm gonna go eat now! I'm going to the barbecue place with Ino. Ja!

"WHAT?" Sasuke exclaimed in disbelief. "Sakura dissed me? Sakura dissed me??

Naruto started laughing. "The lady hath spoken! I win! You suck!"

Sasuke whapped the blond over the head with the diary and scowled darkly. He made a mental note to kill Neji for the uke comment. I would so be seme... Sasuke thought. If I was gay. Which I'm not. I bet Itachi is gay. Oooh I'm gonna kill him! I'll drive a stake right through that bastard's heart! Mwahahahahah...

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Sasuke, who was laughing evilly under his breath. What a weirdo, he thought.

Sasuke stopped cackling when he saw the weird look Naruto was giving him. He coughed. "Well! I wonder what else she wrote in here."

Sasuke turned the page. Naruto scooted closer so he could read too.

Dear Diary, how are you?

I was over Hinata's again. It's been awkward ever since the table incident, but talking about Sasuke with Ino is just not possible (She gets too weird!). She mentioned how curious it was that after Tenten got over her crush on Neji and stopped fawning over him, he suddenly started to show interest in her. Weird, huh? Maybe I should try that. I mean, not with Neji, of course.

OKAY! Starting tomorrow, I will no longer fawn over Sasuke-kun! It'll be hard, but nothing else has worked yet, so hey! Sighh... He is so beautiful... (There was a poor drawing of Sasuke in Lee's "Nice Guy" pose here. Shirtless.) He could use a tan, though.
Sighh... This is gonna be hard, but I'll stick to it!

Oh, and did I mention! It was like a miracle! KAKASHI WASN'T LATE TODAY! But I think that was just because he told us the wrong meeting point and just so happened to be walking through... BUT STILL! Well, I'm going to bed now. We have practice early tomorrow. Ja!

Sasuke looked up from the diary. Ah, so that's why she hasn't been waiting for me, Sasuke thought. I thought something weird was going on! HAH, but now I know her secret! And it won't work on me!

Meanwhile, Naruto was making a mental note to try the not-fawning-over-so-they-fall-for-you trick with Sakura himself.

Sasuke went to turn the page. "WAIT!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke looked at him. "What is it, dobe?"

"…I'm not done yet!"

"...So, you're a slow reader, huh?" Sasuke said with a smirk. "Well, I don't feel like waiting for you!"

"Hey, I know how we can finish at the same time!" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Naruto took the cue to continue. "You can read it to me!"

"...Are you joking? Why the hell would I read to you??" Sasuke demanded.

Naruto folded his arms, looking smug. "Well, I'd read out loud but I'm too slow. And if nobody reads out loud, then you'll have to keep waiting for me to catch up. And the longer we take to read this, the more likely it is that someone will find us and rat us out. And then Sakura-chan would kill us!"

Sasuke glared at his blond friend. "That's ridiculous. I am not reading to you."

"DO YOU WANT SAKURA-CHAN TO KILL US!" Naruto yelled dramatically, complete with waving arms for emphasis.

"Alright! Alright, fine!" Sasuke slapped his forehead. "Just because I want you to shut up."

Naruto hid a triumphant grin. See? If they don't listen, yell louder until they do! Heheh... Naruto leaned back against the tree.

Sasuke sighed deeply before turning the page and reading the next entry, completely in monotone.

"Dear Diary, how was your day? ("Wow, she asked her diary how its day was?" Sasuke asked incredulously. Naruto scowled. "Oh shut up and just read the damn thing," he replied.)

"Acting indifferent towards Sasuke-kun is way harder than I thought! But I'm hanging in there! Ino actually asked me if I was sick!

"In other news, Lee asked me to go out with him AGAIN. I'm sorry, but until he shaves those eyebrows down a little and throws away the green spandex, I am not going ANYWHERE with him. Although I must admit that spandex really does show off the muscles... But green! Maybe he should invest in black instead. (Sasuke gagged here.)

"On the other hand... If I go out with Lee, then that would enforce the image of me being over Sasuke-kun! Then he'll fall in love with me! (Sasuke REALLY started gagging here.) But I couldn't do that to poor Lee. Hm... Maybe Naruto...? (Naruto: "HEY!") Nah, I'm just too nice!

"On a completely unrelated (but not really) note, I had another dream about Sasuke-kun. See, I was in my room studying a new medicine jutsu when he came in through my window. I said, "Sasuke-kun, is that you?" and he said, "Of course, who else?" He came over and sat on my desk. It was then that I noticed he was wearing this really tight black leather. It was so hot! Well, then he started to twirl something shiny in his fingers and I realized he had HANDCUFFS! Then he leaned in really close and whispered "I've been wanting this for a long-"

The words died on Sasuke's tongue. His mouth fell open and he gaped, face red. His eyes wandered across the rest of the page; he opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words came out. He turned to Naruto, whose expression mirrored his own. "...D...do you still want me to read this to you?"

Naruto violently shook his head. "Nononononononooo..."

Sasuke slumped backwards against the tree and exhaled deeply. "Whoa..."

Naruto was twitching. "I feel so...unclean." He shuddered.

Sasuke stared at the diary. "I had no idea girls had dreams like that. I thought only guys had...erm...impure dreams..." he muttered, dazed.

Naruto stared at him. "Wait, you've had dirty dreams before? Wow, you're such a perv!"

Sasuke's mouth fell open again. He was suddenly VERY embarrassed. "Wha...y-you... I mean...uh...I don't...uh...wait..."

All of a sudden, Naruto laughed and slapped his friend on the back. "Aw, I'm just messing with ya! Everybody has dreams like that!"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to yell at the blond...then realized that he couldn't really say anything without embarrassing himself further. So Sasuke just shut the diary. "Hn. I think that's enough for one night. It's getting really dark."

To his surprise, Naruto nodded. He plucked Sakura's diary from Sasuke's hands and looked at it. "Yeah, as it is I'm gonna be spending like four hours trying to scrub those images from my brain!" Naruto made an I-think-I'll-gonna-puke face.

Sasuke sighed and honestly couldn't argue. "Let's get going then." He went to take the diary from Naruto.

Naruto snatched it away. "Nu-uh! I'm keeping it!"

"Why?"

"Finders keepers!" Naruto said stubbornly.

Sasuke sighed again. "Fine." He turned away.

Naruto grinned smugly. Oh yes, I won! Naruto was very happy.

For about two seconds.

"Oomph!" went Naruto as Sasuke line-tackled him into the dirt. "HEY!"

Sasuke grabbed at the diary. Naruto held on as tight as he could while trying to kick away the Uchiha gone mad. The blond rolled onto his stomach, holding the pink book under his chest.

"Why the hell do you want it so bad!" Naruto squawked. He attempted to knee Sasuke in the gut but kept missing. After all, it's kind of hard to knee someone while they're behind you.

"Just because!" Sasuke didn't feel like mentioning that the only reason he wanted the diary was so that the dobe couldn't have it.

Suddenly Naruto had an idea. (That's an oxymoron, but go along with it.)

He stuck the diary down his shirt.

"HAH! Now you can't get it!" Naruto laughed triumphantly as Sasuke stopped his attack to stare at him.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Dobe, why would I care if you stuck it down your shirt? You aren't a girl." With that, he lunged again.

Sakura hopped through the trees. Naruto and Sasuke hadn't come back yet, and she was getting worried. Not so much about Naruto, but still.

She retraced their steps from earlier in the day. It was late, and the last rays of sunlight filtered through the trees.

Suddenly, she heard scuffling. A few more feet brought her to the source of the sound. She hopped off her tree and her jaw dropped in pure, undiluted horror.

Naruto was flat on the ground.

Sasuke was on top of him.

Naruto had his leg in a very...questionable spot. (He had previously been trying to kick Sasuke in the family jewels.)

Sasuke had his hand up Naruto's shirt.

Both seemed to be out of breath.

You can see where this is headed, ne?

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next time: How will the two boys get themselves out of this mess! What other secrets (Secrets? Yeah right.) will Sakura's diary hold?

Let me know how you liked it! Or (heaven forbid) didn't like it.