Hello and holy shit, everybody! The results of that pairings/romance poll are officially IN! (I got like three times my usual amount of reviews for the last chapter. Hmm, maybe I should to polls more often... :looks thoughtful:)
And the winner is!
B. SasuNaru/NaruSasu with 41votes! ...Daaaamn, I knew a lot of you wanted it, but I didn't know there were that many of you! XD
To put it in perspective, there were 86 votes and second place was F. Nothing real, but lots more suggestive-ness with...13. So... Yeah, that was pretty overwhelming.
But to the 10 of you who voted D. I will personally quit your fict if you make it real shonen-ai/yaoi, you don't have to worry, necessarily. After all, this poll was just to give me an idea of what you readers want to see.
My second Beta (and a very good friend of mine) gave me the following advice: "This is your story, write what YOU want to happen and everybody else can go fuck themselves." And while I do want to make the majority of you happy, if I don't write the way I feel things should go, then it's not gonna be any good because I'll be forcing it. I'll be keeping the poll results in mind, but do know that the 15-20 unsigned reviews that screamed "SASUNARU RULES! B!" will not weigh as heavily as the ones from those of you who left actual reviews (praise, critiques, etc).
In the end, you know what they say: Try to please everybody and ya end up pleasing nobody. I haven't decided how it's all gonna work out yet, but time will tell! (Though I can definitely say there will be no pairings with Hinata (aka NaruHina or SasuHina) because I am extremely disinterested in her. Um...Sorry...)
Read and Review no Jutsu!
Who Says Konoha is Peaceful?
Chapter Eight: Romantically Disinclined
Tap, tap, tap...
Sasuke cracked one eye open. It was Sunday morning, around seven o'clock. Sasuke rarely stayed in bed so late – even on days when he did not have group training he usually got up around six – but given the recent turn of events, he was seriously contemplating staying there for the rest of his life.
Tap! Tap! Tap!
Naruto was at the window; Sasuke could recognize the blond's chakra signature anywhere. Plus he was the only person imprudent enough to be outside his window at seven in the morning. Couldn't that idiot knock at the door like a NORMAL human being?? It was much easier to pretend you weren't home when he wasn't watching you from your window.
TAP. TAP. TAP.
"LEMME IN, DAMMIT!"
Sasuke gritted his teeth and burrowed further into his blankets. What was that guy doing here anyways?! After last night, this ought to be the last place Naruto would want to show up at.
TAP! TAP! TA-KSSSSCHHHH!!!
NARUTOOO! Sasuke screamed in his mind. His arms tightened around his face, but he refused to get up and acknowledge Naruto's presence.
"...Oops, sorry," Naruto shrugged, not really sounding sorry at all. He hopped inside, making sure to crunch extra-loudly on the broken glass now decorating Sasuke's bedroom floor, and plopped down on the Uchiha's bed. "...Oh come on, teme. You're gonna have to try harder than that."
"...What are you doing here?! Go away!"
Naruto responded by poking his cheek repeatedly. "No way, Sasuke. What, you just gonna sit here and mope all day? Don't worry, I don't think anyone saw me."
Sasuke swatted at the offending hand. "Stop touching me! Go away!"
Naruto sighed and flopped over onto his back, propping his arms behind his head. Sasuke started to fidget, and ended up scooting away to the opposite edge of the bed. If this was part of Naruto's ploy to get him up...it was working.
"What do you want, dobe?"
Naruto rolled to his side and hung one arm over in front of Sasuke's face. "Your fanclub left me a present in my mailbox this morning."
Sasuke blinked and brought himself to focus on Naruto's hand. It looked...perfectly normal. Sasuke told Naruto so, and tried to push back the arm and reclaim his personal space. But Naruto held fast.
"Well, duh! It healed up already! But seriously, it hurt like a bitch!" Naruto whined.
Sasuke sighed and finally sat up. "What was it?" He asked as indifferently as possible.
"Exploding tags," Naruto answered nonchalantly.
Sasuke scowled. Of course, he knew about Naruto's past history with the villagers – this wasn't the first time people showed hostility to Naruto, and Naruto was quite sensitive to it. Not that he'd ever admit it, no; Naruto usually put on a smile and shook it off.
Sasuke hated that.
"What kind of loser ninja gets caught by such a low-level trap?"
...Not that he'd let onto it, of course. Sasuke had an image to keep up, after all.
"TEME!!" Naruto yelled, shoving him roughly. Then the blond crossed his arms and puffed out his cheeks, grumbling something about "heartless bastards."
"Clumsy idiot," Sasuke responded with a quirk of his lips. "So, did you smash my window just to tell me about your mailbox, or is there anything else?"
"Oh yeah, there is," Naruto jerked his thumb towards the window. "Sakura stopped by this morning and said Kakashi wants us to help decorate for that festival. It's gonna be pretty sweet! Gaara's coming tomorrowvand everything!" (Sasuke gave an unenthusiastic grumble. After all, he and Gaara weren't exactly close. In fact, the only reason they tolerated each other was because of Naruto.)
"What time?"
Naruto shrugged. "We're supposed to meet at the Academy at eight for instructions and materials, so we've got about forty-five minutes to kill. I'm gonna go get some breakfast, you wanna come?"
Breakfast with Naruto meant ramen and old milk. "No," Sasuke grunted, stepping onto the floor. "Now get out of my bedroom and make sure nobody sees you leave."
Naruto smirked. "What, suppose someone'll think we—"
"Don't finish that, just go," Sasuke interrupted with a scowl. He gestured towards the shattered glass on the floor. "But you're going to come back later to clean up that mess you made over there." Naruto let out a short laugh, clapped his friend on the shoulder, and was gone out the same way he came in.
-Later-
At a quarter before eight, Naruto moseyed into the Academy, his belly happy and full of ramen. He quickly spotted his teammates, Sakura in her bright, happy red and white, and Sasuke in his moody, melancholy black and blue. Naruto squealed out his usual greeting of "SAKURA-CHAAAAAN!" and plopped himself down between her and Sasuke on the bench-like seat. Not that they had left a seat for Naruto to plop down in, but that didn't stop him. He ended up sitting half on Sakura's lap and half on Sasuke's. Sakura shoved the blond away with an indignant yelp, while Sasuke hastily scooted out from under him.
"Naruto, don't be rude!"
"Don't touch me, clumsy idiot."
"Both my teammates hate me!" Naruto pretended to cry. Sakura rolled her eyes and smacked him, and Sasuke pretended to be pleased with himself.
Meanwhile, Ino had her eye on the two males of Team Seven. She wasn't going to waste any time mourning her unrequited love (though she would still jump at a chance to go out with Sasuke-kun). Since he was unavailable, Ino decided to settle for the next best thing:
She definitely had to see Sasuke and Naruto kiss.
And because she figured that there was little to no chance of any true public displays of affection – this was Sasuke we're dealing with – that just meant she'd have to...orchestrate something. She had debated using her mind-controlling jutsu on Naruto (Sasuke would probably be able to counter it), but decided against it. She didn't trust herself enough for that; what if she got caught up in the moment and confessed her love in Naruto's body? That would really just screw things up even more. Luckily, there were a few other options. Ino cackled under her breath and could only hope that Iruka and the other teachers didn't show up before she put her plan into action...
"...You have got to be kidding me," Shikamaru gawked, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"Pleeeeeease?" Ino gave him her best puppy-dog eyes.
"No way," the Chuunin shook his head. "It would be wrong of me to abuse my abilities in such a manner. I'm supposed to set an example for others, and my duties won't allow me to use my power in a way that harms my own comrades."
"It's just a kiss!" Ino tried to reason. "It's not like I'm asking you to break his arm or anything!"
Shikamaru stretched and shrugged. "Well, plus whatever happens to them will happen to me, and I'm not particularly interested in discovering what it feels like to make out with a guy."
Ino scowled at him. Yeah, right, she thought, I knew it wasn't about ethics. Since when has Mr. Lazy-Ass cared about setting a good example? Well, time for Plan B...
Ino stood up and strolled casually over to where Team Seven seated. She struck up a small conversation with Sakura while paying close attention to the other two. Naruto was sitting on the table, kicking his legs back and forth in his usual impatient manner. Sasuke had one arm propping his chin up, pointedly not facing his blond teammate. Well, that wouldn't work; the two needed to face each other!
"Hey Sasuke-kuuuun, how are you this morning?" Ino purred. Sakura gave her a questioning look. Naruto twisted around, wanting to see how the Uchiha responded. Sasuke gave a noncommittal grunt and got up to move elsewhere.
Perfect!
"Whoopsie!" Ino suddenly cried out, pretending to lose her balance. She threw her arm out and shoved Naruto as hard as she could at Sasuke.
Sasuke stepped sideways. Naruto crashed to the floor.
"OOW!" Naruto howled.
"Ahahah, sorry! Clumsy me!" Ino fake-laughed, rubbing the back of her head. Damn, Plan B was a total failure!
Both Sasuke and Sakura raised suspicious eyebrows. Naruto scowled and nursed the lump on his skull. Before any questions could be asked, there were several poofs and clouds of smoke, signaling the arrival of the teachers. Ino quickly scooted back to her teammates.
Half an hour later, after all the necessary supplies had been handed out, the ninja of Konoha took to the streets. Over the course of several hours, streamers and Chinese lanterns were strung up, colorful banners were stretched across the narrow streets, walls were painted and trash was disposed of. Everything was coming along beautifully.
Except, of course, for the sector that Naruto was responsible for painting.
"AHHHH SHIIIT!"
Riiiiip KRSSSCH ba-LOOSH!
Naruto had slipped on a patch of wet paint and grabbed a nearby banner in the hopes of steadying himself. Except the banner ripped, Naruto fell into some tables, and his bucket of paint followed close behind.
"Narutooooo!" screamed Sakura, who was hanging streamers nearby. "It's not even noon and you've already caused a catastrophe!"
Naruto heaved himself out of the rubble, scowling with indignity. "Well it's not like I MEANT to! Geez!"
Sakura sighed and shook her head. She was trying not to burst out laughing at the sight of her blond teammate, as he was completely covered in the off-white paint. "I think you've got more paint on you that you got on that wall!"
Naruto crossed his arms and huffed. "And I don't have any left! Great, what'm I supposed to do now??"
"Well, I guess you have to go get more paint," Sakura shrugged. "Better get going, huh?"
Naruto grumbled and stomped off to change and find more paint. After about a block, he wasn't leaving cream-colored footprints anymore (something that was driving the others nuts), but the viscous liquid was still wet and slowly oozed down his face and neck. Also, he was well aware of the snickers and giggles that seemed to be following him everywhere. Naruto hoped desperately that he wouldn't run into Sasuke before he got new clothes.
"Tch, you are such a useless klutz, dobe."
Well, screw that, Naruto scowled. "Asshole."
"Dumbass."
"Scrawny bastard."
"Clumsy oaf."
"Ice queen."
"Fashion-disaster."
"Hey, at least my hair doesn't look like a chicken's ass!"
OH NO HE DIDN'T!! Sasuke twitched and his lip lifted into a snarl. He was about to retaliate physically when he noticed...everyone else in the area was watching them, with that look in their eyes... Oh damn, some were even pointing and whispering!
"Get out of here, dobe," Sasuke said firmly.
He was blatantly ignored. "Hey, where can I get more paint?" Naruto asked.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You don't need any more. Just go roll against the wall or something."
"Bastard!" Naruto made to shove Sasuke, but the Uchiha slid out of the way.
"I do not want to be seen in public with you," Sasuke hissed quietly, eyes darting to and from the people not-so-discreetly studying them.
"Why?" Naruto demanded in a hushed tone. "We're friends and I don't care if people I don't even know believe some stupid rumor! It shouldn't change anything between us!"
Sasuke stared at him. Why the sudden outburst? Sasuke knew friendship was particularly important to Naruto, but couldn't he understand the gravity of this situation? Sasuke had to uphold the village's expectations of him, for the sake of the Uchiha Clan's remaining honor.
"Some people have dignity, idiot. Go home and change."
Naruto scoffed. "Don't be embarrassed of me, teme. There are other things to worry about!"
Sasuke snorted and turned his back to Naruto so as to fasten a lantern to a cord. "Oh? Such as?"
"Oh...nevermind," Sasuke missed Naruto's ear-to-ear leer. The blond definitely wanted to get him back for all the teasing and etcetera. "See you around...DEAR."
SMACK.
Sasuke's entire body jolted at the blow. He felt the lightning race down to his toes and up the back of his neck. His face immediately reddened as he whirled around, fully intent on tearing off his best friend's fucking hands.
But Naruto was already gone.
And so Sasuke was stuck, in a busy street for all to see...with a perfect white handprint...
...On his ass.
Well, I had wanted to make this chapter longer, but it just seemed like such a perfect place to end...
Hope you enjoyed! Lemme know what you think!
Oh, and here are the complete results of the voting poll, in winning order. I didn't put them in the first author's note because it was getting waaay too long.
B. SasuNaru/NaruSasu - 41
F. Nothing real, but lots more suggestive-ness! - 13
C. Other (suggested couples were SasuSaku, NaruHina, SasuHina, NejiTen, NejiGaara, LeeGaara, and others) - 11
D. I will personally quit your fict if you make it real shonen-ai/yaoi. - 10
A. NaruSaku - 8
E. Any real romance will ruin this! - 3