Chapter 9:
The day of battle had arrived and the day for the knights to return to their rightful home. I came into the stables to see the knights off. Galahad stood with Gawain as they chatted with one another, I spotted Vanora and Bor's packing up to leave, Dagonet and Tristan packing what little valuables they had as they chatted excitedly.
I did not see Arthur amongst them as I gazed about the room, I searched for Lancelot as well as I didn't see him, feeling the dispair building up that he would not allow me to say goodbye.
Galahad spotted me first and strolled over as I gave him a brave smile and embraced him tightly as he practically swept me off my feet.
"Is it true that you will not return with us?" he wondered. He pulled back to search my face for any signs of false report but I only gazed at him sadly. He saw the look upon my face and nodded in understanding.
"Please return to us all, espically Lancelot. He will not be able to bear it if he lost you" he murmured low for Lancelot just entered the stables. I gave Galahad another hug as I gazed at Lancelot who seemed intent in packing, dressed in his armor as he began to pack up his belongings upon Bear. I pulled away from Galahad and began to hug the others as well just as Arthur entered the stables, I did not see Guinevere by his side and I knew she had gone to prepare for battle herself.
I finished giving the others hugs as I strolled over towards Lancelot who was strapping on his twin blades upon his back and glanced up as I approached.
"Lancelot I beg of you please lets not depart angry at one another, I cannot bear the idea of you cross at me. Place yourself in my position please" I pleaded with him. Lancelot tightened his blades as he spun to face me.
"I am not cross just afraid. Afraid of losing both Arthur and you. I understand now what it is that you need to do that is why I am staying as well" he remarked. I reeled back in surprise at his admittance and his statement of staying as well.
"What? But your all ready to go, now your going to stay? No Lancelot I cannot..." He cut me off with the wave of his hand.
"Why its ok for you to stay behind but for us it is not?" he asked, a tad bit annoyed. I shook my head at the irony of it all then I gave him my answer.
"For someone has too build a home for me to return too" I cracked but I saw that he wasn't amused. I sighed as I cupped his cheek.
"Lancelot return home, that is an order" I remarked sternly. He narrowed his eyes as he spun about and stalked off. I drew in a shaky breath as I watched him walk away then I saw Arthur walk towards me but I merely pointed towards Lancelot, for him to go to Lancelot then with one last glance I spun around and headed back towards inside so that I could prepare for battle. The anguish heavy in my heart but to concentrate on the battle to come I pushed aside the feeling as I picked up a pair of black tight strapped leggings that criss-crossed along the sides, I wore a criss-crossed halter top of dark, satin red as I showed the henna tattoes I had on my arms as well as my lower back, which I learned from a ingredient my grandmother had given me long ago. My hair was pulled up in a bun as a few strands of curls hung around me then I grabbed my sword, dagger and ax as well.
I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw that I seemed far from a lady which I couldn't help but smile at then I headed out the door just as Arthur came out of his chambers as well, dressed for battle and we checked the other over then Arthur gave me a sad smile.
"Just like old times eh?" he wondered. I merely nodded as I straigtened up my stance as he asked me with his eyes if I was ready for this. I nodded once more which he nodded in return then head held high he walked forth as I followed towards the stables to where our horses sat, I strolled over to my beautiful tanned arabian horse named Aurora. I whispered to her in Farsi which she snorted as she nudged against my cheek in happiness. Arthur gazed in awe.
"I always wondered how in the world you manage to calm that horse down. Every since you had disappeared she became lost and bad tempered" he explained.
I felt the pain of even my horses suffering as well but I was here to change all of that, though I did not know what the future would bring but I held what faith I did believe in within the grasp of my hand.
I kissed Aurora's nose as I saddled her up and swung myself up onto the saddle as I glanced over at Arthur who did the same then with our flagged spears in hand we rode to the top of the hill as I watched with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat as we saw the others depart. From Alecto to Germanius to Vanora and those beautiful children of hers, my fellow knights and brothers in arms as well as the man that I loved.
Just at the mere thought of Lancelot made my heart ache and my chest tighten as I struggled to breath over this lose yet I didn't feel that it was the end.
I glanced over at Arthur as I tried to ignore the moister that gathered within my eyes but saw him struggle with his own demons as he watched his knights, his brothers in arms and best friends ride away, I saw Galahad and Gawain glance up at Arthur and I then I saw Bor's ride forth so that he could be heard.
"Arthorious! Shirin! Russsssssssssss!" he yelled as he pounded his chest. Arthur and I glanced at him and after a few seconds we raised our flagged spears in return.
"Russssssss!" we cried back then I saw the light in Arthur's eyes dim a bit in sadness and I cursed everyone of both Saxon and Roman for putting us through such trials.
I glanced over at Lancelot to see him glance over at Arthur and I, seeming a bit lost and sadness apparent on his handsome features yet he made no advance to return but inside I told myself that it was for the best. I sat there watching as the Saxons laid scattered all over the place and I held myself back from shuddering at thought of that monster being amongst them but my palm itched to inflict the same torture and pain upon myself.
Arthur looked over at me as I wondered what he was planning on doing. I glanced at him questioningly.
"I am going to go speak to the leader of the Saxons, I want you to stay right here and be a lookout. Is that clear?" he ordered gently. I went to protested but I thought better of it as I felt a wind blow that seemed to carry a sense of doom and dread with it. I nodded obediantly which was a first for me and Arthur seemed a bit surprised but said nothing as he rode his horse towards the meeting with the Saxon as I watched in apprehension at his quick return then about 3 minutes later he returned with a straight face and settled against my side.
"Not long my dear sister, are you sure you are able to go through with this?" he asked. I merely nodded as I gazed out into the distance then to my surprise I heard the sound of hooves approaching and I turned to see Lancelot ride up between Arthur and I.
I stared at him in complete shock as Arthur seemed surprised at first but then he just let it past with a smile then the other knights rode up as well beside us as we gazed upon the land that had been our home for so long.
I felt Lancelot take my hand in his and raised it to his lips as I gazed within his eyes that now seemed to beg for my forgiveness which I nodded my go ahead then we turned as Arthur began to move about in front of us then looked at each of us.
"Knights! The gift of freedom is yours by right. The home we seek resides not in some distant land but in us" he started glancing in each one of our eyes. I felt Lancelot squeeze my hand in emphases.
"In our actions this day! If this be our destiny then so be it! But let history remember that as free men and women we choose to make it so!" he cried and let out a battle roar as we returned it then one by one we slammed our flagged spears into the ground and rode down to the battle that laid ahead but before we had a chance to I felt Lancelot stop me by grabbing the reins of my horse, surprised I turned to let him have it when he leaned in and kissed me into breathlessness and then when he pulled back I saw the desire, love and compassion in his eyes.
"I love you so much Shirin Castus and know this that I have your back there as I know you have mine" he remarked breathlessly. I nodded as I kissed him once more.
"Lancelot please be careful out there" I murmured against his lips. He nodded then we broke apart and rode out to a battle that possibly could be our last.