People, I've got to confess something: I lied. Demyx isn't confused. I had this idea for him but then I got into the chapter and just forgot all about his scene XD So now he's downgraded to being a 'mean bastard'.

The opinions of the characters don't necessarily reflect the author's opinions. I don't mean to offend anyone with this chapter, I just don't like Shania Twain. The name Roxanne was picked because it's similar to Roxas and blondie would have complained about any other name just the same.

Thanks to: Darkest Soul of Sadness, Bubblegum Head, Zed-Azrael, Ichixrenji-smexy love, Riku-stalker, Sora Keyblader and ChaosHarbor. Thanks you guys, your reviews really made my day!

Summary: Thanks to his twin Sora, their gambling addict of a cousin and a bit of blackmail Roxas finds himself cross-dressing as a girl and going to the local high school. He has to get through one month without getting busted and at first, it even seems like he'll succeed… if it weren't for that perverted redhead and his idiotic friends.

Pairings: AkuRoku, Zemyx, maybe others

Rating: M, because who knows what will happen

Have fun reading!

Shiruy

Mirage

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

- Tennessee Williams (1911 - 1983), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1955)

Fifth period was lunch, and I was looking forward to spending it alone in a quiet spot. It wasn't that I didn't like people… they just annoyed the hell out of me most of the time. Like these two girls that were sitting to my right, for example. Yeah, maybe Mr. Vexen wasn't the most interesting of teachers (and maybe it was just a bit creepy how he kept grinning at us) but that was no freaking reason to talk through the whole lesson. I would have understood if they would have talked about something interesting but no, they were blathering on about how this one guy was sooo cute and cool and hot and handsome, and yesterday, he had looked at Random Girl No.1, and they were sooo jealous… you get the picture.

By the time the bell finally rang, they had arrived at the question of what kind of underwear the guy was wearing. I tried to pay attention to the lesson, but it was like a car crash… I didn't want to hear them, but I just couldn't stop listening. Was that really how girls talked about boys? Let me tell you, never before was I so thankful to my genes for making me gay.

The second the bell interrupted me in my unwilling eavesdropping I threw all my stuff into my backpack and was prepared to make a run for it – but then I was literally mobbed.

"You're the new girl, aren't you? Where are you from?"

"Hi, I'm Selphie! What's your name?"

"What do you think about Setzer? Isn't he just dreamy? Oh, and by the way, I love your hair!"

"Where did you get that skirt? It's so cute! I've been searching for one just like that!"

"Hey, do you wanna eat lunch with us? Then you can tell us aaall there is to know about you!"

"You are so lucky Zexion is your student guide! He's soo hot!"

I looked desperately from left to right but I was surrounded by a gaggle of chattering girls and there was no way out. There were all asking me questions and telling me stuff I never wanted to know, and oh my god, these people really had no respect for personal space!

I hastily slipped out of the arm that had been laid around my waist and tried to back away, only to stumble into one of the other girls (who promptly giggled and clung onto my arm in a death-grip).

There really was no way out. Was this my fate? Be talked to death by a bunch of crazy girls who thought I was one of them? I just hoped that Sora would know this was all his fault when they found my mutilated corpse. (Maybe I should use the eyeliner in my pocket to write 'This is all your fault, Sora' on my hand or something. With my luck the idiot would think I was the victim of an accident and never feel guilty.)

They herded me out of the room, and all I could do is go with the flow and bemoan my cruel fate. Maybe I'd be lucky, and it would be fast and not too painful… then again, it already was pretty painful, so that hope was sort of redundant.

"And anyways, I was all, like, happy and stuff, because I thought he'd ask me to the dance, but then, then he was all, like, 'I'm sorry, but I like Mela', and can you believe that? I mean, Mela! She's soo stupid, and her clothes, I mean, she has absolutely no taste! And-"

Forget getting talked to death. If this continued I'd happily stab myself to death with my earring (Yes, I was wearing an earring. I used to have this really cool silver stud in my left ear but Kairi replaced it with one of these long dangling thingies that always got in the way).

What I wouldn't give for a time-machine right now… or a gun… or a flame thrower… or a – Wait! Were my eyes deceiving me? No! There was a gap!

I frantically started to work my way out of the circle, dislodging hands from my elbows and shoving girls to the side. Just three steps more and I'd be out! I could make it! I could – "Roxy, where are you going?"

Noooo!! (And where the hell had they gotten my name? I never told them!) Hands clamped onto my arm in vice-like grips and tugged me back into the middle of those hyaenas, and I knew that this was my last chance.

In a last-ditch attempt I lunged forward, my hand managed to break through the circle of girls… but it was no use. I felt myself slowly getting dragged back in, the chattering once again getting louder around me… and then someone took my outstretched hand. And yanked.

One second I was on my way to certain death, and the next I stumbled into the chest of the person who had gotten me out of that snake pit. There were a few confused "Roxy?"s behind me, but before they could spot me, I was already being led away by a firm hand on my wrist, down the hallway and around a corner.

My knight in shining armour set a brisk pace, and I was too busy trying to stay on my feet (damn shoes) to get a good look at him. Only when we left the building did he finally stop, and it took me a moment to get my bearings. (I hate these shoes. How do other girls do this? I mean, the damn sole is so thick that I can't feel the floor! I live in constant fear of stumbling over old gum and breaking a leg!)

"You okay?"

I blinked and looked up from glaring daggers at my boots. That voice sounded rather familiar, even though I couldn't have heard more than twenty words from him all morning.

"Zexion, have I ever told you that you're my favourite person in the whole wide world?"

He cracked a smile at that and motioned over to one of the empty stone tables that stood around the courtyard.

"Lunch?"

I nodded and followed him silently, trying to make myself forget the whole… thing that just happened. Really, I was never aware how dangerous stupid people in large groups could be. I sure as hell would avoid them from now on.

I slumped onto the bench and laid my head onto the table, utterly exhausted. Looked like this whole girl-for-one-month-bet would be harder than I thought. Well, at least the company wasn't that bad.

Across from me, Zexion was calmly sitting and eating his sandwich, absolutely no expression on his face and apparently in no mood to talk. I could live with that.

I got out my iPod and put on my headphones, seeing as I had no lunch. (Putting the make-up on without messing it all up had taken a lot longer than I had thought.) I sifted through my list and settled on a song from Saliva, content to be temporarily deaf in order to lift my mood.

It was a good ten minutes later that a poke brought me back into the real world. I had crossed my arms on the table and used them as pillow, and now I had to squint up at my companion. I slipped my headphones off so that they were hanging around my neck. "Hn?"

"Why are you here?"

Woah, that's what I call being straightforward. I shrugged.

"Messy divorce and my parents wanted me out of the way. I live with my brother."

And that wasn't even a lie. Our parents had gotten divorced and they had wanted Sora and me out of the way. Problem is, that was three years ago. They couldn't agree on who we should live with and when they finally came to the conclusion that it would be best if Sora lived with mom and I with dad, we mutinied and stayed with Cloud.

He nodded sagely as if he had expected this answer all along and answered, "My friends will be here in a few minutes and I thought I should warn you." I raised an eyebrow, wanting him to elaborate. He complied.

"Demyx can be rather exuberant and loud and Axel…he's-"

"Here!"

I jumped at the shout behind me and swivelled around, immediately spotting the two guys that were approaching our table. They were both rather tall, but while the blond with the weird… mullet? Whatever. While the blond was your normal kind of tall, the redhead next to him was Tall with a capital T. Suddenly, I was very happy about my three inch soles.

"Zexy! Axel was so mean to me in chem! And he blew up our assignment and we had to stay back to clean it up and that's why we're late and we're sorry!"

I blinked. Stared. Blinked again. What the fuck? While talking a mile a minute, the blond happily bounced over to us and proceeded to drape himself all over the silver-blue haired teen who… smiled?

Woah. Talk about unexpected.

Then suddenly the blond (Demyx? He was what I'd call exuberant…) looked at me and paused. I raised an eyebrow and stared back. And just when I thought this could develop into an all-out staring match, someone laid an arm around my shoulders.

"Since when do you socialize with girls, Zex? And cute ones, at that." The voice spoke directly into my ear, and reflexively, my whole body tensed. Had nobody at this school ever heard of personal space? (And I was not cute. Bastard.)

"This is-" Zexion started to answer, but me ramming my elbow into the gut of the redhead behind me and the resulting yowl of said redhead interrupted him.

Everyone turned to look as the guy bent over and clutched at his stomach, all the while cursing up a storm. In the ensuing silence and incredulous staring my student guide finished his sentence. "…Roxanne Strife, a new student."

The blond giggled and held his hand out to me. "Hi! I'm Demyx, and the guy you just almost-floored is Axel. Nice to meetcha!"

I felt a smile tugging at my lips and took his hand, shaking it once before letting go. "Hi."

At this, Axel slumped onto the bench beside me and… pouted at me. (People that tall shouldn't pout. It looks ridiculous.) "Why did you hit me? I was just being nice!" I snorted and turned to Zexion, completely ignoring him.

"This school is not a great believer in personal space, is it?"

The bluenette blinked at me, looked at Demyx – the blond was still hanging all over him – and shook his head. "Not really, no."

"Anyways!" And once again there was an arm over my shoulder and I found myself pressed against the redhead's side and him grinning down at me. "Where are you from – Roxanne, right?"

I mentally shook my fist at Sora. Roxanne? He couldn't come up with something even more stupid? I mean, no offence to all the Roxannes out there, but every time somebody said that name, the first thing I thought of was a hooker. I made another mental note on my List Of Things I Need To Kick Sora For.

I tried to shrug his arm off, but he obviously didn't get the hint (more like, ignored it) and I answered, annoyed, "Earth. Now get your hands off me."

Across the table, Demyx laughed and settled down next to Zexion. "I would listen to her if I were you, Ax, she looks like she's about to hit you again."

Actually, that was a very good idea. Before the redhead could answer his friend, I once again jabbed my elbow into his side, and when he yelped and reflexively got his arm off me, I used the opportunity to slide away from him and sit at the very edge of the bench. This time, even Zexion chuckled a bit.

"So you go into tenth grade, right?" I nodded at the blond's enthusiastic smile and fiddled with my iPod to turn it off. "Axel and me are in eleventh! Originally, Zexion was in our grade, too, but then he got into a car accident and had to stay in hospital for three months, and then he had to repeat tenth grad, which totally sucks, because he's one of my best friends and now I can't see him all the time anymore!"

I wondered if Zexion was alright with Demyx blabbing out his history. I mean, if I had gotten into a car crash and held back a year because of it, I wouldn't want every random stranger to know about it. But a quick glance showed me that the blunette was, in fact, quite contentedly nibbling at his sandwich and didn't seem bothered at all.

"But you can see me all the time! Doesn't that count as anything?" asked Axel in a feigned sad voice.

Immediately, Demyx let go of Zexion (I can't believe he's been hugging him this whole time. PDA, much?) and jumped over the table… onto Axel, who promptly shouted and fell to the floor, the blond following right behind. I stared.

"Oh Axel, I didn't mean to imply you were any less important to me than Zex! You know I love you, right? Right?"

This was just… Axel was lying flat on his back, his legs up on the bench with Demyx straddling his chest and looking at him like a kicked puppy.

I snorted. Then chuckled. Then had to lean onto the table and put a hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter. These people were absolutely crazy.

"Demyx, get off me! I can't freaking breath!" The redhead struggled under his friends weight but didn't succeed in dislodging him. The blond laughed maniacally.

"Admit your undying love for Shania Twain and I'll let you up!"

Woah, okay. That was plain cruel.

"What? Never! How can you ask that of me, you mean bastard!"

Demyx cackled and made himself comfortable on Axel's chest.

"You just answered your own question, darling, I can do it because I'm a mean bastard! So say it already: You love Shania Twain!"

For a moment the redhead looked honestly desperate – but then he smirked.

"Alright, I give up. You obviously have me beat. I'll just have to say it." Here, he took a deep breath. "DEMYX LOVES SHANIA TWAIN!"

I laughed again as almost everyone in the courtyard turned to stare at the two on the floor, Axel grinning, Demyx completely horrified. They reminded me of Sora and Tidus.

"Axel! How could you! Now I won't share my lunch with you!" Pouting, the blond stood up and stomped around the table, once again sitting down next to Zexion, who had watched the whole thing with an amused smile on his lips.

Next to me, the tall redhead climbed back onto the bench and snickered at his blond friend. "Well, if you hadn't been so mean to me in the first place, I wouldn't have had to be so mean to you."

Demyx opened his mouth to answer but stopped when Zexion laid a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "Eat your lunch. Class starts in ten minutes."

The blond looked torn for a moment before nodding and getting his food out of his backpack. Huh, seemed like Zexion knew how to get him to quiet down.

"Sooo… I still don't know a whole lot about you, Roxy." I hadn't really noticed before, but Axel suddenly once again sat right next to me. (And: Roxy? Wtf?) "Tell me, what's there to know about you?" He grinned, and probably for the first time, I looked up into his eyes… and for a moment, I forgot everything around me. They were such an intense green like I had never seen before, bright, sparkling emeralds that contrasted sharply with his blood red hair and I felt utterly lost. How could someone have eyes like that…?

But then he blinked and I realized I was staring, but instead of quickly looking away like someone who had been caught, I allowed myself the time to take in every detail of his face, the teardrop-tattoos under his eyes, the elegant slope of his nose and his high cheek bones.

I know what you're thinking right now and I can tell you, it was not like that. I did not fall madly in love with him right at that moment, and to tell you the truth, I even thought he was rather obnoxious right then. But there's one thing I can't deny: Right then, I wanted to draw him. (Yes, I like to draw. Yes, I know it's kind of girly. Got a problem with that, talk to my fist.)

"Roxanne?"

I blinked and found Axel looking at me weirdly. Damn my tendency to space out at random moments. "Sorry, what?" He grinned again, but this time it held a rather cocky quality to it.

"Want me to show you around a bit?" Zexion had already done that you bonehead, duh.

"No, thanks. Break's over in a few minutes anyway." He leaned even closer and I wanted to move away but couldn't without risking falling off the bench. Stupid bastard had me cornered.

"You sure? I promise I can show you one or two broom closets you haven't seen yet…" He trailed off suggestively and raised an eyebrow, all the while smirking at me.

Was this guy for real? I gave him a blank look, trying to wrap my mind around the concept that he just very bluntly proposed we go make out in a closet. Then, he laid an arm around my shoulders. Again. He really doesn't learn, does he?

This time I jabbed him hard enough that he fell off the bench – I had to hold on to the table to avoid getting dragged down with him – and calmly picked up my backpack while he was lying cursing on the floor. Across the table, Demyx and Zexion had been talking between themselves, but at the sudden action, their gazes riveted to us.

I stood up and raised an eyebrow at Axel as he was slowly getting up, utterly unimpressed by his pout. "You really like pain, don't you?"

He straightened up and smirked down at me. (What's he got to smirk about? I just pushed him off a freaking bench. And yes, I was still happy about the three extra inches.)

"Oh, as long as you're the one delivering it…"

"…" Okay, yeah, I admit it. I was kind of speechless at that. What was I supposed to say? He just told me he was a freaking masochist! So I just snorted and turned around, ready to try and find my next class.

"Bye, Zexion, Demyx." I nodded at them both and received a nod and a wave in return, ignored the kiss Axel blew me and walked off. What a bonehead.

Edit: I've got a beta! XD Wouhou! I'm so happy! Say 'Thank you' to Zed-Azrael, people, because thanks to her, this chapter is waaay better now.

I think you all noticed that Roxas is a bit of a drama queen but he just wrote himself like that. grin And honestly, in his place I would have wanted to stab myself, too…

Next chapter: Cloud and Leon make an appearance. Axel just doesn't learn. And sometimes Roxas would be better off if he could just keep his mouth shut.

Again: Feel free to review and tell me what you think should happen! I only have a rough idea about what should happen and need ideas.

To Ichixrenji-smexy love: Axel will be somewhat of a player but not too bad. And short-shorts… now that's worth a second thought.

Thanks for reading!

Shiruy