For the first week he had been gone, she laid in bed and cried, sulked, slept. Anything to rid her mind of his face, the way he looked at her from the car as if to say "I'm sorry". He wasn't sorry, he was a bastard. The second week he was gone, and when her phone had started to ring at all hours of the night, she decided she was going to make him realize what he was missing. She looked up from the mirror as her phone started ringing again. Jude smirked as she pressed the reject button. It had only taken him a week, a fricken week on his honeymoon and he was calling her again. She knew she was pressing her luck, she hadn't answered his calls for 3 days and sooner or later he would stop calling.
Her
phone vibrated again as she put her makeup on in the mirror, she
sighed, looking at it. She picked it up and flipped it open but not
saying anything.
"Baby? Jude, Hello?" His
voice was stressed, sorrowful almost.
"Yes"
was all she said as she sat down on her bed. No matter how hard she
tried to be strong with him, she just ended up giving in.
"I've
been calling you,"
"And I've been crying,
what does it matter." She spat back at him.
"Jude,
I, just…"
"I don't care anymore." She
told him. She lied, through her teeth, he knew and she knew it.
"Don't say that." He told her, it sounded
like he was about to cry.
"Why Tom, you didn't
care."
"Look, just, I miss you ok?" She
smiled and laughed out loud to her self, she wasn't showing him any
sympathy, at least not yet.
"I told you that,
how come things I always tell you end up somehow being reiterated
from your mouth? Could it be because I'm right?"
Flashback
She
sobbed on his sofa, unable to even hold her head up as she laid down.
Tommy just looked at her, his heart breaking, but he was too deep
into this, there wasn't anything he could do to get out of it now.
He sat down next to her and reached out to gently touch her. She
jerked her leg back away from him, tighter up to her body.
"DON'T
TOUCH ME" she screamed at him. He winced and crossed his arms
across his chest.
"Jude, just listen." He
said trying to talk to her.
"NO! FUCK YOU
TOMMY; I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN ANYMORE." She composed her self a
little more and stood up from the couch looking down on him.
"All
I've done is listen Tom! Listen to your promises and your
words…your empty fuckin words. And look at where they have gotten
me! I begged you Tom, to wait for me, but no!!! You just had to FUCK
someone didn't you?" He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples,
while she continued, it hurt to hear what she had to say, but she was
right.
"Then Sadie and her sneaky ass SOMEHOW
convinced you that you loved her. Let me remind you somewhere in all
of that you started fucking ME too? Did you forget that? Did you
forget the words that you tell me? No, I'm sure you didn't, you
tell her the same thing don't you?"
"No
Jude I don't, come on baby, you know how I feel about you."
"NO TOM, I don't…you say all these things
and then we're together, and it's wonderful," She calmed down
and little and sat next to him on the sofa, taking his hand in hers,
" but then you never do anything about it!"
"You
know how I feel about you, and you know I mean all the things I say,
and I don't have too much room to talk because of Speid. BUT, you
and I agreed it would be best for me to stay with him, so nobody
would think anything different. You also know that I'm not going to
marry him Tom. How can you do this to me?" she said looking at him.
He cupped her face in his hands and she closed her eyes and leaned
into his palm.
"I'll figure it out ok baby?
I promise, it will all work out. No matter what happens I love you
most ok? You'll always be mine." He assured her placing soft
kisses over her swollen eyes.
"When
you marry her Tom, you'll be thinking of me. And when you kiss her,
your going to want to be kissing me…you'll miss me Tom, even when
it's my arms you still get to run to…You'll miss me baby, even
when I'm right here. Because until your with me and, and only me,
your always going to leave."
End Flashback
Tommy
didn't say anything he was silent on the other end of the
phone.
"So…how have you been calling me so
much?
"I'm 14 hours ahead of you…it's 6
am on Monday morning here in Brisbane, Sadie is asleep. She stayed
out late with her friends."
"Her friends?"
Jude asked, "I didn't know she had friends in Australia."
"She
doesn't, they met us here." Jude laughed out loud.
"Sounds
like one hell of a honeymoon."
"Well," he
said hesitating, "you know Sadie and the rest of the model clan,
they have more money then they know what to do with"
"Unfortunately, so let me guess…she's
gone out every night and you've been…at the bar?"
"What
do you want me to do Jude? Sit in my room and cry over you?"
"YES
TOM! That's exactly what I want you to do! Better yet I want you to
come home and get your fake ass marriage annulled."
"Hey
it's not completely fake…the marriage certificate is real" he
said joking with her. The sad thing was he knew the truth, but
couldn't bring himself to face it. In reality he did love Sadie, he
cared about her. Jude only saw her for the bad, but Tom knew she had
some good in her. But he couldn't expect Jude to think the world of
her…
"When are you coming home? I need you…"
she told him starting to tear up.
"Soon, you
being good?" he asked referring to Speid. Jude had convinced him
that she was saving herself for marriage and couldn't have sex with
him until then. So far he had bought it and it worked.
"Yes
Tom," she said as she cried a little harder, he was a hypocrite
sometimes and gave her a hard time about Speid.
"I'm
just asking," he said innocently.
"Well you
give me a hard time for kissing my 'boyfriend' and you went off
and married someone else."
"Look Jude," he
said as Sadie started to roll around in the bed as if she was waking
up.
"I think Sadie's waking up, I need to be
quiet, I'll call you later."
"Of course,"
she said to him in a pissed off tone. He didn't want to argue with
her anymore about this, and he had just called her to tell her he
missed her, not to be reminded of the decision he made.
"Answer
your phone? Please?" he said, almost pleading with her.
"Sure
baby, just be careful while your there…" she said as her voice
broke and whimpered into the phone.
"Please
don't cry," he told her quietly.
"I'm
not" she said as she did her best to compose her self.
"Ok,
I love you, bye"
"I…love you…too" she
said as she too deep breaths to get it out without sobbing. She
clicked her phone closed and laid it down on her bed and she buried
her face in her pillow. Well that was a pointless phone call. All it
did was make her feel like shit, and it was either one extreme or the
other with him. He was either making her feel not good enough or he
was making her feel like she hung the stars in the sky. Her phone
rang again and she picked it up automatically knowing who it
was.
"Hello" she said her voice whiney and
shaky.
"No crying" he told her once
more.
"I know" she said, "You love me?"
she asked him
"More then you know…" he
said letting his words trail off, "Be strong for me baby, don't
give up on me yet, this all just started and I need you."
"Ok,"
she said sniffling, his words always seemed to comfort her, whether
she believed him or not. But she did have faith in him, more then she
should, but it hard to not trust someone personally when you trust
them with your heart.
The
days went by and slowly turned into another week. He called her a few
more times, the conversations not differing much then the pervious
ones. It was 12 in the afternoon and he called her to wake her up,
knowing she would still be asleep since it was the weekend.
"Are
you up?" he asked her excitedly.
"I am now,
where are you?" she asked as she rubbed the sleep out of her
eyes.
"Still here, we leave tomorrow, but I
think its still 2 days till you see me or something like that. I
don't know I'm all fucked up on my time and days. Look but can
you do something for me?"
"Sure, what?"
she was always doing something for him, whether it was going to the
bank, or grocery shopping, or coming over to see him…
"Get
dressed, and go outside and get in the Limo that's waiting for
you."
"What?" she asked as she jumped out
of bed and looked at it.
"Just do it, I'll
call you later" he said as he hung up. She dressed quickly and ran
down the stairs. What was he up to? When she got to the limo, the
drive came around and opened the door for her. Once she was inside
and they were moving, she rolled down the partition.
"Um
excuse me, where are we going?"
"I'm
under strict orders to not tell you." The driver told her. She sat
back and crossed her arms, trying to think of where Tommy could be
having her taken. Fifteen minuets later they pulled up to a boutique
downtown and the driver opened the door and instructed her to go in
and he would be waiting when she was done.
She
walked inside and was greeted by a very nice older woman.
"Oh
Miss Harrison! You're here! I've been waiting for you! Let's
get you dressed up shall we?"
"Where am I
going to go all dressed up?" she asked as she followed the women
back to some dressing rooms.
"That
I can't tell you, I'm sorry." Jude pouted and the lady laughed,
"You might as well stop trying to guess and just go along with it,
you won't be disappointed though."
"I'm
Martha by the way; it's so nice to meet you." Jude shook her
hand.
"Please call me Jude…so" she said
looking around, "what do I get to wear today?" Martha and her
assistants fluttered around Jude for two and a half hours. Jude was
convinced that she tried on every dress in the store, only to settle
on one of the first ones she put on. It was purple and flowed all
around her, but stopped mid leg, about at her knees. Martha picked
out some gorgeous silver heals to go along with it. When they were
done, they packaged it up for her and told her it would be waiting
for her and one of the next places she went. She exited the store and
waved goodbye to the ladies inside. The driver then took her to this
great little outside café where there was a poetry reading
going on.
A young girl, about Jude's age went
up to the little stage they had set up and sat down on the stool.
Jude saw her hands shaking and she smiled at the nervousness. She had
to been nervous and it seemed like her first time on stage, but the
rush of knowing everyone was listening to you, your words and your
feelings was magic.
She spoke very timidly at
first, but her voice got stronger as she went on.
"You
invade my thoughts through passion
your hands
endorse my skin
our tongues collide
immensely
not known to us of sin.
Loved
only by another
your fantasy drives the
night
Submerged in desires of
ecstasy
Hypnotized by what feels right.
Persuasion
into lust
Compelled of destiny we
seek
Embracing time till morning
dawns
Immortality in me runs deep.
Provoked
by indiscretion
unfaithful nights of
bliss
boundaries set of no limits
Commenced
by just one kiss."
Jude began to cry softly as she heard the
words, almost as if the poem at been written been written for her.
The girl quickly exited the stage and waved to Jude as she walked by.
Before she could question the girl, Jude's phone rang.
"So,
how is lunch?" Tommy asked her.
"It's
wonderful, how are you doing all this?" she asked him.
"Oh
I have my ways, did you like my poem?"
"Your
poem?" she said the tone in her voice rising.
"You
think I made you go to a poetry reading to listen to a bunch of
strangers? It was for you…"
"It was
beautiful…you made me cry" she told him.
"I
figured you would," he said, "but look I got to go, I just wanted
to check in with you. Enjoy the rest of your day."
"I
will, I love you Tom" she said as she played with the napkin in her
lap.
"I love you too, bye."
The
next place that Jude was whisked off to was a salon where they were
going to do her make up and hair. Her dress was waiting there for her
to put on when they were done with her. A completely fabulous gay man
named Jake greeted her with a flamboyant hug and loud air kisses on
her cheeks.
"I've soo been dying to meet
you, I can't wait to make you look like a goddess…lets go this
way." He said grabbing her hand and pulling towards his station.
He
snapped at some girl to bring him the dress that Jude was wearing
tonight.
"Do you like it?" she asked him as
he looked at it.
"God yes girl it's
beautiful, and just wait till I get done with you." He spun her
around and did her hair and makeup without her being able to look in
the mirror. 2 hours and a headache later she was done. She walked
into the dressing room and slipped on the dress up over her hips and
up onto her shoulders. The shoes made her feet look tiny and elegant
as the rhinestones on them sparkled. When she walked out of the room,
it sounded like the whole salon gasped when they saw her. Jake came
up to her and hugged her.
"You look like an
angel" he told her, "You want to see yourself?" But he didn't
wait for her to answer as he moved her in front of a mirror. He was
right; she did look like an angel, her blond hair all curly and piled
on top of her head. Her make-up was light, but purple in tones, and
it matched her dress. She smiled as she studied her reflection,
almost not sure that it was herself that she was looking. Her smile
quickly faded and she started to fiddle with the ring on her
hand.
"What's wrong darling? You don't
like it?" he asked her, peering at her in the mirror from over her
shoulder.
"No it's not that…it's just I
feel like I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go."
"Oh
you have somewhere to go, speaking of, you need to leave, and your
limo is waiting outside."
Once
inside the limo, her cell phone rang.
"So do
you look beautiful?" he asked her in a smooth voice.
"Yes"
she said quietly.
"Is there something wrong?"
he asked worried about the tone in her voice.
"No,
no I just wish you were here that's all," she told him.
"Baby
I'll be home soon enough," he told her.
"Ok,"
"Enjoy
your last place to visit ok?"
"Ok love
you,"
"Love you too" he told her.
The
limo drove around for what seemed like forever and Jude almost
drifted off to sleep, lulled by sound of the traffic outside. They
pulled to a stop and Jude opened her eyes. The driver came and opened
the door, taking Jude's hand as she stepped out.
"Your
ride ends here dear, have a lovely night." He said as he let go of
her hand, got back in the limo and drove off. She looked around to
see if she could figure out where she was…she was still in the
middle of downtown, and recognized the area as being very near to
Tommy's…well Sadie and Tommy's now.
"Miss
Harrison? Are you coming in?" asked the door man to the building as
he stood with the door open.
"Uh yes" she
said as she walked inside. A very beautiful women dressed in a
business suit greeted her.
"Miss Harrison,
we've been waiting for you. Welcome to The Fairmont. Here are your
keys, and your condo is on the top floor. We hope you enjoy your
residence with us." Jude took the keys from the woman and looked at
her like she was nuts.
"I'm sorry, I don't
get what's happening here," Jude told her. The woman placed a
hand on Jude's back and gently pushed her towards the elevator.
"You will soon enough, I can't answer any
of your questions. You'll want floor number 35" The elevator
dinged and Jude stepped inside. She pressed the "35" button and
waited till she reached the top. It opened and she stepped out into a
small hallway. There was a door at the end and walked to it
cautiously, unlocking it. She stepped inside, placed the keys on a
small entry table and started to cry. The air smelled of roses, and
the light was soft from the glow of the candles. There were white
rose petals on the ground laying out a path for her to walk on. She
followed them around a corner into a dining room where there was a
table set for two, with the white roses covering every available
space. One of the chairs had a hand written sign on it that said,
"Sit on me". She looked at it hard…she new that handwriting but
she did what it said and then…waited. Her phone rang as if on
cue.
"So? Do you like it?" he asker her in a
quiet voice.
"Tommy this place is beautiful…"
she said as she gazed out the window seeing the skyline.
"Good
I'm glad you like it, did you look around?"
"No
I just followed the roses…how did you do all this?" she asked.
She gasped when he walked around the corner from the kitchen. He was
dressed in a striking suit with a tie that matched her dress.
"I
got back a few days ago" he said still holding the phone to his ear
as he walked towards her. She couldn't say anything, she just
stared at him. He slowly reached down and took the phone from her
hand as he hung it up. He put his phone down on the table and pulled
on her hand to stand up. She did and threw her arms around his neck.
He wrapped his arms around her and soon felt her body gently shaking
as he held her.
"Don't cry baby, please, you
look so so beautiful."
"I can't believe
you did this," she said as she blinked her eyes and looked at
him.
"It's all for you baby, I owe you this
and so so much more." He said as touched her cheek gently. "Are
you hungry? Or do you want to look around your new place
first."
"My new place?"
"Ummm
ya, what did you think this was?" he told her as he pulled her into
the kitchen.
"I don't know, somewhere for us
to just spend the night?"
"No baby, it's
yours for as long as you want to stay here, it's really close to
me, so I can come see you…"
Ohhh she got
it, she realized what he was up to. But she appreciated it just the
same.
"This doesn't make up for what you
did, and I should tell you no, that I won't live here, but I know
that this took a lot for you to do…" she said as she leaned
against the counter in the kitchen.
"Please
stay, even if you never forgive me, please, I want you to know that I
want to take care of you, and I'll give you whatever you want if I
can. This is just the first of my ways to tell you I'm sorry I hurt
you," he said.
"You know what I want Tom."
She said as she stared at him right in the eye. He moved towards her
and took her hand.
"Come with me," was all
he said. She followed him down a hall into the master bedroom. She
looked around at the room and smiled. There was a large 4 poster bed
in the middle of the room on a raised platform. The black silk sheets
shone in the candle light, but she didn't bother to look at the
rest of the room, she was too distracted at the man who approached
her side. He wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed her
neck.
"I love you Jude, please, let me love
you." He told her. She stood still at his touch, making no move to
encourage him.
"I don't know if I can
anymore" she said looking at him, tears threatening to spill from
her eyes.
"Baby…" he said as he pulled
her close to him.
"It was supposed to be me…"
she said as the tears spilled down her cheeks.
"It
is you baby, no matter what it's always you." He said as he
tentatively captured her lips in his. As hard as she would try to
resist him, his kiss always turned her to mush, and she melted into
his arms. He kissed her strongly until he felt the walls she had
built up, giveaway. He pulled back from her and scooped her up
carrying her to the bed. She sat down and began to undo her shoes. He
placed his hand on hers and began to do it for her…she could get
use to this. He slowly undressed her placing soft kisses up her legs
and he reached around to unzip her dress.
"Tom?"
she said.
"What baby?" he said as she
reached to push the jacket off his shoulder.
"Stay
with me tonight," he looked deep into her eyes and kissed her with
all of the love he had within him.
"I
wouldn't have it any other way."
