chapter 2a
The light shone in the window onto his face, making him glow. Usually it was the man who was supposed to sit up and watch the girl sleep. But Jude loved to watch him, breath in, breath out, maybe toss and turn a little. It was the one moment in time that Jude could have alone for her self, for her memories, that she knew Tommy was not with anyone else. It was the one moment that she could assure herself that he was with her, and only her. Often she would cry softly as she gazed upon him, and sometimes he would catch her, only to hold her and let her cry harder. He knew ways to make her feel better but they seemed to only last temporarily. Ultimately he knew what he would have to do…her happiness seemed to be the only thing he could dwell on lately.
And that took away from his happiness. It deeply saddened him that he could care less if Sadie was happy or not. All he had to do was throw her a credit card and she was fine…but she was his wife, he committed to her, in front of all the people that mattered most to them…except Jude.

Flashback.
"I want you there"
"NO! I absolutely refuse, how can you even ask me that?" Jude said crossing her arms and turning away from him.
"Jude please be adult about this…" Tommy said as he twisted her around to look at him. She ripped her arms away from him and pushed as hard as she could.
"ADULT? SERIOUSLY? Tom you are the one marrying someone else, not me…the only way I will EVER be at your wedding, is if I'm the one wearing the fucking white dress." She stopped out of the room.
End Flashback

The only memory he had of Jude that day was her tears, and he vowed he would stop her tears, no matter what.

"What were you like when you were a kid Tom Quincy?" asked Jude as she sat in the studio with him. They were supposed to be working but had decided to take a break and share something to eat.
"I don't know, always moving about, always dancing or singing. I was completely spoiled…my dad passed when I was younger, so mom always tried to give me whatever I wanted"
"Ohh so you were the kid that I hated in school" he laughed and threw a French fry at her.
"What do you have to hate? You're the one who's got it all girl." Jude looked down at her half eaten hamburger. She looked up at him flashing him one of those half hearted, Julia Roberts distressed smiles…
"I don't have you"
"Babe," he said as he rolled his chair over right in front of her. She put her hands on his knees, willing herself not to cry again.
"It's ok, seriously…ok well really it's not but I'm fine…I'll get used to it all, take it a day at a time right?" Tom returned her smile, not sure if he had the words to comfort her.
"Do you wanna record some more? Or do you want the rest of the day off…" he said looking at her.
"I guess that depends doesn't it," Jude answered him.
"Well…Sadie's flight come in from Australia in 4 hours," he told her.
"What was she still doing there again?" Jude asked as she shoved a huge piece of burger in her mouth.
"Oh she um planned the honeymoon to correspond with a shoot she had there so she wouldn't have to fly back and forth twice. So now it's over and she's coming home."
"Oh" said Jude…sounded like a plan, she was sure Sadie spent long hours thinking it up, her brain not grasping things like time changes and how many days she was actually staying. She laughed to her self.
"What's too funny?" he asked.
"Nothing, Sadie's stupid that's all."
Tom smiled at her.
"Not all of the time…only most of it."
"See! That! I don't get that, you make it seem to me that you hate her and you think she's the dumbest girl EVER! Yet you married her?? Makes a lot of since to me!"
"I just," he said sighing, not being able to finish what he was saying.
"You just what? I want to know"
"I just don't always like telling you the good stuff ok? You get this pouty face and your voice gets a little higher like your trying not to cry…it's easier to just not tell you."
"So if you fuck her, and I want you that day, are you going to tell me?" she asked him crossing her arms.
"If that's what you want. I said I would do whatever you wanted…"
"Fine," she said standing and throwing her food away, "I want you to tell me, and when I get upset you can't act like you don't know why got it?"
"Ok" he said, struggling to swallow. How he ever got caught between two sisters…he would never know.

-----------------

The little black droplets slid down the curve of her cheek and into the palm of her hands. Sometimes she would miss and let it fall to the floor, making a small spot on the white carpet. 'Damn, I need new makeup' she thought as she saw the black.
"Jude, baby, say something, anything please." He begged her. It had been a month since Sadie had returned home and she didn't have another shoot scheduled for 3 weeks. The sneaking around had been going on to the extreme, but it kept their relationship hot, it kept them always wanting more when they had just gotten done. They both seemed to never be satisfied no matter how often they snuck off. And they had made a game out of seeing how many unusual places they could have sex.
Stair well in the g-major parking garage? Check
Against Tom and Sadie's front door?(when she was due home any minuet) Check
Dressing room at one of Jude's appearances? Check
Hell, Jude didn't care; she would be with him on a park bench in the middle of the street if that was what he wanted. She just wanted to make him happy, wanted to please him in every possible way as if to convince him it was ok to be with her. Sure Sadie could offer him a lot, but nothing that Jude couldn't also give to him.
"Honey?" Tom whispered, sitting down next to her gently. She cringed inwardly and wanted to scoot away. "Please don't hate me…I tried to get out of it I really did, you have to believe me Jude."
Get out of it, like it was this awful task that had to be completed against someone's will. When in all reality it was something most men would die for…sex with a supermodel.
"I don't hate you," she said calmly, "I just…" she took a deep breath trying to compose her words. " I didn't know I would hurt so badly." She started crying more openly as she finished the sentence. She knew it was bound to happen, why was this upsetting her so much?
Because she let her mind get the best of her, trying to imagine how he touched her, and how she sounded. Where did they do it? Did he enjoy it?
She looked up at him
Of course he did, he was a man.
"Can I just, be alone for a little bit?" she asked him. He nodded, kissed the side of her head, and walked toward the door.
"Jude?" he said turning around.
"Ya?"
"I do love you" He said.
"I know you do."

Tommy walked back to his apartment a few buildings down, fishing his keys out of his pocket as if he had just gotten out of the car.
"Sadie?" he called as he went into the apartment.
"I'm in here baby!" she yelled. He followed the sound of her voice into the bedroom they shared. She was standing on a chair, trying to nail a nail into the wall with a high heal. He laughed at her as she missed again and hit the wall softly.
"Need some help?"
"Please?" she said pouting as she jumped down off the chair. He quickly nailed the nail in and turned around handing her the high heal.
"Whatcha doing anyways?" he asked her. Sadie walked over to the bed a picked up one of the many picture frames she had scattered everywhere.
"I'm hanging up out wedding pictures; I thought they would look nice in here. See?" she said hading him one, "When you were at work I went and made some copies and got all the frames, I wanted to surprise you but I took longer then I thought I would." He smiled weakly at her, placing the frames back down on the bed.
"That's nice."
"I just thought, well maybe you would like it…" she said looking away.
"No, Sade it's not that that, I just have a headache and I'm tired…the pictures are really really nice."
"Here," she said stacking some of the pictures on the floor "Lay down," He did as he was told and she then sat on the bed putting his head in her lap. She gently stroked and petted his head, running her fingers through his hair. She smiled when a few minuets later she noticed he was asleep.
"I love you," she whispered to him as she gently slid off the bed trying not to wake him up. She tiptoed out of the room quietly and shut the door, leaving him to his dreaming.

Jude laid in bed for what seemed like hours, just not having the energy or drive to do much more. She had thought about all the things that had been happening, and cursed her self for even loving Tom Quincy in the first place. She tried to tell her self that she would leave him, cut it off, and let him be with Sadie. But every time she did, she started to feel sick. Imagining him with Sadie made her feel even worse, but she tried not to think of it like that. She tried to think about it in the way that made her feel better.
Maybe it sucked? Maybe he would start to feel very detached from Sadie because of his feelings for Jude and he would leave her? She could only hope, but what she really hoped is that one day, his desire and longing for her would be so great, that nothing, not even Sadie, would stop them from being together.
She just wanted him to love her enough to be with her, and only her.

Tommy awoke to his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it groggily.
"Can you come over?" she asked him. He could tell she had still been crying and it made his heart sink in his chest.
"Ya give me a little bit and I'll be right there," he said, "can I bring you anything? You hungry?"
"No," she said stopping to blow her nose, "I just need you."
He held her gently as she cried just a little bit more, and when she felt better she announced she was done and led him into the bed room. It was weird but all she could think about was being with him. Maybe it was to know that she was making him happy, maybe it was the fact that she would think 'fuck you Sadie' in her head part of the time. Maybe it was simply the fact that she loved this man. He laid her down on the bed and kissed her softly all over, paying attention to smooth flat stomach, right at where it sloped down to her hips. She smiled and giggled as he nipped at it, it tickled. He looked up at her and smiled as she ran her fingers thought his hair, just the same as Sadie had done a few hours ago.
"There's my girl's smile." He said as he continued to kiss her. He kept kissing his way down up till he was able to lick and suck on her clit, tasting her desire for him. He slowly pushed a finger inside her warmth, as she began to rock gently against his hand.
"Baby..." she whimpered.
"What?" he said as he looked up at her beautiful face and closed eyes.
"Please, I need you." She said as she arched back. His fingers moved inside her faster and she moaned louder.
"I want you wet," he said as he kissed back up her body and stopping at her flushed chest, never removing his fingers.
"Tommy" she said barely above a whisper. She felt like her body was on fire as he brought her close to orgasm so painfully slow. When he finally pushed her over the edge, he kissed on her neck, telling her to come hard. His encouragement paid off and she sighed, content, as she came down off her high. He stood for a moment only to remove his own clothes. She looked so beautiful laying there on her bed, her hair strewn across the sheets, the look of lust dancing in her eyes. He moved on top of her and entered her slowly. She gasped and held him still, savoring the moment.
"Do you love me Tom?" she asked him.
"Yes" was all he said as he started to thrust inside her, it was all he needed to say. He kissed all over her face, and back to her lips as he parted them sensually with his tongue. He kissed her like it was the last time he was ever going to be able to kiss her. Their slow love making soon turned very passionate and hot, and Jude couldn't touch him enough. Her hands were everywhere on his, and her lips had found a home attached to his neck. She was moaning louder and louder, telling him to fuck her harder, how ever he wanted to. He slowed down and stopped, pulling out of her.
"What is it?" she asked him, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said flipping them over, smiling.
"I'm going to make you come, and I want to be able to watch you. See the look on your face when you feel me inside of you."
If words alone could make you cum, she would have. She moaned and got on top of him, sliding down on his shaft. His hands were on her hips, helping her move up and down. She closed her eyes and tiled her head back, concentrating on the feelings created by him inside her.
"That's it baby, come for me." He said as he watched her intently. It pleasured him greatly to know she was pleasured. He hands grasped at his chest as she moved up and down quickly, her movements becoming frantic and hard. He was so close but he wanted to wait until she was right there. She could feel him throbbing inside her and her muscles started to contract. She opened her eyes and looked right at his hansom face as she started to come, saying his name over and over. He couldn't stand it any longer and he held her hips in place as he thrusted up inside her. She only screamed louder and louder as he spilled into her, filling her up.

They laid there in bed for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was only a few minuets. She knew he would have to get up and leave soon and she dreaded it.
"Baby?" he said to her.
"What?"
"You know I love you, more then anything." He told her as he ran his hand in circled on her back.
"I know you do," she replied.
"And you know I'm sorry right?"
"I know you that too," she said flipping over, "I know you love me baby, and I believe it, and now I realize…that's all that matters."